Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC following a termination for abnormalities. Thread 7

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

I have no advice daley but I'm sorry you find yourself here and will keep everything crossed for you

@Daleyrb -hope you get the results quickly and they give you peace of mind xxx

@Daleyrb we will all have our fingers crossed for you. Hope the results don't take too long x

Congrats @mummabear40

@balajake this time for me the first response were useless. I'm sure they've changed them or a dodgy batch as I went from a positive to negative to positive

@mrsof20118

Congrats *@mummabear40*

@balajake this time for me the first response were useless. I'm sure they've changed them or a dodgy batch as I went from a positive to negative to positive

I’m starting to see much darker lines now. I just did these . It seems my HCG is useless in FMU and stronger in the evening. These are the darkest they’ve been so I’m pretty certain it’s real and it’s happening

That's great to see your hpts looking darker @Balajake....it's so reassuring seeing the dark lines!
How are you feeling otherwise?
How are you getting on @Mummabear40?

I have absolutely no symptoms other than a lot of (sometimes sharp) cramping, far more than last time. DH seems to think it's because I'm more tuned it but I just feel worried and keep expecting period to arrive.

@Balajake that’s fab, it’s definitely real and happening.

@Dia12 I feel fine which is making me worry. All my aches and breast pain has gone. I looked back through my fertility app with my first healthy baby and most of my symptoms happened at 5 & 6 weeks so I’m hoping they’ll kick in again soon and stop me from worrying. x

@Dia12

That's great to see your hpts looking darker *@Balajake*....it's so reassuring seeing the dark lines! How are you feeling otherwise? How are you getting on *@Mummabear40*?

I have absolutely no symptoms other than a lot of (sometimes sharp) cramping, far more than last time. DH seems to think it's because I'm more tuned it but I just feel worried and keep expecting period to arrive.

Definitely feel pregnant. Feels like I have a golf ball in my uterus and a little pressure down there

Hi,
I too recently had tmfr at 13 weeks due to chromosome abnormality. I’m absolutely heart broken as I had a miscarriage earlier this year. It is encouraging to read your success stories and was wondering if I could join your thread too. I would like to TTC as soon as I can but I’m still bleeding after tmfr (it has not even been a week!)

Congratulations @Balajake and @Mummabear40. I’m 40 too and am wondering if there is any hope for me!

@Alice40p there is hope, I really didn’t think there was at my age but there is. So sorry you find yourself here.

@Dia12 my stomach twinges returned last night and I woke in the night for the loo and had terrible insomnia again.

Twinges are good @Mummabear40 - did it out your mind at rest? Looking back to my preg earlier this year I'm sure I had hardly any twinges/cramps. This time loads. You worry either way really. And time seems to move so slowly, it's been a very long week or so since I found out.
The worry must be causing your insomnia. I didn't sleep much at all last week and only in the past few days have I been getting some solid 6hr sleep.
Have you tired any meditation? I followed a breathing exercise on YouTube and it helped.

I'm 40 too @Alice40p and have gone through the same as you. It's gut wrenching but there is always hope. Don't let the doctors and data get into your head....concentrate on getting your body and mind back to a healthy place. You've gone through a lot and it's not easy but you'll get there.

@Dia12 yeah the twinges and aches are definitely reassuring as are the middle of the night wees lol my friend who is into alternative therapy has done me an essential oil mix for sleep and relaxation so hoping this helps. I need to get out of my head as when I look back on my TFMR pregnancy, I felt really early on that something didn’t feel right but didn’t know why. This time around feels more like my first

Hi everyone - I posted in the last thread about my previous twin pregnancy, which ended in termination of one twin due to brain abnormality.

I am seeing the geneticist on Wednesday. I will be 12 weeks and 3 days. It will be my first appointment as I moved areas and it took ages for the clogs in the system to turn. I already feel much further along than I would have liked to have been, in terms of making hard decisions :(

To add to the stress - I went for a private scan last week and discovered it is another twin pregnancy. I am beside myself with fear and anxiety. I know no one can tell me what to do but I am so so scared of losing both babies by having an amnio (I had one last time as it was obvious my sons brain was not normal) but also, in one (or both!?) of them having the condition again. I can't sleep and I feel quite sick all the time. How do people cope? Should I speak to my doctor about medication?

