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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 5

984 replies

Conorgog · 07/08/2019 10:28

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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ShootingStar2020 · 27/12/2019 06:52

Hope everyone had a great Christmas and are feeling ok and not too anxious. Heading back to London after a lovely 4 days in Yorkshire with DH’s parents. Looking forward to getting home!! 😂. DH and I were up at 5am both days but still ended up being the last to bed on Xmas Day. Snuck in the Xmas Gavin & Stacey just the two of us after a long day!

It would now appear that everyone is pregnant in DH’s family which is happy news but I found all the scan pictures and announcements quite tough.

Not long until 2020 and our new decade!

ShootingStar2020 · 27/12/2019 06:54

Hello and Merry Christmas @SylvanianFrenemies - hang in there xxx thinking of you xx

Treaclepie19 · 27/12/2019 08:46

Hope everyone has had a lovely Christmas xxx

JO138 · 27/12/2019 09:23

Hope everyone had a lovely Christmas! I've spent the day in bed yesterday absolutely full of a head cold. I've been stressing about not being at all nauseous and as if like clockwork I've woken up this morning, 6 weeks and trying to keep my granola down. Ha ha. Can't believe that I was longing for morning sickness. 🤭

@Mini12 that's hard. I seemed to spend the summer surrounded by pregnant women. It's hard to not be upset. Hope you have a safe journey home.

@SylvanianFrenemies I'm definitely eagerly awaiting the 8 week scan. Mine isn't until the 14th. 🤞

Mini12 · 27/12/2019 11:05

Morning hope everyone had a lovely time!

@ShootingStar2020 Its hard seeing all the announcements, are u actively trying now?

@JO138 isn't that always the way! Hoping for the symptoms but then when they come..... Try anything ginger that helped with mine the first time! Hope you feel better

@SylvanianFrenemies are you having the scan with NHS? Hold tight hopefully will be here in no time!!

I'm trying not to think too much about my next period! I could be disappointed but what will be will be! I did have a few proseccos over last few days and I'm going to be quite busy next week so hoping I will keep my mind off it!!!

JO138 · 27/12/2019 18:27

@Mini12 fingers crossed! The dreaded TWW! It does seem for @DinoGreen @Conorgog and myself it happened in the month when we didn't think we had much of a shot so hopefully this is your month! 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞

I'm fighting off massive waves of nausea and also went for flu shot today and took DS. It's my first day when I didn't want my morning latte. I had a huge coffee aversion with my first pregnancy but not the second so we will see. The ginger is a good shout @mini12. I went to waitrose and bought some ginger shots. Hoping they will calm my stomach. 🤢

DinoGreen · 27/12/2019 20:17

Evening all! @Mini12 fingers crossed for you for this month. The Prosecco should have helped you relax at least!

@JO138 sorry to hear you’ve been feeling sick. I am so lucky, I didn’t get any sickness or nausea at all with either of my previous pregnancies and touch wood, it’s been the same so far with this one - though I have heard of people having it start later. Hope the ginger works for you!

@SylvanianFrenemies when is your scan? Mine is on 6th January so a week on Monday. I have my booking in appointment first on the same day and the scan in the afternoon - I kind of wish the scan was first so that if things aren’t looking good I could have just not bothered with the booking in Sad

SylvanianFrenemies · 27/12/2019 20:51

Thanks all. My scan is NHS and is on the 3rd - exactly 8w. I usually get early/more scans because I'm diabetic, but this one was arranged via the fetal medicine midwife. I'm then going to see her, and my Obstetrician if she's on, straight after. My early scans with my 2 living DCs were bang on for dates. With DS he measured a week behind, which seemed odd. The sonographer wasn't bothered, but now it feels like it was an early sign.

@dinogreen could you postpone your booking in? The foetal medicine midwife advised me not to register for anything til after first scan, precisely to minimise stress.

@JO138 I also got pregnant the month that I wasn't sure when I'd ovulated, and reckoned I'd missed it! Hope this is a good sign for you @Mini12

Does anyone else who is pregnant have a "feeling" about the pregnancy? As in, I always felt that things would be ok with my two living DCs (Dds1&2), and always had niggling worries with my pregnancies which ended in miscarriage and in tfmr. This time I have a good feeling but I'm scared even to admit it, now I know how badly things can go, plus I am ancient (42) so the risks are high.

DinoGreen · 27/12/2019 21:15

@SylvanianFrenemies it’s funny how different things are in different areas isn’t it ... I haven’t been offered the chance to see anyone at all after my scan - it was arranged via the screening midwife but no mention of any follow up. My area is so busy for booking in appointments and they only do them one day a week, I’m already a week later on due to Christmas (I’ll be 9 weeks) and I’m concerned if I postpone it to the following week, my 12 week scan will get knocked on later as well - so I guess I’ll just do it and if things don’t look good at the scan it’s just the way it is.

