Support thread for women who are pregnant or TTC after a termination for abnormalities 3

[LittlePoot]

So, New Year, New Thread. And the next set of New Babies are arriving! I hope they prove that there can be light at the end of the very dark tunnel we have all had to come through and I hope there are many more babies to come. In the meantime, we're here, as ever, with supportive words, virtual hands to hold and multiple fingers to cross to help everyone through these nerve wracking waits and scans. A more lovely group of ladies you could not wish to find. xxx

Hello. Just got back this evening so not really had a chance to do more than skim read. I just opened what I thought was my steroids prescription but it turns out it's a request for my GP to prescribe them so it looks like by the time I get my hands on them I will have missed my ovulation "window" this month. If it happens later than I thought I will be away from home for a couple of nights too so it's likely I'll have to wait another month before TTC now. Ho hum...

I noticed, and read, that unfortunate thread when it came up in Chat the other day and that Mishtabel had been the first "ambassador" to put our experiences across and try to get those who were being judgmental to be less dismissive and presumtuous. I guess it is helpful for others who've not been in our position to read different perspectives even though, as we all know nobody can judge until they are put in that position themselves. I agree that putting it in the AT/C threads is rather insensitive though, with this being a place for people who are going through turmoil to come and feel support and empathy. I didn't know that it was over here though as I tend to just bookmark this thread and don't go on the general AT/C board very much. The one thing that was mentioned early on, which spooked me rather, was the person who had good nuchal scan/blood results odds back and hadn't had a CVS and then had a baby with DS. That's why I am torn having lost 2 DS babies and 4 miscarriages I just don't really know what to do for the best next time. I have to say though, out of all the early posters, I really appreciated her input. It was really brave and honest and hopefully made the "judgey" types think again. How nice it must be for them to have life so neatly in black and white like that! I'll bet most of them are the same people who go to their 12 weeks scan looking forward to leaving the hospital beaming at a scan photo and get to do just that.

Sorry, I've been rubbish at personals and keeping up. There seems to be a lot happening here, and on the miscarriage testing thread that I'm on. It's quite a lot to read and remember once I've read it all!

Hi Kittens, hope you enjoyed your holiday. You were up late. What a pain if it turns out you have to wait another month! Are you as patient a person as you sound?

As for 'that thread' I actually read back through it today (obviously way too much time on my hands), as when I read it the other night, I think I focused more on the ignorant/judgey comments TBH. I remember the lady you were talking about though. Reading the thread again, I realise there was quite a lot of support and empathy there, along with some touching stories, and I wish I had have acknowledged them more. Still the totally wrong place for the thread of course.

Regarding your next pregnancy, which is hopefully just around the corner, I think all you can do is play it by ear and see how you feel at the time. Helpful aren't I? Like you didn't know that already! Sorry. I do declare this, however, the Year of the Kitten xx

Bumping back up - am manually removing that thread xx

Manitz, loads of good luck for Monday, I have everything crossed for you that it will be fine. You sort of made me laugh with your DS maybe sharing a room with a baby you are trying to pretend doesn't exist. We are exactly the same, I keep nearly buying cushions for the spare room and then remembering it might not be spare for much longer - and yesterday I went shopping and tried to squeeze myself into some non-maternity clothes in my usual size. Slight case of denial going on here!

Kittens, what an annoying delay with the steroids. Hang in there.

Natz - love the manual bumping thing, what a great idea - your name is all the way down the whole board which looks quite funny!

Hello ladies xx Question coming up ....

I dont usualy post here, I 'live' on the sister thread at the mo. as i had a termination less than a week ago.

I've come here to you because i was hoping you ladies could help me with a problem, but didnt want to start a new thread for this because this is tests/choices forum technicly, not TTC, and i didnt want to cause a problem!

(God help us we dont need another thread row! Once again natz, well done xxx)

ANYWAY ........ i'm desperate to be doing something towards ttc, and so have bought a 2 decimal place thermometer for body temp. testing. Which i began thismorning ready for starting to try again. All well and good. However - ALL the charts i have found on the net are for recording temps of only 1 decimal place, even the one that has come free with my therm.

This means i've got a super 2 place therm. and a chart with nowhere to put my extra number!!!! What do you do? Has anyone found a chart with the right boxes? Or am i being thick??

Please help??

Hello misty, you are very welcome to join us over here. Totally understand your need to TTC. It's instinctual and the drive can be even more so after losing a little one, I know I felt that way.

Not sure I can help with the thermometer issue as I've never done charting/temping but I'd be tempted to round it up/down to one decimal place to fit with the charts. Others may know better though!

Natz - good work on bumping the threads

Manitz - will be thinking of you tomorrow and hoping it all goes well xx

Kittens - how annoying re the steroids, argh, what a pain to miss a month!

