Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

[LittlePoot]

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

well baby number one was 9lb 13oz at 10 days late, i never went into labour so had a c section, 3 years later baby number 2 11lb 10oz 4 days late , another non labour had a c section, baby number 3 edwards born on 3rd march 2011 at 12 weeks was put under, as i had never given birth i didnt want the first time to be a sad time.now baby number 4 i am scared about the size , hopefully i will get growth scans as i did with baby number 2, 1st sept will be my 20 week scan , hope everyone is ok

Natz- with you on the not sleeping. baby is awake until past midnight every night and then wakes up at about 5 am....and I'm now up every hour at least to go to the toilet...add to that 2 x wriggly DD's who want to be close to me and the baby all the time, it being too hot to sleep (in scotland!!!) it's like musical beds in our house. DH is the only one getting a good nights sleep! Oh well, it's all good prep for 5 weeks time....
Grandj & Natz- my DD2 is starting school too- in just over 3 weeks! Feels very wrong as she is very very much my baby! I have gone the other way with uniform- she has everything right down to the new pants! Even got the school shoes this week (lovely patent ones as they don't need polishing!). Thankfully she only does 4 days of half days then is full time so I will have lots of time at home to sit and struggle with the agony of breastfeeding again.....
Eavers, can't believe it's only 2 weeks for you- or less......

Mrsbigz- hope the 8 days till your scan fly by.

Yikes babylily - only 5 weeks left?! These due dates are all coming around so quickly. Am still getting very broken sleep. The heat is not helping at all, and unfortunately living on a busy road, the traffic wakes me up if the baby doesn't.... I swear I have aged about 15 years in the past 3 weeks!

Woke up this morning all swollen in my feet and hands. As I had pre-eclampsia with DD1 I wanted to get checked out so saw the practice nurse today. I have very low blood pressure (that explains the light headedness and lack of energy) and lots of sugar in my urine, so now have to do a 12 hour fast tonight and get my blood taken tomorrow and checked for diabetes and iron levels.

7 weeks 2 days till due date, really dragging now!!!

Hope everyone is well, and all the pregnant ladies aren't suffering too much with the heat. It was 32 degrees in my car yesterday.... eek!

Really should tidy the kitchen, it's been untouched for 3 days now. Cant use pregnancy as an excuse for everything x

wow, there are a lot of due dates coming up aren't there!!!? it's wierd as i was thinking earlier that i should be 35wks with Eve now......and yet here i am again tip-toe-ing through the 1st trimester!!
Natz, hope you DON'T clean the kitchen, instead sit down and relax - this heat must be awful while you are so far along. at least we've had a good downpour this evening which has cleared the air somewhat.
So......i am 7 weeks tomorrow. thanks for the wishes BabyLily - just under a week to go before i find out whether there is a little bean really truly growing in there.
do you know what is strange (probably sounds strange anyway) - but what is worrying me (on top of the usual stuff) is the lack of spotting i've had! i've had spotting in ALL of my previous pregnancies, so my 2 boys, 2 m/c's and Eve. this time i had a spot (literally a spot) around 8dpo (implantation??) and that has been it. nada. i'm completely weirding out about it, even though i know it's probably a good thing, but it isn't the 'norm' for me. every time i go to the toilet i'm checking the paper???? anyway, enough of me - all will be revealed next week anyway.

Hope everyone is keeping ok. i'm sorry for lack of personals but there are so many of you ladies on this board (plus all the oldies who pop back and say hi and update - which is lovely :) ) but i get a little lost about who everyone is and don't want to miss anyone out!! but am sending lots of love and will speak soon xxxxx

Hi all,
Alot of you won't know me.. I used to be on this board, I lost to babies to a chromosomal disorder called triploidy. Anyway, I said I would come back on to let you all know when I had the baby. Well, she finally came. Last Monday. 9lb 1oz. Thank god it was all straight forward (although I had a third degree tear) and she is delicious.
So what I want to know is, why are my anxious feelings not gone? I'm not completely obsessed there is something wrong with her. She's sleeping too much/ too little. She seems fractious, she seems totally placid. She keeps going cross eyed, she seems to look at me blankly. She hasbt done a poo all day, shes pooing round the clock. It just goes on and on. I really want to enjoy this baby. It took me so long to get here. But I'm paralysed by this fear that something is going to go horribly wrong. On the other hand it could just be baby blues. I just thought if anyone could understand it would be you ladies? X

