Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

[LittlePoot]

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

Hi Cant - potty training still going on; we picked this Sat to try it again and given DS had what then turned into D&V it was NOT the best day to choose (thank god I was on the phone to my folks; DH had to clear up the aftermath ). However DS actually did a poo in the potty at nursery today! So he's getting there VERY slowly. I just hope it's easier 2nd time around...

Anyway, better go as I've got the bath running and don't want to flood the neighbours - lovely to catch up on everyone else's news today . xx

hi there, quick one as is so late at night. keep coming on to see where poot is and here we are with a jacob. Congratulations! The only advice i can offer is to enjoy it as much as you can, I read loads of books during night feeds with ds. (by it i mean being awake with baby). I look back and it seems so long ago but he's only 2. I always swaddle mine for first six weeks which is cute and seems to help with sleeping.

mishtabel. I've also heard lots of conflicting advice about the tests. I decided to go with the reaction she had to things. It sounds just like dd, she would also get hives where dairy touched her and would get hives if her own vomit touched her they called it a dairy protein allergy. In some ways a violent reaction like that is good because you are in no doubt so you just eliminate it. Basically the consultant said the more processed the food is the less likely they will react so the first cheese she could have was parmesan as hard cheese is further away from the original product if that makes sense.

As far as food goes I did a lot of mildish curries using coconut milk (like with a tiny bit of lemongrass) or garlicky dishes and tapas stuff and mildly spiced chicken dishes with rice and raisins (middle eastern style) and loads of roasts which are still her fave dishes. I also did lots of dishes like liver and mash etc. I found she had a really varied diet at the time because I had to be careful. Now of course she eats fishfingers chips and beans for virtually every meal . I avoided nuts until she was 5 as that's what they advised in case she was also allergic and she couldn't have eggs or avocado as she reacted to them too (swelled up and purple). Apart from that I tried to do a lot of broccoli as it has calcium apparently.

In the end I think you become quite accustomed to dealing with it and its just second nature to avoid certain dishes, I still don't make any white sauce dishes. It's just a bit tricky at birthday parties where they can't eat the food although DD used to sort of know and would never nag or get upset. She could have dark chocolate too. x
hm a quick one then, hate to see a long one. night

I'm all emotional too can't - it's such a special thing and always brings me back to how i felt when Felix was born - amazing

Poot, i second Manitz advice of swaddling, it really helped Felix sleep although he didn't seem keen on it at first - sure someone on here recommended it to be too!

Congratulations Poot, so happy for you and your DH, welcome to the world little Jacob ( I agree, lovely name)! Yes Cantdo, another one here getting all emotional when a thread baby arrives, such a special moment and it's made even more special I think because none of us in here will ever take it for granted.

I am reading and trying to learn as much as possible from your experiences with feeding and sleeping and potty training, it's great that this thread continues to offer so much support after the little ones are here.

Mishta, that GP really is an idiot, no wonder you were fuming! I really hope Bella's allergies will clear up gradually, I'm afraid I have nothing useful to say as no experience whatsoever.

Right, this is my first day of maternity leave, so I'm starting it indulgently with a cup of tea and a big chocolate eclair and Mumsnet... House is a mess but I can't be bothered to do anything about it yet :) I saw the midwife yesterday and my bloods are fine, some of them very slightly below the normal ranges but insignificantly so. I feel so silly now, getting so worried about nothing. To be fair though she seemed quite concerned last time...

Anyway, Coffeebean is 3/5 engaged, although I don't think he'll come too soon.

Catlady, Cantdo's predictions so far have proved very accurate, so I'd think of girl names if I were you :) How are you, any twinges?

Rachel, hang in there, one more day to go... do you actually have your performance review today? What a way to stop working!

Right, I'm rambling now. Anyway, I'm so pleased to see another thread baby, don't worry about not posting or keeping up to date with the thread Poot, just enjoy millions of cuddles and I hope you'll also be able to get a bit more sleep soon. xxxx

Coffee, yes, I do actually have my performance review this evening at 5 pm. I filled out my "employee evaluation" form last night ... it's all such rubbish. It wouldn't be if the process was treated properly but everyone knows it's just paper pushing and nobody takes it seriously. Regardless of whether I met every objective, my boss still has issues with me and will make sure not to give me more than 50% of my bonus in any year. I also have an incredible amount to do tonight to get out of the door. Surprising the number of projects that I just haven't been able to get over the line because they've been dependent on other people who haven't had the same incentive to get things done! It's a nice idea that tomorrow it'll all be over for a few months, regardless of whatever happens at 5!! Enjoy your first day of ML.

