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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 5

984 replies

Conorgog · 07/08/2019 10:28

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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Mini12 · 02/01/2020 20:38

@DinoGreen oh that's good your oh reminded you about last time! Hold tight for Monday will be here before you know!!

I feel like I should have wrote a journal of both my previous pregnancy's to the T! One min I have cramps the next I'm thinking "oh my skin looks glowy!! Well time will tell!

Mini12 · 02/01/2020 20:40

@Mangoandbroccoli I think we deserve a drink at the very least if period shows up!!

Yes Ur right 6 days either side - sounds like alot though!! Ha

Mangoandbroccoli · 02/01/2020 21:24

@Mini12 Too bloody right!! (Pardon the pun 🙈 ) 🍷🥂🍾🍸🍹

ShootingStar2020 · 02/01/2020 21:27

Thanks ladies!! Here’s hoping! DH is worn out! 😂

@DinoGreen - hope you are feeling better tonight. I had brown spotting with DS (all fine) and agree with others that it is common but I know it is easier said than done not to worry. Hugs xx

@Mangoandbroccoli - I reckon our eggs should be ripe for the picking! Given that mini eggs are now in the shops (yum but scary!) I might have to invest. They will no doubt help!

@Mini12- hope you are feeling ok.

Xxx

DinoGreen · 02/01/2020 21:42

It’s not looking too good for me I don’t think - still not heavier than spotting but it’s now bright red and there’s more of it when I wipe than there was before. I’ll just have to see what tonight and tomorrow brings but I’m not feeling very optimistic now. How much bad luck does one person deserve 😢

JO138 · 02/01/2020 22:21

@dinogreen I don't know what to say. I'm desperately hoping everything is ok and you are getting some rest. Will keep my fingers crossed that it's nothing more than a scary shitty pregnancy symptom. X x

Mini12 · 03/01/2020 08:42

@DinoGreen Are you able to get checked out at all? I know my midwife said (1st time) that if I had any scarey symptoms before 14 weeks to go to hospital? May be worth going to put mind at rest? I'm sure if there scanning on Monday they can scan today to check on you? Sending hugs x

Conorgog · 03/01/2020 09:03

Happy NY all!

Oh Dino, hope your okay, when I miscarried last time I had only a tiny bit of spotting then it turned full flow pretty quick, - lots of things can cause spotting in early pregnancy (sex is one!) will be thinking of you today.

Good luck to everyone in TWW, fingers crossed for you! Are mini eggs around now? I will consume some and think of you as I do 😃

How you feeling @JO138? Nausea not getting worse I hope?

I feel like I’m slightly better each day (not telling my partner that as he has taken over doing the child’s bath and bed time so I can ‘rest’ which is bloody great).

Still feel very fatalist that come Monday I will have not great news. Have a number of scenarios running through my mind urgh!

Was looking through my wee and blood test results and saw I had moderate epithelial cells in wee and on the higher side of normal on my white blood count? Hoping this is only from the cold I had but who knows, would a severe cold affect a 7 week pregnancy?

Annnnnyway.

Will let y’all know how I get on, on Monday - I’ve asked if I can go in early that day to have my bloods done (for Papp A etc) so all results will be available by the time I scan at 4pm but haven’t heard back, will see.

Hope everyone has a lovely weekend xx

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JO138 · 03/01/2020 10:03

@Conorgog I will be thinking of you Monday. Are you doing bloods and scan the same day then. My bloods weren't ready last time but they got the results pretty quickly when they needed to. Hopefully you will hear back and be able to go in early. I'm literally counting down the days! First midwife on Tuesday then a week to my early scan then SAFE test in 3 weeks. Will be so nice for you to get some clarity and hopefully you can relax!

I'm 7 weeks tomorrow and I'm actually feeling pretty rough. It's not getting worse but definitely not getting better. Combination of total exhaustion and constant nausea. I'm starting to panic slightly about my ability to go back to work on Monday. My DH is rarely around at bedtime as he's back at work so I've been going to bed after putting DS to bed and leaving DH to fend for himself as I have no interest in dinner these days. 😬 Truth be told my DH is not the most compassionate and hasn't been in any of my pregnancies. He just keeps telling me to go to the doctor as this clearly "isn't normal " but he just doesn't have a $%^^ clue! He actually had the nerve to complain about lack of sex the other day, I wanted to punch him. Pretty par for the course with him I'm afraid.

DinoGreen · 03/01/2020 10:52

Thanks for the messages ladies. I was more hopeful this morning as there was no further bleeding overnight or anything when I wiped, but now it has started again and is heavier and more like a period. So things really aren’t looking too good. I called the EPU but you can’t self refer and even if I get my GP to refer me, they said the earliest they could see me is Monday which is when I have my scan booked anyway, so there is nothing that can be done. I know there is still a small chance things are ok - I do know of people who have had quite heavy bleeds in early pregnancy - but things are not looking promising so more or less resigning myself to it all being over now. I don’t think I can go through this heartache again so maybe we will just stick with the one we’ve got.

JO138 · 03/01/2020 11:33

Oh @dinogreen I'm so sorry. I can't imagine the rollercoaster of emotions. I really hope it all turns out ok.

