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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 5

984 replies

Conorgog · 07/08/2019 10:28

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

OP posts:
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Mangoandbroccoli · 24/10/2019 13:31

Thanks @Treaclepie19. Sorry to hear yours have been a nuisance too. That's good to know they weren't concerned about spotting though. I'm just hoping it doesn't make our chances of conceiving again any less likely. Plus I'm forever wearing my 'just incase' pants!! 🙈

Mini12 · 25/10/2019 10:50

Hi everyone, I just wondered if you remember when first had a period after TFMR ?I'm only 2 weeks down the line but just wondered?.

Having a few tough few days this week, everyone around me seems to be pregnant, announcing their pregnant and I really miss being pregnant. I'm scared incase I have problems in the future.... it's such a rollercoaster of emotions ...

Treaclepie19 · 25/10/2019 12:02

@Mini12 I didnt record how long I bled for but I know my next period was recorded 32 days after our little one was born.

Sorry you're having a tough few days ❤Flowers

DinoGreen · 25/10/2019 13:03

Hi @Mini12, my period came 29 days after my TFMR, my bleeding never stopped 😡 I totally understand what you mean about it being a rollercoaster of emotions - I still feel a bit like that although things have improved and I have less down days.

Thanks @Treaclepie19 my DS is better now! Kids bounce back quick don’t they!

Conorgog · 25/10/2019 13:26

Ahhhh @Mini12 I was the same period took What I thought was forever to come - but actually was about 29 days From op to period. Don’t worry, It will come!

Sorry you’re been feeling low, I’m in the same boat, my sister and my brother have in the last month both had new babies and I get the ‘so when will you have another one’ question all the feeking time. I hate it.

@DinoGreen that’s awful your still bleeding, so frustrating. Are you ovulating through it?

OP posts:
Mangoandbroccoli · 25/10/2019 13:43

@Conorgog I hate getting questions like that. Now that I'm feeling stronger and able to talk about it, I've actually started saying that I did have another one but they're sadly no longer with us. Not to deliberately shock (although the look on people's faces when you say that is quite something!) but it certainly stops them gong on about it and makes me hope they might think about it a bit more before asking someone else next time. The one thing that makes me happy is that you know that someone who asks those kinds of questions has never known the heartache we have.

@Mini12 So sorry to hear that and I completely understand it too. Pregnant people are everywhere all of a sudden after a loss! I came off social media which helped as I wasn't then faced with a barrage of announcements which I just found too tough.

My apps tell me that it's time to give it my best shot again now so fingers crossed for this month! I can also see that the day which will either be AF's arrival or take a test will be the same day as the one that should have been our due date - going to be a challenging weekend then I think 😳

Treaclepie19 · 25/10/2019 14:26

Ahh I'm glad @DinoGreen 😊 They definitely bounce back quicker than adults!

I hate that question too. I'm so awkward I end up just not saying anything and then feel so guilty later.

Mini12 · 26/10/2019 09:34

Hi, thanks for your responses, I just don't get some people, I think as I'm now 'over the worst" some may think I'm fine, my brother said to me the other day "oh so and so is pregnant' which is the last thing I wanted to hear!!! Then I feel awful for not being happy for others.. I think I am prob being a bit over sensitive. I feel no one understands unless you've been through it which isn't alot of people I know personally.

@Mangoandbroccoli How poignant, it will be an emotional day for you I'm sure but also hope exciting if you are pregnant!
Which app are you using?

@DinoGreen yes can you test if your ovulating now?

DinoGreen · 26/10/2019 18:00

Aw @Mangoandbroccoli that’s got to be difficult timing with testing due the day of your previous due date. Good luck for this month though.

@Mini12 I haven’t done any OPKs, tbh I’m shouldn’t really be on this thread as we’re not actually TTC yet, I don’t feel ready. I feel like I need to wait until at least after Christmas before I give it any consideration. Also, because selfishly I want to drink and be merry over Christmas - feel like I deserve that after the misery of the summer! I completely agree with you that no one knows how we feel unless they’ve also been through it ... which no one I know in real life has (or no one that I know of - I appreciate that some could have and not told me, I certainly haven’t shared it with many people).

Mangoandbroccoli · 26/10/2019 19:51

Thank you @DinoGreen and @Mini12. Fingers crossed but who knows what will happen. I'm sure it'll be a very emotional day either way.

@DinoGreen Of course you should be here regardless of when you feel ready to try again 💚

@Mini12 I use the app that came with the Ava bracelet but still put the temps from that in to Fertility Friend as I find the graph a little easier to read. (And because I'm so obsessed I need to cross reference between 2 apps 😂🙈)

Treaclepie19 · 27/10/2019 08:43

Oh ladies. I went to my friends 30th last night and ended up quite upset talking about our little one. Then drank way too much and now I feel embarrassed and dreadful 🙈🙈🙈

Mini12 · 27/10/2019 18:55

@DinoGreen yes of course you would be here, I'm not TTC yet either but I feel this thread has been such a great support and to keep informed on "tips" for TTC is useful also! I may try after Xmas too for similar reasons!!

@Mangoandbroccoli well if your going to try may as well have all bases covered I say!!!

