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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 5

984 replies

Conorgog · 07/08/2019 10:28

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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Mangoandbroccoli · 14/01/2020 21:05

Omg the probe scan (agh I know it well!) and vibrator!! I have images of you opening it up in front of family on Christmas Day 🤣🤣🤣

JO138 · 14/01/2020 21:17

@Treaclepie19 I've called the midwife and booked my combined bloods for the 28th so by the time I have my 12 week scan on the 4th of February we'll have SAFE test and combined test then the NT.

@Mini12 from what I can gather the NIPT is more accurate for for the common T21 Edward's and Pataus but the combined test has a much broader indication of a possible issue. No real relaxing until February 4th for me!

Conorgog · 17/01/2020 15:20

Hi all, how are we doing?

How’s the nausea @JO138?

I had my scan and bloods done this morning for NIPT, the scan was pointless, I refused an internal - as I decided I had already had a consultant do the 12 week scan, but she still went through and ‘checked’ the heart, spine etc which I was a bit 👀 at because I know it’s not that accurate at this stage. I then may or may not have got in a slight debate with them about the claims of NIPT accuracy - they said it was 99% which isn’t true it’s 99% and of those 87% will have an issue for t21. Anyway call it hormones/lack of sleep and the fact I’ve read so much on NIPT tests my head could burst, I should have just found somewhere that did the Plain simple blood test. Spouting medical journal results at someone who isn’t interested, wasn’t fun for anyone at 9am this morning. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂😂

Everything looked fine though, same due date as before. Results back in 3 to 5 working days!

Nausea still on and off which I’m dying to be rid of. Garrrgh

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Treaclepie19 · 17/01/2020 15:39

@Mini12 yeah that's right. The NIPT is pretty accurate for the main 3. Otherwise other things can still be picked up.

Glad all went well today @Conorgog.
I don't blame you for getting frustrated with them.

I'm currently not feeling great. Going to head to the drs monday I think and see what's going on.
Off out for a friends 30th tonight so that should be fun. Cd20 but we only dtd once on day 14 so its doubtful.

Mini12 · 17/01/2020 20:18

@Conorgog Happy that all looked fine! I know what you mean about all the researcaking your head explode! I wake up thinking about it all!

@Treaclepie19 Hope Gp can give you some answers, hope your feeling better soon

@JO138 has nausea subsided at all?
I have 1st 8 wk scan 2 days before you on 2nd Feb 🤞

ShootingStar2020 · 17/01/2020 20:33

@Treaclepie19 - sorry you are not feeling great. Hope you can enjoy your night out.

@Conorgog - good to hear all is well. You are now in your second trimester which is exciting!

@Mangoandbroccoli - my “gift” is staying well hidden 😂. DD is 6 next month and so loves trying on clothes, shoes etc from my cupboard so nothing is sacred anymore!!

@Mini12 - how are you feeling? Hoping the time is going quickly for you.

My period arrived yesterday so onwards and upwards!! Third one since the TMFR and definitely the heaviest which is strange. Weirdly I am also going to the loo more at night. V annoying.

Happy Friyay ladies. 😘

Mangoandbroccoli · 17/01/2020 21:18

@ShootingStar2020 Oh god can you imagine: 'mummy, what's THIS?' 😱🤣 Really sorry period showed up but let's keep everything crossed for this month! I'm on cd 8 now so better start putting in some effort again soon. I'm just bloody knackered 🙈

@Conorgog Another hurdle ticked! Let's hope they're nice and speedy with sending over brilliantly uneventful results xx

@DinoGreen Still thinking of you and hope you're as ok as is possible under the circumstances ❤️

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend, illnesses and nausea aside.

Treaclepie19 · 18/01/2020 08:07

Thanks all, I had a lovely night. (Too lovely, there was way too much alcohol)
Definitely need to see the gp, I had my gall bladder removed 2 years ago and I've started getting pain there alongside other symptoms. Needs checking I reckon.
@ShootingStar2020 I'm sorry your period showed up. Will keep everything crossed for you.

