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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 5

984 replies

Conorgog · 07/08/2019 10:28

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

OP posts:
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ShootingStar2020 · 07/01/2020 21:57

@JO138 - hope appointment went well.

@Mini12 - doesn’t sound weird at all. Understandably I think all of us will use some form of self preservation to deal with whatever circumstances we face. I have no doubt it is tough but you are pregnant and that is wonderful for this moment in time. Hugs.

I am 6DPO (I think). Used the clear blue digital and went straight from nothing to static smiley on CD14 so not sure what happened to the flashing! Am shattered but think that is just being back at work. Is it Friday yet?!

Xxxx

JO138 · 08/01/2020 10:29

@ShootingStar2020 The exact same thing happened to me with the clearblue OPKs on the cycle I got pregnant. I did a test in the morning CD13, nothing just the depressing circle. Then I got home from work that evening and (sorry tmi) had quite a bit of EW CM so I did another test. Straight to static smiley face. I had a shower and dragged DH upstairs before dinner because I was thinking that we had missed the window! 😋

Conorgog · 08/01/2020 11:15

Oooooo fingers crossed @ShootingStar2020
like @JO138 that’s what happened to me - but with the plain stick things - nothing - then it was there!

@Mini12 totally get you on not telling anyone - I have told one friend who has been going through something similar - and just my partner. I won’t be telling anyone else (including my work) till well after I have my NIPT done (next Friday) and results back. I didn’t tell anyone with my first pregnancy till I was 20 weeks - I sort of hate extra attention too...

@DinoGreen still thinking of you xxxx

OP posts:
Mini12 · 08/01/2020 16:05

@ShootingStar2020 good luck and fingers crossed for you! I know your right, I feel I can be happy and open on this thread at least! Self preservation is exactly what it is and @Conorgog I'm exactly the same I hate being centre of attention!! So much so I eloped on my wedding day!! Ha

I spoke to a nurse at the early pregnancy unit today and she's booked me a scan at 8 weeks for reassurance but when I asked about NIPT (obviously I know id have to pay) she kind of put me off a bit and said, as I found out there were anomalies from last pregnancy on 12 week scan the next 12 week scan would most likely pick up anything, and i wouldnt get results of NIPT sooner than the 12 week scan anyway? Could I take the NIPT after the scan if still concerned?

ShootingStar2020 · 08/01/2020 21:17

Thanks ladies. That’s really encouraging although not getting any hopes up as it is first month. Last year it took 4 months which I was over the moon about given my age 😂.

@DinoGreen - hope you are ok xxx

Conorgog · 08/01/2020 22:15

@Mini12 this is what I had to face except I didn’t know exactly when I would be 10 weeks and my dates were all around Xmas/NY.

You could for sure if you def knew your date do an NIPT before the 12 week scan.

Turn around times depend on where you get tested and what NIPT you go for (and if results are processed in the UK).
Harmony and SAFE test are (they say) between 3-5 working days.

I decided to wait for the 12 week scan (and find out my EDD) and PaPP A levels etc - if there was something amiss I would have gone directly for a cvs. They said my 12 week scan looks good (so now for peace of mind) I’m getting an NIPT done privately next week when I will be 13.6.

Hope that helps!

OP posts:
Mangoandbroccoli · 09/01/2020 08:09

I'm feeling so low today 😞 Temps are crashing again which means period will show up soon (it's really that accurate). I just don't know how much more heartache and failed cycles I can take.

JO138 · 09/01/2020 08:40

@Mangoandbroccoli I'm so sorry. I know how hard and disappointing it is. How long have you been trying for now?

I know its easier said than done and totally hypocritical of me to say but try not to get too down. Stress and worry are not going to change anything and will only put pressure on you. Maybe do something nice that you can't do when you are pregnant like go get a nice massage.

Thinking of you. 😊

Mangoandbroccoli · 09/01/2020 09:15

Thanks @JO138. It's over a year since we started trying but then we had the loss in June. We were desperate to try again straight away and told we could but bleeding didn't then stop for another 3 months when I had the d&e for retained placenta. Finally then able to actively try and it's been a further 4 failed months since - which I know isn't long in itself but obviously been so long since we started the whole journey 😣 I'll be fine and going to do some hot yoga etc but it's just so hard constantly going through the cycle of hope and positivity to the reality of depressing news. I eat so healthily, exercise regularly, don't smoke or drink and it makes me wonder why I bother! 🙈

ShootingStar2020 · 09/01/2020 09:31

@Mangoandbroccoli - poor you. It’s so blinking hard and unfair. As you say, while the most recent 4 months is not that long it feels like an eternity when you want something so much and you have had so much pain to deal with.

I know it won’t help me saying this but hang in there and do what you know will make you feel better like hot yoga. I think I might start accupucture again as I love that. Have you given it a go?

2020 will be a better year for all of us xxxx

Mangoandbroccoli · 09/01/2020 09:51

Thanks @ShootingStar2020. I know I'll be ok again tomorrow just need to go through the angry stage today!

