Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

[LittlePoot]

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

Hello everyone!

Well, it would appear that I have a very naughty baby...! The scan came back completely fine, heart looks good as does the brain, lips, kidneys, spine and stomach. However, it took 2 hours to do the scan because baby refused to stay still, went from lying across me, to breech, to head down, then stubbornly stayed back to back so the sonographer could not see the spine... we were sent off to have a sugary drink to get baby to turn. After a 40 min wait to go back in, we got the spine and kidneys checked.

Then we requested the sex. Baby complied with open legs, but draped the umbilical cord over the vital parts!!!! After much shaking and spinning out little scamp refused to budge and the sonographer admitted defeat. So we are still in the dark as to whether baby is in the blue team or the pink team!

BUT - I have a low lying placenta, so have been booked back in at 32 weeks to see if it has moved. Which means I have 4 more chances to find out the sex as we are having cardiac screens at 24, 28 and 34 weeks, and now the placenta check at 32 weeks. Think I may just set up camp at the ultrasound department.

Am hoping the placenta makes its way up because the sonographer has warned us that this could cause us ending up with a C-section, which I am very keen to avoid.

Thanks for all the well wishes. Will be seing the consultant tomorrow to discuss next scan and results of this scan. Hope everyone is well xx

Great news Natz, really delighted to hear all is well. As you say more opportunities ahead to find out the sex but fun guessing in the meantime.

I had a low lying placenta in my last pregnancy and they told me the in the majority of women they move up out of the way as everything expands. So hopefully that will be the case for you too.

Sure you must be breathing a sigh of relief tonight and fantastic that another major hurdle over. Have a lovely evening relaxing! Cherry x

Thanks Cherry, it is a huge relief and am happily scoffing my way through a batch of home made cheese and onion tarts and feeling very sleepy! The sonographer did say that it was likely the placenta would move but wanted to see us again to double check, so fingers crossed it does as hate the idea of a C-section!!!

DP was really disappointed that we couldn't find out, esp as he is desperate for a boy. I wasn't too upset that we couldn't see anything, had a feeling after the first 10 minutes that the sonographer would probably not be able to tell us.

I hope you are bearing up ok with the wait for the bloods xx

Great news Natz! On a lighter note, I have a feeling it's a cheeky little boy :) Fingers crossed for the placenta to move up now.

I've just come downstairs after spending an hour trying to settle a wriggly but tired little Coffee... he's probably making up for last night, when he went down in 10 minutes. DH is now upstairs, hopefully he'll have a bit more luck.

I'm trying to crack napping at the moment, without enough sleep he becomes a grizzly little monster :). I'm finding it very hard, some days he goes down in a couple of minutes and some others I spend ages settling him, only for him to go into a very light sleep and wake up 10 minutes later. No routine at the moment, and I wonder if I should do something different. I'm no fan of strict schedules, but it would be great for Victor to have more daytime sleep and for both of us to have a bit more structure to the day. Maybe the magic 12-week mark will make a difference, I can't believe we're almost there!

Hmm, DH is still in the bedroom, so our little one is putting up a fight...

Sorry again for lack of personals.

Yay congrats Natz! My bet is a boy too. This thread is very blue indeed. But it will be fun to find out...

Coffee, I am no good at sleep advice BUT I do believe that good daytime sleep is vital in a young baby and found that the more mine napped during the day, the better the nights were (of course I came from a position where they barely slept, it might be different if you have a very sleepy child, but you don't). I actually used the pram and just rocked them to sleep in the house or if that failed walked around outside and brought baby back in once asleep. That meant that if I wanted a day shopping/go out for lunch, etc, the baby would be used to the pram as a sleep-space. Oh and it was easier to get them to sleep in the pram. Key is to dump pram in quiet space once babe is asleep...

Feeling odd here, as one of my best friends just had a baby, low risk pregnancy, second child, and baby was oxygen-deprived during a too-fast labour and has had brain bleeds and possible hydrocephalus, so is facing an MRI scan tomorrow, and possible, indeed probable, operation in due course. So horrible. And reminded me again how lucky we are to live somewhere where they can deal with these things, as well as how fragile the whole birthing process is, even for low risk women.

