To not want to babysit friend's kid

If you don't actually cancel (you should) when they rock up afterwards you need to utter the words "never again"

They've got time to source paid for childcare, so let them do that; this is not your problem to resolve.

Worst case scenario, one of the couple stays home to look after their own child.

It always astounds me (as a solo parent) when a married couple think they have no childcare options; they have each other!

Yes, it would be nice for them to go out as a couple, but it sounds like they've already done that a fair bit this summer. Some times you just have to suck it up and parent your own child, yes it's disappointing, but it isn't anybody else's problem/duty to do that for you (especially for free!)

As standard my response to everything is "I'm not sure i think I have plans let me double check and confirm"

You agreed to do it - so do it.after that use my phrase (you are welcome) and decline all future requests.

YABU.

Same here - I hate being put on the spot. Even if it is something I want to do

Compromise time. Point out to your friend that 8-9 hours is a bloody long time and ask if there is a budget to take the kid out to an activity. Make sure it's something you will enjoy too! Or go to IKEA for a while and dump them in the ball park.

They sound like users. Why can't they source an actual babysitter if they need one so often ?!

As you've already made up your mind to babysit this time (9 hours is a BIG ask!), depending on the age of the child, I'd be asking for funds to take the child to the cinema/petting zoo/soft play/food out etc. At least you won't have the child for 9 hours wrecking your home!

Some people on here can be weird about other people's kids though, and about putting themselves out in general.

I might be a bit old fashioned….but if they won’t/can’t pay for a babysitter surely one of them should stay at home?
You say they have used friends eaten over the summer… sounds like they are hardly missing out on a social life…
Asking someone to have their child for 9 hours so they can both go to this event is cheeky.

Id have say no, as id hate of them to think i would be up for more babysitting in the future...

No clearly OPs friend didn’t do the same for her when the kids were little. The friend has already been out several times this summer.

I'd suck it up this once and try not to brood about it too much in advance. If they ask again, just say "No, last time was a one off".

Plan something nice for the 2nd weekend day and ask them to leave some nice easy food to prepare in for you (be specific about what you want - it's the least they can do).

That just seems such a strange decision; it’s a long stretch for the the child too and they will obviously be easier to entertain in their own house with their own home comforts and toys and screens etc. It will mean much less stress for you in terms of keeping the child entertained, otherwise what on Earth are you going to do with the child for nine hours in your house which presumably won’t have lots of toys/ books/ games aimed at this age? If the child is bored then they’re more likely to start acting up and doing things like jumping on furniture, breaking things etc. In their own house they will be clear on what the boundaries are. I don’t see how you will be more comfortable looking after a difficult child in your home where you will be overly worried about them breaking things, what home comforts are you really going to need? Usually when babysitting the unspoken rule is you make yourself comfortable in the other persons house and if there’s anything you really can’t go without (eg: specific brand of tea bags, slippers etc) just bring it with you.

You will be making the day far more difficult by having the child in your house and it’s more likely to go wrong and feel stressful. Most of your worries around the child behaviour and damage to property etc would be instantly removed by just not doing it in your home.

I'd totally lie and say your DH has booked you a spa day as a surprise as he knew you were going to be on your own.

They have plenty of time to find a paid sitter and shouldn't be booking tickets for things before they've sorted childcare anyway. Nor should they be asking their friends to have their kid for 9 hours!! WTF?!!

After a couple of similar situations I learned to be a lot more circumspect when people asked when I was going back to work after a holiday or what I was doing on a certain date. I learned to be vague and buy some time by saying I'd check and let them know - but only after being railroaded like you have here into doing a couple of really onerous babysitting gigs.

One of these was for a family member who had already declined to look after my kids whilst I did a course for a couple of days but then - well I can't think of a better way to put it except set me up. Checked when I was going back to work, checked with OH if he knew I was doing anything (he replied in all innocence, thought they were just showing a polite interest). I ended up looking after their 2 children as well as my 2 for 3 days - whilst they went on a jolly. One of their children was particularly difficult. On the second day they compounded this by getting an elderly relative to come and "help" who was actually more trouble than they were worth.

They also assumed I would drive them through the city centre to the station so they could catch their train before commencing my 3-day babysitting marathon. However by this time I was getting wise to their ways and declined, suggesting they got a taxi and offering to ring one for them. We are now NC.

I think you are right that you will probably have to do this one, but like me you will learn not to let them take you by surprise again. I learned various phrases like, not sure I'll have to check, oh yes OH doesn't know yet but I've arranged to see x that day and she can't manage any other time.

I wouldn’t do it. Not to late to say no, you didn’t agree fully.

They will ask again and again.

Might have to suck it up this time but say 9 hours is too long (it is far too long) and you expect them back at x time, no piss up after

Part of being a decent human is sometimes doing things for other people to make life nicer for them. What a selfish world to only do thing you want to do unless there is monetary gain.

I think some have been a bit harsh to you OP.

But then I often say a tentative yes to something I don't want to do, then either have to do it or try to come up with an excuse; if I'd said no in the first place, it all would have been so much easier! I am working on it though...

If it was me, I would say no right now (give an excuse if you like). I'm sure you'd be happy to help a friend in other ways, just not this way. And that's okay. I wouldn't want to do it either.
I generally don't like other people's kids.

I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't care if I had already said I would do it. I guarantee it will be longer than 9 hours too. I would pull a muscle, contract ebola, book myself in with another friend and say you forgot, run away with the circus.....Feck that shit. Ignore the ones calling you selfish, they aee the type to lie down on the the ground and let people walk on them and apologise when people say they are not flat enough.

She can either book and pay for a sitter and let the sitter search wardrobes for shit or one of them stays home.

Do NOT give in and do it.