Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC following a termination for abnormalities. Thread 7

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

@Kiki275 yes with my first healthy baby. For 5 days. I even logged it as a light period in my planning app as I had a BFN with it. But turns out I was pregnant and found out a few weeks later when I felt like shit lol

Hi everyone,
It's Kiki but name changed as I've joined a thread for due in Aug 21. I've already failed at remembering to change it back.
I'm so worried that they'll search my story and it'll add to new mum anxiety. Maybe I'm just overthinking it, I hope I am x

@Alittlexmasmagic I don’t think people would search but understand why you are overthinking.

My bereavement midwife has been in touch and my early scan is now Christmas Eve! I’ll be 7 weeks. I’ve never had a scan this early but assume there isn’t much to see.

@Mummabear40 I've had Scans at 6+3 for both pregnancies that got that far - we saw a little peanut and heartbeat both times ❤️

@NoCallerID ah ok, thank you ☺️

Hello ladies,

Looking for some support, I had a TFMR 31/10/20 @ 15+1 weeks to our little girl who had T21 and heart and lung issues. I have been so lost and heartbroken since and I am feeling an overwhelming sense to be pregnant again - not to replace but to be able to find hope in such a lonely place.

My placenta was retained so I had surgery after my labour and bled for roughly 2 weeks after, I then got AF 2 weeks after that, but I have now had some light bleeding again almost 2 weeks after AF. I wanted to start TTC in January but now worried my body isn’t ready and scared of a miscarriage or other complications if we go to soon.

I am taking coQ10, but D and Folic Acid.

Any advice or stories from experience?

I'm sorry to hear what you have gone through @Bbf25010320. I think everyone here will be able to appreciate that overwhelming urge to find hope in what is definitely a very lonely place.
Your body and the bleeding will settle back into its normal cycle and I guess when it does, it's telling you it's ok to start trying again. There is no set medical advice about when to start TTC again, although I hear 3m a lot but there isn't any evidence to suggest falling pregnant sooner is going to be a less successful pregnancy.

I had a tfmr for t18 at 16w in august, bled for 5 weeks (had retained product and needed manual vacuum aspiration) then had 2 cycles and fell pregnant in 3rd cycle, just as I was emotionally and mentally getting back on my feet.

I'm only 6w today and worried every single day.
We are amazed I fell pregnant again as we have struggled with infertility and thought the last preg was a one off. Seems I can get pregnant just now hoping it's sticks and it's healthy.

So, there is always hope. Try and get back to happier place in your new norm...and have faith your body will give you a healthy baby.

@Kiki275 that’s brilliant I knew it was implantation
❤️

@NoCallerID I’ve been thinking of you slot recently and hope your ok

@CorkViaDublin looks like you are maybe 2/3 dpo now ? Hopefully this is your month too

So I have my booking in appointment on 28th Dec then my first scan on the 30th Dec. I’m probably gonna be ok till I walk in there

A lot *

@Bbf25010320 I'm so sorry you find yourself here. You're doing brilliantly just as you are. I don't know if it's coincidence but we finally got our BFP the very same month I started making my husband take multivitamins and cut down on his drinking a little (not a massive drinker anyway) so instead of one beer every evening he just had one at the weekends x

I think it takes longer to feel emotionally ready than physically your bleeding should settle down soon @Bbf25010320 your periods sometimes take a bit if time to regulate! I always waited til my due date passed and last time I'm glad j did as the due date was 10th Jan and I fell Pregnant on 1st cycle on 25th but still felt a bit unprepared! However i have a genetic condition with a 50% of being passed on the chance of having another baby with T21 is much lower than that - so you may feel ready before 6 months! Good luck xx

hi guys - can you help me to understand what's happening

So the apps told me i was due to ovulate tomorrow. I have been OPKing and BBT and i only had one day of high LH surge on CD12. I feel like maybe i haven't ovulated this cycle as i haven't felt that sharp pop i usually feel when i ovulate. we have been DTD frequently so i'm not thinking we have missed it - but i dont think i've caught anything. My BBT is unreliable. it seems to be up now but i dont trust the readings as my sleep is unsettled,

can anyone interpret these pictures and see what they make of it - i hate the TWW

