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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 5

984 replies

Conorgog · 07/08/2019 10:28

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Mangoandbroccoli · 05/02/2020 10:43

@JO138 Not regular at all unfortunately - amazingly I have actually had a period each month recently but it can be anything between 25-31 ish days and when I got pregnant before, I ovulated far later and didn't get a bfp until day 45 🤪 So the temping does at least give me an idea of ovulation and then I know to expect a period or test 14 days later.

@fretnot Thank you so much for your kind words and I'm so sorry you've been through this experience too. It must be really hard not to stress in this current pregnancy but try to hold on to it being a new and unrelated one with low odds ❤️

Treaclepie19 · 05/02/2020 10:58

Welcome @fretnot Smile

I have some good news ladies! I went to the doctor because I'm in such a state about this one sided pain and he's booked me a scan for monday morning when I'll be 6+1. I know we won't see much if anything but at least they can check if anything is in the wrong place.

NoSuchThing · 05/02/2020 18:12

Hi, I’ve been lurking for a while, and am ready to take the plunge and join you if that’s ok?
I had a TFMR nearly 3 weeks ago at 13.5 weeks after our 12 week scan showed an NT of 4.5mm, oedema from skull to base of spine and fluid on abdomen of our baby (suspected hydrops). I was unable to have a CVS due to the position of my womb and the placenta, but we were advised by the consultant that he’d never seen a good outcome in a case like ours.
I’m still very much up and down about the whole thing; at times I can hardly believe I was ever excitedly expecting a new baby.
We are lucky enough to already have a toddler who just turned two; without him I think I would have found everything much harder to cope with. Hope that doesn’t come across as insensitive.
We’re not currently ttc, have decided to wait for post mortem results and FMU review before we go ahead. Hopefully only a couple more weeks, I am desperate to get started.
Sorry for rambling intro, just needed to get it out!

JO138 · 05/02/2020 18:13

@Treaclepie19 that's a relief. Glad you got someone to listen.

I have totally gone backwards today and I'm miserable, nauseous and in a very foul mood as a result. I am home now and have told DH I feel rotten and I'm going to bed. His response "if I'd known you're not eating dinner I would have stayed at work" 🤬🤬🤬🤬 Definitely did not improve my mood!

ShootingStar2020 · 05/02/2020 21:47

Hello @fretnot and @NoSuchThing. So sorry to hear both of your stories. We are here to help.

@Treaclepie19 - you sound better. Will be good to get the reassurance.

@JO138 - rough day. Oh noooo. Poor you. Have a lovely early night.

@Mangoandbroccoli - hope you are feeling a bit brighter. It’s so hard to feel positive at this point in your cycle. I am sure all the bloody hormones add to the despair. I did find last year that when I stopped testing and drank loads of rose on holiday we got pregnant. It was the one month I almost forgot about it. Unfortunately no chance of that happening now but you still have loads of time and it will all come good. Hopefully your nice stuff coming up will help.

JO138 · 06/02/2020 07:15

@NoSuchThing I'm sorry I didn't see your message yesterday before I posted my whinge. 😬 Hope you are doing ok today.

Treaclepie19 · 06/02/2020 07:29

Welcome @NosuchThing Flowers

Thanks both, I do feel relieved just to have it in place. Knowing the first step is only Monday feels so much better than waiting weeks.

Hope you're feeling better this morning @JO138.

JO138 · 06/02/2020 09:37

Thanks @Treaclepie19. Unfortunately it's just not my week. DS came in to our room at 230am upset about something and it took over 90 min to get him back to sleep. He's not done that in ages! Was a late nursery drop and in dawdling in to the office now.

How are you feeling,? Any better?

Treaclepie19 · 06/02/2020 09:39

Oh gosh :( it's no fun when they do that is it? Hope your day improves!

I'm okay thanks, still crampy but nothing major. Feeling a bit teary today though so going to try and focus my attention on something (if I can work out what 😂)

Mangoandbroccoli · 07/02/2020 15:58

So sorry to see you in this position too @NoSuchThing, but welcome.

@JO138 Hope your day has been better today!

JO138 · 07/02/2020 16:28

@Treaclepie19 and @Mangoandbroccoli thank you. Today has been a lovely day because I'm off work with DS and we've had a little morning out at a craft studio and pub lunch. I have to say I'm now completely exhausted and we are back in parenting a la television! 😬

I have also learned that pub lunch leads to afternoon of indigestion! But the chips were so good!

I'm solo parent again this weekend so preparing myself mentally.

How's everyone today? TGIF!

Mangoandbroccoli · 07/02/2020 17:45

@JO138 Ah that sounds lovely!

So, I'm slightly approaching you all with my tail between my legs today for being an absolute whinge bag this week. Is there any chance I can blame it on hormones? Because I took a test this morning... and it was only flipping POSITIVE!!!!! Shocked doesn't begin to cover it! Met dh for a pub lunch and presented said test to him in a box after telling him I'd bought him a present - he was surprised as me after my cries of 'it's all over!' all week long 🙈😂

JO138 · 07/02/2020 18:14

🤣🤣🤣 @Mangoandbroccoli that's amazing news! I saw you message notifications earlier today on my phone and when it popped up I actually thought "eek she's pregnant!" Obviously was not going to tell you that!

