Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

[Treaclepie19]

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

@Treaclepie19 I can only imagine! Families are a nightmare, they'll be the first to complain if they can't see baby because of a local (or national) lockdown.

Personally, I'd let my son go back to school for some normality. It'll be a baby free zone that's all about him. I'd offset this by reducing exposure everywhere else. If you don't already, get your supermarket shop delivered etc.
Use lockdown as an excuse to keep your family away now and let you have a bit of peace. You're in charge, so dependent upon how comfortable you are with telling a few porkies, book your induction and let them know the date. Tell them you'll not be seeing anyone in the 2/3 weeks leading up to it. You don't actually have to go through with it and can cancel at any point. It might ease the pressure of "is anything happening yet, I want to see you one last time before it does" etc.
Try not to worry about being ready for baby, you've been there, you've done it, you'll sail through it. For everything else, there's amazon prime xx

@Kiki275 you're so right. I need to just do what's best for us.
I'll definitely be sending him to school because he really needs it but I'm just nervous 😔

I'm going to try and take it a week at a time. We're being extra careful with everything else so that's all we can do I guess!

Thanks @Kiki275 and @Treaclepie19 I do think I put a lot of pressure on this month which I definitely didn’t do with our little boy and I think because i got pregnant so easily last time it would just ‘happen’ so probably stressed my body out which is never helpful. Going to try and be more relaxed this time round. Trying to not focus on any specific days and just DTD when we fancy it.

@Treaclepie19 I totally agree with @Kiki275 telling some little white lies might just protect you from intense family and additional stress that you just don’t need. You need to just worry about yourself and your little family. Definitely don’t stress about having ‘everything’ the shops and next day delivery are only a click away. Take care xxx

Thank you :)

My anxiety is pretty bad today.
At my 20 week scan the consultant said my placenta looked a bit low and they'd have to keep an eye on it, then he said after oh its fine. We don't need to. Suddenly its back in my head and I can't stop worrying that its going to be a problem thats been missed. I reckon if it doesn't stop Monday I'm going to have to speak to my current consultant and get some reassurance.
I know I'll look like a pest though because I only spoke to her the other day about another worry.

@Redhead43 that sounds like a good plan. Every other day (on schedule 😂) covers all bases and relieves some pressure of having to do it now.

@Treaclepie19 you've had an awful previous pregnancy. I can't imagine any consultant would think of you as being a pest. If they do, they're in the wrong profession. I can guarantee there'll be FTM's with no prior problems more anxious than you. Definitely not saying they're in the wrong, just putting some perspective on it xx

Thank you @Kiki275, thats a really good point. I forget sometimes that it's okay to ask for help if things are too much.
Hopefully she will be able to reassure me. I'd love a scan to be honest because all these issues can be checked and I can try and relax a bit.

@Treaclepie19Can you ring your GAU and asked for a reassurance scan? It sounds like you’d benefit from one? Xx

Thanks @Kiki275 hopefully our more chilled out intentions will do the trick xx

@Redhead43 when I spoke to my consultant the other day she said they couldn't think of a good enough reason to scan me and that it would likely just cause me more worries.
I'm going to ring back anyway and see but its doubtful.

@Treaclepie19 have you any growth scans booked in before now & delivery?x

@Kiki275 nope nothing. No more scans. I've not had one since 22 weeks.
I'm 32+3 now!

Hi ladies just catching up.

@Redhead43 I'm so sorry that AF arrived. It's so hard not to put loads of pressure on yourself when ttc, but your plan for next cycle sounds like a good idea. My fingers are crossed for you next month 🤞🏽❤️

@MummyBearBoo beautiful pics! 💗

@Treaclepie19 I'm sorry you're having such a stressful time. Seems very unfair knowing your history that they won't arrange another scan to put your mind at ease. Hoping when you call back they will change their minds xx

Hey ladies just catching up too!

@Redhead43 -sorry AF came!

@Treaclepie19 -would a private scan be able to give you any reassurance?

Got an MRI on Monday and next scan is at 35 weeks I'm 32 weeks tomorrow! Not really sure what the scans are for at the mo baby is on 50th percentile now up from 48th last scan and my bump is 2 weeks ahead so I don't think it's a growth scan-and they said my placenta is embedded perfectly and blood flow is fine I guess it's just to check blood flow continues to be ok!