Cant - Happy Belated Birthday to babycant, a whole year old! I can remember her arrival distinctly as it was only a couple of months after we had lost our little one and her safe arrival gave me so much hope.

Better dash as Lawrence has just woken up from his nap and is obviously very hungry!... lots of love to everyone on this sunny afternoon xx

Hello,

Just a very quick post to with Manitz well for tomorrows scan. Hope you come out of there smiling and reassured. Will keep everything crossed for you!

Hi to everyone else x

wish not with! typing too fast!

Quick one from me as well.Manitz, good luck tomorrow. Misty, feel free to join us if you want to. I can't answer your question I'm afraid, but I completely understand the urge to ttc, getting pregnant again was all I could think about after losing my little girl.

Kittens, welcome back, as usual I'm keeping everything crossed for you.

Well done Natz :)

hi there thanks everyone for your thoughts. Kitten i feel similarly, nuchal test is just an indicator. I'm really thinking I'll have it then cvs depending on my nuchal odds and a chat with consultant. i think there were all angles on the thread and some were very supportive. I just didn't appreciate the posts guessing that people who had terminations might not be able to cope with other sorts of crises happening as though we are different to other people and otherwise live in some sort of bubble. Anyway I'd better go now.x

Thank you for my welcome ladies, and your help

I'v decided the chart i'm looking for doesnt exist so i'll just get on with what i've got! Or make one

I'll probably lurk on the other thread for now - very early days - but its so lovely to know theres so much support where i am AND here when i feel i qualify/am ready to join you

Good luck ladies xxxxxxx

Grandj - Congrats on having a boy! Sounds quite a stressful scan but glad the hole in the heart sounds like a minor issue.

NatzCNL- Personally I am the type of person who clings onto a timetable of numerous scans, but I can understand that you want to feel that you are having a 'Normal' pregnancy. I wouldn't worry about your (presumably) community midwife said about this, mine had no idea of about anything other than a low risk pregnancy.

I had another NHS scan (22 weeks) last week. This was to follow up on the slightly high amniotic fluid that was picked up on the 20 week scan.
The fluid was still slightly high but not any cause for concern the doctor said.
I told her that I had been for a 2nd anomoly scan at FMC and they had picked up choroid plexus cysts on the brain, she said that she had noticed them at 20 weeks but it was NHS policy not to mention them to the parents as telling them only causes unnecessary worry. They don't do any follow-up scans for them. Not sure how I feel about this, reassured I guess.

There was another issue from the 20 week scan which seems be ok now, at 20 weeks the femur bones were on the 3rd centile, but they do seem be growing ok and are now on the 25th centile, under average but well within normal range.

The doctor gave me the choice of whether I wanted to see her for any further scans to check on the fluid, she said she would be happy to discharge me back to midwife care but would see me again if I wanted to. I said I would as I feel reassured by constant scans!

I also have a follow up scan at the FMC on Wednesday, seeing Prof Nicolides or someone senior there. They are seeing me again due to the highish nuchal measurement of 2.7 and the cysts.

I am slightly confused by the greater caution shown by the FMC compared to NHS but am not worrying too much.

Forgot to mention I am having a boy! My 3rd DS.

I won't bore you with the comments I've had from some of the people upon telling them this, some people think it's a big disaster to have a 3rd boy. I really want to scream in their stupid smug ignorant faces tell them about all the stress and heartbreak we've had. Rant over!

Eavers, congratulatins on the 3rd boy! I have 2 girls and would not be at all upset if this one is also a girl, although I know DP would be delighted if it was a boy. Im glad to hear the scan was reassuring and that they will continue to offer you scans for your peace of mind. I have found it hard to accept that so far everything is ok, even though that is all I want to hear. Same as I found it so hard to believe last time that everything was so bad.

Welcome back Kittens, how frustrating having to wait even longer for the steriods... Fingers crossed this will be the start of something good xx

Manitz, best of luck for tomorrow! Will be thinking of you and logging on at work to check in on you xxx

Misty, warm welcome to this thread xx

Hi to everyone else, sorry to post and run, but am beyond tired and my bed is calling

Manitz, hope all goes well today.

I am 20 weeks today and have the anomaly scan on Wednesday at 8.30 am (I actually rang them today to see if there were any cancellations to see if I could get in today or tomorrow but no luck).
Really really wishing I'd opted for CVS or amnio as I am in complete terror about what they might find in the scan. I guess this is to be expected, but everyone keeps saying how bloody small i am and despite baby being really active and all looking fine in the brain and stomach at 12 weeks I am convincing myself that this means it will be another baby with edwards. Our last 2 boys had trisomies so part of me feels that being that this baby is also a boy a major problem is inevitable. I'm ok with it if he has Downs, just desperate not to have to give another pregnancy up after it taking so long to get here.
I am still considering asking for them not to look for anomalies at the scan...completely irrational behaviour.
Not slept much lately, and just wish it was this time on Wednesday.
Does everyone feel like this at 20 weeks? It's not even as though I've had a bad anomaly scan before as both our boys were identified at nuchal stage (another good sign for this scan the reaonable and rational side of my brain should be telling me).
sorry to go on, just can't go through this with people in RL who always say everything will be fine (and seem to have forgotten that TWICE it actually wasn't).

