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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 5

984 replies

Conorgog · 07/08/2019 10:28

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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DinoGreen · 02/11/2019 09:11

Hi ladies. What a horrendous week I’ve had. Work has been absolutely mental and then on Wednesday night I came down with the vomiting bug DS had last week! I thought we’d escaped it seeing as it had been a week since DS’s - maybe it was just caught from elsewhere. Took Thursday off work but still had to work from home in between being sick because some things were just so urgent and my team is so understaffed at the moment, there was just no one else who could do it for me. Then dragged myself in yesterday for half a day. I finally seem to be on the mend today. DH hasn’t caught it yet, praying he doesn’t come down with it too.

Sympathies to all those finding TTC difficult. We conceived baby 2 very easily but DS we were trying for 18 months so I well remember the months of OPKs, TWWs and disappointment. Hoping that if we decide to go for it again after Christmas, it will be easy again. I always do OPKs because my cycle isn’t that predictable. Some months I ovulate as early as CD12, some months not until CD17 or 18. I know we could just have sex every night throughout that period but like you all, DH and I are exhausted from work and parenting a lively 3 year old and tbh weeknight sex never happens unless we’ve been TTC and had a positive OPK! I use the Clearblue smiley face ones too @JO138, never did get on with the cheaper ones, I can’t tell at all it the line is darker or not!

Treaclepie19 · 02/11/2019 09:31

@DinoGreen I'm so sorry to hear that 😔 I hope you're feeling better now!!
I'm currently day 18 and despite there being no bloody chance of being pregnant I'm still hopeful. Anyway, only about a week until my period should show up. Then we can try properly although with it being christmas I'm not sure... it'll also have been a year since we lost our little boy on the 14th december. Planning on doing something nice and getting a cake.

JO138 · 02/11/2019 15:41

@DinoGreen that sounds bloody awful. Glad you are on the mend and fingers crossed your DH can avoid it.

@Treaclepie19 I can imagine that the anniversary will be really hard. Our LO would have been due in mid January and I am dreading it. Especially if we haven't managed to conceive by then.

I'm at home full of a cold with hubby away just counting down until bath and bed! 😴

Mini12 · 02/11/2019 18:02

@JO138 thank you explanation, I didn Google in the last but I always forget!! I also use WTF alot!!!
I'm actually feeling ok, I seemed to have turned a corner in the way I think now, I'm actually feeling a bit (dare I say) optimistic about trying again in the future, just praying in the back of my mind this tragedy was a one off! 🙏

@DinoGreen uurgh I feel for you its alwful being sick in its own never mind having to work through it and also having a child to take care of!

@treaclepie19 I'm with you, have a terrible head cold come on today so bath bed and bit of strictly if I can keep eyes open!
The anniversary will be an emotional time I'm sure, doing something nice and having a cake is a nice idea x ♥️

Treaclepie19 · 03/11/2019 09:33

❤ hugs all round I think ladies.
I'm trying to keep busy and sort out my house today. Af probably due Friday. I'll be glad when its next cycle tbh, so we can try properly.

JO138 · 04/11/2019 17:34

@Mini12 glad to hear you are coping ok and feeling positive. I commutes all summer with a woman who had her baby last month and she WhatsApp'd me a picture of her 3 yo dd holding her son. Have to say my heart broke just a bit.

I'm in my obsessive googling phase of TWW. Counting down to when I can invest in yet more hpt. Blah!

Mini12 · 04/11/2019 19:02

@JO138 I think I'm always going to look at other women with babies with envy until I have (pray I will have) another. I think it's normal and doesn't mean we'r jelouse just that there's a longing after losing a child.

TWW I know this one! Ha arrh it's so exciting and nerv wracking!! Do you wait until your so many days late? I'd always take a test in the first day then actually find out I was on my period before taking the test!!

JO138 · 04/11/2019 19:35

@mini12 last month I was pretty pathetic with hpt. 😬 I think I did about 7. I started literally the first day I could, 6 days before I was late. I won't do that again this month. Both times I've been pregnant I've actually just known and then taken a test to confirm the day I was late. But I've never tried so hard!

My little boy keeps asking me "when is the baby getting here" and told his entire nursery he was "going to get a baby". I have no idea where he got that from unless he heard my husband and I talking. Was a very awkward nursery collection. FFS. Blush

Mangoandbroccoli · 04/11/2019 21:00

Fingers crossed @JO138! They do say children have a sixth sense about these things!? I know I've definitely ovulated now so am joining you in the obsessive stage. Slightly missing how blissfully naive I was when I very luckily got pregnant pretty quickly with my son... I just dtd when I felt like it and then took a few tests at random intervals - had never even heard of the tww 🙈

Had a heartbreaking conversation with my little one earlier who told me he had a baby in his tummy and it was going to live in the sky soon 💔 Luckily he said it quite happily and matter of factly but it's so sad that this is his reference 😢

Treaclepie19 · 05/11/2019 07:40

@Mangoandbroccoli bless your little boy. It must be so hard to hear.
Our 4yo doesn't know about his brother that we lost. I'm hoping to tell him when hes older.

