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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2020 10:15

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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AlmondsAndChocolate · 17/07/2020 10:39

Bump measurements are unreliable which is why they aren't used anymore in many places. A scan gives much more information, so it's a great idea to go for a private scan.
What was the reason for the lack of amniotic fluid in your last pregnancy?

otterbaby · 17/07/2020 11:41

@Buzz22 there's a thread in the pregnancy forum right now called "still a very small bump" it looks like you're not alone Smile might be worth having a read to help ease your mind!

Buzz22 · 17/07/2020 12:28

Thanks @otterbaby I found it!

@BooMamaBear yes I was measured at the hospital a few weeks ago and it was small but she wasnt too concerned. I'm sure I am growing, it's just not really a bump yet I suppose! My uterus was retroverted and the consultant who was doing my cervical length scans noted that it was still extremely backwards tilted at over 20 weeks so I assume baby may still be sitting further back.

@AlmondsAndChocolate thank you that's good to know. Actually a friend of mine had perfect textbook week by week uterus measurements and ended up having an 11lb baby. Her bump looked absolutely huge compared to most full term bumps I've seen!
I had PPROM last pregnancy but I also bled very heavily throughout so the slowly leaking fluid went unnoticed until I was scanned. Unfortunately our baby's lungs hadn't been able to develop properly without the fluid they use to practice breathing. He also had pneumonia and my life was at risk from an infection which they suspect may have caused the initial rupture of membranes. They advised us to induce labour at 22 weeks. I know its silly to worry about that this time, as I know I havent been losing fluid. But I was concerned the before as I had zero bump last time and everyone said it was fine until it wasnt.
My consultant has been measuring the deepest fluid pockets at my scans this pregnancy, which have so far been fine but I havent seen her for over an month now.

AlmondsAndChocolate · 17/07/2020 13:09

You've been through a lot, it's not surprising you're anxious. I suppose your bump is small because of your tilted uterus, a friend of mine had this and she had a very small bump until 27 weeks or so, then her belly suddenly popped and towards the end she had a massive bump! Baby was an average weight though.

Kiki275 · 22/07/2020 10:17

Morning everyone,
Flo app reckons I'm on the TWW. I disagree as I don't think I've ovulated yet (no EWCM, which I usually get). My reckoning puts it today/tomorrow. We've tried to DTD every other night, so another attempt tomorrow I'm thinking should cover all bases. We're away this week as it was the boys due date Monday gone. It's perfect for relaxing but with a horrendously squeaky bed, very off-putting (sorry, TMI Grin).
How is everyone?x

Redhead43 · 23/07/2020 12:01

Hi everyone,

Hope everyone is well.

It’s really nice reading about you ladies and your pregnancies progressing. I know it’s an exciting but really scary time for you all.

@Kiki275 Hoping Monday went by gently for you. I hope this month is your month and you enjoy your time away.

I’ve just come to end AF so TTC journey is officially starting for us this week x

Treaclepie19 · 23/07/2020 14:51

Hi all, sorry for the silence. The further I've got through pregnancy it's started to dawn on me again that we don't know for sure all is okay. I'm 29+1 today and having a little wobble over it.
I'd been starting to detach from the pregnancy and couldn't work out why. Pretty sure this is the reason 😔
Good luck to those ttc!!

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Redhead43 · 23/07/2020 16:17

@Treaclepie19 I think after everything you’ve been through you feeling like this is completely understandable. I can’t say I know how you feel as I am much further behind in my journey but I can sort of relate to your worries. I want to get pregnant then immediately fast forward 9 months and give birth before I can relax. If you need to detach for a bit that’s okay, do somethings you enjoy and that are just for you. I think all you pregnant ladies are doing so well on your long 9 month journey and as a TTC member it’s inspiring to listen to you all and your honesty about your worries. Sending you lots of love x

Treaclepie19 · 23/07/2020 16:46

Thanks so much @Redhead43. My consultant said at the start she wished she could just lock us away for 9 months and bring us out when there's a healthy baby.
I hope things work out easily and quickly for you Flowers

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Kiki275 · 23/07/2020 18:32

@Treaclepie19 I can only imagine how you feel. With my singleton pregnancy I remember getting past the 20 week scan safely and thinking that would be it, the last time I saw my baby until their arrival in the world. In my mind, the next milestone was 24 weeks when they'd make every effort to keep a preemie alive, which was a real comfort. That was before my tmfr however so not sure what I'd be like now.
I know Covid has thrown a spanner in many works, however could you book in for a pregnancy massage when it's allowed or sign up for some meditation classes. Anything that will allow you to focus on yourself and your emotional wellbeing?x

@Redhead43 how are you feeling about it?x

Treaclepie19 · 23/07/2020 18:42

@kiki275 same, with ds1 I just was relieved after the 20 week scan and chilled a bit. This time is very different. Of course having the amnio would have helped with that but we decided not to.

I've signed up for headspace and I'm doing that at home. Trying to make time for me to do things I enjoy and focus on my wellbeing because my anxiety is through the roof 🙈

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Redhead43 · 23/07/2020 22:25

@Treaclepie19 sounds like you’re doing the right things and good you’ve recognised your anxiety. I’m having a massage tomorrow so I’m sure you’d be able to get a mum to be massage or treatment to help relax you. It’s so sad that we aren’t all innocently unaware in pregnancies anymore.

