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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 6

999 replies

Treaclepie19 · 16/03/2020 10:15

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

OP posts:
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12
NoCallerID · 27/05/2020 12:21

@BooMamaBear @1stbabs
Thanks for checking in. No AF, I had a dream that she came...
Same faint line on a FRER but a faint line on a Alere 25 miu I was given at the hospital a few weeks back. I've ordered more FRER and also some of the Alere ones as they're so much cheaper and apparently just as good.
Spoken to my GP this morning and she said a line is a line and if I wanted to come in we can do FMU hcg Levels but they won't do bloods so I said I'll just wait and see.
I just can't see it happening but then again I really am hoping it will all be ok...

BooMamaBear · 27/05/2020 12:41

That's good - it could just be taking a while for your HCG levels to come up it's still fairly early. Xx

1stbabs · 27/05/2020 12:47

Yeah I agree, it's still early. I still had faint lines the day AF was due. Keep us updated x

NoCallerID · 29/05/2020 06:45

It's definitely a chemical... started bleeding last night and am in quite a bit of pain.

1stbabs · 29/05/2020 08:23

@NoCallerID Oh I am so sorry to hear that, it's so shit to have your hopes up then have them torn down again 😔. Take some strong painkillers and get lots of rest. xx

Treaclepie19 · 29/05/2020 12:48

I'm so sorry @NoCallerID 😔Flowers

OP posts:
Balajake · 29/05/2020 13:16

So sorry @NoCallerID I’ve been trying since my tfmr. This is my 2nd cycle and got a positive ovulation test today. It can be so hard wanting something so bad and it getting snatched away like that 😔

I’m hoping for us both xx

Kiki275 · 29/05/2020 17:08

@NoCallerID I'm so sorry to hear this, it's very cruel xx

BooMamaBear · 29/05/2020 17:58

I'm so sorry to hear that @NoCallerID hope you catch quickly with a sticky one xx

Kath544 · 30/05/2020 13:50

So sorry @NoCallerID - must be really tough.

So I have now got all my testing dates sorted. I have a viability scan and harmony test booked in for a week on Monday at 10+3. Then my scan booked in for exactly a week later at the royal free - apparently UCLH are only taking new cases so I couldn’t return there. It all seems pretty close now. Two and a half weeks and we’ll know if this baby is ok.

I also really struggle mood wise early pregnancy - I have horrible sickness that I’m medicated for and just always feel so low. Praying it will get better at 12 weeks. Someone reassure me it does!!!

BooMamaBear · 30/05/2020 19:40

My nausea for my last 3 pregnancies all got better at just over 10 weeks (I didn't have any with my first) every pregnancy is different but I hope it gets better for you soon! Xx

NoCallerID · 31/05/2020 06:29

Thanks ladies. I'm coming to terms with it, it's an early loss and I think it's better it happened now than later on. Trying to convince myself my body just wasn't ready and that my uterus lining just wasn't thick enough for implantation rather than it being a chromosomal issue, but we'll never know...

@balajake 🤞🏼 for both of us!!

@kath544 I hope your scan and test go well. I struggled with moods too, but it thankfully passed in the 2nd trimester. I hope it does for you too. My friend struggled throughout and she was on sertraline towards the end which really helped her.

BooMamaBear · 31/05/2020 10:19

I had a chemical last year and 2 months after I conceived! So 🤞 for you & @Balajake xx

NoCallerID · 01/06/2020 13:20

That's good to hear @BooMamaBear!!

I've just called my gp and they've literally today started doing smear tests again! Booked in for next Monday and after that I think I'm happy to try again. Just not sure how my husband sees it...

Balajake · 01/06/2020 20:00

I’m in the dreaded 2 week wait again. 2dpo and I dreamt of twins last night. I think I’m cracking up.

@NoCallerID I think we are both in that place where we long for what we’ve lost. I’d be 24 weeks now I think, I guess you’d be that too aswell ? Im 40 so I’m risking it at my age but if I don’t take that chance I don’t think I could come to terms with it.

NoCallerID · 01/06/2020 20:30

@Balajake I'd be just over 27 weeks... I feel like time stood still and am shocked whenever I'm reminded that my friend is now so and so many weeks (she was 3 days ahead of me), yet it feels like such a long time ago. Absolute out of body experience.

I've got everything crossed for you!! I always say risk over regret. You've got this!!