I may be late here, but wanted to wish Manitz luck for today. Also, best of luck to you Babylily. Having been on this thread a long time now I can definitely tell you that it's very common to be mega stressed leading up to the anomaly scan! You're not alone there. I know how infuriating it is too, when everyone in RL keeps saying all will be fine or "I've got a good feeling about it this time". They mean well but I do just wish they wouldn't say these things.

Thanks for the welcome back Natz. I've been back, but hardly home since Friday night and am now off again for a couple of days to do a shoot with a performing dog ! and then probably away again over Easter so I'm afraid I'm still having trouble keeping up with the thread and personal messages etc. So sorry. Don't want to be all me, me, me!

Well, I managed to get my prescription for the steriods this morning but whether I am in the same county as my OH when I ovulate remains to be seen. Also, I'm confused because initially the consultant said he wanted me to have taken the various recommended supplements for 6 weeks before pregnancy and then the information he sent through with the prescription info said 8 weeks so I also have to call up and find out if that means it's too early to try this month or not. I don't know about patience Mishtabel, it's more a case of trying to get everything in place to give myself the best chance. Although to be honest, for the first 3 months after my last miscarriage I really wasn't ready to try again anyway.

thanks for good luck wishes. just about to leave. kitten, will you be making up a dog then?!

Haha, no. There will be people in the ad who will be made up. I don't think the dog will need make up. Although I have, in the not so distant past, made a false moustache for a (taxidermied) hedgehog.

Kittens, you have a very interesting job!

Manitz - thinking of you, guessing you're either in or out by now. Hoping all is good.

Babylily - all scans are frightening, as it's easy to think that 'this is the time something will show up'. I really can't remember now, but does mw measure baby at this stage, or is it later in pregnancy? I think you can be neat in figure and still have a baby that is growing fine, I had that with DS until nearer the end of the pregnancy. Will be thinking of you in the next couple of days.

Sorry not to write more/personals, but am back at work and must finish lunch now! xx

hello. I'm back. the nuchal measurement was 1.77 and the nasal bone was visible. there was one baby which is a relief for me and also it was really moving around which is apparently a good sign. Im still waiting for the bloods which will apparently take 10 days if good and 4-5 if not.

Generally I'm cautiously pleased. I feel excited enough to buy some maternity jeans and shorts for the summer. Im seeing consultant on thurs and I've decided to say Im extremely anxious and ask for a detailed scan to put my mind at rest - he offered me one as well as cvs with my last baby but I went straight ahead with cvs as the nuchal was so large. I'm also going to ask for a cardiac scan as that's also at the back of my mind. My main worry was that the nuchal would be large, a cvs might show nothing and it might be a heart problem which would only show much later in pg. So far signs are ok.

Memememe. Sorry about that. Kitten you do indeed have a very interesting job, shame it's so interesting it's getting in the way of dtd! hopefully you can crack on soon. x

Brilliant news manitz, good luck with the bloods and getting that extra scan xxx

Wonderful manitz, so glad you had a good scan! xx

Quick post as at work, just wanted to say hooray to Manitz, very goot NT result. I hope the 10 day wait goes quickly for you! xxx

Great news Manitz! So far so good and hope you get the extra scan arranged easily. Sure they'll be happy to reassure you as much as possible.

Babylily, everything crossed for you for Wednesdays scan and really hope you come of there smiling. I'm not surprised you're so anxious but hopefully after wednesday you can start to relax a bit.

Eavers, glad all previous worries are ok
now and hope extra scans are completely reassuring. You've had too much extra anxiety lately, time for a nice boring 3rd trimester.

Kittens, a fake moustache for a hedgehog?! Brilliant! Was he in disguise

Hi to everyone else xx

Great news Manitz. Really really pleased for you and hope that you get your detailed scan too (wish I'd thought of asking for that!). Happy maternity clothes shopping!

Thanks for everyone's positive wishes for wednesday. I'm feeling a bit more rational now - I wrote myself a list of the positive things that we know about baby so far, the things we've seen on the scans, and in BIG CAPITALS the fact that both our boys had large nuchals and bad blood results wheras our two healthy fabulous daughters had the same nuchal and no risk blood results as the baby we're having now. Going to keep reading this every time I feel wobbly (about every 10 minutes until Wednesday). Have also sent Dh to buy lots of chocolate for a psychological boost, and have planned to set myself up on sofa with lots of DVDs to see me through the next couple of nights of insomnia.

Have even managed to giggle at the image of the dead hedgehog in a fake moustache...