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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 5

984 replies

Conorgog · 07/08/2019 10:28

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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JO138 · 18/12/2019 19:51

@conorgog how many weeks are you now do you figure? I was trying to remember when to expect the nauseous. I was very nauseous with both but only threw up with the second. 😬

I can't believe that you are already headed for the 12 week scan on the 6th! Where does the time go! That will come so quickly. No point in giving yourself additional stress over the holidays! I kind of feel like having been through the cvs once, if I get anything that indicates high risk I will be going for another one to get a definitive answer anyway. I don't think that I will have the results from the harmony before I do the 12 week scan.

So my friend who I went to visit the other day just told me her son has come out in chickenpox. DS hasn't had it and I've emailed my mum and she is "pretty sure" I've had it. Argh! Might be back in the GP tomorrow. F*

DinoGreen · 18/12/2019 20:16

@Conorgog my scan is on the 6th too! But mine is just an early dating one (I’ll be 9 weeks). I don’t really get what the point of it is other than just reassurance, but I’ll take it. I’m then planning the NIPT privately, which I should hopefully get the results from before my 12 week scan. I completely understand why you’ve decided to wait for your scan first though - with Christmas and all the bank holidays, it would be difficult for you to get a result and like you say you don’t want it ruining Christmas.

Oh no @JO138 fingers crossed your DS doesn’t get it! If you’ve lasted until now without catching it as an adult you probably did have it as a child or you’re naturally immune. My DS caught it when he was only 5 months old bless him, it was a horrible few days but they usually get over it pretty quickly. Not what you need for Christmas though!

Conorgog · 18/12/2019 20:41

I figure I’m around 8 weeks 5 days now (Feels like forever already). I think they will date me on the 6th being around 11+ 3 so will see (if I make it that far!).

Nausea kicked in for me around 6 weeks, I had zero nausea with my first - a little bit last time and this time it’s worse again. Wish I could just vomit and get it over with just for the relief.

Agree on CVS, I think I’d rather have that if anything shows up, than wait around for NIPT, but I didn’t want to do the CVS at a private provider, I just feel like if something goes wrong I want to be under one umbrella. (If that makes sense).

God I wish my child had had chicken pox already, he didn’t catch it last year when it did the rounds at nursery, now I’m worried the older he gets the more scratchy he will be! - at least they can do a blood test to see if you have had it @JO138! Not what you need at Christmas!

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ShootingStar2020 · 19/12/2019 10:38

@JO138 @DinoGreen and @Conorgog - hope you are feeling ok today. I always swear by Ritz biscuits, almonds croissants and gaviscon....in no particular order!

I got my period today so hoping my last one for a while!! Am feeling positive about ttc and DH is definitely also now much more on board which is a relief. However, it also feels like the last chance saloon so to counter this I have been talking to lots of mums in their early 40s who have had healthy babies. There are loads of them!

Two more days left at work thank goodness!

Mini12 · 19/12/2019 21:34

Hi all, @Conorgog @DinoGreen @JO138 hope your keeping well! Been following your posts and keeping everything crossed for you!
@JO138 what a lovely way to tell your husband!!!

I'm now on my TWW so no bubbly for me over Christmas but the alcohol free prosecco from Morrisons taste nice so that will hopefully make feel (and look) like I'm joining in a bit

Hope everyone is winding down an bit for Christmas, I finish at 1pm tomorrow and can't wait !

DinoGreen · 19/12/2019 21:57

Thanks @ShootingStar2020 and @Mini12! I’m feeling good, I’ve had no nausea yet and I didn’t get any at all with my DS or my last pregnancy so fingers crossed that’s the same this time too.

Thanks for the tip on alcohol free Prosecco @Mini12 - I’m going to Morrison’s on Saturday so will look out for it! You’re very good not to drink in your TWW - I’ve always carried on drinking until I get a positive test! In fact I had a boozy wine tasting night the week before I found out I was pregnant oops ...

Just one more day at work tomorrow for me! My poor DS’s behaviour has gone down hill this week, I think it’s a combination of Christmas hype (nursery doesn’t help with a Christmas event practically every bloody day), tiredness and long dark days - I’ve got almost 2 weeks off work and I’m so looking forward to spending that time with DS and having lots of family time.

Hope everyone else is doing well and feeling ready for Christmas!

Mangoandbroccoli · 20/12/2019 19:02

Everything crossed for you @Mini12! I'm going to enjoy a few drinks over Christmas and then DH and I are both going alcohol free from new year which will also coincide with my next tww. Love the Morrison's tip! I found fever tree tonic in a nice glass with ice and a slice great when I was first pregnant over Christmas 😋

Here's to lots of Christmas action for us @ShootingStar2020! 🤣 Hoping the time off work gives me the energy to put in some solid effort!! That and the miracle cure that is going to be royal jelly. Sod the Brazil nuts.

