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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 5

984 replies

Conorgog · 07/08/2019 10:28

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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DinoGreen · 17/10/2019 13:19

@JO138 I’m sorry you’re being afflicted with the awful heavy periods too, and you @Treaclepie - it sounds like you’ve had it for ages too 🙁 I was staying at my brother’s house last weekend and i was terrified I was going to leak onto the sheets, how embarrassing that would have been. Mine is thankfully finished now but I am going to try and see the doctor before my next one for some tranexamic acid.

Enjoy a big glass of wine tonight ladies x

Mangoandbroccoli · 17/10/2019 13:40

@DinoGreen Agh that must have been such a pain 😔

@Treaclepie19 Good plan! I caved and bought an Ava bracelet after deciding to try again - pricey but so worth it for ease of temping and predicting!

Treaclepie19 · 17/10/2019 14:23

Yep. 10 months ago we lost our DS2 and I thought it would settle down in time 😔

No wine for me tonight but I weigh in at slimming world tomorrow and will be having prosecco and pizza after that.

Treaclepie19 · 17/10/2019 14:24

Sent too soon. I'd love an Ava bracelet! My dh is a bit 🤨 at me getting so obsessed though so probably not going to be getting one 🙈

Mini12 · 17/10/2019 16:17

@JO138 & @Mangoandbroccoli sorry it's not happened for you this month x

Also sorry everyone seems to be having bit of a rough time each month! As if trying and waiting isn't hard enough!!

DinoGreen · 18/10/2019 06:38

@Mangoandbroccoli interested to hear about the Ava bracelet - they constantly come up on my fb feed advertising (which actually I could do without right now - though I think I am slowly coming round to the idea of trying again). Let us know how you get on with it.

@Treaclepie19 that’s awful yours have been heavy for 10 months 😕 understand why you don’t want to take anything though. After my DS was born mine settled down after about 4 months so hoping that’ll be the case with me.

Treaclepie19 · 18/10/2019 06:43

@DinoGreen I just keep hoping it'll settle... naive!
Now we're trying though I figure I'll just wait it out and hope for the best. They say each pregnancy resets and changes your cycle.

Fingers crossed yours settles down 🤞

Mangoandbroccoli · 18/10/2019 07:25

@DinoGreen I've loved using it so far. Even though it's meant for regular cycles and mine are up and down, it's still been pretty accurate at recognising ovulation and it's so much easier than temping with a thermometer as you don't have to worry about doing it at the same time every day. I put my results into FF as I find that easier to read and get beautifully curved charts instead of the jagged mountains from my thermometer (obsessed much? 😂🙈) I haven't wasted any pregnancy tests as I've been able to see temps reducing before period arrives too. They seem to sell on eBay for almost as much as new, so I figured I'd sell it on after I get pregnant really bloody quickly 😜

MummyBearBoo · 19/10/2019 10:40

I've now lost 2 little boys after having TFMR both with the same condition but one also had Down Syndrome as well - I do have a DD who was first time lucky. We are trying for our second however there is a 50/50 chance of the baby being too ill to survive and needing another TFMR we're not eligible for pre-natal testing coz we already have a healthy baby girl who's almost 4! I've had severed blood loss with both my TFMR and needed blood transfusions both times and although we had medical I ended up in surgery both time too -I'm really hoping it's 3rd time lucky we were planning to start trying this month but only DTD once and not even on the ovulation day so I guess we'll start next month!! My AF is due a week tomorrow! I have like 51/2-6 week cycles! Xx

DinoGreen · 19/10/2019 12:12

Hi @MummyBearBoo I think we were both on the January 2020 thread Sad it was awful enough going through this once so I can’t imagine how you feel going through it twice and having complications as well Flowers

Good luck for next month if this month isn’t lucky for you x

Mangoandbroccoli · 19/10/2019 12:19

@MummyBearBoo I'm so so sorry. I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to go through twice and to now face challenging odds again x

MummyBearBoo · 19/10/2019 13:30

Thanks @DinoGreen -I was on January thread coz the last one was due on 10th Jan which is just before my birthday so I remember the date and the first one was due the day before my wedding anniversary!! Emotionally I felt much stronger this time than last time coz the first time I'd never experienced a loss I've had no MC's and my first pregnancy with my DD was all so smooth so it was really hard first time plus all my friends got pregnant with their second just after me and my SIL was due the day after me -but the last time i didn't find it as difficult but it's still totally heartbreaking! Xx

Mini12 · 19/10/2019 16:13

@MummyBearBoo so sorry to hear about your losses, it seems like unfortunately it's not to uncommon now I've experienced a TFMR I hear so many stories of women who have had losses after a first healthy child ....! Fingers crossed for you TTC x

@Conorgog How are you doing? Hope the bleeding has subsided a little? x

Conorgog · 19/10/2019 17:08

Thanks Mini, I’m good, had scan yesterday which was clear so that’s great news + she said my uterine lining (fun fact) was measuring 3.5 so we are good to try again this cycle if we want to.

How are you feeling, still bleeding a lot or are you ok?

@MummyBearBoo so sorry that sounds hectic, have you thought about - is it icsi? The one I think that’s ivf and you get the chromosomes tested before implanting?

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Treaclepie19 · 19/10/2019 17:15

@MummyBearBoo ❤ I'm so sorry for your losses. You must just be emotionally exhausted xxx

@Conorgog I'm really glad your scan was clear and that you've got the go ahead Flowers

I'm feeling rubbish today. Really down 😩
Having some problems with lots of things at home and its just all getting a bit much. I currently don't even know if we're carrying on ttc or not.
Beginning to feel depression sliding back in after working so hard on it this year.

