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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2020 10:15

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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Mummabear40 · 13/09/2020 18:06

Thanks @Kiki275 and @Redhead43 it sucks when you know it’s coming and you just have to wait :-(

Mummabear40 · 14/09/2020 07:40

AF arrived this morning right on schedule and I wasn’t prepared for just how bad it was going to make me feel, I’m so gutted.

We also have the funeral on Friday this week for our little boy so I’m already feeling hormonal and emotional.

I so wanted to be pregnant again 😭😭😭

Treaclepie19 · 14/09/2020 08:08

Oh @Mummabear40 😔 It's shit how that happens. I had my period when it wss our little boys funeral too and I remember how frustrated I was with my body.
Lots of love to you Flowers

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Kiki275 · 14/09/2020 10:23

@Mummabear40 it's an awful feeling. I remember the actual need to be pregnant so much. I'm nearly 6 months post tmfr now and I can remember clearly what I was doing this day 6 months ago (waiting time be discharged post TTTS surgery from BWH), since then the funerals and due dates have passed. I can't and won't speak for anyone else but IME the need I have to be pregnant now comes from a completely different place than the need I had even 3/4 months ago. Back then I needed to be pregnant to fill a void in my broken heart, whereas now I need to complete my family if that makes sense? Please be kind to yourself, you're going through so much and every emotion is fighting for attention. Take one day at a time but please don't be putting any blame or pressure on yourself for not falling pregnant straight away x

Mummabear40 · 14/09/2020 10:51

Thanks @Treaclepie19 it really is shit and to have the funeral to deal with too just makes it so much worse.

@Kiki275 thank you. Yeah I feel the need to complete our family too as well as fill the void of suddenly not being pregnant.
All of my close friends have just had babies, including my next door neighbour and the fact that they all still have maternity leave together and I’m no longer pregnant is like a kick in the gut. I just wanted to fall straight away 😩

1stbabs · 14/09/2020 11:01

@Mummabear40 I'm so sorry. That need to be pregnant was overwhelming for me in the early weeks too. We will all be thinking of you on Friday when you lay your little boy to rest Thanks xxx

Redhead43 · 14/09/2020 19:25

@Mummabear40 I really empathise with your pain and frustration. Same as you I had my first period the week of our little boys funeral it’s an extra kick in the teeth and far too many hormones for such an already emotional time. I really hope this week passes by gently for you. Thinking of you lots xxx

Kiki275 · 15/09/2020 08:22

Morning everyone,
I should be in the TWW but not entirely convinced I've ovulated yet, or if I did it was quite early. Not had any EWCM so not a clue what's going on. X

Mummabear40 · 15/09/2020 09:47

Thanks @1stbabs and @Redhead43 I’ve thrown myself into exercising as I’m so damn moody and fed up, I needed to do something to do.

@Kiki275 I didn’t have any EWCM this cycle either but my bbt did rise in line with ovulation, it’s very stressful being back trying isn’t it.

Mummabear40 · 15/09/2020 13:52

Has anyone had a weird bleed instead of a proper period? I had my first period post TFMR last month and it was normal. My next period started yesterday but it’s not like usual and I don’t need to use anything and didn’t bleed in the night. Sorry for TMI but it’s basically only there when I wipe 🤨

Kiki275 · 15/09/2020 16:13

@Mummabear40 yes and no. My whole flow changed in that it was back to front. Brown spotting to start ending in bright red heavyish flow, which just stops.

otterbaby · 16/09/2020 09:01

Has anyone seen that ARC, Petals and Tommy's have started an online campaign for TFMR recognition? I never knew that there were roughly 5,000 per year in the UK...I felt so alone when I went through it. I'm glad they're bringing some attention to it.

Treaclepie19 · 16/09/2020 09:34

@otterbaby yes! I reposted it on my blog yesterday. Such an amazing thing. I'd not even heard of Petals!

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Redhead43 · 16/09/2020 11:40

@otterbaby this is such a positive move. ARC helped me so much and still does!

Hope everyone is doing okay xxx

otterbaby · 16/09/2020 11:54

@Treaclepie19 I hadn't either! I wasn't sure if one of the stories was yours, it was a woman who already had a little boy and had lost her other little boy named Jesse x

@Redhead43 I know, it's so encouraging. ARC was my lifeline when I was in the aftermath. It's amazing how much a strong support group can help.

Treaclepie19 · 16/09/2020 12:04

@otterbaby not me this time! I do follow her though on Insta.
I should probably offer to share my story really.

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Kiki275 · 16/09/2020 17:34

TMI but just had a big string on EWCM when I went to the loo. Not a clue what's happening but looks like DH is going to get called to action again.
It's my wedding anniversary today. My toddler has developed a cough, so kept him off nursery. No WiFi so can't WFH. Been for a Covid test whilst DH has been at work all day. Just hoping we get the result quickly and it's systems as normal tomorrow x

1stbabs · 16/09/2020 22:53

@otterbaby yes I saw the campaign too! So glad to see TFMR recognised as a loss just as any other type.

@Kiki275 Hope you managed to dtd and enjoy your anniversary! Fingers crossed for a negative test for your son too 🤞🏽 xx

Redhead43 · 17/09/2020 20:52

Awww Happy Anniversary @Kiki275 hope you DTD to celebrate! Hope your little boy feels better and gets a negative test result back asap xx

otterbaby · 17/09/2020 21:41

@Mummabear40 sending you lots of strength for tomorrow x

Mummabear40 · 17/09/2020 21:51

Thank you @otterbaby I need it. xx

Kiki275 · 18/09/2020 07:37

@Mummabear40 thinking of you today. Hope you've not many awful lockdown rules preventing the goodbye you need.

@Redhead43 got the negative just in time 🥳. Didn't DTD to celebrate as we're both too tired to bother. Did get a quick "donation" at lunchtime just in case I did ovulate late. Romance is well and truly dead 😂.

1stbabs · 18/09/2020 08:38

@Mummabear40 thinking of you today ❤️

Treaclepie19 · 18/09/2020 08:40

Thinking of you @Mummabear40 Flowers

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Redhead43 · 18/09/2020 10:04

Thinking of you today @Mummabear40 hope the day passes smoothly. Sending lots of love xxx

@Kiki275 glad he’s got a negative result! Hope that was the lucky donation you need for this month 😉 xx