Can't go thru my birth plan til spoken to anaesthetist and have MRI result!! Xx

@Treaclepie19 please make sure you're monitoring those kicks and if anything doesn't seem right, call triage. Sorry!! I know you know this but I can't help it. Could you book a private scan for reassurance at say 35 weeks?

@MummyBearBoo good luck with all the extra tests. Hope all your plans fall into place soon, so you know where you're at x

I will do, don't worry!
Im going to speak to my consultant Monday and go from there I think.

Glad all is looking okay so far @MummyBearBoo!

We're off out for a meal later because it's our anniversary tomorrow. Can't wait even if I am nervous. We tried to go for one Wednesday and didn't enjoy it at all.

@Treaclepie19 I also think it’s unfair that they won’t give you a scan when they know what you’ve been through. Hopefully on Monday your consultant will be more understanding. I mean I know this is so naughty but you could tell a little tiny white lie to the pregnancy assessment unit so they have to scan you. I know it’s not an ideal way to go about things but your mental health is important and if a scan would help...?
I really hope you enjoy your meal tonight and happy anniversary ❤️

@MummyBearBoo hopefully your MRI results won’t take long so you can get your birth plan in place, that will make you feel even more prepared then xx

@Redhead43 unfortunately if they're anything like my mat unit, they might just stick a monitor on rather than scan. With the twins, they had to scan but singleton babies, they'd just stick the monitor on 🙁 x

@Kiki275 ah okay I guess some places are stricter with giving out scans x

Thank you lovely. Fingers crossed she will help.
Our meal was lovely (took ds who is 4 so went early) except my steak wasn't completely cooked through and I'd eaten some before I realised. So theres something else to worry about 🙈

@Treaclepie19 I wouldn't worry too much if it's a reputable place to eat normally. If their hygiene rating is good, it should be fine. I never gave up rare beef when eating out but avoided kebab shops and burger vans like the plague.xx

Yeah that's what I'm telling myself. It's a clean and lovely place to eat so I'll try not to worry.
Just been watching my birthing videos to try and relax and prepare.

I remember with the twins we went somewhere really lovely to celebrate DHs 40th. The rare beef was beautiful but I couldn't stand the smell of truffle and it was on two of the taster menu dishes. I was gutted I had to leave them 😢. DH was ecstatic though as he polished them off for me x

Hi Guys,

I haven’t posted on here for a while so apologise for being a little behind. Congratulations on those successful pregnancies!! I hope all is going well for everyone.

So.. after the loss of our DD in March, we finally had our PM results and the diagnosis was Unbalanced Translocation Chromosomes (2and 7). We are currently awaiting the results of genetic testing to see if myself or my husband are carriers of balanced translocation chromosomes.

We have a healthy DS and feel like this is a never ending nightmare.
Should one of us prove to be a carrier, it may mean a 50/50 chance of it happening every time we conceive. I’m really struggling with waiting for the results and hearing what it could mean for us in the future but also whether our son is a carrier too.

Does anyone have any experience of balanced translocation at all?

I’ve never had a miscarriage but my mum had 4 and a still birth, so naturally I’m assuming the worse and that it will prove to be inherited

@Grassisgreener99 I'm so sorry you have this worry. No advice myself but I know I've been reading some threads about it on the ARC forum. If you aren't already on there, I'd definitely suggest it as a good place to start x

@Grassisgreener99 I’m sorry you’re having these worries and fears. I am not an expert but I started doing some research into balanced translocations because my consultant mentioned it to me. There are some closed Facebook groups that are just for translocation discussions. And there’s threads on the ARC forum xx

@Kiki275 @Redhead43 thank you for your replies. I’ve requested to join the FB groups and will check out ARC.

It’s just a never ending nightmare- first having to wait 4 and a half months for the post-mortem results to have some amount of closure on the loss of our DD, now another wait to find out what the future holds for us.

It seems balanced translocation is quite complex and should one of us be carriers, I’m hoping the genetic team will help us look at all options.