@Kiki275 I feel excited but also nervous for the journey of being pregnant again. I have moments where I feel like I’m doing my little boy an injustice. I’m not normally into old wives tales but when AF turned up this month I found a little white feather in the garden which I felt was him saying it’s okay. So I’m focusing on him wanting us to have a little brother or sister for him 💙

Kiki275 · 25/07/2020 11:45

@Redhead43 I sincerely hope the feather is a positive sign and things happen soon for you xx

MummyBearBoo · 27/07/2020 12:51

Hey girls how are we all?
I've got to have an MRI scan in a couple of weeks coz of the complications from my first TFMR they are worried that Ill bleed too much after delivery and they want to see what would be the best option so they can be to totally prepared!!
The radiologist actually remember my scan pictures from 2018 which I had done after the TFMR as my vessels all fused together and they had to stop the artery from delivering blood to them coz It was causing arterial blood loss!!
I've had extreme blood loss after both TFMRs coz despite us saying we needed to see a consultant they ignored us and were totally unprepared which resulted in it being so serious a consultant had to see me and both times I needed surgery and transfusions so hopefully this time they will be more prepared!! Xx

Kiki275 · 27/07/2020 13:10

@MummyBearBoo that's horrendous such an important piece of information was ignored. I'm hoping they'll take it seriously this time. What outcome are you hoping for? A definite birth plan or prior treatment possibilities?x

MummyBearBoo · 27/07/2020 14:22

Yes well I should have an anaesthetic plan and the results of the MRI and my 31 week ultrasound should all be pulled together to allow us to make a proper birth plan - my consultant at Fetal medicine called me to tell me about MRI she's pretty on the ball so hopefully we'll have the safest birth plan for us both but have a B and C plan if needed!!

She just wants as much info as possible to make it as safe as possible!

Worse case scenario I guess is I have bleeding which they can't stop and I'd need a hysterectomy but as I'd have to be put under this is extremely risky for me!

Hopefully my placenta comes away ok and the vessels fuse together again or cause any issues and I don't need any extra care!! Xx

Redhead43 · 27/07/2020 14:40

Hi ladies,

@MummyBearBoo how frustrating they didn’t listen to you! Sorry you’re having this extra stress on top of everything. Hopefully, with all the information bought together they will make a safe birth plan and there will be no need for additional care after birth and worst case scenario is miles away. You can guarantee if they are over prepared you’ll need nothing extra. Glad to hear that your Fetal Med consultant is on the ball with everything that’s reassuring xx

@Treaclepie19 how are you doing? Has headspace helped a little with your anxieties? Hope you’ve done plenty of nice things just for you this week Xx

How are you feeling @Kiki275? Did you enjoy your time away? Xx

MummyBearBoo · 27/07/2020 14:46

Thanks xx

Kiki275 · 27/07/2020 16:32

I really enjoyed it thank you @Redhead43. Just had a minor meltdown at the end as wasn't sure that DH actually wanted another DC. I think because Im so driven by a need for another and he's not obsessing over cycle length and ovulation as much as I, I'm questioning his priorities. The reality is he would love one but doesn't want to potentially watch me go through another tmfr again. We're on the TWW now but think I ovulated later so didn't DTD enough times to catch. It was my boys due date though so we had a lovely celebration steak dinner, he bought me flowers and lit candles for them 🥰 x

Redhead43 · 27/07/2020 19:10

@Kiki275 Glad you had a nice time and it sounds like you had a lovely night remembering your little boy 💙 I really like that you called it a celebration dinner.
It’s hard to understand what our husbands have been through as they’ve seen the person they love in so much pain, emotional and physical. Because I was very relaxed was we TTC the first time he was too and he just seems to be that relaxed again whereas I am definitely more aware and stressed about it.
I’ve got all my fingers crossed this two weeks goes quickly for you and you get the result you want. If not you’ve passed a massive mile stone of your little boys due date and have a lovely time to remember with your husband xx

Treaclepie19 · 28/07/2020 22:19

Thanks for thinking of me @Redhead43. I'm still very on edge about everything. Just trying to take it a day at a time.
I'm 30 weeks tomorrow though which seems crazy!

Hope you're all doing okay ❤

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MummyBearBoo · 29/07/2020 10:47

Happy 30 weeks @Treaclepie19!!! I'll be joining you on Sunday!!

Why does time drag so much til the 3rd trimester!! Now it's going to fast!!

Got my next scan in11th interested to see what baby is measuring she was 48th percentile at my last scan and my bump is measuring two weeks as head do wander if baby is?

Should have my MRI that week too!! Xxx

Treaclepie19 · 29/07/2020 10:49

Thank you!! It does speed up all of a sudden doesn't it.
I'm seeing the consultant in 2 weeks and really hoping she will do a scan but who knows.
I'm measuring one week ahead and baby was big at my last scan so won't be surprised if she's big.

Its all getting very exciting ❤ (and nervewracking)

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MummyBearBoo · 29/07/2020 14:05

Don't know how I'll cope of this baby is big (she already is like) coz my last baby was small and that hurt enough!! Xxx

Kiki275 · 29/07/2020 15:58

Scans supposedly aren't as accurate as you might think. I've read quite a few threads where babies have measured large but aren't that big at birth and vice versa. Fingers crossed your babies are perfectly perfect in size and every other way x