Anyone heard from Drama recently? She didn't appear during threadgate, when we saw many oldies....

so much to catch up on...lovely to see so much positive news from Natz, grandj, manitz and cherry (just disappointed for you that you hospital has been so useless when i know how much a difference good supportive professionals can be)
Helenlouisey, congratulations. I had exactly the same anxieties in my first trimester (we have had one T18 and one T21 pregnancy, both initially identified at nuchal/bloods then confirmed by CVS). This time (I'm 23 weeks) we were given such low risk by the nuchal/bloods, and also as no markers of Edwards were identified at the 12 weeks scan we were confident enough not to have CVS done. I know this leaves an element of the unknown, but we have also had a very positive anomaly scan at 20 weeks and the baby looks perfect.
sarahmia, congratulations on being 29 weeks (I'm envious). I am 23 weeks and also getting very stressed out if I haven't felt baby move frequently. I spent a good hour this morning very concerned, and was very nearly late getting DD to nursery...but then had a very distinct nudge from baby and everything is obviously fine. He just seems not to respond to prodding. Some days he is hyper active, some days very quiet, and I'm yet to identify the triggers.
Ultimately I don't think the worry will go until we have delivered our babies...joining you in wishing the weeks away until that day.
Hello to Louzie and good luck with the ntnp!

Natz - hurray about the scan! Brilliant news, and as everyone has said, the placenta usually moves up by itself - mine did with DD. I am kind of jealous of all your upcoming scans, I don't have any as hospital doesn't see any need. And while there might be no medical need, there is a psychological one!

Coffee - the sleep thing is a tough one, especially in the day. I agree with Cant that babies sleep much better at night if they are not overtired so good to try and encourage daytime sleep. They all need it, even the less sleepy ones, so don't fall for people telling you "if they're tired, they'll sleep" - if only it was that easy. With a routine, if you can identify the kinds of time that he gets tired and take him for a walk then (or drive in car, whatever works) so that he falls asleep, you may find within a week or so that he is easier to settle in his cot during the day as he is used to sleeping then - worth a go, anyway.

Cant, so sorry for your friend's baby. Such a scary time, I hope they are coping as well as they can be.

Babylily - I know exactly what you mean about movements. I sometimes sit here thinking - is the movement fainter than before? What does that mean? Of course it means nothing...

Thanks again, still really happy and feeling so much lighter now we got a second all clear. And saw the consultant yesterday who said all is looking great, plus baby gave her a very annoyed couple of kicks whilst she was listening to the heart beat. We took the girls with us as couldn't get babysitter and am really glad we did because they both got to hear the heart and their faces were so cute!

Now booked in for the next 4 scans, although I have to change one as I completely forgot that I was going to see Take That!!! And appointment is only 2 hours before I have to be at Wembly, and after waiting 16 years to see them Im not going to miss them! lol!

Coffee, sorry to hear Victor is not a good napper, my nephew was exactly the same. I used to nap with my eldest DD which I found helped her sleep easier. DD2 luckily preferred to sleep alone and has always enjoyed a good nap at any time during the day. I agree that a routine makes life easier, it's just finding a routine that suits both you and Victor. I used to put the girls down for a nap between 9.30 and 10.30am, then again at about 1pm for an hour and again at about 4pm for about 45 mins. As Grandj says, a walk or a car ride usually works wonders. Spent many car journeys with DD1 screaming because she just refused to sleep, but would be sound-o within 10 mins of a country drive. DD1 slept throught the night from 6 weeks, and DD2 was about 4 or 5 months before we got a full night out of her. Every baby has their own preference.

Cant, Im so sorry to hear about your friends baby. How did the MRI go yesterday? I cant imagine what they are giong through right now xx

Babylily, I am exactly the same if baby is less active! I rang my DP at work last week all upset because baby hadn't moved that morning and I was having a very negative day, was on the brink of tears then got a massive thud in my bladder and promptly told DP 'oh it's ok, just kicked me, bye!'... he thinks Im extremely neurotic.

Grandj, I was really upset initially when I was told I would be having extra scans as just wanted a 'normal' pregnancy, but am now really pleased that they are keeping a closer eye on me. I think a lot of that has to do with the midwife who booked me in as she did a sort of emotional assessment of me on the day (which was 3 days after Cara's due date) so was in a weird place, and think she recommended extra care for my mental well being....!!! Am hoping we will be abe to find out the sex in 3 weeks, although I think the general opinion is that this one is a boy. m convinced it is due to my very little morning sickness which I suffered quite badly with with all my girls. But then I was also convinced that DD2 and Cara were boys, so Im not the best judge!

Cherry - hoping the results are through soon xx

Well, count down to next scan begins, roll on 2nd June! xx

hello all. Cant I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's baby - that's such upsetting news.

Natz I'm glad to hear you had a good scan and are feeling more positive now. I haven't ever found out the sex of mine till they were born as I love the guessing bit. I had my detailed scan today and I was tempted to ask but held off.