I’ve only had two pregnancies before this one, my DS and then the T21 one last summer. I didn’t get any feelings of anything being wrong, it was totally out of the blue. This time round I fear something is wrong but I think it’s just my anxiety talking after last time Sad

JO138 · 29/12/2019 11:21

🤢 I have on day 3 of extreme nausea. Not sure about 3 months of this. @conorgog are you feeling any better?

@sylvanianFrenemies I had a really bad feeling about my last pregnancy. I was very subdued about it and was following the 12 week rule with myself! I had maternity clothes in my hands so many times but put them back. I just had a lingering worry.....which unfortunately turned out to be warranted.

I had a bath last night because I was headachy and just feeling a bit shit, not hot hot but 38.5c (had the baby thermometer in 😬) and was reading a pregnancy book. Was lovely until I got to the risk of hot tubs, I then spent the rest of the night worrying about spina bifida. 🤬😴😥 I was never "that pregnant lady" before and always figured common sense would prevail but I have a feeling that I am going to be super paranoid all the way through.

Conorgog · 29/12/2019 12:35

Ha @JO138 I was thinking of you this morning, yes same for me - heartburn for one week then the nausea - so so awful. It feels like it would be better to vomit and then not feel so shit.

I think I’m getting a little better each day now (and then think I’m no longer pregnant when I’m not nauseous), but then it does come back. I’ve found sipping ice cold water helps, Fever Tree ginger beer, and crunchy snacks... feel for you it’s truly awful.

@SylvanianFrenemies

In my T21 pregnancy I was quite detached, even as my partner and I were walking to the scan I said to him, “at least if there is a problem it’s good to catch it early”...

I then thought I was going to be totally fine the pregnancy after that - but I then miscarried. This one who knows, I don’t know what to think really. I think I'm thinking the worst but then that’s to protect/buffer my emotional state if something is wrong...

I think I’m 10 + 2 today - on ovulation date or 11 + 1 based on miscarriage date, glad I didn’t book in the harmony test next week, would have been too hectic with waiting for results etc.

Think of you @Mini12 @Treaclepie19 @ShootingStar2020

@DinoGreen hope your avoiding any of the terrible symptoms!

OP posts:
DinoGreen · 29/12/2019 16:09

Ugh sorry to hear you’re feeling so sick @JO138 😢 I totally get you about worrying about everything like the hot bath though at 38.5 I’m sure you’re fine! I wasn’t taking folic acid pre-conception because we weren’t actually ttc yet so even though I started taking it as soon as I found out, that’s also a fear of mine ... and of course last week when I was getting ovary pains, I was convinced I had an ectopic pregnancy - those have thankfully resolved now so I’m back to just worrying about miscarriage ...

@Conorgog that’s great that you haven’t got too long to wait until your 12 weeks now. I’m 7+5 today and it still feels a way off. Thankfully I’m still avoiding any nausea but starting to feel pretty tired - I remember last time round 8/9 weeks was when I felt most exhausted.

Hope everyone is still enjoying the festive period - I’m still off until after New Year though do have to keep an eye on my emails tomorrow and Tuesday. We’re taking DS to the panto tomorrow which I’m really looking forward to 😊

Mangoandbroccoli · 29/12/2019 19:55

Hi ladies, I hope you all had lovely Christmases! Sorry to hear about all the nausea etc though.

@ShootingStar2020 The announcements are tough, aren't they? I came off Facebook and Instagram following the tfmr as I just couldn't cope with seeing scan pics. Read something that I thought was really spot on re the gut punch feeling which said 'it's not that you'd want anyone else to be unhappy and of course you're pleased for them, but seeing someone else experience something that you're also so desperate for is polarising'. Just thought that was a nice way to put it.

@SylvanianFrenemies Interstingly, I phoned all close friends and family straight after the 12 week scan for my DS. With the little one we lost, I didn't tell anyone after the scan (only told parents, 2 best friends and our son after a private 10 week scan) despite being given the all clear and not receiving that devastating news until the following week. I'm a freelancer and even committed to loads of work around my due date, as though I had a sixth sense that I'd really come to need that to keep me going...

DinoGreen · 01/01/2020 06:33

Happy New Year everyone. We had an early night, then moaned when the fireworks woke us up at midnight 😆

Let’s hope 2020 brings us all good things and better than 2019 x

JO138 · 01/01/2020 09:04

Happy New Year everyone! I'm definitely ready to see in 2020. Here's hoping that it's a better year for all! X

I went to bed and left DH with his bottle of red around 11 but then got shaken out of bed at midnight. 🤬 Was definitely not feeling festive. 🤣

Went to a get together with for a friend back visiting from the states yesterday afternoon. Every woman there had 2 children 3 years apart. I definitely came home and over analysed the 4 year age gap.....again!

