Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

[LittlePoot]

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

Sorry you had a bit of a scare Manitz and glad all seems to be back to normal. No idea what might have happened - probably worth checking with your MW when next you speak? It's hard to hold the paranoia in check though isn't it?! Hopefully your mind will be put at ease soon.

MyAngelAva - glad all went well for you at the FMC, very good news. I can imagine it must have been a huge shock to hear that your blood results with Ava would have been flagged up at 12 weeks had you been under the profs. care. I dont know how I would react in your circumstance but I suppose I am grateful in a way despite the utter heartbreak, that I had my little girl for 20 weeks and had the opportunity to hold her when she was born. If there is a silver lining to such a devastating experience, for me that is it. I dont know if that's of any help at all. Anyway it is good that you can look forward now with major hurdle no.1 over and cleared!

I'm just back from MW appt. They have set up a 'mums' club room at my practice where you get sent on arrival and where you have to wait for the MW to come and get you. 2 workers and a volunteer making small talk about things, offering strawberries and juice and asking loads of questions about the pregnancy. I had to say that I'd lost my last baby at 20 weeks because of the types of questions they were asking and then I felt really awkward and quite upset. They should give you an option of going to the mums room or just staying in the waiting room outside anonymously but they dont, you just get sent there. It's a stupid bloody system and I resent being forced to participate. Sure it's great for some people and the ladies are just doing their job and believe it's a lovely inclusive initative but I just want to go in, take a deep breath, get checked and leave without having to have pointless forced niceties with strangers. It's not all happy exciting for everyone and I cant be the only person who feels that. Anyway bit of a rant there, sorry! I'm going to dread MW appts even more now knowing that I'm going to have to sit through such nonsense every time on arrival.

Anyway, hope everyone else is grand and having a good day!

i had my nuchal scan done today, think it was ok, baby was a wiggler so took 30 mins to do lol, also the size matched the dates from 2 weeks ago, 67.3mm long which is 13 weeks today.also i am really glad my edwards baby was picked up at the 12 week sca,n as i had a abortion on march 2nd and i got preg after my next cycle even thou i had a neg test in may. this is my story
on monday 21st feb, i went for my 12 week scan, there i found out my baby had Exomphalos, sometimes called Omphalocele, this occurs when the abdomen fails to close around the base of the umbilical cord during the early development of the baby. The size of the Exomphalos depends on the number of organs exposed. This is usually the bowel but may include the liver and other organs.The sac containing the exposed organs is usually covered in a protective membrane. The abdominal cavity is sometimes smaller in Exomphalos children due to the organs growing externally. In about 30% of cases Exomphalos occurs in conjunction with other birth defects such as chromosomes problems.
i had my bloods done that day, also told i was being refered to cambridge addenbrookes, where i had an appointment on the friday for a detailed scan and also a cvs. when i got there they had my blood results , not good,not only was my hormones very very low but the down risk was 1:25 but edwards was 1:5, but the doctor gave me odd's of 1:2 so 50/50 on having edwards. on monday my phone rang and they told me it did have edwards, and i went to hospital on tuesday 1st march to be booked in for an abortion for wed 2nd march, as i was 12 weeks 5 day i was put to sleep and 30 mins later it was all over. also as i was over 12 weeks i was able to have a funeral done by the hospital chaplin at the graveyard with all the other babys, so i have a little grave to go to with a little stone. 1 month later i had a monthly, then the next month nothing so did a test but was neg, next month still nothing so did another test , this time was pos, so went for a scan 29th june and found out i was 11 weeks and due 19th jan 2012, fingers crossed this time it will be all ok, i have 2 boys age 6 and 3

Thank you cherry, having had a good chat with my DH I too came to the positive of the fact that I dis actually have her for a short while and I treasure the memories I have of seeing her and holding her etc. In fact when we decided to terminate I had wished I could have kept her in there a bit longer. I'm just angry and upset that I trusted this dr and I don't want him to get away with that negligence- esp as other women are paying him good money for 'false' reassurance.

Manitz and grandj, was horrible scares! I'm hoping that you are both ok and the rest of your pregnancies are quiet!

Gillian, I'm pleased that your nuchal went well today. I'm due 20th Jan! Good luck and let us know the results.

Hi to everyone else I've not mentioned and I hope you're all doing well x

Cherry- I forgot to say- I think you make a valid point on the 'mum's club'. Could you write a letter to the practice and explain why the blubber should be an 'opt in' one? I know that our experiences are rare but lots of people have a history of pregnancy problems and may be nervous and not want to get involved.

