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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2020 10:15

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

OP posts:
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MummyBearBoo · 18/06/2020 12:45

Great news and good luck on your TTC journey @Kiki275 xx

NoCallerID · 18/06/2020 16:04

@Kiki275 how random, I got my results today too. No abnormal cells but HPV positive.... now I'm wondering if my chemical pregnancy last cycle was related to it. I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm 1dpo today. I'm terrified of it happening again and can't even bring myself to call my GP and ask what this means in terms of TTC...

Kiki275 · 18/06/2020 16:55

As far as I'm aware, being positive just means that you're at an increased risk of getting most types of cervical cancer. It doesn't mean you have it by any means. Does the letter tell you what's next? Ie. we're any abnormal cells found?
If you need a colcoscopy, I'm pretty sure this can't be done if you're pregnant, like smears can't.

www.nhs.uk/conditions/cervical-screening/your-results/

MummyBearBoo · 18/06/2020 16:59

You can have the HPV virus without having abnormal cells or cancer xxx

Kiki275 · 18/06/2020 17:01

Sorry I should have read your reply properly you answered about the abnormal cells. If there's no further action, just continue TTC. Your cervix will be as healthy as anyone else's, it just has a dormant virus there that lots of women could have. The good news is you know it's there and know to be extra vigilant.
I personally think it unlikely to have caused your chemical but if you have any worries at all, can you call your bereavement midwife if you have one?x

NoCallerID · 19/06/2020 12:14

Thanks @Kiki275 I've calmed down now. 2020 has been the worst year of our life and this was just another item added to our list. Husband is going through some medical stuff at the moment and we almost stopped TTC because of it. Thankfully he's come around and has agreed that either way we want our boy to have a sibling.

Kiki275 · 19/06/2020 14:46

@NoCallerID I'm sorry to hear this. 2020 has been an absolute sh*tter as it is and I can't imagine having health concerns too. Good news that you're both in the same page about TTC. My DH was reluctant at first because he didn't want to watch me go through it all again. Then he thought we should wait until building work was started/completed. I hate waiting knowing conceiving a healthy baby is nothing but a game of roulette with high emotional stakes.x

Seahawk80 · 19/06/2020 15:29

@Kiki275 @NoCallerID totally know what you mean about having DH on board...I still haven't told mine I'm pregnant again. He will be fine and happy but at the moment our building works are so stressful I thought I'd wait until the weekend or maybe even next week. To be honest I don't really want to talk about it at the moment as I just can't imagine a successful pregnancy.

Kiki275 · 19/06/2020 16:36

@Seahawk80 I can only imagine what you're feeling. Is he observant at all and will work it out on his own? Will you go for a private scan together before your 12 week one?x

Seahawk80 · 19/06/2020 17:05

@Kiki275 luckily super non observant! Literally would have no idea. I just feel like a few more days of not letting it out into the open means it's not really real so I don't have to worry. Which makes no sense. I'll def have an early scan to make sure things look generally OK but last time we had loads of scans, harmony etc and it was pointless. The harmony was inconclusive the first time and then we had the 12 week scan in a few days. If it came back inconclusive again it would make me feel so much worse so we decided if we tried again we'd just suck it up and wait until 12 weeks. As we only DTD once at least I'm sure of the dates!

Kiki275 · 22/06/2020 12:10

Hi all,
TMI we DTD last night but I don't ovulate first 6 days. Can't decide if I'm terrified, excited, optimistic or what.
Never been this undecided about TTC before.
Time shall tell x

1stbabs · 22/06/2020 18:18

@Kiki275 I think I had all of those same emotions when we started ttc again too! My fingers are crossed for you 🤞🏽 x

14 + 5 today, 2 weeks exactly until my early anomaly scan. Time is dragging sooooo slowly. Wish I could fast forward!

Hope everybody is ok x

MummyBearBoo · 22/06/2020 21:28

Time is going slow for me too -glad I'm now over 24 weeks but coz I have a scan at 26w (2 weeks tomorrow) it's taking ages to get there!! Xx

Treaclepie19 · 23/06/2020 06:51

@Kiki275 I felt the same, hoping for an easy ride for you!