ShootingStar2020 · 20/12/2019 20:53

@Mangoandbroccoli 😂😂 better get some practice in! Agreed. Hoping now we are off work there will be more hours in the day!

Just enjoying a glass of fizz with feet up. Have been feeling really sad about what should have been but trying to stay positive.

@Mini12 - fingers crossed for you.

Thinking of you all and so pleased to have found this group. Xx

JO138 · 21/12/2019 08:12

@Mini12 fingers crossed! Will be thinking of you.

@Mangoandbroccoli I hope the royal jelly does the trick! I have to say the exhaustion has hit and I am so glad it's Christmas but I think DH is going to be mainly disappointed! He came in from work most nights this week after 8pm and I have been pretty much going to bed straight after DS! I'm completely knackered!

@shootingstar2020 I'm jealous of the bubbles! I hope you are feeling better. I was thinking yesterday that I was be starting mat leave right now with a baby in 3 weeks but instead I'll be back in the hell of waiting for test results! Still can't believe that this has all happened tbh! Looking forward to 2020!!!

Conorgog · 21/12/2019 10:05

Morning all!

What was meant to be a slowing down of work/life in general before the end of the year has ended up slightly maniacal, I’ve yet to sort presents for partner (apart from some special beer I ordered for him late last night 😬) And the child’s hopes and dreams are currently resting on family’s gifts that have been sent in from all over, hopeless of me.

Was also hoping for a white Christmas as I’ve done every year since we have lived here (home home on the other side of the world is usually 30deg) but again just more rain! I’m going to call white Christmas, in London, an absolute myth. I’m giving 2019 the big finger, i’ll be very glad to see the back of it!

Good luck @Mini12, hope you get some lovely news before NY. @Mangoandbroccoli And @ShootingStar2020 thinking of you over the Xmas period ☺️

How you feeling @JO138 & @DinoGreen any further ‘symptoms’?

I feel like my nausea has subsided slightly, so I keep doing a boob squeeze to reassure myself. - then the nausea hits me again...

I had a vivid dream/nightmare last night that my NT reading at my scan was 4.1 (specific!) and I had to have a cvs immediately. Can’t recall the outcome, apart from not want my partner there as he is the emotional one out of us and I felt like I needed to then support him. 😂

Clearly have a lot of anxiety building up around the 6th!

Thinking of all who have had a tough year this year, 2020 can only be better xx

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DinoGreen · 21/12/2019 11:15

@ShootingStar2020 hope you enjoyed the fizz! Good luck with the royal jelly!

@JO138 I’m not feeling overly exhausted yet so now thinking that’s another reason to worry! I think last time I felt worst around 8/9 weeks so a bit further on than I am now, maybe I’ve just got it to come. @Conorgog I keep doing the boob poke as well as sore boobs is still basically my only symptom! Sorry to hear about your horrible dream, I’ve had a few as well although not quite so specific as yours! The subconscious is a funny thing ...

JO138 · 21/12/2019 11:33

@Conorgog I had to work the first 2 days of my hols so ended up doing a marathon shop before nursery run yesterday and I'm done! My husband has just gone in to town to do his!

I started reading about the SAFE test this morning and the fact that you either get a LOW or HIGH with high being 99% sure it's bad news! I have to say the thought of anyone telling me I'm "high risk" again just gives me cold sweats! I can't quite imagine how I'm going to stay level for the next 6 weeks until I find out. 😥 I just want a crystal ball!

@dinogreen I wish I had taken more notice of when certain things kicked in. Nausea and exhaustion have been pretty prominent in both my pregnancies but I don't remember from when. And this time getting a BFP at 10dpo I have known so much earlier. I've definitely got sore boobs though. DS jumped on me in bed this morning and I almost threw him on the floor. 😬

Mini12 · 21/12/2019 13:10

Hi all, some of the alochol free prosecco has a small % of alcohol in however there is a Nosecco from Asda which has completely alcohol free so if I get good news il move on to that!

Good luck to you @Mangoandbroccoli!! Feeling tired does put a spanner in the works but like you day hopefully you'l have more time! Also good tonic tip!!

I hope everyone can enjoy Christmas, relax and make some good memories

DinoGreen · 23/12/2019 06:19

Morning ladies. Ugh my anxiety is just going into overdrive 😢 I’ve been having some mild twinges on one side the last couple of days, I know from my last pregnancy that I have a cyst on my left ovary so I’m sure it’s just that which is twinging a bit but I woke up at 4am this morning and just worried worried worried about ectopic pregnancies and couldn’t go back to sleep. Google is not my friend in these circumstances. Eventually nodded off again about 5.30am for all of half an hour before DS woke up!

I’ve never been a particularly anxious person before. Ugh I hate this.

Hope everyone else is doing ok. At least the next few days will be busy to keep me distracted.