I was thinking this morning about getting a bad scan result again and I think that we would just stay as we are with one as well. Too much heartache.

Will be thinking of you and really hope for a positive outcome monday. X x

DinoGreen · 03/01/2020 16:27

Urgh I wish I just knew what was going on 😡 bleeding has continued all day today and it’s bright red but it’s not really THAT much? Like the first or last day of a period. I would have expected more for a miscarriage. Then again I also feel pretty crampy so my body is probably just gearing up for it to go full on over the weekend.

I have my booking in appointment at 9am on Monday and the scan isn’t until the afternoon. I called up to try and rearrange the booking in - I can’t be bothered going through all the boring medical history questions etc and getting notes for a pregnancy which is very likely to be over - but the woman on the phone said I have to go to it because they are so busy that if I don’t take this appointment and it turns out on Monday that I haven’t miscarried, I won’t be able to get another booking in appointment for weeks which will knock back the 12 week scan etc. So she said as horrible as it is I should just go.

I hope everyone else is doing ok x

Mini12 · 03/01/2020 17:37

@DinoGreen so sorry your going through this, I can't imagine how you must feel after everything you've been through to get here again 😢 try to rest as much as possible. Praying that there is some good news on Monday x

ShootingStar2020 · 03/01/2020 19:20

@DinoGreen - you poor girl. My heart goes out to you. Still hoping that all is ok. We are here for you. Keeping everything crossed and hope you can get some good care and advice on Monday. Xxxx

DinoGreen · 03/01/2020 19:48

Thanks for the messages ladies, the support on this thread is invaluable. It’s definitely happening now, I’ve got much heavier bleeding, bad cramps and I just passed what was either a huge clot or was the pregnancy itself, I’m really not sure. Just holing up now for the evening, sent DH out to stock up on pads and painkillers. We will go to the scan on Monday just to confirm it’s all out I guess.

JO138 · 03/01/2020 20:54

@DinoGreen I'm so incredibly sorry for you and your DH. It's just so unbelievably unfair after all you've been through.

Will be thinking of you and I just really hope you are ok as possible and able to get some rest tonight.

So fucking shite. I'm so sorry.

Conorgog · 03/01/2020 21:03

Oh @DinoGreen, I’m so sorry, hope your okay, it’s awful. Thinking of you, will be good to be scanned on Monday to see what’s what.

Don’t let this get you down, when I went through it someone here said it’s natures way of being kind (unsure if that’s totally unhelpful to you at this point).

BIG hug, here for you x

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Mangoandbroccoli · 03/01/2020 21:14

Oh @DinoGreen I'm so so sorry 😞 This is just so incredibly cruel and unfair. There are just no words. I'm thinking of you though xx

Mangoandbroccoli · 04/01/2020 20:40

How are you doing @DinoGreen? Been thinking about you all day x

SylvanianFrenemies · 04/01/2020 21:27

So sorry @DinoGreen. Life can be so fucking unfair Flowers

DinoGreen · 05/01/2020 07:57

Hi ladies. I’m doing ok thank you. Physically the worst of it is over I think - not really crampy anymore and bleeding has slowed back to normal period levels. Overall compared to some of the experiences I’ve read on the miscarriage board it really wasn’t that bad which leads me to think the baby must have died quite a few weeks ago and been very small.

I’m resting up again today and coming to terms with our family being complete at 3. I just don’t think I crave a second child enough to put myself through anything like this again. I feel guilty that I won’t be giving DS a sibling but we’ve had a good shot at it and two losses is enough for me.

ShootingStar2020 · 05/01/2020 09:06

@DinoGreen - there are no words other than to say we understand and are here to support. It sounds like the physical side is running it’s course and I hope you are able to rest as much as you need.

The whole process of TTC is such an emotional rollercoaster. Some of my friends had it so easy and don’t understand. Others have had a tough journey like us. Whatever happens I suppose all we can do is keep putting one foot in front of the other. This is despite all the heartbreak.

If you have made a decision then that might help you over the next weeks/months but whatever happens you have support here.

❤️❤️

Mini12 · 05/01/2020 17:01

@DinoGreen so sorry, like @ShootingStar2020 said, there are no words to comfort you, just glad it wasn't as horrendous as you've read about.

Here for you if you want to talk x

JO138 · 05/01/2020 18:24

@dinogreen I'm so sorry. I hope you are doing as well as possible and coming to terms. I really can't imagine what you are going through but we are definitely all here to support you.
This past 6 mths has been such a rollercoaster and I honestly don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found you guys. To be honest I don't actually remember how we did connect but you've been such a lifesaver!
Are you still going to the appointment tomorrow? Have you got the day off? I hope you can get at least a bit of time to process and start healing.

Take care of yourself and will be thinking of you.x

Mangoandbroccoli · 05/01/2020 19:20

I can completely understand how you'd come to that feeling and decision @DinoGreen and I hope that offers some help and peace in terms of getting through this awful stage. You only need to take one day at a time at the moment though and hopefully look after yourself as best you can xx

I hope everyone else is doing ok with whatever nerve racking stage you're currently at. I'm about 5dpo I think and have convinced myself it's not going to happen, despite timings being good I think. Not sure if it's a defeatist or self-preservation attitude but whatever gets you through each stage, right?!