Pissed off at DH making breakfast

This fetishing of protein whatever the quality i.e completely ignoring the cancer inducing nitrates in the sausage and bacon is absolutely bizarre. Bananas have fibre in them, fibre slows the absorption of carbs so hardly going to be a high and low hit like a Marsbar

What lack of willpower? The OP wanted banana on toast. She had banana on toast despite fried food being waved in her face. Her willpower sounds fine. He doesn't like it though.

I hear ya op

It's his love language, cooking for you is how he shows his support and care for you. It's sweet that he did it, but you'd appreciate a little bit more thought and consideration for your new normal.

I can't count how many times I've asked my husband to stop offering me snacks, sweet, unhealthy foods as I want to eat healthier. He says how proud he is and agrees to do as I ask. Then the Next night will come back from the shop with a huge chocolate bar, 1 for each of us.
I know his thought process was that he wanted to get me something as a treat, and that's where he stops thinking.

Yes it is frustrating and yes it can feel like they're trying to undermine what we're doing, and they're not supporting us. It does help to remember though that they're just men, and men bless their hearts don't in general have much thinking capacity 🙄

I suggest this only because I was in same boat as you 9 months ago and needed the moral support to loose weight and lower my bmi.
I joined Slimming World. Found it very supportive, gave me an understanding of which foods to eat and which to be careful of. So much information available on both the app and in the weekly groups. And it works.
I'm not a fan of diets and having lost 3 stone in 6 months I'm very chuffed with myself.
Your Dh might be worried that if you diet he will have to eat rabbit food too, but the recipies in SW are almost indishuishable from day to day cooking.

Sugar and carbs are far worse for weight control than proteins. However, processed proteins, like sausage are not so good.
I think you went a bit overboard though. One sausage, the bacon and and a fried egg, leaving out the fried bread, wouldn't have been that many more calories than the banana and toast, especially if you had butter on the toast, and would have filled you up for longer.

Then you could have sat down with him and explained that, in future, grilled bacon, grilled mushrooms and tomatoes, poached eggs, and wholemeal toast with no spread would be a better "Sunday breakfast" for you than sausages and everything fried.
And you could have expressed your gratitude at his thoughtfulness in making breakfast but stressed the need to factor in how mindful you are trying to be of your healthy eating plan and how much you value his support.
Eating a little of what he had prepared and being grateful for the kind thought would have been better in the long run the tipping everything in the bin and insisting on your banana and toast. That's just going to lead to a stressful atmosphere between the two of you and that might lead you to eat more? Don't know if stress is one of your triggers but it's definitely one of mine. You need to win this war and if you concede the occasional small battle on the way in order to keep family on side it won't matter in the long run.

She can have a proper sausage

YANBU

Your DH is not listening to you OP

I do some very strict shreds now and again and HAVE to stick to my rigid plan. It's not a case of eating whatever someone has cooked me to 'be nice'. It's not nice as it has spoilt my diet. Similarly if DH knows I am on a shred he won't offer me any wine or beer as I will have to decline. (to be fair that's good as he doesn't have so much either so we're all that bit healthier).

Stick to what you are doing OP and tell DH that you are in charge of your own food.

All the posters protesting that the banana on toast is a bad breakfast and some bacon and eggs now and again won't hurt are missing the point.

By a mile

People here are mental

Let's just say it wasn't food (seeing as so many people have a problem with that)

Let's say it was alcohol. The op decides to stop drinking alcohol. For her health. Her husband can still drink. She's not stopping him from drinking.

He repeatedly brings her wine and g&ts. Suggests a cosy night in with a film and a bottle of wine.

Are we really saying well she could just have a little sip. She should be grateful he's made it for her. It's his way of showing he cares. He misses her drinking with him so it's her fault.

Bonkers.

Why even use alchol to draw comparison, lets really go for it.

Wife says she's off for a nice bath when she gets in from her walk.

She returns, husband presents her with an array of sexy lingerie and a raging hard-on having taken a viagra, shunted the kids off to Grandmas, and is ready for a sex marathon that would teach the Kama Sutra a thing or two.

Wife says 'no thankyou, I am going for my bath now'

Husband throws an almight strop, bins the lingerie, berates her for not wanting his lovely offer of all of the sex... and stomps off to his room to sulk.

Would we have a bunch of posters telling the OP she should have had the sex she did not ask for and did not want, that it was 'nice' to offer it (when its not an offer, its a set up and a demand!)...