It was really good - no signs or markers and heart has 4 chambers yay. Thought I'd got through scot-free then the baby had a clenched hand and wouldn't unclench. consultant had to use another scan machine, a 4D one, immediately I thought this is it and was annoyed with myself for feeling so happy and then baby waved at us. What a relief.

He said more can be seen at the 20 week anomaly so i need to be careful not to relax too much. rewarded myself with a pedicure and manicure as ds is with the childminder for one last day. I now have turquoise (!) finger and toe nails and 38 years worth of dry skin removed - it feels great. As I wont even be able to cut my own toenails soon I'm gonna have a couple more this summer. I finished work on tuesday so I have the time but no money. It's always one or the other I suppose. cardiac scan is just after your next one natz, 8 June and anomaly scan on 13 june. Back to ironing now I'm a lady of leisure. tara.

Hi Manitz, glad the scan went well - if not a bit tense! How does a 4D one work? Did they print you off a picture? Am getting really into scans now, lol!

We didn't find out with the girls as loved the not knowing, but for some reason I am desperate to know this time. Typical that they couldn't tell us. Roll on the 8th & 13th June for you. Where are you having them done? I wasn't overly impressed with the scanning equipment at my hospital and had hoped they would send me back to Kings for the cardiac scans, but they are all going to be done at my hospital. Also my first experience of a male sonographer, and wasn't exactly blown away by him either, he was trying to hide how stressed out he was getting with baby because he/she wouldn't move to where he wanted. I guess me laughing so much didn't help. But once he told us the heart was fine and the brain was fine, I felt like a giddy teenager and found everything very amusing!

Hello to everyone else xx

hi natz, it was just same screen but different handset. it looked like a very skinny baby but when the baby moved it was still a bit blurry so didn't get a good look at sex, think he may have also been focusing on the hand. the head and profile was particularly clear. I don't really understand why its 4D rather than 3D, maybe the extra dimension is that you can see inside the baby??

I'm having all scans done at my local hospital which doesn't have a great rep - was in special measures for some time - but I have always found it really good. I moved here after having the girls so I've had two terminations and ds at this hospital and the care has been better than at my previous hospital. I am aware of its limits though. The cardiac specialist comes to the hospital once a month and he tested the girls and ds's heart when he was in utero but I'm feeling much more relaxed so i'm not worried about it. I hope i'm not relaxing too early. x

hi ladies,
just wondering if any of you who have had your babies can relate to this.
I would really like a planned induction. I dont want to go over my due date as I have found this pregnancy so incredibly hard and sleep so badly with nightmares that i truly believe I will have better sleep when the baby comes!
I also have this feeling of not wanting anything panicked... so i dont want that feeling of, oh my g-d ive gone into labour.. do i go in??? ahh, its the middle of the night, where do i send DD? etc etc. I just want everything to be as calm as possible. I had an iduction with my DD cos my waters had been broken for so long and nothing was happening.
anyway, what are your opinions???, I want to ask my consultant when i go in in a few weeks for a scan. bottom line. I want to finally hold my baby and see its healthy.

Very quick post just to say great news Manitz that the detailed scan all looked good. Marching on towards the cardiac and anomoly scan and hopefully once those hurdles are cleared you can relax a bit more into the pregnancy. My anomoly scan is on 17th June so not far behind you. Results of bloods tomorrow so feeling quite low and nervous today.

Sarahmia - no idea whether they would induce you without any medical need to. My understanding of induction is that it can increase chances of further medical interventions and ending up with a C Section so I'm not sure if they'd want to go down that road unless they thought it medically wise. But I honestly dont know, I suppose people have elective sections so why not inductions. Sorry, no help at all! I was induced with DD as I had obstetric cholestasis, it went well - no further interventions, but I think I'd rather have things happen naturally if possible. But totally understand you just want to have your baby in your arms and know everything is ok.

Grandj, Natz, Babylily - hope you're all well, more relaxed after good news scans and Babylily after your hols up north. Was it midgey hell?

Will pop on tomorrow with blood results hopefully. Scared witless.

Love to everyone else.

Hi all, just phoned to get my results for risk of T21 and they are 1 in 4015! I was so prepared to hear something worrying, I almost can't believe it. I am still worried about other chromosomal problems as I know this is just for T21 (and it was something rare that affected our baby girl last time). Plus I am slightly concerned at the accuracy, given I was 14+1 when they did it but certainly I feel like things are looking positive and ultimately its a hurdle over which is a big relief.

