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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2020 10:15

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

OP posts:
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12
1stbabs · 24/06/2020 22:38

I'm another who's enjoying the heat! Only a little bump here so I'll probably change my mind when the bowling ball comes 😂

@Seahawk80 Maybe try the secretary? If you've had to complain before, you'd think they might try and treat you better this time! I know what you mean about Kings being impersonal though, I was sent there for a second opinion last time and felt the same way.

Rubbish that you weren't given a named midwife. Lewisham have been great, it's a smaller hospital I guess that helps. The bereavement midwife came and met me before my TFMR, visited me twice on the labour ward (I was there for a week as the medication wasn't working) and visited me twice at home afterwards. She's even checked in on me in this pregnancy. The fetal medicine midwife and consultant are great too, and have followed through with the extra scans they promised at my debrief. I feel really supported and I'd definitely recommend if you're thinking of changing x

otterbaby · 25/06/2020 14:19

Having a bit of a wobble today. I had my latest midwife appointment on Tuesday and they retyped some of my notes. I was flicking through once I got in and there was a section that referenced my TFMR and the details of it. I feel like I've worked really hard to separate that pregnancy from my current one, but since then I haven't been able to shake an underlying feeling of dread and anxiety. I haven't wanted to go into the baby's room since my appointment because it just makes me feel panicky and that we've bought so much stuff and we could still come home without a baby.

I've had a proper cry today because even though I'm happy, it's just not how things were supposed to be. I should have a 10 week old baby with me right now. It's like an open wound that never heals up. It closes enough to ignore it sometimes but when it opens back up...gosh, it really hurts 😔

MummyBearBoo · 25/06/2020 19:40

Oh hun I hope you have a better day tomorrow- it's normal to have good days and bad days but it does get easier though honestly-you are totally justified to feel how you do and you don't forget it but you find a way to move forward! The bad days be one less frequent! We're all here to support you too!! Xxx

1stbabs · 25/06/2020 20:20

@otterbaby I'm so sorry you've been having a bad day. I think we're all bound to be up and down during pregnancy, it's hard not to be anxious and panicky sometimes. Sending virtual hugs xxx

otterbaby · 25/06/2020 20:38

Thanks ladies, it means a lot. Having today to feel sorry for myself and tomorrow's a new day! X

Kiki275 · 25/06/2020 21:01

@Redhead43 I'm sorry you're here but you're in good company. These ladies are so supportive and know exactly what you're feeling.

@otterbaby that sounds really hard. One day soon you'll walk into that baby room full of excitement but for now you're entitled to feel everything you are. There is so much expectation and pressure from others, and at times even ourselves, to get over it. To only look forward, not back. It's impossible and totally unnecessary x

Balajake · 26/06/2020 12:19

Hey ladies. Just checking in to see if you’re all doing ok. My little boy has his 1st birthday today so today is a good one. He got cars and books and a garage play set. Currently having His mid morning nap x
Il

MummyBearBoo · 26/06/2020 18:19

Ahh happy birthday to the little guy!! Xx

Balajake · 26/06/2020 21:20

Thankyou Hun. 🙂

Also got a positive OPK tonight so here we go again 🤪

Sef89 · 27/06/2020 14:14

Hi, 5 and half weeks ago I've just had to have tmfr and I'm now worried that the procedure will effect my fertility on top of the grief and pain from the whole thing. I notice on here that that doesn't appear to be the case... Thanks

MummyBearBoo · 27/06/2020 21:35

@Sef89 Welcome sorry your here though - I've had two TFMRs and had no problems getting pregnant since this is my 4th pregnancy (got pregnant first month we tried this time) and nowI'm 25 weeks pregnant! I had loads of complications too but there's no reason why it would affect your fertility unless the Dr's warned of something after that might? Xxx

Sef89 · 27/06/2020 21:46

That's reassuring! I was told it was text book, there just appears to be so many things about scarring on the Internet, I'm. Worried sick. Congrats on being 25 weeks x

MummyBearBoo · 27/06/2020 22:34

Thanks I have a bit of scarring but not caused any probs!! Xx

Sef89 · 28/06/2020 00:36

Oh really, how can you fund that out....

Were yours surgical treatments...

Xx

MummyBearBoo · 28/06/2020 18:03

They were both medical but both needed surgery after I've had tons of scans due to the issues and they said there is some scarring as a result even my pregnancy with DD had issues too!! Xx

MummyBearBoo · 29/06/2020 09:24

I hate this day - the day before my wedding anniversary (8 years this year) the EDD for my first poorly little boy in 2018 and the time I found out my second little boy wouldn't be able to survive either last year!!

It's a bit easier now that I'm 25 weeks pregnant!! Hone everyone else is doing ok! Xxx

Kiki275 · 29/06/2020 09:50

@MummyBearBoo massive hugs. What will you do today? Take a moment for yourself xx

MummyBearBoo · 29/06/2020 10:01

I'd love to but DH is working and DD's pre-school isn't opening!! I've got lots of stuff to do to keep me busy all boring mundane stuff tho xxx

1stbabs · 29/06/2020 10:16

@MummyBearBoo that sounds like such a difficult day. Thinking of you xxx

Ps congrats on the 25 weeks, such a big milestone! x

ShootingStar2020 · 30/06/2020 20:20

Hi ladies!

Hope everyone is doing ok?

@otterbaby - hope you are feeling better? The bad days can be so bleak but you are coping so well. Amazing lady!

19.5 weeks here. Building up to 20 weeks scan next Wednesday. Gulp! Trying to focus on the positives and enjoying the magical kicks. Mother in law doing well so fingers crossed that all goes well next next.

Sending hugs. Xxx

MummyBearBoo · 30/06/2020 22:41

@ShootingStar2020 -ooh scan exciting!! Hope it all goes ok you'll have to show us the pic!!

I've got a 26w scan on Tuesday hope she's still ok and should be able to get a 4d pic this time!! Xx

otterbaby · 01/07/2020 09:24

Thanks @ShootingStar2020 I felt better after having a little rant and cry 🙂

Not long to wait for your scan then! I'm sure everything will be absolutely fine x

AlmondsAndChocolate · 01/07/2020 10:02

I got a BFP today, haven't told anyone yet, not even my OH. My breasts are very soft and I wonder if that means there's something wrong, they were quite sore in my other pregnancies. So I'm trying not to get excited and take one day at a time.

I didn't even know bereavement midwives existed, it's fantastic that you get that kind of support. I'm not in the UK and even though I cannot fault the public health system here, I wasn't offered any kind of support when I had the tfmr. It would have been great to be able to talk to someone!

Balajake · 01/07/2020 10:22

@AlmondsAndChocolate

I got a BFP today, haven't told anyone yet, not even my OH. My breasts are very soft and I wonder if that means there's something wrong, they were quite sore in my other pregnancies. So I'm trying not to get excited and take one day at a time.

I didn't even know bereavement midwives existed, it's fantastic that you get that kind of support. I'm not in the UK and even though I cannot fault the public health system here, I wasn't offered any kind of support when I had the tfmr. It would have been great to be able to talk to someone!

Big congratulations to you ❤️❤️ How are you feeling ?
1stbabs · 01/07/2020 11:33

@otterbaby glad to see you're feeling better ☺️ x

@ShootingStar2020 glad to hear your MIL is getting better. And Good luck for the big scan! 🤞🏽 I have my early anomaly scan next week too and can't wait to get it over and done with x

@AlmondsAndChocolate Congratulations! Lovely news ❤️

@BooMamaBear hope you're feeling better today. So exciting about the 4d scan! xx