Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC following a termination for abnormalities. Thread 7

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

@balajake I feel the same. I feel like I might not be unlucky enough to have the same trimosy but it will probably be another.

It’s hard not to feel this way I guess

Some of you seem to have really helpful midwives and/or FMUs.
I called my bereavement midwife on the day I got my positive. She was lovely but kind of just listened and said she'd let FMU know....and that was that really. Feel really unsupported.
I may well be extra sensitive due to the awful experience we've previously the women's hospital but just dreading having to go back there.

Glad your feeling confident and happy with your plan for giving birth @1stbabs .....two weeks will whizz by. Will be a special Christmas for you this year xx

I really do hope that with some time we can all regain even a little of that innocent joy of pregnancy.
🤞🏼for us all.

@Dia12 was there anyone supportive of you at the time in an official capacity? Could be your GP etc.x

There was a nice midwife who was helpful, perhaps I can touch base with her. GP is useless, I called them to let them know and they have said to call back when I'm 6w! All they need to do is pass me over to the midwife team.

Thank you @Dia12 .. was there a midwife in the FMU that was supportive before? Hopefully once your bereavement midwife lets them know, they'll get in contact with you and get a plan in place for you x

I'll perhaps wait till next Monday and give them a call then....I know there really isn't anything to be done until I'm 6w plus anyway.
I turn 41 on Saturday 🙈 not much to do but tbh I'm happy having a quiet one.

@Dia12 congratulations on your pregnancy. Could you book your book in appointment with midwife and ask her to refer you to FMU for additional scans or perhaps you could contact FMU directly? I can imagine how anxious you must be feeling. I have everything crossed for you!

Have my booking in appointment on the 31st when I’ll be 8 weeks. Pretty nervous now

Genuinely don't know what's worse:
Covid Symptom spotting
TTC symptom spotting
8DPO and isolation day 4 x

@Balajake I’m nervous too so completely understand. I’m questioning everything.

@Kiki275 all sound as bad as each other! Fingers crossed on no AF for you.

She asked a lot of questions on the phone. Nearly cried when I had to tell her about the Termination.

@Balajake mine too, I then had to explain it again to the community team when they called me back. I think this is going to be a reoccurring thing 😭

[quote Mummabear40]@Balajake mine too, I then had to explain it again to the community team when they called me back. I think this is going to be a reoccurring thing 😭[/quote]
When they ask how many pregnancies and how many live births 😔 I feel like saying I have 5 babies not 4. Just one up in heaven. This will be my 6th in my head but they don’t really count it

@Balajake yep, the worst question ever when you’ve been through what we’ve been through 😢

I think my period is about to make an early appearance. Just had really dark brown spotting which usually means she's imminent. Took me by surprise as my BBT was still high this morning. Will see what tomorrow brings 😢 x

@Kiki275 I'm sorry it's not looking hopeful but I still have everything crossed for you xx

I've had a tough time with midwives/doctors referring to this as my first baby. It has really got me down sometimes so I know how you're all feeling x

@Kiki275 so sorry hun x it’s hard TTC after a loss. I had 8 months of negatives and it’s just a hopeless feeling. I hope it happens soon for you xx

@Kiki275 sorry it’s not looking hopeful but your bbt still being high is a good sign AF isn’t quite due so keeping fingers crossed it doesn’t appear. xx

No further sign of AF. BBT has dropped 0.3 this morning. Now I'm hoping implantation rather than AF. It just messes with your mind so much, if AF does arrive at the weekend I'll be twice as upset as if it just arrived on schedule with no maybes x

Keeping fingers crossed for you @Kiki275 ...brown spotting at 8dpo is a good sign.
I wouldn't worry too much about BBT, I've learnt not to take it too seriously after my BFP came after the lowest BBTs I've ever had.

It really is a head-fudge....no matter how hard you try to "relax" and not think about it, you still do.
Sending you a hug x

8dpo is mega early unless you have short cycles ? A dip is an indication of implantation and brown blood is old blood. If you get a rise tomorrow I’d be tempted to test with a cheap sensitive. I got a vvfl at 9dpo

@Kiki275, @Mummabear40 had a Dip too and that was implantation. I’m hoping this is a good sign for you too xx

@Balajake my luteal phase has been anything from 8 to 12 days since I lost the boys, they're just not levelling out. Been OPKing for I think 4 cycles now, first time BBTing. The old brown blood thing has really confused me as that's only started since the boys too. Always start AF with really old dregs x
I'll be 10 DPO tomorrow and have a clear blue early test in the cupboard. Can't go get one as still isolating. Keeping everything crossed x

Oh wow you guys! Massive congrats on the BFPs!!

@Kiki275 fingers crossed AF stays away. 🤞🏼

Sorry I've disappeared for a while, had to get my head around a few things....

I've had my latest appointment with Prof Quenby last week and my bloods have come back 'perfect' so the next step is the CERM trial as it's the only way I'll be able to get the biopsy done. Thankfully I've had a positive OPK today so managed to actually book the biopsy for Monday in a week. It feels weird knowing that I'm about to ovulate but avoiding pregnancy for the time being. It's also been a year this week that we conceived our TFMR baby. And Christmas morning was when I told my husband.... Guess there'll be a lot of anniversaries coming up now.