@Treaclepie19 I know you must feel a bit embarrassed but I'm sure your friends don't see it that way, you've been through a tragic experience and unfortunately when we have a few our emotions are likely to come to the forefront, hope your not to hard on yourself today x

DinoGreen · 27/10/2019 19:41

@Mini12 thanks, I’m glad I’m not the only one planning a boozy Xmas 😄

@Treaclepie19 if it’s any consolation my mum took me to dinner on Friday night as a treat and the second she asked me how I’m coping with everything I burst into tears in the restaurant. I feel like I’m coping ok a lot of the time but I can’t talk about it - it sets me off.

Treaclepie19 · 27/10/2019 19:52

Thank you both ❤
I'm generally okay but the mix of alcohol and friends being really kind was too much.
I was talking about our plans for his first birthday and the memory box I was going to get. He still has clothes hanging in the spare room never to be worn.
Just set me right off.

Also thinking of a boozy Christmas but don't want to delay ttc so I'm not sure! Plus after today I may never drink alcohol again 😂

JO138 · 01/11/2019 09:00

Morning all. I hope everyone is doing well.

I've already started my TWW already as my husband headed to heathrow at 6am. I'm so annoyed at myself. My DS has been sick with a cold and I've been shattered because he's not sleeping. Started to get high fertility on OPK on Sunday and we managed Monday and Wednesday but then I got my lh surge yesterday and I fell asleep with my DS before my dh got home from work. Woke up so frustrated as he flew out to a friends stag at 0630 this morning so I've missed the window. Angry Just feel so disappointed but I was just shattered and full of a cold!

Conorgog · 01/11/2019 09:53

@JO138 I’m actually thrilled you are still trying, I don't know why. I think I was a bit sad at the thought of you dropping off here. 🙂

God I used ‘the sticks’ this month, nothing on them at all until last night too when I got a line darker than the control line. partner has been away, then I’ve been away, so no sex until late late last night when he got in, then when we tried this morning, the fecking child needed attention, and tonight we are out, & I imagine will be a super late one, so one chance total for the month at this stage - unless it’s worth a go late late tonight.

Feeling your pain Jo!

OP posts:
JO138 · 01/11/2019 12:53

Thanks @Conorgog

Funnily I finally went to see the consultant that performed the termination. She was so lovely and just said. Stop the OPKs. Stop stressing. Have say day 13, 15, 17 and other than that have sex for fun!

And she said I looked 25 which helped. Grin Even though it's not true.

She did say based on the previous baby the odds are roughly 1:100 but overall those are good odds. She told me to call her when I got pregnant and she would organise an 8 week scan and a harmony test.

The appointment was day 10 so I figured what the hell, let's try again! We managed day 12 and day 14.....so fingers firmly crossed but I really knew last night was best chance and I ended up sleeping in the spare room with a very sniffly toddler. Argh!

Have fun out. I will be home googling "chances of getting pregnant O-2?" Grin

Treaclepie19 · 01/11/2019 15:13

Well we've only managed to try once this month on cd15 so with my cycles being short again probably completely missed the boat!
Hey ho. We've had cold and coughs and sore throats too so all been a bit grizzly!

The consultant sounds lovely @JO138 😊

JO138 · 01/11/2019 15:31

@treaclepie19 the cough and cold this year is a bad one! We've all had it! I'm counting down to the weekend!

Fingers crossed for you. Can't say I missed the bloody TWW!

Treaclepie19 · 01/11/2019 15:33

It's been going on for weeks. Hoping we will all be better soon!

I know, it's horrible! Even though I know theres no chance of us being that lucky I'm still wondering.

Mangoandbroccoli · 01/11/2019 15:44

Hi ladies!

You never know @JO138 and @Conorgog, maybe that will be enough?! 🤞🏼🤞🏼

We've been at it like bloody rabbits (husband is delighted, total change from the post-child-late-night-work norm 😂) and still no ovulation confirmed by temps yet - on cd16 so hope it hurries up - I'm knackered!! 🤣

Dabbled with opks today and yesterday. Actually got a line yesterday - not equal or darker but did a little dance as I never get anything at all. Just tried again and it's an absolute squinter 🤷‍♀️

JO138 · 01/11/2019 16:28

🤣🤣 well done! @Mangoandbroccoli. I have to admit that sometimes it helps to have the extra incentive because most nights after work bath, book, and sleep is all I want!

I don't get the lines on the opk. I bought the digital one to save my wee brain. Smiley faces I understand!

Fingers crossed you'll get something soon!

Mangoandbroccoli · 01/11/2019 17:39

@JO138 I hear you!! It's a bit like going to the gym... have to talk myself in to it because I just want to crash out after a long day but always feel great after 🤣🙈

Mini12 · 01/11/2019 19:20

@Mangoandbroccoli that's is a great analogy!!! Haha good luck for this month

Guys when you say TWW what does this mean? Sorry I'm a proper Mumsnet virgin with all these acronyms?

Also when you say day 13 or 15 is that post period as such?

JO138 · 01/11/2019 20:16

@mini12 don't worry, I did a lot of googling when I started using mumsnet.

TWW is two week wait. The horrendous wait to see if you get you AF (aunt flo) after ovulation.

Day 13 etc. Is CD (cycle day) with day 1 being the first day of your last period.

And two I use a lot I won't explain WTF , FFS Blush🤣

How are you feeling? X