Glad to hear of another one that's outgrown a dairy allergy Catlady. And I don't mean for this to rhyme, but cod, how odd (does sound funny though ). Did you actually suspect it, or is it a common thing to test for? I would love some recipes/food ideas, though do you mean 'send' as in by email, as I'm in Australia (in case you didn't know). In any case, I'm suspecting that you'll very soon be a bit busy with a baby to be thinking of sending anything!

Speaking of which, Manitz, you're dishes sound quite yummy, and shows me dairy-free meals need not be boring. Funny you should mention the cheese, as when I have given Bella jar food , the ingredients have listed Parmesan, and I couldn't work out why she seemed to be ok with it - makes sense now, thank you. And thanks for making it sound so doable - or is that do-able?

Thanks for the back-up re the GP, girls. It's lucky the doctor bulk-bills for children, as I would've had a hard time paying for that 'advice'. To add insult to injury, when we got outside the GP's office, DH said "Well that was a bit rude", I said "Yep, he was an idiot alright" to which DH replied "Not him - you!" That earned DH a ten minute lecture/rant on exactly why everything the doctor had said was wrong

Natz, sadly I am not surprised by the first bit of advice you received. Glad you ended up finding a good GP for you DD. Hope she's feeling better, and that the next two weeks pass somewhat quickly for you xx

Katie, glad to hear the weaning's going well, and little Felix is sorting out his sleep. Lol at you not knowing what to do with yourself - you should've had a nap too!

Cant, I love your tactic for dealing with unwanted advice, and am going to try to adopt the same attitude. Will practice on mil....advises me on the most basic stuff - means well but for crying out loud, this is my 4th baby, not my 1st!! Oops, where did that come from? Anyway, I too, am reassured by you - I don't see the need for stopping BFing at this stage, if mum and baby are happy. And yes, I too get emotional with a new thread baby's arrival. It's just such a special time, and makes me wish I could visit and have a cuddle...sigh...
Went to a play centre today with a friend from work (or should I say, my old work place), who has a baby 6 weeks younger than Bella. Her baby goes to sleep at about 6:30pm and sleeps through until 8am Gets herself off to sleep too, with a dummy. Friend tried to make me feel better by 'confessing' that the daytime routine "isn't the best though". Think I could live with that somehow.....

Coffee and Rachel, enjoy your maternity leave and rest up while you can (probably not so possible for you Rachel).

Kittens, how are you? Feel like I haven't 'spoken' to you for ages. Can't remember what date in March you see this new guy, but hoping time passes quickly for you xx

Sorry for another epic post (and I promised myself an early night too). Love to everyone, and a special wave to Poot if you get the time to read xxxx

I like your style Coffee, first day of mat leave with an eclair .

Rachel I hope your last day isn't too stressful and the review goes ok. I'm secretly hoping that the review isn't a review at all, just a way to keep you in the office until 5pm so all your colleagues can give you a proper send off. You never know? ...

Mishtabel I agree with Manitz on the mild curries. DD loves a good curry! Other things we did were:

• Pork mince stir fried with mushrooms, spinach, a little stock, lemon juice and italian seasoning. Serve with olive oil mash (mixed sweet potato and normal) or cous cous.
• Mini meatballs with pasta (usually a similar recipe to above, but in finger food shape).
• Haggis (can you get this in Oz? If you can it's brilliantly nutritious and healthy for getting good fats in and plenty of calories).
• Always cook with fattier cuts of meat - so I used chicken legs and thighs for doing DD's casseroles and curries rather than breast. I always made her curries with a mild spice mix and plenty of coconut milk for added calories.
• Falafel, hummus and pitta bread. I just used a supermarket falafel mix, but since you have to fry them they're quite calorific! Esp with hummus.
• Roasted veg. Loads of them, served with everything. Doused in olive oil.
• And if you want a nice pud, try making a rice pudding using coconut milk instead of cows milk. Add a cardamom pod and a little cinnamon. Yum.

We did experiment with things like soya cheese to cook with but it was totally minging and DD hated it! I never really got round to writing down any of my recipes but I do plan to, as I keep coming across friends with allergic children who need ideas, so when I do it I'll let you have a copy!

Cant I suspect I may disappoint in your gender prediction... I am absolutely convinced I am carrying a boy! Hopefully won't be too much longer to wait. No real signs of imminent labour but am starting to feel a little achy in the pelvis like I did the week before DD arrived. But then she was 2 weeks late so I could still be sitting here in 3 weeks time .

eeek to potty training with D&V Numpty! xx

Hiya ladies x

Just popping my head round the door after a fortnight's holiday (our last one for, ooh, 20-odd years... sniff! ) and am so thrilled to hear poot's news. Jacob is a fabulous name, and I hope you're having a wonderful babymoon.

