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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2020 10:15

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

OP posts:
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Mummabear40 · 09/09/2020 10:56

Sorry to hear that @Redhead43 It’s so disappointing isn’t it. I’m in the dreaded TWW too. x

Redhead43 · 09/09/2020 11:08

Thanks @Kiki275 you’re right and a good way to look at it that my fertile window is a day closer. Good luck @Mummabear40 TWW is so hard sending lots of positive vibes xxx

MummyBearBoo · 10/09/2020 06:30

Hey ladies hope you're all doing ok!!

Had my final scan Tuesday baby is heavier than DD when she was born (DD was born at 38w+4 days and at my scan I was 35 weeks)
My bump is still measuring big but baby is average they say she'll weight 8.5lbs ish when she is due to be born which will be at 38w + 6 days (5th October) which is when I'm booked in for my induction unless like DD she comes early!!

She's awake already sticking her feet out of my tummy and wriggling!

Managed to get a 3D pic of her face though she's squashed up as she's head down so she looks like she's had lip fillers and her nose is pressed against my womb wall so it looks really wide 😂!!

She also looks totally pissed off -her eyes are closed so I guess the scan was one of the few times she was actually asleep!! Xx

NoCallerID · 10/09/2020 13:39

Ahhh @Redhead43 I'm so sorry.

I'm due tomorrow and have tested BFN on a FRER today (12dpo). I can feel AF is on her way. I'd gotten my hopes up for this cycle. Maybe I should just be happy that it's not another CP.

@Mummabear40 🤞🏼 for you!

@Dia12 how are you today? Did the medication help?

@MummyBearBoo awww so exciting!!! 🥰

Treaclepie19 · 10/09/2020 14:23

Sorry @Redhead43 ❤ Lots of cuddles to you.

Hope you're okay @Dia12, have been thinking of you.

@NoCallerID fingers crossed it's wrong and get a lovely surprise 🤞

@MummyBearBoo so close now 😊

Well I'm 36+1 today and the consultant told me yesterday that because of having reduced movement they want to monitor me through labour so off goes my lovely MLU plans. Bleh.
Feeling pretty overwhelmed at the moment and just wanting her here safely now. Though appreciating the quality time with DS and chance to get him settled at school.

OP posts:
Dia12 · 10/09/2020 16:54

Had to giggle at your description of your little one's 4D scan @MummyBearBoo - how lovely to be able to see her. 8.5lbs is a decent weight too.

Hope you can get some time to get yourself into a calm and positive headspace @Treaclepie19. Hope delivery goes smoothly for you. When are you due?

Days around AF are always emotionally very difficult, sending hugs @Redhead43 and @NoCallerID. I second Kiki - bring on hugs, wine & chocolate!

The misporostol didn't work for me, unfortunately still retained product visible in today's scan. So was taken in to have "manual vacuum aspiration" under local anaesthetic to clean it out. It was short (around 15) but excruciatingly painful. The gas and air they have me was helpful in taking my mind away but not the pain! I've been told bleeding will now resolve in about 7 days 🤞🏼🙏 I can start piecing my life back together.

Treaclepie19 · 10/09/2020 17:50

So sorry it didn't work @Dia12. I'm glad they've managed to remove everything now and I hope recovery is smooth ❤
I'm due 7th October so still a while yet really!

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NoCallerID · 10/09/2020 20:13

@Dia12 ugh that sucks. Sorry to hear that. I had the MVA, they didn't have any gas & air available due to covid in April (no idea why...) and I found it painful, but not as bad as the contractions during my TFMR. I'm glad it's over for you now and your body can start healing.

Kiki275 · 11/09/2020 08:06

Morning everyone, been a really shitty week this week. Had a massive row with DH for starters, sleeping in separate rooms kinda massive (not good for TTC). We've made up so all good and TTC commenced again. Local lockdowns have really depressed me, DH and I haven't been for a meal together since before we lost the boys in March and just as we got a babysitter for our anniversary, local restaurants have been shut again. Work are being really difficult too (high up the chain). No wi-Fi or data left so can't work from home, not allowed in the (empty) office because of Covid.

@Dia12 will you still be able to get away for any amount of time?x

Dia12 · 11/09/2020 09:26

Oh @Kiki275 that's really tough. It's uncanny but we also had an explosive row on Tuesday night, completely out of the blue and just way out of proportion - over a non issue, slept in separate beds. I sobbed all night. No choice but to get our shizzle together as I had the procedure yesterday and since we had made up and hotel was booked we drove out here.
So, get how you're feeling.

I'm sorry work has become difficult and Covid - well just the icing on the cake isn't it!

Could you perhaps drive out of town for dinner?

Sending you hugs x it will get better

otterbaby · 11/09/2020 09:53

@Redhead43 such a bummer, sending you luck for this next month x

@Mummabear40 & @NoCallerID hope you both get the results you want this month!

@Kiki275 @Dia12 it's such a stressful time for you both, I remember getting into a few blowouts with my husband after my tfmr. Hormones, disappointment and a little bit of depression can really escalate things quickly and suddenly you're not speaking and you're wondering wtf happened. Glad you've both been able to make up though.

@Kiki275 like dia said, can you drive out of town to go for a meal? Sounds like you could really use a night off.