Ooooo, made the big mistake of taking a quick peek here (on the lookout for any news from Kittens) when I haven't actually got time to read and post properly! Apologies, in advance, for another very quick one, but will definitely catch up this weekend

Just had to say a big congratulations Sarahmia! Excellent news. I sooooo understand your feelings that something bad is just around the corner. Wish I had time to reply properly, but just let me say, with what you've been through, it's no wonder you feel as you do. But do remember they're just feelings - let them come, let them go - they mean nothing. Again, congratulations on your little girl (9lb! Well done) xx

Also saw mention of Bezzy's great news! Congratulations to you too, Bez I have thought of you often, and have always hoped to see you here. Just lovely to come on and read news like that xx

Everyone else, I have missed you all. I can't wait until I get to sit and catch up with everyone's news. Love to you all xxxx

Congratulations Sarahmia!!! Wonderful news. How you are feeling is totally normal. I was exactly the same with my first 2 DD's and no doubt will be the same this time around. DD1 is nearly 5 and I still fret about her eating/sleeping/concentration/independance/lack of independance etc - the list is endless, it just changes as they get to different ages. DD2 suffers the same mummy anxieties but I try to remind myself that what I worry about with her I worried about with DD1 and no longer do.

Mummys job is to worry, fuss and panic. Many people expect the anxiety to go once baby is here, but then begins the life long worry for our children. It does get easier, just try to take it in your stride.

I spent a huge amount of time with DD1 seeing my GP, health visitor and on the phone to NHS direct (so much so that they had my number listed and once said my name before I did ), but this is all part of having a precious tiny baby and loving them so much. Any good health professional will always welcome your worries or concerns and give you as much help, support, advice and reasurrance as you need.

Hello to everyone else, just a fly by visit to say had my bloods done today and should have the results in a few days. Fasting wasn't as hard as I expected, but was too hot last night to sleep! Kitchen was half tidied last night but then gave up and went to bed!

Mrsbigz, hopefully the next week will speed past for you xx

mrs bigz my baby read was due 1st sept, and thats the day of my 20 week scan, i never found out the sex so i am hoping it will be in my notes when i go see dr at hospital on 12th aug. cant be caliing it baby read forever would be nice to know, but will be very upset if i find out it was a girl, and when i have my scan it better be a girl lol, i can't cope with 3 boys and my hubby lol need some girl power, as i am hitting 30 in oct would be nice

Gillian, thank you. I kind of feel the same way as you. knowing Eve was a girl (finally after the hospital tole me she was a boy initially) was hard as with 2 boys as well, a little girl would be lovely. however, my head keeps reminding me that all i want this time around is a healthy baby, whatever the sex! Eve was due on the 7th September, so not long after your Baby Read was due.

Congrats to Sarahmia on the birth of your little girl. I can only imagine the anxiety you feel. i was anxious with both my boys after they were born, more so with the 2nd as he was 9 weeks prem, but this time around if get that far i think i will be a complete nervous wreck. just remember it is only natural for us to worry about our children xxx

Hello all. A lot of the newer people on the board won't recognise me. I lost a son to T21 in April '10 and found a lot of comfort in the sister board. I became pregnant again back in July last year and was extremely lucky to give birth by ELCS at the beginning of July to my lovely DS who is fast asleep, snuffling and shuffling on my front (and making it difficult to type!)

I have been lurking for every single day of my pregnancy but haven't been able to post as I felt completely unable to offer anything useful to anyone as I've been really struggling with social anxiety and have been having counselling for it for the last 5 months or so. Basically, I haven't been able to go out and speak to anyone as I became sure that if anyone found out what decision DH and I had made they would judge me as being an evil and bad mother and I couldn't deal with that. I'm starting to be able to come to terms with that but I thought I should post now just to tell others that it is possible to have a healthy baby after a termination for abnormalities.

I also wanted to agree with Sarahmia - I'm also feeling v anxious following DS' birth. My HV is coming to see us in a couple of days to see what support she can offer - it might be worth doing this with midwife/hv if you're finding the anxiety is starting to get on top of you.