The thread looks like it's been super busy since I last popped in, so I won't do a full namecheck, but suffice to say it's so lovely hearing from all the mums about their little ones, and so exciting to see so many of you fast approaching d-day. ( coffee - am LOVING your approach to maternity leave!)

As for me, am 28+2 and almost overnight have started to feel very unwieldy. Bending over is starting to become an issue and my belly button is super super sore. Still, I think I've done well to get this far with no niggles or dramas, so am quite happy to suck it up, as it were...

Anyway, sending you all lots of love
Viv xxxx

Catlady, I think I've got it wrong every time so I am sure you are having a boy, you're right. My theory was purely based on probability. Ie so far we have:

Mishta, Numpty and me have had girls

Justa, Lins, Shangrila, Katie, Stars, Katerina, Poot, Gina all have had boys, and Coffee is also having a boy, and so is Rachel

Having said that I think Drama's having a girl. But the figures are still very skewed towards boys. If you aren't, then Viv MUST be. Or Natz. Or Eavers....

Or (cheery theory) Manitz, Kittens, Ghislaine, Cherry, Mimsy, Flowers, are all about to get bfps and balance the stats with some little girl

Hahaha cantdo - I'm absolutely convinced I'm having a boy, although this is only based on old wives' tales, so anything could happen between now and the beginning of May...

Viv, wow, 28 weeks, where did the time go?! I'm glad you and the baby are well. My belly button has also been sore for a few weeks now, I thought it's just a weird thing as I hadn't heard anyone mention it before :)

Catlady, your recipes sound delicious, you should really write them down. I love coconut milk so I might try the rice pudding myself (too bad we don't have a salivating emoticon, especially with so many pregnant women around).

Rachel, how is your first day of ML? Was Catlady right about your performance review? :)

No eclair for me today, just a cup of tea and some chocolate...

I want an eclair soooooooooo badly now! lol, hello everyone (waves) good to catch up and see everyone doing so well! congrats to poot!I think you have fab taste in names as Jacob was the name we liked for mini-drama had she been a boy give him a big cuddle from me and i too swear by swaddling it works wonders.
I don't have a sore belly button but do have ridiculous back-ache and trouble sleeping as little miss is back to back although no longer breech thank god! mw says it's less of a prob with subsiquent births...i'll take her word for it whilst scrubbing my floors and wiggling my hips. And i agree with can't somebody else needs to have a girl i'm all on my onesys atm!

crazycatlady, that takes me back. I forgot that I would count every calorie into dd at that time! i was told to feed her all sorts of things like donuts and fry-ups just to fatten her up. I like the sound of your dishes especially the rice pud. Was your daughter on nutramigen? I once tried to make a rice pudding with it and didn't realise you couldn't cook with it - it was like really nasty car tyres!

Mishta I also remembered hummus and taramasalata when i shut down yesterday or 'yellow' and 'pink' in our house. Is this your first child with an allergy then? I thought it went in families. Ds was also sensitive although nothing like dd so I avoided dairy a bit with him.

better go now as am exhausted today. Hope everyone well. x

Hi all, banned myself from posting yesterday, and promise this will only be a quick one (famous last words).

Just wanted to thank you Catlady for the recipes, and you Manitz for your meal ideas. Between you both, you have managed to inspire me, and make me realise it's not ALL bad - I'm actually a bit excited to try these new things. And, yes, Manitz, this is my first experience of allergies. My other girls were fine, no allergies in either my or DH's family. The main thing I've done different with Bella was to start weaning her early (just before 5 months old instead of 6 months with the others), so I've wondered if that has anything to do with it? I guess I'll never know, and what's done is done anyhow. On the positive side, I'm usually a bit of a boring cook, so this might get me try new things. It might also get me to venture outside of the antenatal choices area for once. The girls on the allergy boards seem to know lots (certainly more than a lot of GP's). Well, so much for being quick . Thanks again girls xx

Waves to Drama and Viv :) How long have you got to go Drama (memory of a sieve here)? And, wow Viv, 28 weeks!

I agree, we simply must have some more girls to even things up a bit - so if you could just arrange that ladies. Much appreciated, thank you

Ok, I'm going. Have a great day xx

PS: Bella spent some time at daycare today. Loved it, waved me off without so much as a backward glance (only 3 hours though, so no nap-time involved)

hi everyone, havent been on for awhile

Congratulations poot on the birth of Jacob, it is a lovely name.