JO138 · 18/01/2020 08:11

@Conorgog Nothing wrong with a little debate. 😊 All the poking and prodding does get to me after a while. I do feel like there tends to be a bit of a trend of treating pregnant women a bit like children which can be frustrating. My midwife gave me a lecture on even if I nauseous I need to be eating fruit followed and by how I need to drink less wine when I am finished breast feeding I just thought oh shut-up I'm a 40 year old adult who also maintains the life of a healthy 3 year old!

@Mini12 I have to say the early scan was nicer than I thought it would be. Obviously doesn't take all the worry away but its always nice to have a look! Not long now!

@Treaclepie19 I hope you are feeling better and can get some relief from the GP.

@shootingstar2020 onwards and upwards! Fingers crossed for next month!

I am still pretty nauseous and exhausted but I feel like it's getting a bit better. Yesterday I was ok most of the day then got sick out of the blue when I walked through the door with DS from nursery. There is no rhyme or reason. I have my NIPT bloods on Wednesday. Not feeling too anxious but definitely very keen to get the result. 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

JO138 · 18/01/2020 11:04

Soooo I'm feeling slightly less relaxed than I was when I woke up. Have been reading about NIPT and the potential of getting a high and going through the limbo hell of waiting for a CVS and the potential of having another termination I am freaking the fuck out! 😭😩

5 days to NIPT 10 days to results........

ShootingStar2020 · 18/01/2020 12:24

@JO138 - it is so so understandable that you are feeling up and down during this waiting period. It is torture but hope has to overcome fear. Can you do something nice for yourself this weekend as a treat? Might help distract you. Sending positive vibes and hugs xxxxx

JO138 · 18/01/2020 18:33

Thanks @ShootingStar2020. I actually got back in bed after lunch and had a nap the read a book and left DS with hubby outside doing "jobs". It was bliss. I think everything is just so much worse because I'm shattered.

JO138 · 19/01/2020 13:23

Well things are going from bad to worse here I've woken up not feeling too bad then went to the loo and I've got brown discharge when I wipe. I've had a mild panic and called the pregnancy advice line and spoken to a midwife.

She made me feel slightly better as, sorry TMI I've been quite constipated 😬🙄 and she thinks it's likely related to straining.

I felt better for about 15 secs and now I have Googled myself back in to a total panic wondering why I don't feel that nauseous this morning and squeezing my boobs to see if they are still sore. I do have a bit of a crampy tummy but I have for a few days because I've been so bunged up. Ugh.....more stress.

I'm just sitting on the couch in my white (and clothes 🤣) granny pants checking every 10 mins to make sure nothing has gotten worse.....

Treaclepie19 · 19/01/2020 13:26

@JO138 Oh lovely :( How many weeks are you now?
It can be normal, definitely. Will keep all crossed for you ❤

I've managed to convince myself I'm going to be pregnant this month even though we only dtd once. Gah.

JO138 · 19/01/2020 15:20

@Treaclepie19 I am 9 weeks 5 days. Had the scan on Tuesday which was 9 weeks on the day and everything was fine.

Definitely was not thinking about miscarriage after the scan going well.

I'm just trying to relax with DS watching a film. 😭

Treaclepie19 · 19/01/2020 15:59

Well the good thing is that the chance of miscarriage is so low at this point. Relaxing with a film sounds a good idea ❤

Conorgog · 19/01/2020 17:18

Oh @JO138 knicker watch, I know it well. If it’s brown that’s ok (from what I’ve read) it’s old blood. I think with my miscarriage I got pink spots then just full out bleeding, so based on that I think you will be okay 🙂. Relaxing is best way to go.

@Treaclepie19 Hope your ok, def head back to GP, and keep pushing for an answer, ‘she who shouts the loudest’ is helpful!

@Mangoandbroccoli good luck for next few days! Will be crossing fingers for you!

