Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

[LittlePoot]

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

so pleased for you ghislaine. It's a rollercoaster of emotion all this, isn't it... I can honestly say that it wasn't until my boy was delivered that I truly believed he was going to be okay, all the way through pregnancy I expected to be told they'd found something wrong after all. I hope that you can let yourself relax a bit and enjoy the next few months...

Rosielee, welcome and congratulations. I hope you can find some supportive and understanding medical care somewhere in Ireland. It's a stressful time enough. I hope you find the board supportive when you need it- I know I have done.

I'm waiting to find out today if my boy has to be admitted to neonatal...He has lost his 10% and so unless he has gained today that's him back to hospital for feeding up...he isn't growing on my milk, despite having plenty of wet and dirty nappies he's just shrinking every day. Keeping everything crossed and kinda worried about underlying digestive issues he may have. Having had two big bouncing girls, he is just so fragile in comparison.
xx

Babylily, that is exactly how I feel. The consultant said (in a nice way) to me that he was arranging a reassurance scan because he knew that I wouldn't really believe that everything was ok until I held the baby in my arms.

Thinking about your little one, and everything crossed he doesn't need admitting to neonatal.

Babylily - hope all goes ok and your little boy doesn't have to be admitted. will be thinking good fattening up thoughts for him!!
Ghislaine, it's good that your consultant arranged a reassurance scan - it's nice when they are understanding of how we are feeling.

afm - not lots to report. 13.5wks now!! saw my consultant on monday and she measured my cervix (which was 3.8mm - good apparently!) and also got a sneak peak at baby while she was 'up there' which was nice. she is so reassured by my nuchal results that she now doesn't want to see me until 24wks!?!?! that shook me up a little as i'd assumed that she would see me at 16. my 20wk anomoly scan is just being done by the NHS. however (bless her) she obviously saw the horror in my face, and explained it was because she was really confident this pg would be ok. HOWEVER she knew we were hoping to find out the gender of this little one, so has arranged for us to go at 16wks for private scan, but only pay a small percentage. also means we can take the boys with us (and DH can actually see the baby - as he hasn't been to a scan yet!!)

feeling much more hopeful at the moment, i must admit.....long may it last xx

Very quick post from me - just wanted to say a big hurray to Ghislaine! Glad all is going well xx

Babylily, hope your little boy is ok and has some weight gain this week. Fingers crossed for you xxx

Rosielee, welcome & as the others have said, I hope you find this thread supportive, and will hopefully find the medical support you need inRL soon xx

Hello to everyone else. All going ok here, 39+1 and very uncomfortable. Finished DD1 first week at primary school, we are all exhausted...

Hopefully be posting soon with an announcement, on the curry's, the pineapple, the long walks and the bedroom antics, with nothing but a couple of tummy aches and a night of braxton hicks to show for it.

Congratulations to Grandj and Babylily! Lovely names.

Ghislaine,what a rollercoaster,so glad all is well now. MrsBigz, your pregnancy sounds to be going well too - hurrah.

Rosielee, it must make it all so much harder being somewhere where termination isn't accepted as a normal (if traumatic) response to a baby with severe abnormalities. I wish you much luck with this pregnancy. If it helps, I don't think anyone posting here has had a repeat trisomy pregnancy while on this thread itself (if that makes sense). Welcome.

Natz, I feel your eagerness for Babygirlnatz to appear. Come on Babynatz! Hope DD1 is enjoying school.

Hi to everyone else, just passing through....

hi there. babylily, i hope your little boy is ok. I have now had three children who have dropped 2 centiles on breastmilk and who were threatened with various different things. with baby number one she really didn't put any weight on and like yours had reasonable nappies etc however it turned out she was allergic to dairy. would be worth considering that, I was also at fault and looking back would do a couple of things differently. I thought naively that I could just feed whereever I wanted but with her I should have gone to a quiet room and concentrated on feeding as she would be on and off all the time. I also should have woken her more often. with dd2 she was also distracted and I should have done the same with her.