@Alice40p I'm very sorry you find yourself here, there have been lots of rainbow pregnancies on this thread so there's definitely hope xx

@hardyboys I'm so sorry you're having such a stressful time. I don't have any experience re amino as my daughter had severe spina bifida which is seen on a scan. I can only imagine how difficult it is to make the decision. Will the geneticist be able to tell you your chances of one of your babies having the same condition? That might sway your decision? I definitely think you should speak to your doctor if your sickness is bad too, you don't need that on top of all the worry. I'm almost 39 weeks now with a healthy baby, but before I got the all clear at 16 weeks, I just kept telling myself that every pregnancy is different, and that the odds were in my favour. It was a horribly stressful time so I completely understand how you are feeling. Sending lots of love 💕

@hardyboys also I know it's not for everyone, but I've had counselling all the way through this pregnancy and it has really helped me. I don't know if this is something you've tried already or are interested in x

@hardyboys I am so sorry you are going through this. I lost twins myself and am dreading another twin pregnancy. Have they identified what kind of twins they are? I'd personally ring every single contact you have at the FMU or maternity unit you were under previously. They can contact your current unit and get things moving quickly. Get your official 12 week anomaly scan done ASAP and also an appointment with the consultant on the same day if possible. They should then be able to advise medication etc.
Pull every string possible and make sure everyone knows your history.
Massive hugs from me in the meantime xx

@1stbabs thank you. The condition he was diagnosed with is extremely rare but considered to be autosomal recessive - so I believe that is generally considered to be a 1 in 4 chance of it happening again. It is usually picked up after birth, as the damage to the brain tends to get worse as they grow but in my sons case, it was apparent early on.

Frustratingly, the genetic testing last time came back pretty inconclusive in terms of finding the specific gene that had caused the issue, as far as I can remember. The greatest diagnostic tool imo was scans- which showed even at 16w a severe malformation in his cerebellum. Official diagnosis was made at 32w after an MRI. So, I am assuming I will definitely have specialist brain scans. I am just concerned if I don't have the testing again, it will be a less severe case that progresses after birth, as tends to be the norm in his condition.

I had counselling after the twins'.birth, which I found helpful. I will ask on Wednesday if there is anyone I can speak to, who can break it all down for me. Right now I am just catastrophising I think. I just feel like this weird human incubator and I can't allow myself to get excited. I am sure everyone here can relate to that feeling though xxx

@kik275. They are DC/DA again. My last FMU have been really helpful but they said due to privacy concerns they can't send anything over until my new unit requests it. I have rung twice to ask them to get my files before my appointment on Wednesday but they kept saying I wasn't on the system (hadn't had my booking in appt). I will try again today. I assume they can send them electronically?

@kiki275 my official scan is Wednesday. It seems like I'll have the scan and then see the geneticist.

@hardyboys totally understand you wanting the certainty of the amnio in that case. Do you think the geneticist or your consultant (once they've allocated you one) will be able to tell you how likely the condition is to be missed on a brain scan? I know you said the condition is usually not picked up until after birth, but does the fact that they will be looking specifically for markers of this condition mean it's more likely to be picked up or ruled out in your case? Definitely can relate to the incubator feeling too, it took me ages to get excited too x

@hardyboys I'm assuming so, yes. My files were sent to another area ahead of surgery. I'm not sure about paper copies but there'll be a wealth of info enough on electronic.
DCDA is good! That reduces the risk of both being affected at least as they aren't carbon copies of each other. Plus, no TTTS to worry about either (from a personal point of view). I'm pleased your scan is imminent and you get to see a geneticist then too. Make sure the MW is aware of the situation, then they can arrange MH support for you too if needed xx

@1stbabs. I will definitely ask about the likelihood of it being missed. Really helpful question actually - I will write that down.

@kik275 I just rang my new FMU and spoke to a absolutely lovely midwife who has assured me she will speak to my geneticist and check on the files. So, that's really reassured me.

Xx

@hardyboys fab news!! Given your history and the fact you're having multiples, make sure you get a dedicated MW and you see the same one each time. Be demanding.xx

alice I'm sorry you find yourself here. I'm also new but this thread is like a hug and I feel really fortunate to have found the ladies here. There is such a wealth of knowledge, information, compassion and kindness .

Mumma and dia definitely twinges are good. And weeing all night. Even the insomnia. I had bad insomnia with both my boys.

Hardyboys I'm so sorry they weren't getting things done for you, I'm.glaf you've managed to chase it up and get some progress. It must be so stressful. I will keep all my fingers crossed for you.

1stbabs and balajake how are you feeling?

Kiki how are you?

Its all feeling a bit surreal this week, feels like I dreamed my tiny boy. I went to collect his ashes today and brought him home. I've stopped bleeding and my stomach has gone down. I think it's starting to hit my DH properly now too, the loss. He's been so strong for me and now needs the TLC.