@ShootingStar2020 let’s hope this period is a big ole clear out, ready for next month!

OP posts:
JO138 · 19/01/2020 18:01

Thanks @Treaclepie19 and @conorgog. I've managed to get out for a walk around the block but that's about it. Had a nap and watched TV.

I'm still having brown spotting. Not a lot but one or 2 drops on a pantyliner. I'm definitely worried but I suppose there isn't much I can do either way.

@conorgog do you remember how long it took before you knew something was awry? I've had this for about 7 hours now with really no change. And I'm definitely still suffering pregnancy symptoms. Got in from my lovely fresh air walk just in time to be sick. 🤢😬

Treaclepie19 · 19/01/2020 18:04

Thanks @Conorgog I'm planning on going tomorrow. It's just uncomfortable but along with the nausea I'm a bit concerned so will definitely see what they say.

@JO138 I had a miscarriage before my DS1 and it definitely escalated quickly with the bleeding. With DS2 (TFMR) I had spotting on and off and some very heavy bleeding that turned out to not even be affecting him.

Conorgog · 19/01/2020 18:28

@JO138 very quickly, like two hours. I think it hadn’t developed past 5 or 6 weeks, so given you had a good 9 week scan, hopefully your in a much ‘safer’ zone!

OP posts:
JO138 · 19/01/2020 18:37

Thanks @treaclepie19 I hope you are feeling better and get some answers tomorrow.

It really is so hard to know what the right thing to do is. The midwife on the phone was definitely interested in what I was saying not at all dismissive but not at all concerned either. She didn't say anything about watching out for it to get worse and never once mentioned miscarriage. She simply said to call back if anything worried me further. It really hasn't changed or escalated so I am now just praying that it is not an issue and just another stress of pregnancy.

🤞

Mangoandbroccoli · 19/01/2020 19:23

So sorry for the additional stress @JO138, you really don't need that! As everyone else has said, though, hopefully it's just another annoying pregnancy thing and nothing to worry about. I remember that awful bloated feeling, too - prune juice made me gag but definitely helped! Have you been taking iron tablets? That resulted in horrendous 'blocking up' for me but the liquid version can be far better if needed.

Thanks @Conorgog! My Ava bracelet has pushed ovulation back slightly, so hopefully I'll get back in time from my work trip to actually make it possible!

Not sure if this has already been asked here, but I was wondering if anyone knows why we automatically have the 1:100 high risk result for a pregnancy following a tfmr? Before getting more specific results that is, and assuming the condition isn't hereditary. We were simultaneously told by consultants that we were just unlucky and the chances of the same thing happening again aren't increased as a result... but that's somewhat contradictory to also being told we'd be high risk 🤔

JO138 · 19/01/2020 20:34

@Mangoandbroccoli thanks. I'm starting to feel a bit more relaxed. Just need to see what the next few days bring. I've tried prune yogurt. Definitely made me gag. 🤢 The midwife told me today I should be drinking at least 3L of water a day!

My consultant explained to me that because I'm 40 😬 my risk is 1:100 statistically. But then it is again increased by 25% due to our previous diagnosis. So I'm closer to 1:75. But I don't actually know why the risk is increased if it's a "random" event.

Treaclepie19 · 19/01/2020 21:00

I think it's just the way the stats work, so if you've been high risk once you're more at risk again. I wonder if they mainly do it so you get extra care?
Not sure.

ShootingStar2020 · 19/01/2020 21:38

@JO138 - hope you are feeling better. To reassure, like others with my miscarriages they all happened and escalated pretty quickly (eg hours). With DS I had brown spotting around 8/9 weeks and I was told to take it easy. It eased off.

If the constipation continues see if you can get some lactulose. Health food shops also now have some really good fibre supplements. I had constipation really badly with all my pregnancies particularly due to the progesterone suppositories I have to use. It is so glamorous!!! The things we have to put up with. But it is all worth it 😂😂😂

Just watched Call the midwife. Always sets me off!

Sunday night hugs to all xxxx