To not want to babysit friend's kid

I’d send the “just checked my calendar I’m a numpty” message above. They might be a bit pissed off with you but oh well, at least they’re unlikely to ask you again.

Just get your DH to book something then say to friend "so sorry I should have checked with DH but he has booked tickets for something that night so I'm not actually free after all".

No one asks friends for babysitting for a night out, they are CFs asking. It's fine for friends to babysit if they offer only.

That's reason enough to say "Actually, the last time I looked after Kevin, he took a dump in a wardrobe that wasn't discovered for some considerable time so I'd rather not leave myself open to a repeat. You've still got oodles of time to find a replacement to look after him."

If you've only said you 'might be able to' then I'd message saying 'I know I said I might be able to babysit on .... well I'm afraid I won't be able to as I'm seeing my children/doing something else. Hope you find someone and have fun at the event'

Look after the child in their house snd let them run riot whilst you drink tea and eat chocolate.
You'll never be asked again.

Being nasty about a child who possibly has some issues (hiding faeces is a worrying behaviour, not a bratty one) to justify not wanting to look after them (which is perfectly valid) is deeply unpleasant. To everyone else on this thread calling the child a “brat” and a “shitbag” please remember this is a child the OP wants to get out of looking after. You clearly don’t like this friend or their child and they best thing to do is say, sorry, I dislike your child, so I’m probably not the best person to be in sole charge of them for a day.

😒 just speak to them now and say you can’t Sorry as you’re not available all day

Give over.
I've looked after dc for family when I've secretly disliked them.
They're lovely adults now and have no idea that I thought they were brats 15 years ago.

The child hid a shit in a wardrobe!!! In that case it's a definite hard no. This will ruin your week running up to the day and the day itself as you are already resenting it. Send a message now saying you can't babysit and enjoy the time with your children, put them first, life is too short.

I would text and say:

“Hi, I have plans the evening of XXX so can babysit child from X time to X time so one of you will need to be available to come and collect child at X o clock. If this doesn’t work for you guys, I understand if you may need to find someone else who can cover the whole time period. Let me know xx”

Fingers crossed they find someone else.

Your plans can be to sit on your arse and watch Netflix but you don’t need to tell them that.

Then if they don’t find an alternative, I’d suggest getting out the house for the period of time you will have him so that you can minimise that damage to your home. Field and a ball with a picnic, wear them out lol.

Just say no . An important message from way back in the 80s! Remember “just say no !”

Your first post only mentioned the fact that you hadn’t had childcare…so it was a reasonable assumption that this was your prime objection.

The drip feed of the shitting in the wardrobe came later.

As someone else has pointed out, you said in your OP that your friend doesn’t have childcare. You later say she has loads of childcare. Both statements can’t be true.

Have the balls to just say you don’t want to do it. Nobody helped you, so you’ll not help anyone else. At least own it?

I think you have sort of committed now so would need to do something on this occasion, but I would suggest the following:

1. Do it at their house (especially given the wardrobe shitting update ).
2. Say that having reflected on it, you don't think you are able to manage the full 9 hours, and you are happy to do half if they could get someone to do the other half.
3. After it, make clear that your babysitting days are over. Use whatever excuse you need, but something along the lines of you just not being up for it any more.
4. I think 9 hours is taking the piss. It's not fair on anyone, not least the child.

I’d be tempted not to, you’ll get asked again and an expectation will be created. Just say you’ve got a (create believable) appt/engagement you’ve just been reminded about and apologise for inconvenience. Done!!

Honestly I'd do it now rather than put it off, you can stop worrying and it gives them longer to sort an alternative.

Oh god that's my worst nightmare.

I'd feel the same as you and as soon as I received the message I'd probably look for an event that day and book tickets just so I don't have to lie!

I used to get the same situation with other people's dogs. Yes I like dogs and enjoyed having my own who I sadly lost a few years ago. Within weeks I had friends offering to lend me their dog to save them kennel fees when they were going away when actually it was quite liberating being able to go out for the day without worrying about leaving the dog.

Just to add, I think it’s blimmin cheeky to ask someone to babysit for that long, for anything other than a special occasion, like a wedding.

No!! Grow a pair op and deal with it. Don’t wait til it’s too late for them to sort out alternative care.

I wouldn't do this purely because they won't organise someone to relieve the OP at the time mentioned, why would they when the OP could continue to look after their child?

OP - just reply that you've checked and actually you're not able to look after their child after all. Say that you hope they'll be able to find someone else as you've let them know with plenty of time to do just that.

secretly thinking it is one thing, plastering it on the internet and encouraging other people to pile in on this kid is another.

This! And then go and book something nice to do for your day.

It is worrying behavior's.

No one has mentioned that this child could possibly be neuro-divergent.