I'm really sorry for no personals - I have been cheering you on and being so, so glad for you, especially the oldies who helped me last year. All best for those so close to their due dates - not long to go til you meet your dcs. I'm sorry I can't be more help than just being a testimony to the fact a beautiful, healthy, live child is possible after our experiences.

Congratulations to Sarahmia (I've been hoping you would pop in) and to Lisbeth. I'm sure the anxiousness you feel is very normal, especially after what we've all been through. I know I can't believe I've gotten as far through this pregnancy as I have, and keep waiting for it all to go wrong.

Lisbeth, I'm so sorry you feel that people might judge you. I doubt they will - most people are just relieved it hasn't happened to them and they haven't had to make the decisions we've made. You can always talk to us if you don't want to talk to people IRL. There is room here for all sorts of chat, not just reports on scans and tests etc.

And congratulations to bezzy. You won't know me, but after devouring all the old threads I know a bit about your story, and I'm delighted for you.

Hi Everyone,

Congratulations to Sarahmia on the arrival of your little girl. I think the early days are fraught with worry and anxiety for anyone, not least someone who has been through such a difficult time. In my experience it does get easier as time goes on and you find your feet and get to know your baby better and better. Plus newborns just seem so fragile, it's hard not to worry. But they are more resilient than they look. Hope you're getting lots of support in RL.

Lisbeth - congratulations to you too and sorry to hear that you've had a really hard time of it with the social anxiety. I remember you from when I very first joined the sister thread and you gave me some reassurance about the genetic testing we were having. I'm glad your counselling has been helping and so glad you updated us on the arrival of your DS. It's always so reassuring to read of healthy babies arriving on this thread. Very happy for you.

Natz - hope you get good news from the blood results and can relax a bit. Fasting sounds terrible to me as I seem to be eating constantly at the minute - well done!

MrsBigz/Gillian - I felt at the start of this pregnancy that I really really wanted it to be a girl. I felt that because I'd lost my baby girl, that I should have 2 DDs in my family and so it would only be the right order of things if this baby was a girl too. I felt quite bad about this feeling because of course what matters most is having a healthy baby. But, as time has gone on I've felt less and less like that and more like I dont mind at all either way. I'm now totally focused on just having a healthy baby and will be delighted no matter what. I know I can't replace my lost baby girl and actually to me I already do have 2 DD's in my family just one of them isn't here - iyswim.

Wondering if there is any news from Eavers?

Babylily/Grandj/Manitz - hope all is well with you on the home stretch.

My due date is 8th Nov (I think Can't was asking) but there is a fair chance they may induce me early. I had obstetric cholestasis with my DD and they induced me straight away when it came to light at 39 wks. It was very scary at the time as I was hoping for as natural a birth as possible and was convinced my baby was going to go overdue. Whilst I'm really hoping I don't get it again this time around, the rate of reoccurance is pretty high so they'll start monitoring me from 36 weeks. It's another thing to worry about that I could do without!

Mishtabel - good to hear from you!

Ghislaine - hope you're well - when do you get your anomoly scan? Will they do it before 20 weeks?

Love to everyone else and MrsBigz - hope the days up to your scan arent dragging too much.

Cherry x

Hello everyone, what a busy thread! Oldie checking in, and as usual apologising for lack of too many personals. Hard to keep up with a very active almost 6 months old?

I?m so happy to read so many happy news. Congratulations sarahmia and lisbeth! Sarah, I?ve worried constantly for the first few weeks of DS?s life, not helped by the fact that he had prolonged jaundice? but now I feel much more settled and able to enjoy him more. I hope this comes soon for you too.

Congratulations too to Ghislaine and mrsbigz, wishing you uneventful pregnancies! And of course congratulations to bezzy, great to see you over here again!

So who is next? Is it manitz, then babylily, then grandj then Natz? Did I miss anyone? Sorry if I did, my brain is fried at the moment. Also, waiting for news from eavers.

Cherry, fingers crossed there will be no complications this time, roll on November!

Big wave to Cantdo and Mishta, lovely to hear from you.

