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Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities - Thread 5

984 replies

Conorgog · 07/08/2019 10:28

Welcome to the newest thread of support for those ladies who are pregnant or trying to conceive after terminating for abnormalities. Since this thread first began (almost ten years ago!) there have been stories of heart break, sadness and fear, but from these stories there have also been stories of happiness, success and most importantly, hope. Here they are, our thread babies, and may the list continue to grow:

@Mishtabel - Bella 22/01/10
@Linspins – Franklin 22/01/10
@Shangrila – baby boy 01/02/10
@Cantdothisagain – Babycan't 12/04/10
@Katerina100 – baby boy 06/10
@NumptyMum - Josie 28/06/10
@Allstarsprincess – Frank 30/07/10
@Katiecubs - Felix 13/08/10
@GinaFB – Alexander 03/01/11
@LittlePoot - Jacob 02/02/11
@Coffeeandchocolate – Coffeebean 22/02/11
@Rushingrachel – Oliver 02/03/11
@Crazycatlady - Lawrence 08/03/11
@Dramamama - Isabella 13/03/11
@VivClicquot - Phoebe 28/04/11
@LisbethSalander - baby boy 7/11
@Stormbird – George 24/07/11
@Sarahmia – baby girl 25/07/11
@Eavers – Jacob 11/08/11
@Grandj – Eliot 01/09/11
@Babylily – Miles 05/09/11
@NatzCNL - Sienna 26/09/11
@Manitz - Sacha 28/09/11
@Cherrybug – Kade 02/11/11
@Ghislaine - Charles 14/01/12
@Mrsbigz - Callum 19/01/12
@MyangelAva - Isabella 21/1/12
@Bezzyk - Minibez II 2/2/12
@Katerina100 – baby girl 19/04/2012
@flower11 – Hannah 18/10/2012
@Bluecat83 – Noah est 24/10/2012
@katiecubs – Seth 05/02/2013
@Havingkittens – Alfred 14/04/2013
@ghislane – Frederick 22/10/2013
@lostlove – baby boy est 10/04/14
@AliBingo – baby boy est 06/05/14
@LuckyAugust –baby boy 26/01/2015

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Mangoandbroccoli · 13/11/2019 11:16

Thanks ladies. The Ava bracelet tracks resting pulse rate too, which is also coming down and I've found it depressingly accurate so far 😞 At least it saves me a lot of money in unnecessary tests each month 🙈

@Conorgog and @JO138 still keeping everything crossed for you both x

Mangoandbroccoli · 14/11/2019 08:48

I'm out 😞💔

JO138 · 14/11/2019 08:50

Morning all. I stupidly did a first response test last night after work and it was a BFFN. I was so totally convinced that it was going to be +ve! I looked back at my last pregnancy and I didn't get a +ve until the day my period was due which was 15dpo. It's due Saturday so I am still holding out some hope. I'm 13dpo. 🤞🤞🤞

I was super nauseous brushing my teeth this morning and with both pregnancies I have struggled to brush my teeth without gagging. Sorry TMI.

I was so dead convinced that this was the month! 😭

I'm off to lead a team offsite away day and I am seriously not in the mood to motivate!

Conorgog · 14/11/2019 09:33

@JO138 oh no! BUT, late night wee isn’t the best - so your not out till your out.

Try hold off till Saturday/or Sunday (or tomorrow morning 😂)

I didn’t get my period yesterday so that’s interesting, now worried that if I am pregnant again (if so will be 4 x trying & Ive managed to pregnant every time) that my eggs just accept any old sperm in there. 😩 Is that a thing?

Also just the fact this will potentially be my 4th pregnancy is slightly mind boggling.

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Conorgog · 14/11/2019 09:40

@Mangoandbroccoli so sorry, sending you a big hug. That’s not great.

Thinking of you, and for Sunday.

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Treaclepie19 · 14/11/2019 09:57

I'm off for a bit ladies. We're back to not ttc. It's too painful at the moment as we approach our little ones birthday. 11 months since we lost him today.