I'm about 6dpo. As I said though we only managed it once this cycle and I reckon that was ovulation day (had stopped doing opks) so no clue why I'm even symptom spotting.

JO138 · 05/11/2019 09:03

@Mangoandbroccoli wouldn't that be lovely! A July baby. I got pregnant quite easily as well and both BFP were just pleasant surprises but I am definitely not very laise faire this time round.

It's amazing how kids process. It is definitely harder on us to have those little chats. My friend said to me the other day that I would talk to my ds about it when he was older and it's just something I have really never thought about but I suppose I will. Fingers crossed with his little brother or sister!

I have been obsessively looking at my clearblue calendar and figure we managed either 3&1 or 2&4 days before I ovulated......not sure if I even have a chance as we missed my peak day but still fingers firmly crossed!

DinoGreen · 05/11/2019 11:19

Aw @Mangoandbroccoli that’s so sad Sad

We had stupidly told my DS about the baby after an early private scan at 10 weeks looked fine. Telling him there was not going to be a baby anymore was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. He mentioned it quite a lot for a few weeks but now hasn’t mentioned it for a long time and I’m hoping he’s forgotten. Dealing with his questions was so difficult. Your DS sound so sweet.

Conorgog · 06/11/2019 16:35

@JO138 @Mangoandbroccoli

What DPO are y’all? I believe I am 5, when do ‘symptoms’ start exactly? And (lol) how many days till you can do a test?

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Treaclepie19 · 06/11/2019 17:02

@Conorgog whenever I'm pregnant I get no symptoms! I normally get a bfp at 11dpo.
Currently 7dpo and will be testing friday when af is (likely) due because i have a scan Saturday that might need changing.

Mangoandbroccoli · 06/11/2019 18:22

Thanks for your kind replies. @DinoGreen we were the same and assumed all was fine at a 10 week scan 😔 Even at the 12 week scan they didn't say anything, which I was really upset about with hindsight. It wasn't until a week later that we got The Call, but looking back at the details we were given at the scan, the NT was 3.2mm. That didn't mean anything at all to us at the time but the sonographer would have had an idea something wasn't quite right but said nothing and we left all excited 😔

I think I'm 5dpo too @Conorgog 🤞🏼🤞🏼

Mangoandbroccoli · 06/11/2019 18:23

I've never had pregnancy symptoms either! Just exhaustion a few weeks in with both and sickness a few weeks in with the second

Treaclepie19 · 06/11/2019 18:27

@Mangoandbroccoli we very nearly shared too at 11+5 we had our first dating scan and all was fine but they couldn't do the nuchal as it was too early. So we went back in a few weeks and got the bad news 😔❤❤❤

JO138 · 06/11/2019 19:42

@Conorgog with both of mine I've just felt "funny" and pretty much knew that I was pregnant. Both before my period was due.

I've been testing 6 days before af is due which is just well and truly a waste of money! I tested with my last pregnancy just 2 days before my period was due and it was negative then the day I was due it was a positive.

I'm either 5 or 6 dpo now and am trying so hard to be relaxed.....not so successfully!

Mangoandbroccoli · 06/11/2019 20:53

@Treaclepie19 😔❤️

JO138 · 08/11/2019 16:32

How is everyone?

I'm so bloody glad it's Friday! I am shattered!

Hope everyone is surviving and I am guessing there are quite a few of us in TWW limbo again. Tick tock.....ugh.

Happy Friday!

Mini12 · 08/11/2019 16:57

Hi @JO138 and everyone, I've been catching up with posts and hope everyone waiting in Tww has some good luck!!! I'm still waiting for period but hoping it won't be long! I'm not stressing though and going to have a nice glass of red tonight!

Conorgog · 08/11/2019 17:20

Happy Friday!

Yes TWW, I’ve decided I’m actually not that fussed on the outcome this month; probably that’s partially mentally protecting myself from disappointment though.

@JO138 when will you test? I think I will wait till at least my period - seeing as I got all those negative tests last time!

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JO138 · 08/11/2019 18:29

@mini12 Wine is definitely in order tonight! Hope you get a nice relax!

@Conorgog I'm actually feeling a lot more relaxed than I was last month. I think it's a combination of not wanting to be disappointed and also speaking to people who have 4+ years between children and realising that it will be fine!

I am going to have some modicum of self restraint and try not to test until my period is due a week Saturday.....but in reality we are out with friends Friday and I know I will want to test before I drink anything.

Mangoandbroccoli · 08/11/2019 19:29

Happy Friday all! I've had an awful cold this week and feel like I've finally crawled to the finish line now that ds is in bed 🤪

I'm waiting until period is missed to test, so next weekend. Definitely got my hopes up for no reason other than selfishly feeling like I deserve a bfp and I put in loads of effort this month 😂🙈

Conorgog · 08/11/2019 19:41

Cool, I’m not really too sure when mine in due but will test next Saturday too!

@Mangoandbroccoli, crossing my fingers for you, good effort is tiring. We managed twice - one post ovulation I believe, so certainly based on that poor effort , I’m not holding my breath 😃

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