@Dia12 that procedure sounds awful, so sorry you've been messed around so much after everything that's happened. Hopefully now you'll be able to heal and like you said, start piecing together your new normal.

NoCallerID · 11/09/2020 10:48

@Kiki275 @Dia12 It's so tough. We argued so much.... I'm glad you made up and @Dia12 that you managed to get away for a bit. I hope you can enjoy it.

@otterbaby thanks... AF came in full force this morning. I said to my husband that there is now no chance to have a sibling for DS before he's 3. I feel so much pressure to keep the gap small. We wanted it to be 2 years. On top of that he's obsessed with babies and constantly asks if I've got a baby in my tummy. "Mama baby? No? Awww...." 😭

Kiki275 · 11/09/2020 11:08

@NoCallerID there are 4 years between my nieces and it was perfect. DN2 was Aug born so my SIL was off on maternity for the first year of DN1s school, which she adored. They are still really close and my elder niece was able to help with nappies etc whilst also able to do things for herself. Please don't let the gap dishearten you x

@Dia12 a few days of being waited on and pampered sounds just the ticket post procedure. Hope DH behaves x

We're literally on the county border so a 5 minute drive means no restrictions. We'll probably do this and splurge on a taxi so we can have wine x

otterbaby · 11/09/2020 11:25

@NoCallerID sorry to hear it 😔 I don't think 3 years is a big gap at all, but I know it's hard when you have a certain idea in your mind. Like Kiki said, it just means that your son will be a bit more independent by the time baby comes and will make it so much easier for you!

NoCallerID · 11/09/2020 11:25

@Kiki275 thanks. I know what will be will be... so many pros and cons to it. I'll just have to look at the positives.

Definitely do that and enjoy yourselves! 🥂

Treaclepie19 · 11/09/2020 11:47

@NoCallerID I had the same wobbles because there would have been 3 and a half years between ds1 and Jesse had all gone well. Now there will be 5y 1m between ds1 and this little one.
As it is it's worked out well for us so far. Try not to worry ❤

OP posts:
Dia12 · 11/09/2020 12:08

There is so much pressure we put on ourselves in trying to plan what we think will be the perfect set up for our families, but this is the one thing we have such little (almost zero) control over....and in fact there are probably many different versions of perfect/ideal in all of the scenarios we worry about.

I usually figure all this out right at the end, difficult to see past the worry at the time. I blame years of social conditioning/pressure!

Kiki275 · 11/09/2020 18:12

If my boys had survived, I would have had 3 under 2. I still find that incredibly daunting. Planning for twins never occurred to us when actively TTC baby no.2 x

Redhead43 · 12/09/2020 10:14

Hi Ladies,

Thanks for all your messages ❤️

I’ve been away all week which has taken my mind off everything for a few days. I’ve drank plenty and hot tubbed! Felt good to do this stuff.

@NoCallerID sorry AF arrived I had everything crossed for you aswel this month. Try not to worry too much about age gap lots of ppl I know have waited until DC1 is at school so they have more time at home with baby. I know that’s easy for everyone else to say when you’ve had a plan in your head.

@Dia12 sorry you had to go through the procedure at least it’s done now and hopefully in a week your body will try and get back on track. Enjoy your time away - I’m pleased you got to go.

@Kiki275 and @Dia12 hormones and grief are the worse combination and arguments are almost definitely going to happen. I think we’ve all been there and it’s so hard but you’re not alone in these blow out rows. Glad you’ve all made up. I know it’s hard to find couple time when you’ve got a little one at home with lockdown and baby sitting - I hope you find some time to enjoy together.

@Treaclepie19 sorry about your birth plans being changed. When you’ve had it planned in your head it’s so hard to alter that. At least you know you’ll both be safe and they are probably just being over cautious.

@MummyBearBoo 4D scan sounds great - loving the description of baby haha. Not long now!

@Mummabear40 how’s the TWW going hope you’re holding up okay.

Take care everyone xxx

Mummabear40 · 12/09/2020 10:50

@NoCallerID sorry to hear about AF, I can imagine the disappointment you must be feeling.

@Redhead43 your week away sounds fab and well needed. No AF as yet but my bbt dropped below the cover line today (CD26) so I’m not expecting a BFP even though I’ve had really good signs the beginning of the week. 😨

Redhead43 · 12/09/2020 12:05

@Mummabear40 don’t lose hope just yet. You never know. Sending lots of BFP vibes xxx

Mummabear40 · 12/09/2020 17:51

Thanks @Redhead43 hopefully my bbt will rise back above the cover line tomorrow otherwise I’m out this cycle.

Mummabear40 · 13/09/2020 06:34

My bbt hasn’t risen, it’s still below the cover line so zero chance this cycle has worked. AF will be on its way. I’m absolutely gutted.

Kiki275 · 13/09/2020 07:19

@Mummabear40 I'm sorry to hear this. We pin so much pressure on ourselves to conceive straight away, there's nothing we want more in the world. Please be kind to yourself, you've been through so much recently xx

Redhead43 · 13/09/2020 17:37

I’m so Sorry @Mummabear40 I know how disappointed you will be. be gentle with yourself this week lots of treats - mainly wine! Fresh cycle, plus you get another week and lots of TTC fun. Lots of love xx