JO138 · 23/12/2019 09:06

@DinoGreen ugh that sucks. I had a really anxious day Saturday after reading about NIPT results. I just want to get to 12 weeks so I have some answers, good answers!!! We had friends round for dinner on Saturday night who went through a TFMR for t21 6 years ago and have a healthy 3 year old now and they did make me feel a lot better because all the way through they were just told it doesn't happen twice. I know that's not true but at least we know it's possible to have a happy ending.

I have definitely lost the ability to get back to sleep if something wakes me though. Just too much on my mind.

This might sound stupid but I've been taking a prenatal DHA supplement because apparently fish oil has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety. I'm also doing a prenatal yoga workout most days. Anything to keep a little stress away.

My DH who I have to say has not been overly understanding through either of my pregnancies..."you shouldn't be this tired" etc...🤬 But he's been great just taking DS , or doing the housework etc so I can sit and read or do a workout. I am typing this from bed drinking a delivered latte. 😊 Anything to try and just get an hour to de-stress. And not Google.

Hope you are feeling better. Unfortunately I think we are just in the soup until we get that all clear at 12 weeks! ❤

Mini12 · 23/12/2019 17:57

@dinogreen @Jo138 I can imagine what your feeling and thinking at the moment, just know your doing so well to deal with these feelings after the trauma of what you've been through is normal! Hold tight until 12 weeks!! (Easier said than done)

Just know we're all here to listen to your fears and feelings x

Mini12 · 23/12/2019 18:13

That sounded very "American therapist" when i read back but you know what I mean! It helps to air things!! x

DinoGreen · 23/12/2019 18:27

Thanks @Mini12 and no you didn’t sound American therapist at all 😂

My twinges have continued all day today. They’re not painful, just sort of mild discomfort each time. It’s exactly where my ovary is and I had some similar feelings last time (though didn’t know, until the first scan, that I had a cyst there). It’s possible it’s grown maybe with the hormones etc. If I start feeling really in pain at all I’ll have to go and get checked out but otherwise just trying to ignore it and focus on the Christmas excitement 😊

@JO138 sorry to hear you’ve been feeling anxious too. It is so tough and 12 weeks can’t come soon enough. I just have such feelings of dread that I’m going to go through the mill again, whether it’s tfmr or miscarriage. It’s nice to hear positive stories like your friends though. If I wake up again tonight I am definitely staying away from Dr Google.

JO138 · 23/12/2019 19:14

🤣 @mini12 I might benefit from an American Therapist at this point. I'm trying to stay positive. Went for a walk today with DS and DH near us and part of it cuts through a church yard. Seeing all the tiny headstones and people had decorated them for Christmas with children's decorations. I was in bits. Not the relaxing sunshine stroll I was after. 😥

@dinogreen hope you had a good day. 12 weeks is not far away!

Mini12 · 23/12/2019 20:47

@JO138 oh my, what a walk! That's so sad! I think Christmas brings alot of emotion for all kinds of reasons anyway but seeing this would definitely have me in bits!

@DinoGreen it's good that you have the knowledge of what your twinges are down to! You can put them down to something tangible and def keep away from google! I imagine every tiny twinge no matter how big or small is felt at this stage, your probably hyper alert to any changes in your body! I swear I convinced myself I felt my egg implanting a few days ago!! Haha
Roll on the 12 weeks scans for you! x

Mangoandbroccoli · 24/12/2019 08:15

So sorry for all the anxiety, ladies ❤️ Remember that this is a particularly stressful time of year anyway, as lovely as it can be, so things will get easier. I'm anxt-ridden and not even got early pregnancy fears or many people to cater for 😂🙈 One day at a time and try and enjoy these next few days. Soon we'll be able to stick a massive two fingers up to 2019 xx

ShootingStar2020 · 24/12/2019 18:19

Thanks ladies.

@JO138 and @DinoGreen - hope you are feeling ok today. Agree with @Mangoandbroccoli that Christmas can always be tricky for all sorts of reasons. I hope you can enjoy the next few days.

Kids are just about to put on Xmas pjs and find the port for Santa. DH prefers port to sherry 😂

Sending you all lots of Christmas love and hugs xxx

JO138 · 24/12/2019 18:53

Merry Christmas Everyone! Must say that I am very ready to put this year behind me and fingers crossed start 2020 on a positive!

I'm sat in front of the fire with a fizzy, non alcoholic, drink and we are having a quiet dinner tonight. Hope everyone has a wonderful evening and not too crazy early start tomorrow!

🎁🎄🎅❤

DinoGreen · 24/12/2019 19:38

Merry Christmas all! Echoing the glad-to-put-2019-behind-us thoughts. I’ve just got DS into bed and I’m about to get myself a sparkling elderflower and eat the mince pie we’ve put out for Santa. DS gets up at 5.30 most days anyway so all I’m hoping for is no earlier than normal tomorrow!

SylvanianFrenemies · 26/12/2019 23:14

Happy Christmas everyone!

Hope all is going well. Just over a week til our first (8w) scan.

I'm trying not to think about things too much. Easier said than done...