I hope that you're feeling ok today x

thanks. all does seem well now and the baby hasn't stopped wiggling since then so am feeling much better but have my first (!) mw appt next week and a gtt also so quite booked up. another consultant appt the week after so will check at one of those.

myangelava, does the hospital have a pals service?perhaps you could ask for some sort of investigation as to why a consultant missed something so important. maybe he's newly qualified and is missing a bit of knowledge? with my first termination for hypoplastic right heart I didn't get a nuchal because they took so long to get me an appointment, hence why my anomaly scan was not till 23 weeks and why the termination was so late. I'm sure a nuchal scan would have indicated something as heart problems also show with a large measurement I don't really know if that would have been that much easier as we may have then had to wait for a cardiac scan but I suppose I'll never know.

Gillian, I really hope your nuchal comes back with good results I will keep an eye out for your results. It must be traumatic having tests as everything must still be so raw for you.

x

the weird thing is that my 20 week scan where i will find out if i have got the girl i sooooo want , is on my old due date 1st sept

hello! it still feels a little surreal actually posting on this thread. i'm having to pinch myself for as of now i am still pregnant....and now officially late!!!

MyAngel, i'm so glad that your scan went so smoothly and you were able to take the decision not to have a cvs. that is something i would dearly love to happen if we get that far, but i know - one step at a time.
what a shock about your previous doctor though - i don't really know what to say, except i think if it were me i would definitely raise it with the hospital - it would be horrible if it were happening to other women too, just because this doctor wasn't able to diagnose from bloods, or just relying on a computer!

Gillian, well done for getting through your nuchal scan too, and i hope that your results come back quickly and give you some peace of mind going forward in your pregnancy.

Manitz, sorry to hear about your scare, but i'm glad that your baby is moving around lots and everything seems to have settled down for you.

Stormbird, look forward to hearing the news of your new arrival - how exciting!!

Grandj - sorry you've had a scare too - if it helps to reassure you at all my ds2 was born at 31+3wks and he is now 18months old and absolutely fine.

Cherry - that mums club sounds awful - i can't believe that it is compulsory and i would raise it with your mw that you are not comfortable with it. surely they wouldn't want to be making pregnant mums feel uneasy!?!

afm - not much to tell really. still can't believe that i am pregnant and certainly plan to not tell anyone IRL until the very last minute!!! a little like My Angel, this baby's due date is 9 days before Eve's birthday, so there is a chance if i went late that it could be born that day......although with a ds2 being prem i'm apparently more likely to go early this time.

anyway, enough about me, i just wanted to pop on and say hi

speak soon xxxxxxxxx

Hello, just wanted to stop in to say hi to everyone. Been a busy thread recently!
Grandj and Manitz, I hope all is now settled and you are both ok and taking it easy?! Gillian, glad the nuchal went well and wish you well for the Anomoly.
Ghislaine - how did the move go? Sorry, you may have already posted about this, just skim read. Hope you are keeping well and so glad the CVS results and scan gave you the happy news
Cherry - I also think the mums room is not the greatest idea if it is compulsary. Would definately have a word with the midwife when you see her next time.
MyAngel, sorry to hear about your previous doctors neglegance! I dont know how I would feel if it were me in that situation. Our problems were picked up at the 12 week scan so things progressed very swiftly for us after that. Hope you are ok after that, and reassured by Prof Nicolaides.
Mrsbigz - hello, welcome and congratulations! I hope the weeks pass quickly so you can get on the radar and start having your checks. We found out we were expecting just before I was due on, and the first 3 weeks dragged by!
I hope that everyone else is well? Sorry for so few personals

All is going well here, I am 30 weeks today - although could quite easily be mistaken for being full term, belly is huge! Baby is wrigglig all the time, especially of a night time. 2am is her party time and she lets me know about it . I have had an awfully itchy and sore tummy over the past couple of weeks, which my consultant has now diagnosed as eczema so am slapping on the Aveeno cream and doing my best not to scratch. DD1 tells me off if she sees me scratching (she also suffers quite badly with eczema so is being mummy for me )

Also only one week before DD1 leaves pe-school to go to primary school in September ((begins sobbing again)) - cannot believe how quickly these past 5 years have gone, and DD2 will be joining her next September!!! Yikes.

Feeling so emotional at the moment - and very sleep deprived, but other than that all is good.

Hope everyone is keeping well and will catch up again soon xx

Oh and BTW - Take That were fantastic!!! I am sooo in love with Robbie again

Thanks for all good wishes, thankfully baby seems happy to stay inside now, although it's good to hear of babies being born early and being fine, every week makes a difference now I know.

