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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2020 10:15

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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NoCallerID · 19/08/2020 09:25

@Dia12 I'm so sorry you're finding yourself here. Please don't think you need to 'snap out' of this, because that is likely not going to happen. Take your time to grief and don't put any pressure on yourself to get over it. It'll come in waves and whatever you fell, let yourself feel it. It's all normal.

Dia12 · 19/08/2020 09:52

Thank you everyone for the warm welcome. I was thinking I should speak to the bereavement mw about you where to seek counselling. Will also speak to ARC too.

I plan to track my ovulation using LH sticks. They have been a bit hit/miss with me in the past. Does anyone use a different method that works?

Treaclepie19 · 19/08/2020 10:48

Welcome @Dia12. Im so sorry for your loss Flowers
I would recommend ARC too. They're really good. Also do be gentle with yourself. You're grieving and it will take a long time to find your new normal.

For me I used ovulation sticks and temperature tracking to get the best idea of ovulation.

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NoCallerID · 19/08/2020 13:17

@Dia12 I use OPKs (2-3 times a day) when I notice my CM changing (that's a big sign, so if you're not already doing this I would really recommend it)
I also temp, but this only confirms once you have ovulated, so you get an idea when you will be in your fertile window in the future.

Mummabear40 · 19/08/2020 15:02

Hi All, I’m new to this thread. I’m having my first period since TFMR on 14th July. We plan to start TTC this cycle and feeling really nervous as I’m 40 and worried things will go wrong again x

Kiki275 · 19/08/2020 15:10

@Mummabear40 I'm sorry to hear you're in this position too. Welcome though, there are some wonderfully supportive ladies to help, whenever you need it x

Mummabear40 · 19/08/2020 15:21

Thank you, it looks like a really supportive group and lots of success stories. xx

Dia12 · 19/08/2020 16:37

Hi @Mummabear40 - sorry for your loss. I'm the same age as you and share the same concerns.
Are you trying for your first?

Redhead43 · 19/08/2020 17:08

Sorry you find yourself here @Mummabear40 this group will definitely look after you. You’re in good company xx

@Dia12 I really recommend ARC aswel. I personally didn’t get much support from the hospital but ARC and SANDs have been brilliant for me xx

Did you get your MRI results @MummyBearBoo xx

Hope you’re DTD lots @Kiki275 😊

Kiki275 · 19/08/2020 17:23

😂 @Redhead43 last nights conversation went like this:
Me. Suppose you better get your pecker up, we've a baby to make.
Him. How do you want it?
Me. Quickly

Who says romance is dead x

Redhead43 · 19/08/2020 17:33

Hahaha well I mean it is a school night. No time for romance. Got to keep well rested aswel 😂😂

Mummabear40 · 19/08/2020 17:53

@Dia12 sorry to hear you’re going through the same. We have a 2.5 year old son already who is perfectly healthy and desperate to give him a sibling. Will this be your first? x

Dia12 · 19/08/2020 21:18

Yes it will be my first....
It's difficult either way. I'm trying to be optimistic and hopeful. My bleeding seems to have eased at 11 days post tfmr and it's just spotting now.

I've ordered some LH sticks and a shed load of vitamins and have charged up my Ava bracelet so will start monitoring my cycle - without getting obsessed with the numbers!
Ought to really stop eating junk to sooth myself and get myself to the gym.

Mummabear40 · 20/08/2020 17:47

@Dia12 I’ve started temping and carrying on with the folic acid. I’m back swimming 5 days a week but really need to stop eating junk! I’m not sure this time about doing the OPK’s as I obsessed with them last time so think I’m gonna just wait for CM. I just feel so nervous to try again, I hoped never to be in this situation again!

1stbabs · 20/08/2020 18:27

Hi ladies, It was my birthday yesterday, we went bowling and I had the most fun I've had in ages. My DH got me a bracelet with my angel baby girls name on which was lovely. First growth scan tomorrow morning, trying not to worry too much.

Hope everyone is doing ok this week. Wishing lots of luck and baby dust to everyone ttc this month xxx

@Mummabear40 welcome and I'm so very sorry for your loss. As Kiki said everybody is very supportive here.. wishing you lots of luck ttc xx

@Dia12 I'm so sorry for the loss of your little boy so very recently too. Be kind to yourself, it's so hard emotionally in these early weeks. It was my first baby that I lost too, it's so hard. Wishing you the best of luck with ttc xx

@MummyBearBoo hope your MRI results were all good! X

Redhead43 · 20/08/2020 20:28

@1stbabs happy birthday for yesterday. Sounds like hubby got the perfect present💕 let us know how your scan goes. I know you’ll be nervous tonight but hope you get some sleep xx

1stbabs · 20/08/2020 21:53

Thank you @Redhead43 xxx

Dia12 · 20/08/2020 23:58

Happy Birthday 🥳 @1stbabs! Good luck with the scan tomorrow, hope it all goes well.
How long did it take you to fall pregnant after your loss?

Hope everyone else is doing well x

1stbabs · 21/08/2020 00:35

Thanks @Dia12 ! My daughter had spina bifida, so we had to wait 3 months before ttc again whilst I took a high dose of folic acid. We were very lucky catching first time trying so 4 months in total x

MummyBearBoo · 21/08/2020 17:39

Sorry for radio silence girls been busy trying to prepare stuff for baby and for DD starting school soon!

Hope you had a good birthday and that you're scan went ok @1stbabs

Sorry you're here but welcome @Dia12 and @Mummabear40 -having had 2 TFMRs losing two little boys time and support will get you thru this!!

My MRI results were normal so Dr says as long as placenta comes away ok (which has only happened once so far from my last 3 pregnancies) then there's no reason I should bleed more than normal!

The SPD in my left leg is horrible especially coz I'm supposed to lay on my left side and acid reflux is bad!! 33 weeks on Sunday getting close girls 🙃! Xxx

Mummabear40 · 21/08/2020 17:47

Hi all, did anyone suffer with over heating after their loss? I lost my little boy on 14th July and I’m constantly so hot, particularly through my first period which I’m having at the mo 🥵

Kiki275 · 21/08/2020 19:08

@Mummabear40 no, probably the opposite with me as my thyroid keeps dipping in and out of being underactive. Can you speak to your GP or bereavement MW about seeking some follow up care?x

Mummabear40 · 21/08/2020 19:27

@Kiki275 yeah I’m definitely going to give the midwife a call as it can’t be normal to be this hot constantly x

Redhead43 · 21/08/2020 22:00

@MummyBearBoo so pleased your mri results have come back all normal. You can relax a little more now. 33 weeks! Not long to go at all. Hope your SPD pain is manageable xx

@Mummabear40 I don’t remember being particularly over heated either. Probably best to just be checked to be on the safe side xx

Treaclepie19 · 22/08/2020 08:11

@MummyBearBoo I'm the same. Trying to prepare for ds starting reception and get ready for baby. All while struggling with SPD 🙈 It will be so worth it when she's here ❤

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