Balajake · 01/06/2020 20:47

@NoCallerID we’ve both got this. Hugs to you too

Treaclepie19 · 01/06/2020 21:09

Thinking of you both and wishing you all the best ❤Flowers

OP posts:
BooMamaBear · 01/06/2020 22:01

It's so hard when people are due around the same time as you were my SIL was due day after me and had a daughter when I'd lost my first little boy!! I did find it harder when she was pregnant than when she'd had the baby tho!!

Hugs to you both @Balajake abs @NoCallerID xxx

Buzz22 · 02/06/2020 08:07

Those milestones are really hard.
I also had 2 best friends give birth this april, a week after my due date.
Sending lots of love @NoCallerID and @Balajake

Mustkeepsmiling · 02/06/2020 12:14

Hi all,
I hope you don’t mind me commenting on your feed, I’m totally new to this but just need to hear from someone who ‘gets it’ I think. I’m sat here crying my eyes out at some of your posts and totally feel your heartache.
To give you an overview of my experiences , 6 years ago at 13wks I was told I had 1 in 3 chance of T21 baby, this was confirmed with an amnio and I had a medical termination at 15wks and it totally broke me.
I didn’t get pregnant again until last June when I had a silent miscarriage at 8wks, where I had an operation to remove it as after weeks of pessaries and waiting it didn’t want to leave me.
So since then we’ve been to have ivf assistance, they tested me to check if I carried a T21 gene, which was all clear. I had my first round of ivf March and am now 12wks 4days pregnant. I have like most of you had a massive fear that history would repeat, so I had a harmony test at 10wks 3days. It came back positive for T21, I went for my 12 week scan on my own yesterday and it broke my heart as it looked so perfect. Baby’s fluid measurement was 2.2, which they said was ok. I can’t have my amnio until 15weeks 4days.
I don’t suppose anyone has ever proved that test wrong?????🙏🏼I know I have false hope but I don’t know how else to get through this next 3weeks and then another week for the results. To add to it, it’s my 40th birthday in the week wait. I wish I hadn’t had it, just so I could have been unaware for a bit longer. Thanks for listening, but I don’t know anyone else who has been through anything remotely similar, I don’t have any children and feel I’m rapidly running out of time and have literally spent the whole of this year waiting.
Ps so sorry this is sooooo long!!

Kath544 · 02/06/2020 13:05

Hi @Mustkeepsmiling

So sorry to hear you’re in this position. I terminated a T21 pregnancy back in January and am now 9.5 weeks. Have harmony test next Monday and the scan the following week.

Must be heartbreaking receiving your harmony results but I assume it showed high likelihood as not diagnostic so there is still hope.

Are you not able to have a CVS now rather than wait for the amnio? Back in Jan, I had my CVS later the same day as my first scan at 12weeks3.

Remember harmony not diagnostic only probability/likelihood and if your NT is within normal range, that’s also a hopeful sign.

Crossing fingers hardly seems sufficient in these scenarios but I truly hope things work out well for you. I know how hard it is and can’t imagine going through it twice (though I may also have to contend with this over the next fortnight).

Mustkeepsmiling · 02/06/2020 13:51

Hi kath544 (I don’t know how to get it to link you?!? Sorry 😣)Thankyou for your reply.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, that’s lovely news, and gives hope. I hope it goes well this time.

Yes I know the harmony test is a screening and not diagnostic, the midwife didn’t seem to want to look at it until I’d had the normal screening at my scan. I did it thinking exactly as you said, That hopefully it means I could find out for definite sooner with cvs and If it was worst result, I could hopefully have the operation rather than going through the medical labour route, which in all honesty was awful. But the hospital have said they don’t want to do a cvs as it tests for the same thing as the harmony, so if there was an anomaly, it would give the same result. They want to be certain before they allow a termination, as do I, just feels such a long wait and trying so hard not to get attached to this little baby that I’ve seen on the screen.

BooMamaBear · 02/06/2020 17:55

I had a T21 baby too though it also had another chromosomal abnormality which would make him unlikely to survive past 5 weeks of he made it through labour! I had CVS at 11weeks for the other abnormality and they test for T21 as well but this baby had a large NT measurement so the fact that yours doesn't is promising can't you ask about having CVS?
I'm now 21w + 2 days pregnant this baby was clear for T21 and the other abnormality! Xx

Mustkeepsmiling · 02/06/2020 21:03

@BooMamaBear ahhh congratulations on your pregnancy, 21wks must be a magic Time, once you’re past all the initial scares and concerns.

I asked about having a cvs As that had been my reason for having the harmony as soon as I could and know as early as possible. The hospital said they would prefer to do an amnio as the cvs tests for the same as the harmony test. So a looooong wait it is. Enjoy your pregnancy 😊 xx