Also just wanted to say MyAngelAva, I think doctors misdiagnose Edwards babies all the time. Like you, I was given a low risk result after my nuchal scan from the computer, and the only reason I found out there could be a problem was because I looked at my individual hormone levels when I got the blood results through (some hospitals don't even send the results). I was hypervigilant because only a few months before, I'd had a termination after my baby was diagnosed with Turners Syndrome so I was paranoid that I'd have another chromosome problem. If I hadn't noticed that the hormone levels were so low they were off the scale then I, like you, would have carried on happily to my 20 week scan and maybe even beyond without suspecting a problem. As it was, I had to fight for a referral for more testing, and on many occasions they told me they were only "allowing" me to have more tests because of my previous pregnancy, as I was low risk for a problem that time around.

I'm with a different hospital this time around, but never had any acknowledgement that they were at fault. In fact, even after Edwards was diagnosed, the consultant continued to insist that there was no proven links between low hormones and Edwards Syndrome, which is just completely incorrect and worrying that "experts" can be so ignorant.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was dismissing what happened to you by saying it happens all the time - really hope it didn't sound like that. It just makes me so cross when I hear about this kind of thing, because I remember how hard it was when I knew there was a problem and everyone was treating me like I was a paranoid idiot and patting me on the head sort of thing. Bl**dy doctors!

when i went for the cvs, they had my results there, and they said my hormones were very very low and that the baby might already be dead, it wasnt , but it was edwards and i do think i was very lucky to had the tummy not formed which 30% is chromosome problem at my 12 week scan which i was only 11 weeks by the sizeof it 45mm so i found out very early and in the end i was pregnant again just over a month after the abortion, if it all wernt found out then , then i wouldn't be 13 weeks preg now. scan was 21st feb

But that's appalling. If the hormones are low then they should raise it with you, shouldn't they? Otherwise what's the point in going and paying them good money to check for Downs, Edwards and Pataus and having the blood test in the first place? It's just all wrong- they have the info right there!

Also, that test and the results at 12 weeks almost made me not have the amnio at 26 weeks because I was sure that there was nothing wrong..... Hence the utter shock when it was diagnosed. I'm glad that you had the knowledge (although not the experience) to fight grandj, although you shouldn't have had to. It makes me so cross!

hi was just checking in quickly to see whether there has been any news from stormbird!? hope that your baby is imminent now!

i hope everyone else is doing well, my big news is that.....i'm still pregnant!!! :)
still having to pinch myself daily, and can't get rid of the fear that something is going to go wrong, but taking these early days one day at time.

Hi everyone! Sounds like congratulations are due all round... great scan news, and new pregnancy news, and scares-turning-out-to-be-ok news! I'm sorry not to be more personal, I'm just popping in to say hi to you all. It all feels very positive around here! Apart from Stormbird (do come back and update us on baby news please Stormbird, v exciting), who is due next?

All fine here. If Kittens is reading, how are you? And I'd also like to ask Coffee how the bambinocino is doing.

Mishtabel, do you still have a blog? Your daycare sounded exhausting; you're a hero managing that. How is lovely Bella?

OK, baby awake here, but more soon, hopefully....

just a very quick one from me to say i've bitten the bullet and rang up. today i am 5 weeks, so i've rung the consultant (at the antenatal assessment unit where i'll be under her care) - and they have booked me an early scan for the 8th August....i'll be nearly 8 weeks by then so should be able to tell if there is a heartbeat etc. then my booking in appointment is for the 16th. Eeek. it almost feels real now. one. day. at. a. time.....

bloods are low risk, 1:3600 for downs, and 1:10000 for edwards, last time downs was 1:25 and eddys 1:5 , it was eddys last time, so this time i dont want a cvs

Hi everyone! Cantdo, you must be psychic, I was thinking about you yesterday, how are you and your beautiful DDs?

I'm afraid I am too tired for personals (again), but congratulations to everyone, I am so happy to read good news, even if I don't have time to post anymore.

Bambino is good, he is 21 weeks and sooooo active, wriggling and turning and babbling and giggling all day. His sleep is much better generally, but he is teething (has already cut his first tooth) and some nights can still be difficult.

I was wondering how the other "oldies" are, Mishta, Littlepoot, Gina, Rachel, Catlady, Allstars, Kittens, Katie, Numpty...

Hi - an oldie checking in; I'm not often here now partly because I'm finding it hard to keep up with everyone (though as Cant says, it all sounds like good news; still thinking of HelenLouisy though, hope she gets better news soon). BabyJ is now just over 1 year old and time has really flown! She's walking around like a proper little lovey, complete with handbag - very cute. She's only just cut her first tooth (almost thought it wasn't going to happen!) but looks like the others will follow very soon.

Good to hear your news, Coffee and Cant . Also wondering along with everyone else how Stormbird is getting on - GOOD LUCK if you are still lurking! I'm really pleased to see Gillian's got good results; hope you can relax and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy (as much as you can with 2 small boys, anyway...). And congratulations MrsBigz; glad you are here .