ShootingStar2020 · 01/01/2020 13:30

Happy New Year ladies!! Hope you had a good evening whatever it had in store for you! Can’t believe it is 2020!

Really hoping everyone is feeling ok today...whatever the reason for the nausea!

@Mangoandbroccoli and @Mini12 - the announcements are tough particularly when no one really knows what we have been through. It was so terribly different to when I had two miscarriages before DD. However, I am starting this year off knowing we can try again which helps. Got a smily face this morning so the royal jelly is out in force 😂

@Jo138 - getting shaken up doesn’t sound fun! Can you get a nap today?

Wishing us all health and happiness for this new decade! Xxxx

Mini12 · 01/01/2020 15:28

Hi all and Happy new year!

I had a very quiet night and then was rudely awoken by fireworks at midnight!!! Ha

Anyway so glad 2019 is behind me, I should find out this weekend whether I have conceived but I'm having quite a few cramps today so it's prob not happened, which is ok, first time trying so I can't complain!

JO138 · 01/01/2020 16:51

@ShootingStar2020 I have never known our neighbours to be so festive but last year it was epic! I have no idea how DS slept through but it scared the sh1t out of me! I was down the stairs before I actually properly woke up! Going to be an early bed tonight! I am actually dreading having to go back to work next week! I've quite enjoyed my 2 weeks pretty much in my pjs!

@Mini12 fingers firmly crossed! 🤞🤞🤞

Mangoandbroccoli · 01/01/2020 18:35

Happy New Year ladies! May 2020 be happy, healthy, and full of many new babies to add to the lovely success stories from this board 🥰

@Mini12 Everything crossed for you!

@ShootingStar2020 Good luck! I got close to a positive opk on the internet cheapies a few days ago but have still yet to have a blindingly obvious one ever! Ava bracelet reckons I've ovulated though and temp rose today so think I'm in the tww. Have been on the royal jelly everyday so I'm sure I'll have produced a lovely plump egg 😂

DinoGreen · 02/01/2020 08:30

Good luck @Mini12 and @ShootingStar2020! And wishing you a pleasant TWW @Mangoandbroccoli!

DH is back to work today and DS and I have one final day off before we go back to work and nursery tomorrow, at least it’s only one day before the weekend. I want the next few days to go nice and quickly and get to my scan on Monday which will hopefully provide me with some reassurance, then I can get a date for the NIPT sorted.

DinoGreen · 02/01/2020 17:00

This pregnancy is such a rollercoaster of emotions 😢 this afternoon I’ve had a bit of spotting, well barely even spotting, just a bit of brown when I wipe. I know that brown blood is old blood which is normally not a big deal and we’re only talking tiny amounts, but my worrying immediately goes into overdrive. I’m now going to the toilet every half an hour to check the situation and changed my knickers from black to white so I can inspect every tiny speck ... so stressed and 3 more days to get through until my early scan 😩

Mini12 · 02/01/2020 17:08

@Dinogreen I can only imagine how worries you can be, I won't be able to say anything to stop you worrying but try to think of what you would tell someone else, it is old blood, a few specs is nothing to worry about, try to take your mind off it, can you be extra busy over next few days, get into a gripping book?!

Mini12 · 02/01/2020 18:12

I'm actually gutted I keep having cramps so feeling like my period is coming! Oh is on a snowboarding trip when next ovulating so that's just great timing!! Feeling like of the period comes I may just drink a whole bottle of wine and eat all the cured meats!!! Confused

DinoGreen · 02/01/2020 18:27

Thanks @Mini12. I’m trying to stay calm. There’s nothing to report from my frequent knicker inspections (😂) and DH is home from work now and has reminded me that I did get a bit of spotting of old blood like this in my first pregnancy with DS. I just wish I could speed time up until my scan on Monday!! I did get some new books for Christmas so will try and get on with one of those tonight to keep my mind off it.

That’s frustrating that your OH is away when you’re next due to ovulate but you should dtd either side anyway, you never know! And you’re not out yet this month 🤞🏻

Mangoandbroccoli · 02/01/2020 19:04

Another vote for old blood and a little spotting being ok @DinoGreen ❤️ Completely understand how worrying it all is though.

@Mini12 Still crossing everything for you. If it does come to next month, you've got a 6 day window - do any fall outside the trip? Just keep at it every day around it anyway! Partner and I have both given up drinking now but I did say last night that I'm going to drink whatever I like on any days that a period shows up!