I feel a bit disheartened with acupuncture sadly. I've always preferred to go down natural routes and have tried it at two different stages to treat things that ended up needing medical assistance anyway. I'm sure that's not the fault of acupuncture but it's a bit like the feeling I'm having now of always making such an effort to lead a healthy lifestyle and still getting slapped in the face 😬

You should definitely try it though - I'm sure it's efficacy is largely dependent on your heart being in it so hopefully you'll be able to benefit from it 😊

Treaclepie19 · 09/01/2020 13:59

I'm so sorry @Mangoandbroccoli
It's really unfair and I hope it happens really soon for you. For now take time to allow yourself to be upset and focus on treating yourself xxx

Mini12 · 10/01/2020 09:11

@Conorgog Thanks for that info it helps, I'll speak to hubby but guess it all depends on how it looks on the scans. Feeling a bit worried at the moment just because I've not had many pregnancy symptoms and that was same as last pregnancy, trying not to think about it though until I have too.Confused

@Mangoandbroccoli I'm so sorry it's not happened for you this month x

Mangoandbroccoli · 10/01/2020 09:44

Thanks ladies xx

Period turned up to confirm everything this morning so its onwards and upwards for the next cycle 💪🏻

Fingers staying firmly crossed for you @ShootingStar2020 🤞🏼

JO138 · 10/01/2020 09:45

@mini12 I was very similar and was worried that I didn't have any symptoms or sickness. Then a couple days before 6 weeks I woke up exhausted and feeling incredibly sick and it hasn't let up since. 🤢😥

So don't worry. Its early days. You'll be missing these symptom free days soon enough. 😋

ShootingStar2020 · 10/01/2020 10:34

Thanks @Mangoandbroccoli!

@Mini12 - hang in there. With both my pregnancies for DD and DS I had very few symptoms. The last pregnancy I felt so sick. It varies so much but I know that doesn’t necessarily help you right now but I hope can give some comfort. As @JO138 says they will turn up with some clout when you least expect it. Big hugs xxxx

I have to go to hospital this morning for my post TFMR check up. It was cancelled from end Nov. It’s going to be v weird walking through the anti natal clinic etc 🙁

Conorgog · 10/01/2020 11:41

@Mangoandbroccoli so sorry, on to the next month, it will happen, 2020 is the year.

@ShootingStar2020 you get a post TFMR check up, that’s great. What does it entail?

@Mini12, I think I’ve said before but I had no nausea with my first child, nausea for pregnancy that ended in Tfmr, then no nausea which ended in a miscarriage and hideous nausea now (which is tailing off a bit thank goodness), so no rhyme or reason for it!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend!

OP posts:
JO138 · 10/01/2020 16:18

@Conorgog I'm going to keep faith I'd you are feeling better. I'm feeling absolutely f%^& rotten today. Completely exhausted and the nausea had turned to heaving and I am terrified of going out.

I'm also very crampy today which is freaking me out. I've been wfh today and I was going to do 2 things. Wash DS bedding and wash my hair! I've done neither and I've just had a little cry on the way to waitrose.

It's my wedding anniversary and I think I'll be going to sleep with DS again.

😭

ShootingStar2020 · 10/01/2020 16:43

@JO138 - sounds like a rough day. Really hope you can relax tonight and have some nice food for your anniversary.

What is it about Waitrose and hormones?! I walked round there after my diagnosis looking a wreck!

@Conorgog - the appointment was really just a chat to see how we were. They suggested that due to my miscarriage history I also start taking baby aspirin now while we are trying. Anything which feels like it can help is good I suppose. They were really positive though which was nice.

Thank crunchie it is Friday. Xxxx

Mini12 · 10/01/2020 17:09

H@Conorgog @JO138 @shootingstar2020 I know your all right, I even said on a post a while back to someone else "there's no rhyme or reason all pregnancy's are different" funny how you can give advice or help others when it comes to yourself you forget all logic!! Thanks for reminding me!

Have a good weekend all off to have a big bar of chocolate and Nosecco!!

Mangoandbroccoli · 10/01/2020 19:10

Oh no sorry to hear that @JO138 😞 Hope you manage to celebrate it one way or another.

@Mini12 Another one here with no symptoms whatsoever for my first and very smooth pregnancy.

@ShootingStar2020 I'm so glad they gave you a follow up appointment and have offered some advice re aspirin - like you say, just nice to feel you're being proactive in what is otherwise such an uncontrollable journey.

Just realIsed my next fertile window falls on a week when I'm away from home on business for the majority of it and then my dad's coming to stay the night I'm back 🤪🙈

JO138 · 11/01/2020 09:23

@Mangoandbroccoli that's disappointing. I sometimes feel like now that we can know our cycles so much better it actually causes more stress! It only takes one good go so fingers crossed you will get at least one chance! 😋

And sorry for my whinge yesterday. I am just feeling so rubbish and I am really struggling to stay positive. I think maybe if the scan looks good next week I will relax a bit and know that it is not all for nothing. But also I had an early scan last time and a lotta good that did so I really need to get to 10/11 weeks and get this SAFE test done. I have never tried so hard to get pregnant and never not enjoyed being pregnant so much! It's hard enough being so sick but then combined with the uncertainty it's been a tough month!

Treaclepie19 · 11/01/2020 19:19

Hope you're all okay ladies ❤
It's been an odd weekend here so far. I'm not feeling great again. Not sure what's going on with my body recently!
Despite DH being unsure about ttc we seem to be taking a "let's wait and see" approach. Cd14 and we dtd today.

Mini12 · 12/01/2020 12:08

@JO138 don't be hard on yourself, I totally get it, your well within your right to have a whinge! I am refusing to even acknowledge I'm pregnant at the moment, if I talk about it with OH I feel I'm tempting fate. I just I can't enjoy it until I know more from 12 weeks scan! Must feel like the longest 12 weeks of our lives! Hopefully after 12 weeks and safe test your symptoms will subside and you'll feel brighter! Hopefully you'l have a lot to feel happy about and may want to celebrate or treat yourself! How many weeks until your scan?

Mini12 · 12/01/2020 12:09

@Treaclepie19 maybe it's good to take the pressure off for a bit with the wait and see approach!