Wishing you all the best Flowers

If anyone ever wants a chat, I'm here. Message me on here or on my blog.

JO138 · 14/11/2019 11:03

@Mangoandbroccoli I'm so sorry. I didn't see your message I think we posted at the same time.

@treaclepie19 . Will be thinking about you. Take care.

@conorgog that "old sperm" comment honestly made me snort in the middle of a session. 🤣🤣

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed. I'm feeling really crampy again today and starting to realise how disappointed I'm going to be if AF does arrive on the weekend. 😭

Mangoandbroccoli · 14/11/2019 13:18

Thanks ladies. Ugh, it's so bone crushingly disappointing. Trying to focus on the fact that it was at least a rare 28 day cycle, which is nice and quick for me, so I can now get on with trying again.

Still keeping everything crossed for you @JO138 and @Conorgog xx

Sorry to hear that @Treaclepie19 and see you again when you feel ready. Ttc certainly takes its toll on everything, even without everything we've already gone through ❤️

SylvanianFrenemies · 14/11/2019 19:51

Hi.. Tentatively joining after a termination for T21 + abnormalities in January.

Living children mentioned.

Story so far.. DC1 2011, DC2 2016, early miscarriage 2018, tfmr Jan 2019.

I'm 42 so we are going to stop in January if I am not pregnant then.

DinoGreen · 14/11/2019 22:57

Sorry you’re out @Mangoandbroccoli. Best of luck for next month.

Take care @Treaclepie19. the anniversary has got to be hard 😢 if you want to, you can stick around in the thread even though you’re taking a break from TTC for a while. I’m not actually even TTC yet, not quite ready. But understand of course if you want to take a break from the thread.

Good luck @JO138, have you managed to hold off testing again?

Welcome @SylvanianFrenemies. I remember your username because you were one of the first people to respond to the thread I started when I’d just had my 12 week scan and got a huge NT measurement - it was really helpful. Good luck for the next few months of TTC.

SylvanianFrenemies · 14/11/2019 23:23

Thanks @dinogreen I remember you and some others too. Here's hoping this may be a happier thread.

Treaclepie19 · 15/11/2019 05:55

Thank you all ❤ I may stick around, it's nice to have others in the same boat.
@SylvanianFrenemies welcome and sorry for your losses Flowers

JO138 · 15/11/2019 06:56

I'm out. 😭 And to makes things just a little bit worse I'm off to spend the weekend at my inlaws. Starts with F!

Conorgog · 15/11/2019 09:10

Welcome @SylvanianFrenemies, and good luck, it’s a nice bunch on here, with a real mixed bag of experiences!

@JO138 Oh man I really thought this was it!
Next time! (Enjoy the drinks over the weekend to get you through 😊)

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Mangoandbroccoli · 15/11/2019 09:20

Nooo, so sorry @JO138 😢 Why does ttc have to be so difficult??

Welcome @SylvanianFrenemies and so sorry you find yourself here.

DinoGreen · 16/11/2019 09:05

Sorry you’re out @JO138 Sad

Oops ... after saying DH and I are not TTC yet, we got carried away last night 🙈 it was only day 10 of my cycle thought so I doubt very much it will result in anything.

Mangoandbroccoli · 16/11/2019 09:50

Hehe, good for you @DinoGreen 😊

@Conorgog How are you doing? Still keeping everything crossed that things are going smoothly this time 🤞🏼

Conorgog · 16/11/2019 10:28

Wooo @DinoGreen, sending you lots of luck.

Thanks @Mangoandbroccoli yep it’s a positive, unsure technically what week I am, I ovulated on the 1st (so 15 dpo now) but last month (when I miscarried) I started to bleed on 12 Oct.

What would be the correct date?