However by ds the medical profession decided that this was how my babies are and it has been much more relaxed. All 3 are healthy and happy kids though the girls ended up mixed fed from 4 months and formula by 6 months as that was the least stressful option.

i have been in hospital for a couple of days as I had a show on thursday and panicked (I've had 2 csections) so I don't want to get into labour as I'm scared of rupturing. I had mild contractions so went in to be checked. they kept me in to give me steroids and although the head is fully engaged have thankfully let me out. They've also made me feel a bit better about the possible rupturing as it's not as likely as I thought. I'm really uncomfortable but at least i've got my bag packed now! although I'm getting really scared about looking after 4 kids post cesarean as up till now i haven't really thought about there being a baby... x

Oh poor you Manitz, that sounds really tough. Just not what you need after everything else. I would have more than panicked in your shoes. How far along are you now?

Fingers crossed for your little one, babylily. How is he doing?

Eagerly awaiting news from Natz....

Manitz, hope you are ok. Are you going to try for a VBAC? Not too much longer for you now, hope you have no more scares xx

Babynatz is due tomorrow but no signs that she is on her way! I have been very ill over the past couple of weeks with this cough which has been causing me to vomit for the past 5 days. Doc said last week that chest was clear but got checked again today and is broncil so now on antibiotics and paracetamol.

I have managed to strain my tummy and back muscles, oh joy!

I will keep you updated with any news on the baby front.

Hope your little one is doing well Babylily xx

Manitz - hope things have settled down and you're feeling calmer. Not nice to have scare like that - I'd have been frantic. I know what you mean about it starting to dawn that there will be a baby - we arent really ready at all.

Natz - sorry to hear you've been ill, just what you dont need in the last stages of pregnancy. Hope the anti - bs kick in straight away and you start to feel much better. And hope babyNatz is on her way very soon.

Babylily - hope Miles is doing well and starting to put on some chubb. I had similar problems with my DD losing too much weight and failing to thrive on my milk. I was forced to mix feed in the end which I was very sad about but did still manage to keep BFing going till she was 9 months. Let us know how things are when you get a chance.

I've spent the last couple of days freaking out about something going wrong and panicking that the baby isnt moving as much. I've just started to worry more and more as I get nearer to the end of the pregnancy. I had this golden period after the anomoly scan when I felt quite reassured but that feeling has gone. I have a midwife appt today so will be glad to hear the heartbeat and hopefully be told all seems well. I think baby (shall I call the baby, babybug or cherrybaby?) is still posterior and I had horrible backache the other day but thankfully that has eased off now. Need to try and get it to turn but seems very settled in the position it's in so I'm already worrying about a posterior labour. But plenty of time I suppose.

Anyway hope everyone else is well and all is calm. Will keep checking for news on babyNatz!

hi there. i'm 34 + 5 so it's not bad at all from the baby's point of view, especially as it has now had the steroids so the lung function will be ok. ds was born at 36 +3 and was 6lb and definitely had no problems feeding etc. it was a little worrying but was more frustrating than anything else as i had lots planned for while ds was at pre school - he only started this sept and does 3 days a week so i figured i had about 12 mornings to myself to get things ready.

natz i'm definitely not trying for a vbac, i had one with dd2 and tried with ds (both terminations were also standard deliveries) but with dd2 i had a 3rd degree tear and i've been advised that a natural delivery has a 50% chance of a repeat or worse plus i've now had 2 csections and this is my last baby so I'm concerned about rupturing. It will be a bit tricky for a bit but fine after. because of the other day I just feel like i could get into labour and my only true labour was 1 and half hours Im really worried about a natural delivery which is why i panic if there is anything to indicate labour.

However after this you know I'll go right up to the date

I hope you are getting there with babynatz and look forward to some good news soon. I thought for a minute I might beat you in there and I wasnt that sad about it! I've now got a cold and finding everything hard work. Plus like cherry my baby is moving a lot less now and i still occasionally think I could fall at the last hurdle. I really know I can never ever do this again and I would be really devastated to go through the last two pregnancies and have something go wrong at this point. but I guess that goes for all of us. consultant appointment this afternoon will see if they have anything to say to me. x

Hi everyone, oldie checking in after what seems like ages. I?ve been away for a few weeks, I?ve lurked but didn?t have the chance to post. First of all, can I say to Ghislaine, I was so relieved to read that everything is fine, what a nightmare to go through! I remember when I was about 28 weeks I went for a private anomaly scan (I had an NHS one scheduled for 32 weeks but couldn?t wait) and they told me the brain ventricles were on the large side and asymmetrical. In a second I was covered in cold sweat. Then, they said the prognosis was excellent (!) after I told them the professor who did my 20 week anomaly scan (who is an opinion leader) had no concerns whatsoever. I don?t know how I managed to walk out of the room? Everything turned out to be fine in the end, but I?ll always remember the utter despair I felt then.

