Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC following a termination for abnormalities. Thread 7

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

I had my private scan and NIPT this morning and it went well. My dates were 10+6 and baby measuring 11+2 and looking very healthy. We got some great pictures of the little one. The lady scanning said the baby looked very healthy. There were no signs of NT fluid and the baby’s nose was very visible which were two of my main concerns. I do feel a lot of relief that the baby’s measurements were fine as my TFMR baby always measured behind a week.
Now for the long results wait.

That's lovely news @Mummabear40. The results you have so far will make the wait much more bearable I'm sure. Keeping everything crossed for you, how long will they take?x

@kiki275 yes it definitely makes the wait more bearable. If the baby had measured under I’d have been very anxious. But I feel a bit more at ease. 7-10 working days, she said likely 1st Feb. x

This is wonderful news @Mummabear40, I'm so happy for you. The absence of all those tell tale signs really are reassuring.
Hope the results come through quickly. xx

That’s reassuring @Mummabear40! My tfmr baby was also always behind, from the very beginning. There was no ambiguity around the conception date, so I didn’t understand how it was OK for the scans (private and NHS) to keep indicating a much later date. Sounds like everything is looking as it should for your little one, so fingers crossed all will be well going forward.

@SusanSue yes I was exactly the same, they kept saying I couldn’t have the dates right but there was zero ambiguity around our dates, I had tracked absolutely everything lol Here’s hoping this little one being on track size wise is a good sign.

@Dia12 thank you, I definitely do find it reassuring x

@Mummabear40 that’s great news!! My tfmr baby also measured smaller than what I thought it should be! It is great that there was no tell tale signs. Now you can also go into your 12 weeks scan feeling more relaxed.
How is everyone else getting on? I got UTI after TTC for the first time after tfmr 🙄!

Got my NIPT results and it's low risk for the three anomalies🙏☺️☺️!!
I had missed the call and so frantically called them back and my heart was pounding so loudly I felt like i was going to pass out. I couldn't believe my ears....I had psyched myself up so much to hear bad news.
I still can't believe it. And of course, the worry will just be about the next scan....ultimately will only relax when there is a baby here.
But so grateful to have got this far.

@Dia12 great news! You must be so relieved. Yes, I think I would feel the same like you and only relax when the baby is there !

Thank you @Alice40p 🤗

Glad you're back on the bandwagon so to speak. Things will settle down quickly. Hope you've managed to get some antibiotics for the uti. There's always something isn't there!!

Great news @Mummabear40 & @Dia12 xxxx

@Dia12 this is absolutely brilliant news, I’m so happy for you xx

Fabulous news @Dia12 and @Mummabear40 I’m so pleased for you both. Hope you can both relax a little now. Although totally agree I will only fully relax once baby is here safe in my arms xx

Thank you everyone. Hope it can continue in the same positive way. x

@Dia12 that's wonderful news!x

@Alice40p that sucks! I hope you're not suffering too much with it?x

I’m now on antibiotics and it is much better now, thanks. @kiki275 has your spotting stopped now?

Yes, cleared up quite quickly thanks.

January is genuinely feeling like the longest month ever. Will be so happy when I see the daffodils starting to appear. They were the flowers I chose for the boys funeral and we placed a few from the garden in with them. My mum adored daffs, I never understood it until now.x

Yes, I know what you mean. It must seem even longer if you are waiting for your 12 weeks scan!

Morning all,
I'm being hit with insomnia big time this pregnancy. Last night I was triggered by a conversation with my MIL about telling people at 12 weeks. I spent hours nearly in tears conjuring up every scenario that could go wrong at 20 weeks and having another tmfr.
Decided definitely no telling folk until 20 weeks and going to try a mindfulness app to sleep.
Hope you're all okay?x

@kiki275 I’m also playing out lots of scenarios in my mind, think it’s impossible not too after what we’ve been through.
I’m trying to remain positive though and will tell close friends and work if our NIPT comes back ok and our 12 week scan is ok. I wasn’t going to tell work but I’ve got so many appointments coming up and don’t want to use my holiday so will just tell my boss and no one else.

Sorry to hear about your anxieties @Kiki275 and @Mummabear40. I think it’s very understandable that you’ll be feeling this way. Although I am not yet pregnant again, we have pretty much decided to tell almost no one until after 20 week scan if not later. Exceptions will be a very small handful of friends/family who were the most supportive during our tfmr, and also my work, just so I can push back on any jobs or travel I don’t feel comfortable doing. I also figured that my work knew about my last pregnancy, so will likely be expecting it anyway this year.

Oh I'm sorry @Kiki275 - sleepless nights from anxiety are awful. I had the same on Friday and felt physically unwell on sat.
It's a really stressful time and I'm sure it will get easier as we get past the 20w scan.

I've been worrying about the 12w scan showing problems despite the NIPT showing low risk and also thinking of all that could go wrong at 20w scan.

We will tell a few close people who very supportive after 12w scan tomorrow. The rest will probably be told after 20w or even when I'm in final trimester!

Sending you hugs and thinking of you both @Mummabear40 @Kiki275

@kiki275 @Dia12 We are only telling very close friends after 12 week scan (if it’s ok) and my boss, everyone else including family will wait until we’re able to see them which will be after 20 weeks. I just don’t want to do it over the phone and also figure the longer I leave it the better!

Thanks ladies. At least I'm not alone in feeling like this.
I have no issues telling people who I'm close to. I've told a few people and my manager so far. It's the rest of them. Those that'll just have a good old gossip with anyone who'll listen but not make any effort to find out if I'm okay or not.
Or worse, those that haven't a clue what to say so "it'll be fine this time, it was just bad luck last time, you shouldn't be so pessimistic"...... F**k Off!!!
I have never been an anxious person but the worry of something happening and being judged from afar by people (again) who know only what they've been told is really stressing me out. I also think I'm overthinking xx

@Dia12 @kiki275 @Mummabear40 we didn’t tell anyone except our parents and my two best friends before 20 weeks. Even then I waited until 18 weeks to tell my two best friends. I think it’s completely understandable waiting for the 20 weeks scan. I can honestly say I have relaxed in the past week and started shopping! I hope you all start to relax soon but I know I didn’t for the first half of this pregnancy xxx