We fucking wouldn't. Because being forced to accept something you do not want is not acceptable, no matter what it is.

For the hard of thinking, an 'offer' looks like this:

'Hey wife, would you like a fry up, I am thinking of making one but have not made anything yet'

A demand looks like this:

'I've ignored what you said, made you this huge plate of food you didn't ask for and almost certainly don't want having already decided what you do want to eat. I am going to get stroppy and unpleasant if you decline.'

See the difference?

Well done for your huge achievement so far. I think your husband probably doesn’t understand the difficulty you’re going through in trying to maintain a good diet and lose some weight.

Try reading the glucose goddess it’s amazing and I think you’ll find actually a fried breakfast may have been better for you than carbs and sugar.

wishing you all the best for your ongoing achievement

Haven’t read all of the comments so don’t know if this is helpful but I’m a hypnotherapist and I warm all my clients who are embarking on habit change to watch for their partners/family etc sabotaging their efforts - it’s quite common and most of the time they don’t realise they’re doing it: they’re trying to be supportive but they don’t like change and generally there’s a part of them that is terrified that if you achieve your goal, you’ll realise you can do better and leave. If you say that, they’ll scoff but maybe reassure him in different ways. Perhaps talk about the fun things you can do together when you lose weight etc and see what happens- and huge congrats on the changes you’re making!

I agree with OP. He isn't being supportive and is enabling you. You have asked for support and he is doing the opposite. You were right to get angry.

Completely understand OP.

I gained some weight during Covid from a combination of too much baking, cooking, drinking, and generally being a bit of an emotional eater when faced with grieving.

It was really difficult to shift, am still trying to get rid of it.

It is really hard as you age.

I too would be very irritated by the thought that my husband was not supporting my efforts.

YANBU and he needed telling!

Good luck, you are doing great.

Eating a little of what he had prepared and being grateful for the kind thought would have been better in the long run the tipping everything in the bin and insisting on your banana and toast. That's just going to lead to a stressful atmosphere between the two of you and that might lead you to eat more?

Wtf am I reading? She should've been grateful to her DH for ignoring what she wanted for breakfast? She should've binned off her banana and eaten what he told her to? Just to keep the peace and not lead to a stressful atmosphere???

It's not only the Sistine Chapel AutumnCrow, I'm wailing at this thread 😭

Tomorrow I'm going to cook a fry up, place the plate in the middle of my dining table and wail at it for 25 minutes in the interests of balance.

Then I'm going to eat banana on toast.

Carry on you are doing great - he’s feeling insecure - have a calm talk !

I know how you feel.
when I was dieting my ex husband would sit with tubes of Pringles or pretzels and offer me some.. or buy a tub of ice cream and bring in 2 spoons…
Then when I complained he wasn’t being supportive he said ‘well I don’t need to loose weight and surely you have the willpower to just say no!!’….

he worked away and I lost 2 stone in 9 weeks… he came back and didn’t even notice!! Really upset me!

We’ve separated now, and I’m now dieting, exercising and only buying healthy stuff to stop temptation when I’m sat in the evening… I’ve got a long way to go, but I’ve lost 8lb in 4 weeks and going to start swimming ..
Keep it up… we’ll done. Just calmly ask him not to offer you crap

The food that works in a diet is that food that makes the person dieting happy, full, and able to continue eating within their parameters.

Whether the fry up would have kept her full for longer is completely immaterial. The fry up could easily mess with her mindset and made it harder for HER to stick to her diet for the rest of the day.

Whether a million and one Mumsnetters think it was better for her or not, if SHE didn't want it then <shock, horror> she can choose not to have it.

Given she has lost 7kg already it is clearly WORKING for HER!

It must be galling for all these dieting gurus to have someone eating something THEY don't think is appropriate and still lose weight....

She was not morbidly obese. Morbidly obese is 100 lb (45+kg) overweight. At 31 BMI to start, she is probably in the 29 BMI overweight category now. She has lost 7kg. Why the nastiness?

OrderOfTheKookaburra · great response.

You lot really hate men, and your husbands

@zombie0037 - nah, I don't hate men. I just don't have them up on a pedestal and think I always have to "be kind" to them when they're acting like jerks.

Haha no, we just hate manipulative bastards who food push.

The breakfast without the fried bread would have been a better choice.

You can shed pounds and eat a cooked breakfast-