Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC following a termination for abnormalities. Thread 7

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise I totally understand the need to be doing something, it's good to have a focus. At the same time though, try not to blame yourself for what happened. Will you have a follow up consultant with your obstetrician to discuss the possible reasons or chances of it happening again?xx

kiki I think I'll have just the normal six weeks check. The consensus of the specialists when he was diagnosed was that it was "just one of those things" because I was taking folic acid for six months prior to conception. But I've already made an appointment with the fertility clinic, so I'm hoping if I can get to the bottom of the potential PCOS issue then I'll have better luck controlling (potential) insulin resistance. Or it may be something to do with folate resistance. I'm clutching at straws a bit because I'm desperate not to repeat the experience we've just been through.

How are you? How is everyone today?

Heya @AlexaPlayWhiteNoise I’m so sorry you
Find yourself here. It’s exhausting and depleting and endlessly upsetting. Hoping your 6week follow up brings some clarity. I lost a pregnancy and delivered at 14 weeks- severe fetal anomaly and Down’s syndrome as well. I chose not to know the gender and the doctor was very good about keeping it frm me.
@Kiki275 @Mummabear40 how are ye doing?

I’m driven mental doing OPKs and BBT but my boobs are so sore and I have a lot of bloating. Who knows if my period will come or if I’ll get a bfp. I wish I understood my body better. I think I’m in my tww now

@CorkViaDublin ok yes, in my TWW 🙄 it’ll feel like forever as it always does. Just keeping everything crossed as really want to be pregnant before Christmas. Good luck with your wait xx

@CorkViaDublin I'm okay thanks. Just keep getting a bit despondent about it all. I've ordered another 100 OPKs because I have little belief that I'll get pregnant any time soon. Started BBTing too.

I'll keep everything crossed for you. It's awful when your body sends mixed signals.

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise I hope things are getting a little easier for you. Did the suspected PCOS make you struggle to conceive your beautiful boy? Fingers crossed the fertility clinic appreciate your concerns and prioritise some assistance for you x

Is this a vvvvvvvvv faint positive or is it an evap line. I have no idea of date/ovulation so I don’t know how to judge

@CorkViaDublin I'm really not sure but I'd keep testing. 🤞🤞🤞 x

@CorkViaDublin difficult to know when you’re unsure of your dates tbh as it could be either. Here’s hoping is a feint bfp xx

i got a negative last week at my GP as they were testing for retained products as i had cramping, now i wondering if i was ovulating and i might be pg again?

How long between taking the test and the line showing was there cork because that's a really dark evap (but I've never used those tests so I don't know if that's standard for them!). Keeping my fingers crossed for you! The TWW is shit. I'm not looking forward to going back to those days.

Kiki I thought I had it but then I had a conversation with my GP yesterday as a welfare call and when I had bloods done in January I "wasn't even close to diabetes" and "showed no signs of a hormonal imbalance" so now I'm stumped. Because my cycles are long, I have always had extra hair, including a beard, oh joy! And from OPKs I don't always ovulate. I'm wondering if I do BBT then I might shed some more light on it, I've never done it before. Have you been BBTing long?

Keeping my fingers crossed for you too mumma I really hope this is your cycle.

The thread on gender disappointment in AIBU is so eye opening, it's like viewing from behind glass for me at the moment. How readily people take healthy babies for granted. I feel like I've passed over into a different universe. It's obviously very fresh for me but it's completely surreal just feeling like "you have no idea what sadness,, grief, mourning and disappointment is".

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise there's obviously something going on with those signs. I've been BBTing for a grand total of 4 days so can't really comment on it.
Ive read that thread too and totally agree. We didn't find out with DS until he was born. We only requested to know the twins sex the morning of the termination, so we could give them names and talk about them in advance as our time would be limited. I'd give anything to have had them born safely. Gender wouldn't have even been a consideration x

We weren't going to find out what we were having either. We didn't with DS. And at the anomaly scan I had askether to write it down for us to find out together later, never imagining the horror that was about to unfold. When I was in the quiet room by the MW after I just asked her to tell me so I knew. And like you, so we could name him and talk about him properly.

I feel so daft that a few weeks ago I was worrying that we live in a two bed house, and they wouldn't have their own rooms, and that little one might end up with more hand me downs and stuff. He really taught me so much in his short little life about what actually matters. And that's just being warm, fed, safe and loved. Same for your darling boys too. They were so loved.

I'm going to be interested to follow your BBTing. I'm sort of on a fact finding mission to see what's going on, there must be something going on. First things first for me is to try and drop a bit of weight, see if that might be a catalyst for my ovaries. And researching every vitamin that might help. I have zero appetite at the moment so it's more of a detox than a diet.

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise I'm a life long weight watcher. Binged so much when we lost the boys.

Will definitely update on BBT. @NoCallerID recommended a book earlier in the thread which I might invest in x
Weschler - taking charge of your fertility x

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise thanks, really hope it is our cycle as going back to doing opk’s and the TWW really is so shit.
It is a level of grief you hope to never experience so be gentle with yourself as it will just keep hitting you.

@CorkViaDublin it’s looking promising so keep testing x

@Kiki275 @mummabear40 @alexaplaywhitenoise
thanks you guys, i'll keep testing the two week wait is exhausting - i just want to know!!!

[quote Mummabear40]@CorkViaDublin ok yes, in my TWW 🙄 it’ll feel like forever as it always does. Just keeping everything crossed as really want to be pregnant before Christmas. Good luck with your wait xx[/quote]
I’m in my TWW again also. 9dpo of cycle 8 since my TFMR. Hoping to be pregnant again at xmas

My last 2 pregnancies I got BFP 5th dec and with Millie it was 5th Jan

I hope you get your BFP @Balajake, I want to be pregnant for Christmas too. I’m 3DPO on 4th cycle of trying since my TFMR and I’m so over trying!!

Fingers crossed xxxx

@Balajake @Mummabear40 how long do you wait to take a test - i'm 7 dpo - i think. and got that vvvvvv faint pos

[quote CorkViaDublin]**@Balajake* @Mummabear40* how long do you wait to take a test - i'm 7 dpo - i think. and got that vvvvvv faint pos[/quote]
I’ve taken tests since 7DPO
All negative but this afternoon I have gotten vvvfl on 2 cheapies. Will have to see what tomorrow brings at 10dpo

Mines much fainter than yours

@CorkViaDublin I don’t test early as got a very late positive with my first as my HCG rises slowly. It rose early with my TFMR baby due to his issues. So I only test the day of missed period.

@Balajake fingers crossed, sounds hopeful. x

7dpo I think now. But today’s one looks like this:

@CorkViaDublin that certainly looks promising 🤞🏻🤞🏻X

10dpo. No doubt about it now I’m definitely pregnant

Congratulations @Balajake really happy to see these photos. Definitely a positive! @CorkViaDublin certainly looks promising! Hope that line keeps getting darker for you.

Fingers crossed for all you other ladies in the TWW I know how many of you are wanting a pre Christmas positive xxx