I feel that we can now look forward to going on holiday and just face the next stage when I get back which will be the detailed scan on 17th June.

Hope everyone else is well xx

Very quick post as no time, just a big hooray to Cherry on the blood results! So pleased for you xxxx

Enjoy your holiday and roll on the 17th June.

All good here, baby very active and giving some lovely big kicks. Hello to everyone else, hope all is good xx

Hi all, I'd say just a quick one, but then I end up being anything but, so I'll just see how I go....

Cherry, what great results. Enjoy your holiday

Great scans Natz and Manitz . And Manitz, I forgot to even mention your good combined results. Love all this good news around lately.

Sarahmia, I feel your pain! I always went 2 weeks over with my girls, and after after losing dd1, multiple miscarriages and the termination, I felt my pregnancy with Bella was doomed somehow. I wasn't happy if she moved too little, or even if she moved too much I couldn't wait until the day she was safely in my arms, and the thought of going two weeks over again was just too much. My last labor before Bella almost ended up in an ECS which was very scary too, so with Bella I actually requested (begged for) an elective CSection. Not that I'm recommending this at all and I realise you're not suggesting this either, though just to give you some idea as to how I understand where you're coming from.
I got my C-section, but when Bella became unwell following birth (bilateral pneumothoraces), I read that it was more common with elective c-sections. She also has dairy allergy which is apparently also more common following an ECS. So of course, I've blamed myself for both a bit, as I've felt I had let my fear take over to the point where I may have contributed to Bella suffering. Anyway, in retrospect, I wish I had have trusted my body and life a little bit more, and realise I wasn't jinxed. I imagine you might be feeling a bit the same (as in jinxed)? It's good that you are able to talk about it though (I hope I haven't made you feel worse!)

Cant, how worrying for your friend. Any news? I did see your thread last week when I was procrastinating surfing MN, but thought I would catch up with you here. Did you find a way to help her in a practical sense? I know she'd appreciate just knowing you were there for her, but I also understand you wanting to do something. It's hard being away from people in times like these, and I can understand you'd feel a bit shaken. I wish your friend and her family all the best for a positive outcome xx (on a lighter note, as for the thread chronicler [?sp], ha! If you only knew how forgetful I actually am. Vague details I'm fine with, anything beyond, and I'm anything but)

Coffee, the advice I found helpful was to take note of your baby's tired signs and grab that window of opportunity to put them down for a nap. My older DD's made up a list of all Bella's tired signs (rubbing eyes, pulling at ears/hair, yawning etc) and if any of us noticed these, she was put down almost immediately. I found she slept much better when we did this. Of course, you may already be doing this. Good luck either way xx

Did mean to say hello to others but I neeeeed sleep. Love to everyone xx

mishtabel, you have EXACTLY explained how i feel... and i have read up on the risks of a planned induction and the risks of lack if immunity etc which does worry me and i KNOW that if she is sick at all, i will totally blame myself for giving in to my anxiety and allowing myself to do something not in her best interest, however irrational that is.. I really feel like you get me... first person i think cos most ppl are split between telling me to basically grow up and get on with or telling me i definitely should regardless of what i think because the stress im feeling isnt good for baby. I also know what you mean about the kicking not enough or even too much.. i have convinced myself i have caught toxoplasmosis from the school hamster we had here for the weekend, cos i havent been well since sunday...and the baby has been going crazy today and I have been so worried maybe its not well...I know it makes no sense but i cant help it. :)

Hi all, great news Cherry on the nuchal results! And Manitz on the heart scan. Each scan is another step...

Sarahmia, I understand your wish for induction too. With Babycant I had a planned section, but this was partly because I had had an emergency section with DD1, and was recommended, anyway it was also partly because I was scared of waiting to go into labour so I do get what you are saying about early induction. Also understand Mishtabel's post about taking responsibility for that decision, too. If it helps, a friend of mine was induced early for both her daughters because she had lost a baby at 30 weeks previously and the hospital felt it was better for her peace of mind to be induced at 37 weeks. But inducing at 37 weeks has risks for the baby too -what about a compromise eg induction at 39/40 weeks, when you could be pretty sure the baby would be fully developed and more ready to be born (I think Lins was induced around that time)? Then if spontaneous labour kicked in beforehand you would have to deal with it, but it's the waiting that I would have found hard, so earlier labour would be less traumatic, IYSWIM.

Hi everyone else. My friend's baby is doing well, thanks for asking - has hydrocephalus for sure, but they are monitoring for now to see if baby needs an operation or not. Baby is gorgeous desite that and MRI scan showed no brain damage (phew). Have been to visit for cuddles...