Mini12 · 19/10/2019 17:57

@Conorgog that's good news!! I didn't realise there were so many factors to getting pregnant! It's a bloody miracle it even happens!! Yes I'm not bad thanks, I'm bleeding less, feel like I'm feeling the effects of diff hormones kicking in, sometimes more irritable and also some hot flushes!! Fun times!!!

@treaclepie sorry to hear your having a tough time, rememeber it's ok to feel shit sometimes, you can get back to feeling better again I'm sure! Is there anyway to minimise other sources of stress? ( I know easier said than done) when my husband suffers from depression he cuts back on time with friends who he feels stress him out, cuts back on work (if he can) and also tries to exercise more to get the endorphins going! Hope u don't feel like this for long x

Treaclepie19 · 19/10/2019 20:50

Thank you @Mini12 :)
I'm feeling a little better this evening. I think it's just a case of making sure I have some time to relax. I'm not feeling great either with a sore throat so maybe bed early would help.

MummyBearBoo · 20/10/2019 19:58

@Conorgog -it's called PGD -pre-implantation genetic diagnosis -we actually started this procedure before accidentally (happily tho) falling pregnant with my DD -as we now have a 'normal child' we are not entitled to any assistance in funding for this from the NHS - at in excess of £15k per cycle and a 1in 3 success rate (so potentially £45k at least) doing this would land us in debt and severely limit what we could do with our DD and there is still no guarantee you would get pregnant! If we had had a child affected by the genetic condition it would have cost the NHS loads with the care they would need should they survive or even if they didn't but we would have still been entitled to 3 free cycles!' Xx

Justthinkofone · 21/10/2019 16:53

Hi ladies
So glad I found this thread. We had a tfmr for T21 in July 2017-following a 1:3 from the nhs test, a 99% on harmony and then amnio to totally confirm, this was after a mmc May 2016. Had another mmc Dec 17, 18 months with no pregnancy, then another mmc June this year. I now find myself at 12 weeks and had good scans but of course terrified about the nhs screening and if all fine, the 20wk scan.
I am 39 and of course hopeful that all the sh*t than could happen has.....but the world and fate can be cruel.
I am sorry to hear other stories on hear, I suppose we all need to have hope and as much positivity as possible.
For those trying again, my pg this time was after taking maca root, royal jelly and co enz q10 for improved egg health - so perhaps if anyone out there is trying, it takes 3 months for eggs to mature for release, so I have hope that these measures have helped me so far!?
Sending love and hope for us all after difficult pregnancies x

Mangoandbroccoli · 21/10/2019 18:28

@Justthinkofone A very warm and empathetic welcome to you. I'm so so sorry for everything you've been through. Going through heartache so many times is just so unfair 😢

@Treaclepie19 How are you feeling today?

@Conorgog That's great news! (In the grand scheme of things at least!)

Treaclepie19 · 22/10/2019 14:25

@Mangoandbroccoli thanks for asking lovely. I'm okay, my throat is really hurting and I've not been too well so I haven't done my bbt or opks yet. Cd7 today so we should start dtd but I dont reckon I'll be up to it!
Hey ho.

Welcome @justthinkofone I'm so sorry for your losses Flowers Wishing you all the best.

Conorgog · 22/10/2019 15:05

Welcome @justthinkofone I’m so sorry for your past losses but also congratulations!

You have made it through the first 12 weeks, which as evidenced by the formation of many of these groups on mumsnet is an award in itself.

Sending you a big hand hold for all your upcoming scans and the tests, odds are that everything will be where it should be, but can fully understand the anxiety you might feel.

My bleeding stopped on Sunday so call me mad but I’m (we) going to go try again this month, any tips for building up uterine lining (lol) honestly IRL I’m not by any means a ‘sharer’, or an internet lurker, but yet here I am asking Qs about my uterus.

Happy Tuesday

X

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DinoGreen · 24/10/2019 08:50

Welcome @Justthinkofone and congrats on your pregnancy. When do you get the results of the screening? I was told that I could have the NIPT if we get pregnant again, have you been offered that by your hospital?

Good luck for this month @Conorgog.

I’m off work today with a sicky DS. He woke us up at 5am yesterday morning by throwing up in our bed! DH drew the short straw though and had yesterday off with him which involved a lot of vomit, I seem to be lucky so far, he hasn’t been sick since yesterday afternoon so hopefully it’s all out and now today we can just take it easy on the sofa with CBeebies for most of the day.

Mangoandbroccoli · 24/10/2019 09:49

Morning ladies, has anyone had really weird stop and start bleeding since going through everything? I had 4 days of bleeding when my period started this month, which I thought was lovely and short, nothing for 2 days and now it's started up again, albeit fairly lightly. Ugh, so want to get back to normal! (Tfmr was beginning of June the d&e for retained placenta was beginning of September. )

Sorry to hear about your toddler @DinoGreen. There's so much going around at the moment. I never got colds before having a little one at preschool! 🙈

Treaclepie19 · 24/10/2019 12:36

Oh gosh @DinoGreen sick bugs are the worst :( Hope he's better soon!

@mangoandbroccoli I'm not sure about prolonged bleeding. Perhaps ask the gp? Mine has just been very heavy and long periods. I've then had spotting in between which is unusual for me. They weren't concerned though so I think it varies a lot.