Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC following a termination for abnormalities. Thread 7

[Kiki275]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope.

Congratulations @Mummabear40 xx

@Dia12 yes I think all of us here will struggle in subsequent pregnancies, but as you say we still have so much to be happy for.

It's a weird feeling isn't it, with the tfmr dates so close - well the same in your case! I suppose we could see it as a blessing from our little angel babies? I'm not religious or anything but I guess everything happens for a reason x

Thanks @MummyBearBoo I just cannot believe it xx

I really struggled initially I was happy and petrified at the same time even when then CVS came back (with 50% chance of it not being ok this was the biggest obstacle) I was still really nervous that something would be wrong or go wrong! But it does get easier especially when you get past the 24 weeks viability date! Xx

mummabear and dia CONGRATULATIONS!! that is such lovely news! But I know what you mean about the fear, you must be feeling so up and down. But for now, happy thoughts and fingers crossed.

Cork will they continue to test your HCG levels? Absolutely all my fingers crossed for your next cycle.

Kiki I definitely think we've been shafted in GM. Extra restrictions and now no end in sight for tier 3. I was under St Mary's. Louie should have been born there by c-section next March (my DS1 was a section there). Had my scans at Lanceburn but they told me about the rainbow clinic and said if I did get pregnant again then I'd be under FMU there too now. The idea of getting as far as delivery unit and going right rather than left feels so far away at the moment.

@1stbabs

Hi ladies, I've been away for a while so just catching up with the thread. So happy to hear that *@Dia12 and @Balajake* have got their bfps. Massive congratulations to you both x

I'm so sorry for the very recent loss of your baby @AlexaPlayWhiteNoise .. and I'm sorry people have been so insensitive. I had similar comments about antidepressants from my boss on multiple occasions. Sending hugs to you x

@Mummabear40 my fingers are crossed for you x

I'm 37+5 and just want the baby here safe and sound. He is due on the 16th, and we lost our little Lola last year on the 15th. These last couple of weeks are going to be tough I think.

Thats so hard 1stbabs, the dates being so close together. I am religious so I think I'd definetly see your boy as a gift from your angel Lola. Doesn't make it any easier though. Will be thinking of you. Are you all set and ready?

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise I'm Bolton so we've had it worse still. It's a little surreal that we could have been sat in the same seat at the same FMU, staring in hope at the same screen. I delivered my babies at my local hospital though.x

@AlexaPlayWhiteNoise ah thank you, that made me smile. Yep we're all ready for him, hoping he might make an early appearance! x

I take comfort in some of the coincidences. DS was born 31/08 and the twins 18/03. Just a random rearrangement of 4 numbers but it means a lot.

@1stbabs so exciting, what a wonderful Xmas you'll have to see out the end of an awful year xx

Thank you @Kiki275 .. I'm glad you find the numbers comforting. Hoping you get your bfp soon too xx

Hi ladies,
Wanted to say so sorry for losses.
I have been there too.
And congrats on all new pregnancies.
I am after some knowledge of wisdom it would be greatly appreciated.
So i had a tfmr in july baby girl had Downs it was the hardest decision in my life and i was so distraught.. i had a medical procedure afterwards i bled for 9 weeks during that time i contacted the docs who eventually sent me for a scan to confirm i had retained tissue i was so angry and sad. They dis another procedure i bled for 4 days my period returned 4 weeks later.we casually started ttc no rush just go with the flow, i was a day late did a test negative, 3 days late postive test! I am 37 so my odds are high anyway of having abnormalities. This is what my questions and my nerves come in...
So ive had a scan at 9 weeks plus 4 they said measurements are 9 weeks gestation.
Now they've put to me the screening options in my county you have to pay 250 for NIPT i currently dont have that cash due to xmas. I could possibly borrow. They jave put me for scan and screening at 11weeks but the consultant has said my numbers will be high anyway due to previous pregnancy and age. So think he was pointing to the bloods as they may do a cvs anyway due to numbers. I just dont know what to do. Do i leaam ve it? Do i have a cvs? What did you ladies do? I am hoping this baby is okay but i am also thinking i dont know if i can go through that hell again. Thank you