I am lurking but rarely find time to do a proper post. Bambino is almost 24 weeks now and very very very active, keeping me on my toes all day. I know, I know, he will be more demanding when he starts crawling, as everyone is ?threatening? me. He likes some toys, but is happiest when spoken to and lying on a mat in the room I am in, so he can practice rolling over all the time, and then crying for me to turn him over? I started weaning him this week but am taking it really slowly because he has eczema so is prone to allergies. Anyway, might have to do BLW as he is very wilful and doesn?t let me spoon feed him. What a fun toddler he will be, I can only imagine?

So this is the big news in the Coffee household, all to do with baby food and first teeth? I?ll keep on lurking and wishing everyone well. Hello to Kittens, don?t feel like you have to post but we?re here, cheering you on. xxxx

Hi all

No news from me yet. Much to everyone's surprise I have now reached 38+5 after 2 slightly prem DC. I hadn't realised how tough the final weeks are! Still being monitored for high blood pressure, but other than that fine.

Sarahmia- congratulations on the birth of your daughter. It is perfectly normal to have such worries after what you have previously experienced. The anxieties should ease with time.

Babylily/Grandj/Manitz - hope everything is ok with you all, not long to go now.

Hey ladies I would just like to pop in and ask a quick question if you don't mind? I usually use the sister thread but didn't seem right to post it there....

Has anyone any opinions on these ebay super sensitive pregnancy tests?? Are they REALLY as sensitive as they make out? x

hey bluecat!! in my own experience, i've not got on well with the internet pregnancy tests. i was using cheap opks from ebay by the bundle (and usually got a few hpts thrown in for good measure!!) but never found them as sensitive as say first response, or even the tesco own brand hpts are ok too. with the internet ones, it was always a few days later that a +test would show up on an ebay one!

off for my scan tomorrow at 2pm (aaaarrrrgggghhhhh!!!!) thankfully i'm going to a friends in the morning and for lunch, so will be pretty occupied until about 1pm!!! it's back in the same scan room though that i found out the bad news with Eve - anyone have this? how did you cope? i'm under consultant care (partly because of Eve and partly as ds2 was 9 weeks prem) and i've requested the same consultant that dealt with me with Eve as she was lovely, but i'm still aprehensive about going back into that room, and still petrified she'll scan and find nothing there.

nothing i can do though.......will update you tomorrow when i get back - wish me luck xx

Quick note to say hope tomorrow goes well MrsBigz. Will check in later in the day to see your news. Just to say I had same scan dep, same consultant that did amnio last time. They also took me in the same counselling room where I had to take the tablet the last time to talk to the geneticist which was particularly hard. You cope because you have to and though the memories are there, I think the new anxieties detract from dwelling too much on what went before. It's not easy. Tomorrow is your first hurdle, just go through it and don't be afraid of the feelings. The day will pass and hopefully all will be well.

On phone so sorry if typos and for lack of personals. Bluecat, sorry can't help on tests, I only ever used Sainsbury own make and got a positive I think a day or two after AF was due.

Thanks ladies I'm clutching at straws at the mo (or pee sticks!) as my af has been missing for nearly 4 days! I had a very very very very faint + on clearblue plus on Thursday which then dried to a blue but very thin line! After looking on-line I think this is some issue with this test so can rule that out! All ebay cheapies are BFN so I'm guessing I just didn't ovulate this month and af will not make a visit! Strange how we go from praying it doesn't show to praying it does! Such is life! If at first and all that! xxx

Good luck mrsbigz! Fingers crossed all will be well, I had my scan in a different room in this pregnancy but went to the same FMU. My legs had turned to jelly as we were approaching the hospital, but as Cherry said we cope because we have too, we are stronger than we thought.

Bluecat, I had a BFP with a Superdrug test 2 or 3 days before AF was due. The line was faint, but clear. Good luck!

Eavers, great news about reaching full term. I had lost track and thought you were overdue. So we'll have a little eavers on the thread soon :)

I have to dash, big wave to everyone! xxxx

hi ladies - only a quickie from me, will catch up again later. the scan went ok so first hurdle crossed. was all teary though sat waiting in the same room as before, and had a slight panic moment when the consultant was squinting at the screen.....ended up having a transvaginal scan and baby there, measuring 8wks (so 2 days ahead of where i think i should be) - heartbeat flickering. next step is the nuchal, and from that we're going to decide whether to go straight for cvs or wait for amnio (which i think i would prefer.....but not sure really still). first hurdle over.