@CorkViaDublin can you take a screenshot of the chart please?
I do think you ovulated on the 13th looking at that but the BBT would help confirm it x

I'd agree the LH values are indicating you ovulated around cd 12/13. It really depends on how long your body takes to release the egg after the LH surge.
They also say that an LH surge doesn't always mean that an egg is released, however, since your bbt has been increasing steadily too, both point towards ovulation around 12/13.

Hey @Alittlexmasmagic
Here’s the screenshot. The 13th seems very early - from my pre miscarriage cycles. And I don’t think I actually ovulated but that’s just speculation
I don’t feel pregnant at all

@CorkViaDublin your body has been through a lot, it may not spring straight back into it's pretty miscarriage cycles. Mine didn't even after 9 months. Keep on with your OPKs and BBT to get a good idea of pattern.
If another cycle is needed, try doing two tests a day. Good luck though, your TWW has just become a lot shorter xx

Thanks @Alittlexmasmagic @Redhead43 @Mummabear40 and @Dia12 for sharing your length of bleeding. I passed some tissues but the assessment unit seem to think that is normal! I am hoping the bleeding will stop before Christmas and AF will be on her way soon. Never thought I will be wishing so much for these things!
@Bbf25010320 Really sorry to hear you are going through this dreadful situation too. I’m planning to TTC after 2 cycles. I’m taking multivitamins and trying to loose some weight so that my body is in a better place.

Just out of curiosity, I was wondering if any of you who had tfmr for T18 had any spotting. I had some spotting around 9/10 weeks which at that time the doctors and midwives thought was normal. After I had the diagnosis, one registrar suggested my spotting could be because of low hcg and PAAPA which is common with T18. The others seem to think it was unrelated. Wondering if anyone else had this experience?

@Bbf25010320 I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl, I think we can all relate to the overwhelming need to be pregnant again. I think it took my body a couple of cycles to settle down after losing my baby at 19 weeks, and I was fortunate enough to fall pregnant on the third. Wishing you the best of luck ttc again x

@CorkViaDublin I'm no expert but I think the ladies are right, I'd say around CD12/13.. the TWW is horrible, my fingers are crossed for you x

@Alice40p I don't have any experience with t18, but hope your bleeding settles down soon. I think my AF returned around 6 weeks after my tfmr x

This week the first anniversary passed, it was hard but fortunately the baby didn't arrive on the same day which I was worried about. We visited Lola's grave and left her some Christmassy flowers and rainbow windmills.

I'm 40 + 2 today and no sign of baby, had a sweep yesterday and cervix is soft and 1-2cm dilated so hoping things progress soon.

Hope all of you ladies are doing ok this week xx

@1stbabs Hope you have your delivery soon. 1st anniversary must be really hard. Are you having a boy or a girl? Have you got anything Christmassy for your baby?

@Alice40p we're having a little boy this time, and yes my MIL has got him a little Christmas outfit to wear ☺️ Hoping he arrives soon to get in it! x

Glad you were able to get through the first anniversary and did something nice for your angel baby @1stbabs. My due date is exactly the same day as my tfmr 😳 but for now, trying not to think so far ahead.
Keeping everything crossed for a quick and easy delivery.....excited for you. X

My baby has T18 and I didn't have any spotting at all. My hcg/pappA were not radically out of range but enough to be flagged as high risk. Tbh I didn't really get much of an explanation of what those results meant.
The only thing I can pick on is the fact that baby dated a week behind at 7w and stayed that way throughout. I was told at the time that it doesn't mean much as ovulation/conception can vary but I had charts and apps monitoring my cycle and a rather uneventful sex life meant that I had a feeling something wasn't right.
I could still be wrong, who knows, much of it the doctors can't even explain.