Manitz, I?m happy all is well with you and babymanitz, and that you are a bit reassured after the steroids. It?s not fair, is it, we would all deserve the most straightforward pregnancies (and births) after what we?ve been through.

Natz, I might not have time to post, but I?ll check in for news, I?ve dusted my pom poms again :)

And of course, massive congratulations to babylily, I was so happy to read your birth announcement; I remembered some of your posts from last year when you thought you couldn?t have boys. Miles is a lovely name. I hope he has put on weight now?

Cherry, I hope little Cherry turns. Yes, I remember the last few weeks of pregnancy and the constant fear something will go wrong. I am a bit ashamed now to admit, but even after the birth both DH and I got anxious about the startle reflex and asked the paediatrician if this is normal or means brain damage. Stupid, I know. Hang in there, it?s ?just? fear, it doesn?t actually mean things are wrong.

Rosielee, I don?t think I said hello yet. Welcome. Sorry you have no support from the health professionals, I hope the kind and gentle support in here will compensate somehow.

Everything?s well here, LO is 7 months today (I can?t believe it!) and is very happy and ?chatty?, unless he?s teething or tired. His sleep has improved a lot (says Coffee, praying she won?t jinx it), I feed him once a night only and most times he settles very easily, so I feel human again. He is very active, is desperate to crawl at the moment and is almost there, but is getting very frustrated when he can?t so I?m spending most of my time with him on his playmat. He?s not very interested in toys (unless he can chew on them), but loves being on his tummy, looking around.

What a mega post, and still so many I haven?t mentioned! I?ll be around, waiting for baby news :)

cherry, I completely understand the fear of later pregnancy, I was fine up until my final scanat 34 weeks then as soon as I knew I wouldn't be getting checked again I was constantly imagining things going wrong.

Hope the rest of the pregnancy is uneventful for you.

Manitz, Im sorry, you clearly said in the first post that you was having a C-section, I just havent been taking information in recently. Been so unwell the last few weeks. Went back to GP today and am now on paracetamol, antibiotics and steroids!!! Already beging to feel back to normal, have barely coughed in the last hour which is a big thing for me!

Babynatz is still firmly sat in my womb refusing to budge, which to be honest is actually ok for me as Ive been so ill. But it is my birthday on Sunday and DD1's 5th birthday on Friday 30th, so really rather she came out on any other day.

Coffee its lovely to hear from you, cant believe coffeebean is 7 months now! I love that age. So glad he is settling at night now, makes such a difference.

Sorry for so few personals, hello to everyone else xx

Grandj and Babylily, congratulations on your baby boys . Lovely names too. I would always draw a blank when it came to boys names, but the ones I've heard on this thread I've just loved. Babylily, I hope Miles has put on some weight. Bella took ages to put the weight she lost after birth back on, and I was convinced there was an underlying cause, but it turned out to be just one of those things (which the ladies here had reassured me would most likely be the case), so hopefully it's the same in your situation also.

Welcome and congratulations to Southfacinhpuddles. Also Rosielee - good to see you here. Never feel you have nothing to contribute or get overwhelmed by feeling you 'should' do personals. Just airing your own thoughts can help others by letting them know they're not alone with their own sometimes bewildering thoughts/fears etc

Gillian, FWIW, I'm sure no one would think you're a cow for preferring one sex or another - nothing wrong with that - I've had my preferences over the years. I do get irritated though when people are disappointed on my behalf for 'only' having girls

Excellent nuchal results MrsBigz and scan for MyangelAva - yay for you both!