Coffee and Rachel hope you are enjoying your maternity leave and getting lots of rest

Cant thats a lovely theory

Morning everyone! Eager to hear some more from Poot and little Jacob, sure she has other priorities at the moment though LOL :)

Lovely to hear from you Viv, glad you are doing well...not long to go now! Am all confused about who is next but know we will have a flurry of new arrivals soon from Drama, Catlady and Coffee. Glad minidrama has turned BTW!

All great here, we are going out for lunch today to celebrate Felix's half year birthday! Can't quite believe where the time has gone, to all the new first time mums just enjoy every second and try not to read too many books or worry about the little things - i wish i hadn't, it all works itself out in the end.

p.s have added a couple of pics of Felix today in his 6 months birthday PJ's

p.p.s glad Bella enjoyed daycare Mishtabel!

Katie, he is gorgeous! How was lunch? 6 months already, I'm always surprised to see how quickly the thread babies grow.

I think Catlady is next, then Rachel, then me and Drama (or is it me then Rachel? I can't remember, our EDDs are just one day apart).

I haven't slept properly for 3 nights, I've had all kind of weird cramps and twinges, and I'm sure Coffeebean has now dropped, walking is so unconfortable! I am just surprised it all happens at night, I go to sleep then wake up in pain, but it's all gone by the morning. I know this means the B-Day is getting closer, but I guess closer can mean a few days or a few weeks, so I'm trying not to get my hopes up.

Mishta, I have no words of wisdom to offer, but I really don't think you could have caused Bella's allergies by weaning earlier than 6 months (hasn't there recently been a study questioning the official advice of only feeding milk until 6 months?) It seems to me, like with everything baby and children-related, that you just can't go right, and whatever choice you make there is a study or a theory to prove you wrong, in a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" sort of way . I'm only starting to understand how guilt is connected with motherhood, I'm sure I cannot even begin to imagine how much stronger it is once the babies are here! Anyway, I really hope the allergies will clear in time. xx

Drama, you must have shiny floors by now Coffeebean is not back to back, but can still turn that way (he's lying sideways as far as I understand), but I'm too lazy to clean my floors so am bouncing on a gym ball instead...

Hello to everybody and a special hello to Kittens, no need to post if you need a break from MN but we're still thinking of you and keeping everything crossed. xxxx

Hi Coffee, I'm sort of here, just lurking and skim reading. It's difficult to keep up when I'm not visiting everyday! So much going on.

I was supposed to go to an appointment at UCH today at the recurrent miscarriage clinic but I think it was generated through an admin error as none of the consultants could tell me what the appointment was about so I decided not to go. I think it was regarding a letter the lady I saw last year wrote to the head consultant about the question of taking progesterone supplements during pregnancy but this had already been answered. All a bit confusing really.

I do have my appointment with Dr Shehata in a month so I will wait to see what happens then.

I feel a bit like I've gone off the boil a bit at the moment. I think I need the break but I'm also a bit confused about how un-broody I have been feeling lately. I finally got my period this weekend after nearly 9 weeks! There was a day last week that I thought I might be pregnant and I really didn't want it to be the case, especially as I want to wait 'til after my other tests.

A bit blue at the moment, probably hormone based but also just feeling a bit confused about how I feel just now.

Hi all, Kittens sorry you're feeling as you are - wish I had something useful to say, just hoping you're appointment in March renews your spirit a bit (see, even that sounds lame). Just know you're being thought of xxx (thought I would highlight your name from now on to help with the skim reading)

Coffee, yes I'd read that study, only from a link from a discussion on mumsnet. Felt like posting on the discussion thread that what the study had found certainly wasn't my experience, but I always chicken out of posting anywhere but here. Though think I will definitely be posting on the allergy board at some stage - have been in A&E tonight with another reaction to milk. She only had a few drops from a cup that had had milk in it (my stupid fault) resulting in hives, coughing/spluttering, dribbling etc. She's right now, still a bit snuffly, but I don't think I will be able to put in her in daycare anymore for this course I'm doing (even though daycare has been wonderful about it - I am just
too scared). Anyway, I don't mean to hog the thread with this allergy stuff, it's just such a worry, not knowing if the next reaction will be worse. It's all a worrier like myself needs (not that anyone needs it of course).

Katie, Felix is gorgeous (would say a little spunk, but understand that's not exactly a compliment over there?) - happy 1/2 birthday!