Winter has returned here today! Hope you're all okay.

Oh, that's great to hear Cant. Glad you got to visit and have a cuddle. Was thinking about you today as I was looking for the post where Shangrila and I confessed to how terrified we'd been when pregnant (to link for you Sarahmia in case you need extra reassurance that you're not mad). You had actually brought it up first, being a couple of weeks away from your due date. I posted to reassure you that I had felt the same, then Shangrila admitted she had also been terrified - though neither of us had mentioned it while pregnant, which was a shame, as it would have been a relief to know someone felt the same.

Sarahmia, here is the link, just in case you need extra reassurance that you're certainly not the only one feeling as you do. Although, that's not to say that you will definitely feel this anxious all the way to the birth. Some here seemed to be rather calm toward the end - Numpty and Catlady come to mind (though do correct me if I'm wrong ladies), which I quite admired and envied just a weeee bit. Maybe they might have some advice for you?

Have a lovely day all xx

Woohoo, my first proper link works! The related convo starts with Cant, 3 posts down :)

Quick post to say glad to hear the news of your friends baby and hope that the hydrocephalus isnt too severe and is managed well without needing a shunt. I know the Spina Bifida Assc have lots of info and support on hydrocephalus so may be worth her contacting them if she hasnt done already.

I woke up this morning worrying again about things but had a chat with OH who did very well at putting my mind at rest, well as at rest as it can be. We still havent told family. When did everyone else tell? We thought we should wait until after the anomoly scan seeing as we'll be away on holiday for two weeks anyway but it's getting harder to hide. I caught SIL staring at my stomach the other day and I turned down alcohol at DD family birthday lunch last Saturday so I'm sure they all strongly suspect anway. I feel scared to tell everyone, as though keeping it private is a bit of denial and so helps me cope. If that makes sense!

Hope all pregnant ladies are well despite the worries and all new mums are getting some sleep.

flying visit to say great news Cherrybug on the full nuchal result. We told everyone once we had our result, then felt able to vent stress in the build up to the anomaly scan...it depends on how much you'll show by then too I guess.

Cant- positive news on your friends baby's MRI, but what a nightmare for them, hope their hospital are being kind.

I may be wrong but it looked like sleet outside my house just before. Having to squeeze bump back into winter clothes! I am now 24 weeks which feels like a major milestone has been reached.
x

Hello ladies, great to hear all scans and test are going well. You know, it occurred to me whilst reading the news of everyone's results, that apart from sad news of some of us having miscarriages, in approximately 1500 messages of these last two threads I don't actually think anyone has had to have another termination. That's got to be encouraging hasn't it? By the time the new thread starts so many more babies will have been born. I definitely think that whoever starts the new one should start it with a "Hope List" of all the thread babies!

Not much going on here. Day 1 of 2ww, day 2 of steroids.

Excellent idea Kittens (the Hope List). I do hope the steroids don't knock you around so much this time. Everything crossed for you xx

Cherry, I told people quite early, though I know a few here left it until much later. I can't remember who exactly, though I do remember them describing the same feelings you are having. It's lovely that you are going to get to enjoy your longed-for holiday - I remember you being quite concerned about the timing etc at one stage. Enjoy :)

Hope the weather's improved over there. It's starting to get a bit crisp in the mornings/evenings here, which I quite like. Our house overlooks a valley with a river in the distance, and this morning there was a fog in the valley, so thick it honestly looked like a lake - lovely. I sent a pic to DH, saying "OMG, it poured last night and the river broke it's banks!" Don't know if he believed me or not, cause within a couple of minutes I sent another text to tell him that I was only joking, just in case he panicked and came home. He's actually due home at midnight after another fortnight away, so I'm trying to stay awake, hence my posting so late

Enjoy your weekend everyone xxx

Hello everyone, I'm tentatively posting to introduce myself because although I have been dipping in and out of reading your thread, I've just read kittens' post and it's given me a bit of needed positivity. I got my BFP on Monday and have just spoken to my hospital today to get myself on their books super early and it is feeling a bit more 'real' today.

For those who don't know me, I terminated my pregnancy at the end of Jan as my baby was diagnosed with Edward's at 26 weeks. This was in spite of very very low odds at NT & bloods (1:190000) and normal early scans (8,12, 16 & 20 weeks)

I just wondered if anyone had any advice that they wish they had known/ done at this very early stage (as I say, I only found out I was pregnant at the start of the week!) I know that there is a long road ahead of me, (which hopefully will be very long and very uneventful!)

Thank you xx