@Daleyrb sorry you find yourself in this position but congratulations!
My situation is different but I'm only a little younger and we'd also struggle to pay that amount. The NIPT as far as I'm aware is not diagnostic so you'd need a CVS to confirm. Would you trust the combined screening & NIPT results if they did both come back negative? Or would you still need the CVS for peace of mind?x

Hi thank you for your swift response. I had a CVS before no issues but this time around i want to avoid i don't know why? Denial and miscarriage risks i guess.
I was hoping i could have the normal 12 week scan which would put me at ease but they are saying my numbers will be high anyway. I just don't know what to do. So close to christmas as well.

@Daleyrb in that case, I'd be tempted to cross that bridge when I get to it. Enjoy your Christmas, being pregnant and reassess in the new year. Hopefully your consultant will have a breakdown of the results and you can discuss CvS then. I totally understand this might not be easy to do though xx

@Daleyrb I am in a similar situation. We had to terminate our last pregnancy as our baby had severe hydrops caused by T21 and could not survive. So I am also very nervous.
We are opting for the NIPT as there is no point having the NHS screening as I’m 40 so will already get a very high risk. The NIPT can be done at 10 weeks also rather than waiting until 14 weeks for cvs.
I know NIPT is not diagnostic but for me it is good enough as it detects the majority of cases. It has also been right with both of our pregnancies as we got 1:10000 chance with our first born who was fine and 99% certain chance of T21 with our second who did have this. For me this is enough but only you can decide what is right for you. x

Hi thank you. Yes consultant said yhey can discuss when they do the 2nd scan. Think he was basically saying if you have the bloods done then you know something is wrong if it comes back positive. And its quicker than the cvs although the cvs is diagnostic. I'm sure itll come to light or as clear as mud soon enough. Thank you for your inputs. Ill keep posted if that is okay 👌 🙂

That’s right yes, as it basically comes back 99% positive for something being wrong, then amnio or cvs confirms it and any other issues.
We didn’t need to go on and have either with our angel baby as once we got the bad NIPT result the NHS took us in for an extra scan and he was surrounded with fluid by that point.
You’ll figure out your path, just digest the info given as it is overwhelming.

CVS is usually done at 11 weeks not 14 (I've had it done 4 times due to a genetic condition) after week 13 they usually do an Amnio but this is usually done around 16 weeks!
CVS would be more conclusive but they may be able to tell you the risk of T21 from the nuchal translucency (the space at the back of the neck) at the 12 week scan tho it doesn't always indicate either way!
Just a word of warning this might just be my experience tho I have heard other people mention it too my first CVS was fine but the subsequent ones the cramps were worse and it made me sick it passed after 24 hours tho! Xx

Think they're behind atm so it's probably not the same but my first TFMR and 2nd CVS the T21 result came back the next day xx

@MummyBearBoo that’s interesting to know as my hospital have said cvs isn’t until 14 weeks and amnio at 15.
I personally wouldn’t trust the NT scan measurement as our angel baby’s fluid was measuring within healthy limits at 12 weeks. My that’s just my personal experience. x

Hi thank you all for your replies.
I have scraped together and have emailed to ask for the blood test. It will either be a yes or a no. And i should know in a few weeks. Ill keep you posted.

@Daleyrb hope everything happens quickly so you get peace of mind before Xmas x

@Daleyrb I hope you get peace of mind. Please let us know how you get on x

Im hoping and praying.
They changed my dates yesterday and i realised the baby is due on my birthday what are the chances! It would also definitely be that day as i will have a section due to my others.
Thank you for understanding it means a lot

@Daleyrb do they not do electives earlier at 38/39 weeks to reduce the chance of spontaneous labour? Either way, what a truly wonderful birthday gift xx