Huge congratulations! Let the whinging begin! You've got some serious competition here!

But that's fantastic news! Another one bites the dust in the month when they don't think their in with a chance! Thrilled for you!

Mangoandbroccoli · 07/02/2020 18:21

Aw that's so funny and really sweet, thanks @JO138 🥰 I never test early but was pretty sure period was due tomorrow and just thought 'right, I'm going to see this negative and then I can get over it, move on and have a nice weekend' 😂 Definitely not sunk in and one day at a time and all that but very excited today that it's even a possibility 😊 I'll tell you the secret conception plan I followed... book a long haul flight to a country that turns out to not be recommended for pregnant women 😂🙈

JO138 · 07/02/2020 18:36

Ha ha. Well if you are anything like me another half dozen tests will help it sink in!
We had a similar conception secret..... Sell your house so you'll be 6 mths pregnant and homeless and plan a move to the other side of the world where you won't have medical insurance because you are now deemed "uninisurable"! To say we have complicated things is an understatement! Stress is high at the mo but we'll get there!

I hope it was a work trip so at least not your expense! But either way totally worth it!

Treaclepie19 · 07/02/2020 19:13

Oh my days @Mangoandbroccoli that's such brilliant news!!! Hooray :)

Glad you've had a better day @JO138

Well, after moaning for over 2 weeks about no symptoms... I've spent today falling asleep, have sore boobs and the past hour I've been dry heaving 🙈🤢

I really hope this means good news at mondays scan 🤞😕

Mangoandbroccoli · 07/02/2020 19:31

@JO138 Noooooo!!!! Yikes, we don't make it easy for ourselves, do we?! Ours is actually a holiday that we booked ourselves (and clearly didn't thoroughly research 🤪) but I did get travel insurance both on the off chance that it had to be cancelled either due to pregnancy or potentially even coronavirus at this rate as it's in Asia so we'll see 🙈

@Treaclepie19 Thank you and everything crossed for you for your next hurdle on Monday 🤞🏼

ShootingStar2020 · 07/02/2020 21:48

@Mangoandbroccoli - woohoooo!! That’s awesome news. So chuffed for you. The test in a box for DH was such a lovely idea. As you say, each day at a time but you are one month closer to your rainbow. 🌈❤️

@JO138 - good luck for this weekend. The electronic babysitter is always available if you need a nap.

@Treaclepie19 - the dreaded 6 week mark!! Take it easy if you can. Everything crossed for Monday.

Happy Friyay lovely ladies xxx

Treaclepie19 · 07/02/2020 22:01

Thanks @shootingstar2020 😊
You did all warn me it would be 6 weeks! I'm 5+5 today so it surprised me.
Ugh I'm going to bed! Our 4yo will be up at 5.30 so I really should get some sleep 🙈

MummyBearBoo · 08/02/2020 09:56

Hey girls not sure if any of you remember me I've got a little girl and lost 2 boys due to TFMR I've just found out today that I'm pregnant again after we finally decided to try last month again- this will be our 3rd attempt for a second healthy baby I'm only just 4 weeks so it's really early days and I know the next 7 weeks too they do the test are going to drag!! There is only a 50/50 chance the baby will be ok! Anyone got any ideas what I can do to feel less stressed I'd usually go to the gym but don't feel up to it! Xxx

fretnot · 08/02/2020 10:32

Sorry to hear of your two losses, MummyBearBoo. How incredibly painful. But congrats to you and Mangoandbroccoli - what a journey we’re all on!

I still can’t feel too invested in this pregnancy at 17 weeks. It’s been my way of coping but scratch the surface and I’m not sure how useful it’s been. One of you mentioned trying to fully enjoy it as it comes and that’s probably a lot wiser.

MummyBearBoo · 08/02/2020 11:33

I need to try and stay detached I think which is hard when I have two scans at 8 weeks and 11 weeks before I get the results!! Xx

fretnot · 08/02/2020 12:08

I asked to have the screen switched off at both those scans, as I knew it would be just too hard to watch. Try to find a little mantra to block the worrisome thought as, maybe? You have just as much a chance of everything being ok this time, it sounds like!

fretnot · 08/02/2020 12:09

Thoughts, not thought as!

JO138 · 08/02/2020 12:47

@mummybearboo I do remember you. Congratulations on your pregnancy and will be thinking of you. I have just passed the 13 week mark and we've navigated a 9 week scan, SAFE test and 12 week scan with combined test. It was definitely a stressful time not helped by sickness and insane fatigue.

I've managed the gym only twice but really my coping mechanism has been pampering. Early bed, warm baths, walks at lunch just by myself and my headphones,
little treats like manis and pedis, facials. Just little things to ease the stress and take my mind off things. It's been rather expensive and but successful. I'm missing massages like mad! It's definitely difficult to stay detached when you have to adjust pretty much everything you do, eat feel for the little bub. Do take care. X