FWIW, my first two labors were posterior, and although painful, were only 4 hours long, next one was anterior and took twice as long, then Bella was 'oblique', though was a planned c-section anyway. And to hear Poot saying poor little Jacob was trying to come out ear-first! How many ways can a baby present I wonder

Love to all xxx

Kitten lovely to hear from you - have been wondering hpw you were getting on. Sorry to hear you are feeling a bit low/confused, don't feel the need to try and make sense of it though, hopefully your appointment with Dr. Shehata will give you a little more direction x

Mishtabel poor you and poor Bella, must have been scary. Glad she is ok! I have always been a neighbours fan so will take spunk as it's Australian meaning and a compliment :)

Coffee lunch was lovely thanks although Felix was a bit grizzly as he has another cold boo. Hope you got a better nights sleep last night, i had a terrible time with pain in my sleep too, i couldn't turn over in bed without being in agony...it was all SPD related though. Hope coffebean makes an appearance soon although not sure that will help with your sleep

Hi all.

Kittens, I am not surprised you are feeling blue. You have been incredibly positive through a frankly horrendous time, and so many pregnancies must have meant your hormones have been going haywire for years. I wish I could wave a magic wand for you. Specially now, as I recall you and Poot were pregnant at similar times so you must have recently gone through another due date. It's unfair, and I really hope it happens for you soon.

Mishta, so sorry about Bella's latest allergic episode. This might sound odd, but a colleague of mine had a daughter with a severe - potentially fatal - nut allergy. He said it was very hard to suddenly realize that he would never dare leave her at parties, or relax about her around unfamiliar food, and he had to change all his risk perceptions, and make her aware of the risks too, without making them all neurotic, and he found that balancing act hard. I guess it's a period of adjustment. You are so right to be cautious, but dairy allergies are different from nut ones (I think - no expert!) and at least you know, and can monitor. The allergy boards here sound like a good place to swap advice.
One other thing - remember, just over a year ago, Bella was born, and she was so poorly. We were all rooting for her. And she got through it. This is small, compared to what she went through then. You'll get there, even if you have to rethink how you eat, even how you parent around food, cos Bella is your little miracle.

Coffee, nearly there! Aches and pains are all good. As for the floor-cleaning, I say pah! to that. I tried that with DD1. And ball-bouncing. And everything, really. And she still ended up back-to-back and stuck. With DD2, aware I was having a section, I lolled about in the wrong positions, etc, and she ended up in exactly the same position as DD1. I suspect that is just how babies find they fit best inside me. So I'd just sit on the ball and ignore the cleaning.....

Hi Katie! Can't believe how old Felix is now...

Good news on the potty training, Numpty.
Anyone heard from Mimsy???

Hi all, please forgive me for a very self-absorbed post, but it's Silvia's first anniversary today and I feel very subdued and vulnerable. It just feels very strange to think that it's only been one year since we've been in hospital, since I held her and said good-bye.

I miss her so, so much, and I still feel protective of her, even if I always have to find a different outlet for this. At the same time, I know I am extremely lucky to be pregnant at this time and to have this massive hope in my life, alongside the pain of having lost one baby. Today I just need to remember, to think about how the last 12 months have changed me, how I was able to get through things I would have never thought possible, how I became both a better person for it, but also a more bitter, less patient person.

I think I'll just re-read bits of the previous threads today, and let the hours pass, and just remember.

Just a quick stop in as have to take DD1 to the doctors (eczema probs still), just wanted to say that I will be thinking of you today Coffee and of Silvia, and will be sending supporting vibes to you. I know today is going to be a rollercoaster of emotions. Cry and remember, do whatever feels natural xx

Coffee, I too am thinking of Silvia, and you, today.

It may sound odd but I often reread the thread from when I lost my second baby. It helps me remember where I was then, and where I am now. And it is a kind of commememoration to her, too. I hope it brings you some kind of solace today, and makes you feel closer to Silvia, and yet also ready to let her go a little more.

I too was pregnant when the first anniversary of my first loss came around, and although I was grateful for that, I was also sad. Mourning Silvia is separate from the joy of being pregnant again- you will always have Silvia in your heart but next year the anniversary will feel so different, so I would take the time you have today to remember her and be reflective, if that makes sense. You may never have this time again, nor might you need it, but you do now.

May Silvia, and our other little lost babies, rest in peace.

And a special thank you from me for those people who posted and actually kept me going when I lost my second baby. Bee, Tree, Justa, Bezzy, Lins, Mrs BG, etc, mostly gone now, and I will always be grateful to you.

Coffee I'm thinking of you and Silvia today. I remember reading your posts from last year, as it was only a few weeks from when we said goodbye to our little one, and it was all so raw.

We find ourselves in much the same place again now, remembering what we have lost and also expecting to give birth soon... such a mix of emotions. Letting the time pass and acknowledging each feeling as it comes, be that sadness, loss, happiness, joy or simply nothing at all has helped me I think. And knowing there are others experiencing the same makes it feel normal and manageable somehow.

I hope you have a peaceful day xx