Time is going slowly here too. 24+6 so shouldn't complain but my next consultant appointment is at 32 weeks. Also feels a bit like groundhog day at home with the same routine day in day out and nowhere to go. My 4yo has had enough of being stuck in as well so that's fun 🙄

OP posts:
Kiki275 · 23/06/2020 07:56

@Seahawk80 how are you this week? Have you felt up to telling DH yet?x

Seahawk80 · 23/06/2020 12:07

@Kiki275 I told him at the weekend once we'd sorted out all the problems with our new kitchen! He is like me...pleased but apprehensive. I know it's scary when you first start TTC again. I just thought if we don't try again we don't have another baby, so if we try again and the worst happens the end result is the same but we had a chance. It helped me anyway.

My mum has said she will pay for an early scan which is great as I was struggling to justify the money and even if we could get one on the NHS I just hate that hospital so much. We're reasonably central in London and I have thought about changing hospitals as we are actually closer to other hospitals but Kings have been excellent and always spotted the problems and it's where I would probably end up being referred if I had a bad scan again so I think we'll stick with them but not go until the 12 week scan.

Kiki275 · 23/06/2020 13:04

That's reassuring @Seahawk80. I'd recommend researching a good clinic for an early scan. I had a not so great experience with one but I'm in a totally different area to you. There may be ladies on here who can help with that x

Redhead43 · 24/06/2020 19:24

Hi Ladies,

I’m hoping to join this thread if that’s okay? I’m not quite ready TTC after a very recent TFMR of our beautiful little Joshua. However, we know we would like to as soon as the time feels right.
Ive been lurking reading your stories and you are all so amazing and strong. Sending you all love xxx

otterbaby · 24/06/2020 20:04

Welcome @Redhead43 I'm sorry that you find yourself here but hopefully you'll find some support here as well xx

1stbabs · 24/06/2020 20:10

@Redhead43 so sorry for the loss of your little boy, but welcome. Hope you're doing ok, the early days are really rough but it gets better ❤️

@Seahawk80 Good that you've told your DH and you're both on the same page. I think an early scan is a good idea, it really helped me bridge the gap to the 12 week one. Are you able to get in contact with your bereavement or fetal medicine midwife from last time? They might be able to arrange one at the hospital for you? They did for me, I'm at Lewisham x

Redhead43 · 24/06/2020 20:36

Thank you @otterbaby and @1stbabs 💙

Seahawk80 · 24/06/2020 22:06

Thanks @1stbabs . I didn't get any sort of special midwife. I find Kings a bit impersonal, I guess it's so big and busy. I do have the contact details of the secretary of the top guy at the scan until after I complained about my scan a year ago. I've asked her to make sure the sonographer knows my history and also to move my scan on a few days as I know my dates exactly and the date they booked for me I'd be 11+4. Hated moving it to later but I'd be gutted to get all worked up and then be sent away as it was too early, or worse have them miss something that then shows up at 20 weeks. I'd be very interested to hear your thoughts on Lewisham, it's literally walking distance from me!

Hope everyone is coping in the heat, I love it but I know not everyone does. This time 3 years ago I was 38 weeks pregnant and I was fine but most of my NCT group were melting!

Seahawk80 · 24/06/2020 22:09

Forgot to say welcome @Redhead43 so sorry to hear about your little boy x

MummyBearBoo · 24/06/2020 22:18

The heat with a bowling ball (my DH's words not mine) on your front is not nice!! But luckily this one isn't as much as a radiator as my DD was which at the time as a winter baby I was grateful for!! Xx

@Redhead43 welcome but sorry for your loss honestly it will get easier!! Just Kaye sure you are ready before you stay your TTC journey again! xxx

MummyBearBoo · 24/06/2020 22:20

Meant make sure you're ready before you start your TTC journey again - sorry cataracts in my eyes at this time of night mean i can't read what I've typed very we'll! Xx