Helloooo so sorry for the long absense. Another old timer, like Numpty, finding it hard to keep up. Esp now i am working too!

All good here. Just back from a week in France where i was a bridesmaid for one of my bestest friends. Had an amazing time but very tired! We stayed in a chateau with 7 flights of stairs between our bedroom and the pool - lugging a nearly one year old up and down all day was not easy ;)

Felix is getting more and more amazing by the day, he is ill with a nasty ear infection at the mo and we had a puke filled night last night which was fun. He continues to be a ridiculoulsy happy baby through it all though - he really lives up to his name. He is close to walking now too, good at walking holding my hand and he can stand up for a bit on his own so i don't imagine it will be long.

sorry for the lack of personals but i'm too scared i will miss people out so i will just say a big congratulations on all the good news and a big welcome to all the new people - you have found a good home here :)

Kittens if you are still keeping up with the thread how are you and how is your dad doing? Hope all is ok lovely x

hello.So much to catch up on, so much been going on, glad to hear that everything is ticking along with everyone, despite some scary times..(grandj & manitz). Really good to hear good nuchal results from MyAngelAva and gillian. congratulations mrsbigz!

I'm 34 weeks today and had my consultant app to book in my C-section date, and expected to go away all happy...But it's now all a little bit scary again. Bump is measuring 6 weeks too small (hasn't grown since last appointment apparently) so have to go back on Wed for a growth scan and another consultant appointment. The world and his wife have been telling me how small I am (everyone thinks it's a compliment for some reason), and it had been stressing me out a bit, but today the Dr told me I need to closely monitor movement (he is so active it hurts so that seems to be ok), and that he may need to be delivered early if the scan shows him to be as small as expected.
Of course, I've just googled reasons, and abnormalities is right up there for causes of small babies, alongside advanced maternal age (I'm 39)
Ironically I also met a mum in the waiting room who I know in a professional capacity...(she is an addict with 6 children in the care system) and her bump was absolutely massive compared to mine despite only being 30 weeks...whereas there's me with all my healthy bloody lifestyle and they are talking 'failure to thrive'.
My DD's were both 9lb, with DD1 I was enormous, with DD2 I was always about 3cm smaller than dates. half of me thinks it will be fine, I have a pilates trained tummy, I just carry my big babies small (at 26 weeks they said he was already over 2lb). the other half of me...is the half that remembers how it can all go wrong.
sorry, moan over. I barely get 5 minutes to open my laptop and when I do all I do is vent. Off to make dinner for starving DD's who have just demolished the fruit bowl.

Oh babylily, sorry to hear you are worried. I am sure it's fine but that is easy for me to say. Coincidentally, I had a growth scan today because of the scare the other week and baby is measuring huge. Of course I am busy googling what that "means" and it seems that it's nothing but I can't help worrying. What I did want to say is that my bump is measuring slightly small so it was a big surprise to hear the baby is actually big. Fundal height measurement is notoriously unreliable as so many things can affect it (particularly baby's position) so try not to worry, please. Even when you have the scan they are apparently often wrong as to predicted weight as babies all grow at different rates at different times.

So sorry you are worried. I have been having a worry relapse myself over the last few weeks what with premature labour scare (again can be linked to fetal abnormality) and being off work which seems to give me more time to think.

Love to everyone and sorry for no other personals, dinner about to come out of the oven xx

hi babylily, sorry this is so worrying for you. i know quite a few people who have flumoxed the professionals and have been told baby is exceptionally big/small and comes out pretty average. at my mw appt she said I'm measuring 29 weeks when was only 25.5 weeks. however she revised this and said that fundal height indicated 29 weeks but feeling around the sides she said the size was actually more like the real gestation. I think it's cos I'm short so the baby takes up length of my torso but not width or maybe the way it's sitting.

on the other hand a friend of mine was induced because her baby wasnt growing in teh womb. The baby had neotransient diabetes. It's really rare and the child needed insulin till 6months when the diabetes went away. It was scary at the time but is a relatively easy to manage issue. I'm just trying to say that if there is a growth issue doesn't necessarily mean abnormalities.

Hope scan is reassuring. xx

sorry I meant to support grandj with the first paragraph in that I'm not convinced fundal height is that accurate. Wasn't clear in my post. x

Babylily - just a super quick post to say hope todays scan goes well and you come away reassured. Let us know how you get on.

Sorry no time for more personals at minute - hope all is well with everyone else. Be good to hear how Eavers and Stormbird are - babies here yet?

Lovely to hear some news from old timers - glad all the wee ones are doing well!