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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2020 10:15

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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BooMamaBear · 02/06/2020 21:11

It is good to be this far feeling baby kick and stuff but coz I had complications from both my TFMRs I have to have extra scans and I'm terrified before each one!
Just to say I've been pregnant twice since my T21 and neither babies had it a second time (one did have the other abnormality so had to have a TFMR anyway)!
What do they mean tho about CVS it doesn't just give you a probability like the harmony it's diagnostic? Xx

Buzz22 · 02/06/2020 22:38

Feeling restless and anxious. Really thought I'd be able to relax after 20 week scan which is when we got our bad news last time.
Now I've had the 2nd attempt and there are still measurements they could get and they were still unable to view heart and lungs, I feel I still cant shed the bad thoughts.
Also feeling concerned the baby is still curled up in a ball like the first attempt at 20 week scan a week ago. I guess it's just bad memories of our little boy all balled up as he had no fluid last pregnancy.
DP doesnt understand why I'm feeling so stressed by it all. Maybe I am being unnecessarily worked up I dont know? I was just hoping for 1 successful and stress free scan this pregnancy but it doesnt seem like its meant to be.

1stbabs · 02/06/2020 23:41

@Buzz22 I'm sorry you're feeling so anxious. Have they given you another date to try the scan again? In all likelihood, your little one was just being uncooperative and it doesn't mean anything is wrong. I do know what you mean about the bad memories though .. I'm not looking forward to my next scans either, for fear of seeing the same problem I saw last time.

@Mustkeepsmiling I'm so sorry about your harmony results. I don't have any experience with t21 but just wanted to say that I hope your diagnostic testing brings better results 🤞🏽 x

Treaclepie19 · 03/06/2020 06:25

@Buzz22 im not surprised you're feeling anxious. Im feeling similar and they got all my measurements on the 2nd try.
Gota private scan booked now for extra rrassurance.
Its a real stressful time Flowers

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BooMamaBear · 04/06/2020 12:23

@Buzz22 -hope they get all the measurements ok today xx

Balajake · 07/06/2020 11:32

8dpo and got this today. It was 2nd morning urine but I got a very faint line on a cheapie with first morning pee

Can anyone see it ?

Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6
Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6
Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6
BooMamaBear · 07/06/2020 11:56

My eyes are crap- one doesn't work at all (waiting for a cataract operation!) so I'm not the best to answer this anyway but I'd try again in a few days by 14 dpo you should get a definite line! Xxx

BooMamaBear · 07/06/2020 11:57

Think I can make out a faint line on black and white pic xxx

Treaclepie19 · 07/06/2020 12:17

I can definitely see something @Balajake! I'll be keeping everything crossed for you xxx

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1stbabs · 07/06/2020 12:26

I see it too @Balajake !! 🤞🏽 x

Balajake · 07/06/2020 12:32

I know it’s early and these things don’t stick sometimes. I will test again tomorrow. Only used the frer because I saw a line on the cheapie. I with I’d have used the frer straight away with the same sample because it was a 7 hour hold. The sample I used with the frer was only a 2 hour hold

Thankyou ladies

Buzz22 · 07/06/2020 17:57

I can see it @Balajake! Fingers crossed for you 🤞🤞🤞

Kath544 · 07/06/2020 20:36

@Balajake that definitely looks positive to me. How are you feeling about it?

Have my private harmony test tomorrow afternoon and my scan at 11weeks3 the following Monday at fetal medicine centre. Starting to feel very anxious now. Never even had an early scan before so terrified they’ll find a missed miscarriage or something tomorrow. Just need to breathe...

Treaclepie19 · 07/06/2020 21:12

Gosh I'm struggling tonight. Im 22+4 which is the same gestation as our little boy was born. I've got such a lot of guilt.

@Kath544 I hope all goes well tomorrow. Scans are so nervewracking. We're all behind you ❤
I found I prepared so much for things going wrong that I forgot to think about how I'd feel if they went right.

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1stbabs · 07/06/2020 21:33

@Kath544 wishing you the best of luck for tomorrow. Hope you're able to relax and get some rest beforehand x

@Treaclepie19 that must feel like such a strange milestone to get to. Thinking of you and your little boy ❤️

I'm struggling with guilt this weekend too. I haven't visited my daughters grave because I got so upset last time (it was her due date), I just can't face it again any time soon. I feel so bad knowing it's the only thing I can do for her and I'm not doing it 😢

Treaclepie19 · 07/06/2020 21:40

@1stbabs remember you don't need to visit her grave to be with her. She is always with you and part of you ❤ She's in your thoughts and heart all of the time and there is absolutely no need to feel guilty. I know that's easier said than done.

Thank you, it is such a weird milestone. I hadn't really expected it to hit me but it has. Currently in bed reading a book to try and find some calm.

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1stbabs · 07/06/2020 21:56

@Treaclepie19 thank you so much, I think I really needed to hear that. I think about her every day so you're right and she's always with me.

A book in bed sounds like a good idea! The guilt can be overwhelming sometimes but I hope tomorrow is better for us both. Xx

Balajake · 07/06/2020 22:11

@Kath544 to be honest I just want it to be real and not an evap line or chemical. These things are so common so just getting pregnant after my termination will be just an amazing feeling as it’s the first hurdle. I’m 40 so I know I’m at high risk of something going wrong again and I know I’ll worry like crazy

@Treaclepie19 I’m so sorry you are feeling anxious . Just take each day and week as it comes . You’re going to feel so many emotions about your little boy. Do you know the Gender or are you leaving it a surprise ?

Balajake · 07/06/2020 22:13

@Kath544 good luck for your harmony. I’ve already said I won’t have screening and just go straight for cvs but I will just see how I’d feel
If I get to 12 weeks

Treaclepie19 · 07/06/2020 22:18

@1stbabs I'm glad, I hope you can get some rest xxx

@Balajake they think we're having a girl. They couldn't confirm 100% but that's what he reckons. I've booked a private scan for the 16th to get an extra look at everything and see if they can confirm. We've been referring to her as a girl now though.

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BooMamaBear · 08/06/2020 01:09

@Kath544 hoping everything goes well for you with harmony and scan!

@Treaclepie19 and @1stbabs -hoping you both have a better day tomorrow
i understand that it's hard not to feel guilty but try I and remember that as a mum the hard decisions for me was in best interests of both of my boys I wouldn't want them to suffer more than they had to! Xx

Treaclepie19 · 08/06/2020 10:41

Thanks @BooMamaBear that's exactly how I feel. I think I just had a wobble yesterday.
22+5 today so further than last time. A week tomorrow I have a private scan Smile

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Buzz22 · 08/06/2020 12:05

@Treaclepie19 I totally understand the weird milestone. I'm nearly 23 weeks and had a realisation the other day that this is now the furthest I've got in a pregnancy.
Very exciting about your private scan! Hope baby is more helpful this time!

@Kath544 good luck for today! 💜

1stbabs · 08/06/2020 12:43

@BooMamaBear thank you! You're right of course, we all did it for them xx

BooMamaBear · 08/06/2020 13:12

Just remember that- it means you're a great and unselfish mum you put their needs before your own and you have a hard time and feel these emotions because of that!! Sometimes it's harder to do the right thing so none of us have anything to feel guilty about!
As much as it hurts I know I'd make the same decision everytime -I find it a bit easier to look at it like this now I've been through it twice and the last time was now almost a year ago! Time helps xxx