Helenlouisey, think I've said it before, but I hope it won't be too long before you get some good news. Fingers firmly crossed for you here

Ghislaine and Manitz - I can't believe how many pregnant women on this thread have had scares of one sort or another, and I can only think that (as someone else has mentioned) it's most likely them being over-cautious when they're scanning due to the histories involved, which of course is good on one hand, but the added worry until you get the all clear must have been a strain..So happy all is well

Natz, glad you're feeling better. Coughing and already stretched tummy muscles are not a good combination! Will be checking in for news from you !!

Cherry, can I suggest (if I haven't already) for those times you find yourself worrying, to go on the 'normal' pg boards and let yourself be distracted by the 'normal' pregnancy worry and chitchat there? I found that helped, temporarily at least, but you haven't got long to go now, so short bursts of distraction from the worry might just help get you over the line. I vote for Babybug btw - very cute :)

Coffee, you saying the startle reflex scared you reminded me of the day we were taking Bella home from the NICU, and me being freaked out by her having hiccoughs I was convinced it was respiratory related. In my defense, it was a major case of the hiccoughs, and even the midwife I called to check her felt the need to get a second opinion from the consultant just to be sure.
Lovely to get an update on Coffeebean (did we rename him in the end?)

Quick update from me (I do go on). Bella doing great and is now 20 months and is sooo funny. She loves to have her little daycare friends here. DH has been working away for a month at a time, 4,000 km away (still in Oz though - it's amazing how far you can travel without actually leaving this country), and will continue to do so for a couple more months. Big girls both on sleepovers tonight, hence me having the time to catch up on thread :)
I'm now officially homeschooling 14yr old DD. Have been approved for two years, which is the maximum time they can approve you for at once. We're (DD & I) thinking though, to do it for the rest of this year and next year, then hopefully slot back in to school at the start of Year 10.
It's more to do with getting back up to speed with her schoolwork (which I know wouldn't happen if she remained in school) than the 'friend' situation, which I know would sort itself out eventually. While she's still friends with a few of the girls, there are some that are still being absolutely vile. We had her independently assessed for English and Maths, and they said that there has been very little, if any, learning since the beginning of high school (1 and 1/2 years). That made my decision a bit easier.
Anyway, I could go on, but it's now 1:30am (!), so I better get some sleep

Goodnight all, and a big wave to those I haven't mentioned - you know who you are xxxx

PS: Did we ever hear from Stormbird?

Sorry for another fleeting post, just wanted to let you know that babynatz arrived yesterday morning at 3:37am weighing 7lb 9.5oz. I went into hospital on Sunday (my birthday) because I wasn't getting many movements, turns out she was having a lovely snooze, but my blood pressure was raised and +3 of protein in my urine so they flagged me up as suspected pre-eclampsia and decided as I was already 3 days over due to induce me there and then!!!
So we were taken off to the induction ward, had some gel and moved into established labour at about 11pm on Sunday, moved onto the labour ward where they broke my waters at 3:05am, and beautiful Sienna was born at 3:37am.
We were back home by 1:30pm yesterday to introduce the girls to their baby sister. All is going well, Sienna taken well to the breast and settling in well with her big sisters.
We haven't officially agreed on her name yet, but Sienna most likely be the name we go with
Hope everyone is well, will catch up properly soon x

natz, congratulations, saw you had posted and hoped it was news. I hope you are all enjoying yourselves with the new baby and continue to do so over the next few days/weeks. hurray. x

Calloo Callay, o frabjous day! Well done to Natz and welcome to Sienna. I'm sure if she's inherited your colouring she is beautiful indeed.

Congratulations Natz, lovely news! Welcome to the world little Sienna! Enjoy all the newborn cuddles, I hope you can also get some well deserved rest. Much love to you and your family xxxx

PS: why, oh why am I getting broody speaking of newborn cuddles?

Yay - wonderful news Natz! Welcome to little Sienna (lovely name) and great to hear she's settling in well. Sure your whole family is smitten!
Cherry x

congrats Natz (i was sure i posted last night but not there - but just wanted to say so pleased she arrived safely and what a beautiful choice of name!!! enjoy every moment (which i know you will!!) xxxxxxxxxxxx

Natz, I'm so so pleased for you - and what a lovely name Sienna is. So glad she arrived safely and that you are all happily at home together. Congrats!!

congratulations to you natz and welcome to the world baby sienna!