I’d probably say I’m 4 weekish, and base off ovulation,- & given its SO early I’m not getting my hopes up. Feel zero excitement. Confused

  • also feel crampy like I’m about to get my period, who knows!
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Mangoandbroccoli · 16/11/2019 11:35

I'll tentatively continue to cross everything for you @Conorgog Do you know when the first day of your last period would technically have been? I guess roughly 2 weeks prior to ovulation so 4 weeks sounds about right x

peamad · 20/11/2019 14:11

Hi everyone - I am new to this thread so hope you wont mind me joining.

I am 35 weeks pregnant after having a TFMR at 22 weeks in January. Until recently I have been feeling really excited and optimistic about this pregnancy, but lately I can't stop thinking about the little boy we lost. We received his diagnosis on Christmas Eve last year, and the whole festive period was just horrific. I think as Christmas comes around again it is stirring up so much emotion. I am also really worried that I will go into labour near to our little boy's anniversary (5 Jan).

Any words of wisdom you can share would be greatly appreciated x

Mangoandbroccoli · 20/11/2019 16:32

Hi @peamad - welcome and so sorry you find yourself here. I can understand that that must be so difficult and really hard not to worry too. I'm still ttc after losing our little one in June and found it harder that I imagined on what should have been the due date this weekend. All these anniversaries are so tough but I think you need to give yourself the time and space to feel whatever you need to. I found that I was really snappy with my partner all day but luckily he was sympathetic and said that he should have realised that being angry was just what I needed to do that day. I think I could have communicated better beforehand. Do you think that could help with you and your partner too, if you discuss how you're feeling? Is there a bereavement counsellor at your hospital? Sometimes it can help to talk things through with someone impartial. I can imagine that feelings of guilt also get stirred up - not saying that's how you should feel, I just know I feel like that sometimes, even though I know we made the right decision. Do you think you're giving yourself permission to be happy and excited about Christmas and the new baby? I think you really deserve to enjoy it all, however tough that might be. 💚

Conorgog · 20/11/2019 17:04

Welcome @peamad and congratulations on your pregnancy.

What an awful time to have been told your news last time, that certainly would trigger those feelings easily. As @Mangoandbroccoli said so well, you really do deserve to feel happiness, I hope you have someone to talk to? One of our other posters I think it was @Treaclepie19 (?) said they were going to get a cake on what would have been their due date and mark it in that way. Which sounded so so lovely to me.

Bizarrely (and I’m only newly pregnant) if this pregnancy works out, my DD will be the same day as my TFMR, which I don’t know quite how to feel about.

@DinoGreen how are you, are you in the TWW now?

@JO138 hope the weekend was survivable and the wine helped.... x

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Treaclepie19 · 20/11/2019 17:11

@peamad I'm so sorry for your loss Flowers and congratulations on your pregnancy.
Our whole christmas last year was the same. It was rough and as a consequence I'm not looking forward to it this year.

We have planned a meal at a restaurant for our little boys birthday and I will be getting a cake to celebrate still ❤

Mini12 · 20/11/2019 20:59

Hi all, I've been trying to keep up with posts, works been mad busy which is good as I'm back in the swing of things now.
Welcome to @peamad so sorry for your loss and also congrats on your pregnancy, must be such a mixed bag of feelings, I agree with @Mangoandbroccoli I think acknowledging the day by doing something nice is a good way to remember and also help with allowing you to feel all those emotions.

@Conorgog Have you conceived again? Good luck, I know it's early and you must be on pins , everything crossed for you x

@SylvanianFrenemies sorry for your losses, like someone has said before when another person joins it's kind of heartbreaking knowing all these women have gone through pain, good to know we can support each other though.

Good luck everyone who are TTC . I'm nervous to try again but I think il buy some of those ovulation sticks this week just so I'm ready!

elcie1980 · 20/11/2019 22:36

Hi all

So today I have started the paperwork for a TFMR.... first pregnancy, 39 and received a high risk result.
I am ok with decision and I have done my grieving as confirmation and results has taken 2 weeks.

I have some questions flying around my brain... will I now always be a Down’s syndrome high risk and when is safe to try again... (difficulty is my partner works abroad so our time is limited together)....

Sending love and light to everyone on this thread