Hi everyone,
Well I finally got a chance to catch up properly on the weekend, but it took me so long (about 2 month worth of posts!) that I didn't get around to actually posting. So many congratulations in order, for babies been born, new pregnancies and scan results that I'm not even going to attempt personals - just know that I'm so happy for you all. I love to come here and read good news for those who so well deserve it.

Have we heard from Stormbird? She would be overdue now surely? If you're lurking, stormbird and just haven't got time, no worries, but we'd love an update when you can

Was very sorry to read about Helnlouisey. If you're reading, I hope life is kind to you and gives you another BFP soon. You must have been/be devastated

Seems quite a few of you have had a few scares in your pregnancies. Was very happy to hear all ended happily though

Good to see some new faces too :)

Cant, yes my 'blog' is still there somewhere, though I haven't updated it since we moved in at Christmas - very slack. Is something on my to-do list though.
The daycare thing is going well - I only have two to three per day (maximum I can have is 4 as already have Bella) and have cut my days back to 4 days per week, and evenings back to 3 - much more manageable. It certainly beats going back to shiftwork. I don't miss nursing in the slightest, which surprised me a bit. Are you back to work yet?
I'm meant to have 2 children today, but one was ill, and the other one just didn't show up - no call or anything. I think the parents think that I'll be here anyway, as I obviously have no life, so why bother calling (?). I get paid for it anyway (and it gives me a chance to MN), but a courtesy call would be nice....

Coffee, unfortunately I won't be coming to Katie's wedding as she wouldn't fork out the bucks for my flight over - she's a bit tight like that I hear (hi Katie ) Seriously though, if I were rich I would be arranging meet-ups left, right and centre. Would dearly love to actually meet everyone
It sounds like it was hard going for a while there with Victor. Glad it seems to be sorted. Hope the eczema isn't too bad, and that no allergies come to light

We finally got to see an allergist and Bella has tested positive for milk, eggs and peanuts so we have epipens now, which is on one hand a bit scary, but in the other hand, reassuring. No further accidental ingestion of anything though, and having other children around with the daycare is a great opportunity to teach Bella never to share food. Hopefully by the time she's goes to school it will be second nature to her. She does have soy now, which is great for treats (ice cream, yoghurt etc)

Kittens, am keeping an eye out for news from you. Can only think that this time is taking longer for you to conceive because the whole experience is destined to be different for you this time, with a much overdue positive outcome as a result. Good luck, as always

Well, 'she who still wakes for a feed during the night even though she is 18 months old' has woken from her nap, so that's my cue. Hello to everyone I haven't mentioned. Have missed you all xxx

PS Manitz, did you get to take your DC's to Scissor Sisters? (lol at poo in the bath story)

PPS Natz, 3 girls are great :)

mrsbigz- great news on first hurdle. Do you have a date for nuchal? Hoping again that time flies by for you.
xx

hi babylily - thank you :)
no date yet - the consultant said she would get me in at the early end of the scale (think she said it could be done from 11+2, i can't remember). still umming and ahhing over the invasive testing though. part of me just needs to know and as soon as possible, and the other part of me thinks, see what the nuchal says, then make a decision. oh well, will cross that bridge when i come to it. thanks very much for thinking of me xxx

Hi again, just quickly wanted to add to yesterday's post that I hope none of you have been affected by the riots (well of course you're all affected but ykwim). I know Kittens lives in London, but I'm not sure who else? It's been headline news over here the past few days, and although I don't know much about the issues behind it (besides the person being shot by police), it's just sad to see that kind of needless destruction. Hope things are settling down.
Must say I loved seeing footage of residents out in force brandishing their broomsticks - now that's people power :) xxx

PS MrsBigz, meant to say congratulations on your scan. The first and probably trickiest hurdle to cross, in terms of risk of something being wrong (iyswim). Here's to an uneventful pregnancy xx

Oh, and of course a huge congratulations to Lisbeth on the birth of your son. I'm sorry you had such a hard time of it during your pregnancy, but hope that the joy of having your new little one helps you to heal. Another baby to add to the list when we start a new thread (as suggested x Kittens) - yay! Xx