Miles is improving, thankyou for all the kind wishes, and shared experiences. His weight is now up to 6lbs 11, a pound below birthweight. I'm having to give formula topups on recommendation of a doctor willing to ignore hospital protocol, but still mainly breastfeeding and once he is following a growth centile will ditch the formula completely. He's still like a newborn, at 3 weeks old...which is kinda nice in a way as my girls were great big puddings and didn't look 'new' for very long!
Feeding frequently and after a projectile vomit over laptop horror last week I'm not finding very much time to get online... so quick hiya to everyone
xx

Babylily - glad Miles is improving!!! Not sure if I said it but I had exactly the same thing with DS1 - i too did combined feeding until his weight went back up a little and then was able to drop the formula and exclusively breastfeed - sound though like he's definitely going in the right direction!!

Natz, hope little Sienna is doing well - bet she's getting lots of love and cuddles from her sisters!!!

quick post from me as tomorrow I have my 16wk scan AND they're going to see if they can tell the gender......am sooooo excited, never had a gender guess before!! also we are taking the boys with us, and it is our way of 'telling' them we're expecting a baby. finally getting to be a little more relaxed about this pregnancy - we may even announce to friends and family tomorrow (only parents and siblings know so far)!! Going to have to be soon though coz I can't really fit in my trousers any more....... :)

Natz - congratulations! How lovely, and such a pretty name. Enjoy this beautiful time, and please give Sienna a cuddle from me xx

Just quickly, Babylily, so glad Miles is putting on the weight,
& MrsBigz, good luck for tomorrow - hope you get to find out the sex xx

Was debating yesterday whether to update photos on my profile, and you know where it shows what threads you've recently posted on - well it said I had posted on a thread in the feminism board, which I remember reading, but definitely didn't post (the title 'My 13 year old is a bitch' drew me in). I ended up searching for my 'post' and lo and behold, there it was 5 or so posts in - a string of random letters - Bella's first mumsnet post! She often plays with my phone, but I hadn't realised I was still logged in. The thread went on for another page and a half and no one had so much as mentioned it, but I do wonder what they must have thought. Was half tempted to send a post explaining what had happened, but figured as no one had posted on the thread for a few days, to let it go. Still though...

Love to all xx

just a very quick update from me.....we had our 16wk scan yesterday and all is looking well - baby is measuring right on track, and everything good and in the right place!!!!
Oh - and we found out (quite undoubtedly ) that we are having another boy!!!!! :o wow - this is going to be a very testosterone filled house!!!!!
really happy and the two boys (particularly ds1) are over the moon at the thought of a new "little brudder" xx

hello. I'm glad bella chose feminism. congrats mrsbigz, glad all is well with your scan. We also have a little more testosterone in our house as baby manitz was born last wednesday. he is called sacha (to the disgust of the dds who think it's a girls name and are going to call him by his middle name instead - leon).

i was 35 weeks andmy waters broke at 3.30 am, had a c section at 8am. He had breathing difficulties whilst i was in recovery and has been in intensive care since then. It has been a slow process to get to know him - have now washed him twice and changed 5 nappies but he is moving to special care today and he was moved off pressured air and out of the incubator yesterday and appears to be coping well.

i was never worried about his long term prognosis as this is common in cs babies but as you can imagine I have been very up and down emotionally. Nicu is a really traumatic place to be and I was discharged on fridya but was terrified about coming home without him so persuaded them to keep me in a little longer. As it is I was let out yesterday but stayed with him until late evening. Had 6 hours sleep last night and I really needed it as barely slept in hospital so am really glad to get home, also great to see the other kids. However he will be allowed to come home once feeding is established so I'm planning to be at the hospital as much as possible to get that sorted.

There are some really sick babies where sacha has been and that plus being alone after giving birth has brought back a lot of emotions from my first termination. I am so glad he is healthy and that we were temporary visitors and cant wait to change many more nappies! x