@Dia12 my TFMR baby was measuring behind at my 8week scan too, the lady said it probably wasn’t anything to worry about and that dates we’re probably a bit off. But like you I had an app and was tracking everything so I new I didn’t have my dates wrong.
I remember googling like mad for weeks after whether something was likely wrong.
Then at our 12 week scan he measured fine but I remember googling after about not able to see his nose. I talked myself into it being the angle of his head. But it turns out he didn’t have a nasal bone which is a sign of T21, which you’d think they would of mentioned but they didn’t.
Looking back there were the odd tell tale signs as the pregnancy didn’t also feel ‘right’ but I still could never have imagined what did happen.

@Bbf25010320 I'm so sorry, but had to comment after seeing you mention your bleeding. I had a TFMR at 21 weeks on 24/09/20, had a retained placenta and surgery to remove.

I had a few weeks bleeding straight afterwards, then a few days break, and at the end of October it started again... and didn't stop. Turns out I had some retained material left from the placenta removal, which was causing the bleeding and making me feel frankly horrible. I mentioned it to various midwives, obstetricians and GPs who all were fairly dismissive (obstetrician actually signed me off to TTC again!), and I was eventually taken into hospital on Monday this week, and had surgery on Wednesday to remove it.

Its early days, but if it doesn't ease off, PLEASE push your GP or speak to the bereavement midwife about having an ultrasound to check that everything is clear. I felt really, really rotten, made worse by nobody really taking it very seriously. Felt instantly more human after the operation, weirdly so, made me realise how drained and spiced I had been for weeks.

Sounds awful @SlipperTripper. Time and time again I hear/read the words "they didn't take me seriously". It honestly makes me blow a fuse at the recklessness in the nhs with regards to women in these circumstances, and all it really takes is a simple scan post procedure. Why don't they just scan everyone as standard? They would save themselves a lot of time and save women a lot of trauma and misery.
I would second your advice to get checked out sooner rather than later and you have to seem pushy.

I feel you @Mummabear40 - the endless googling. It's just awful that they couldn't give you any clarity about the nasal bone. Do you think you will get scanned by a fetal medicine consultant this time rather than a sonographer? I'm going to request this but unsure if it will be approved.
I didn't have many pregnancy symptoms to be honest and scans looked ok until the NT measurement was taken and it was at the upper limit at 2.5 and I began to think something serious might be wrong. And now I also know the dates being behind was also a sign.
This time, I don't seem to have many symptoms again......so far it's similar to the last 😳 don't know if that's something to worry about or not.

@Dia12 and @Mummabear40 My TFMR baby also was almost a week behind which I was a bit puzzling. The midwife didn’t seem to think too much about it. Yes, I googled all night too ! I had a miscarriage earlier this year and I was checking my pants every time I went to the loo. When I started spotting, I kind of lost hope a bit but the doctors and the midwives assured me that was completely normal ! I even had a scan at what I thought was 11 weeks but was actually 10 weeks at EPU and they just said everything is fine with the baby. It was only when I had the scan at 11 weeks and 5 days did they notice the high NT. @Dia12, I thought NT upto 3.5 is normal. That’s what the sonographer said.
@SlipperTripper That is horrendous!! Can’t believe they just let you bleed for so long! They knew I didn’t pass enough material and they did a scan for me and found no clots in uterus but just clots in vagina. They tried to take them with forsceps but I had quite heavy bleeding with huge clots whilst I was at the hospital. When I called them about passing tissues the other day, they were very dismissive. The bleeding seems to be reducing now, so hopefully that is a good sign! It has only been 2 weeks and a bit after tfmr. I still feel tired though!
The worst bit is I can’t sleep at night and I get nightmares about not having a healthy baby!
Did any of you do a pregnancy test after certain weeks after tfmr to check if everything is back to normal?