Pissed off at DH making breakfast

Could you follow recipes in recipe books or look at a website together to get it into his mind what you are trying to achieve in a complete change of diet.
I think adapting offers and changing your snacks alongside his of bit altogether maybe a help.
He needs to rethink about your efforts.
I do not see it as you do so much.
He is a man.. does he gear you!

Why the fuck does she need to educate him as if he is a child? In any case, 'I'm having bananas on toast for breakfast' is a statement so simple a child could understand it. The OP does not have to explain, excuse or cajole her husband into letting her eat what she wants. She doesn't need his permission to choose her own breakfast. Some of the responses on this thread are unbelievable!

@HeadNorth

for decades. Decades! The OP and her DH have indulged in food and wine together. He has cooked and they have both enjoyed together. For decade.

The OP has been doing the new diet for 12 months.

I imagine there is an element of him missing what they shared together.

added to which, he can and does eat what the hell he likes and doesn’t gain weight. So perhaps he does need to be educated re healthy eating

New diet for 3 months!!

Or perhaps he needs to let an adult eat what they want? This is going to shock you, but women have bodily autonomy the same as men and can choose what they eat. Crazy times.

Absolutely

but my point is…. If enjoying a weekend fry up is something the dh and op have done for decades (yes, actually decades according to the op), then not a sign of a completely thick shit, to be missing the “old days”

So he eats his fry up and she eats her bananas on toast - I am honestly not seeing what the issue is here or what problem the OP is expected to solve.

I loathe bananas, so my previous post in support of a cooked breakfast may have something to do with that. 😀

I do agree that he should not be cooking food for the op that she doesn't want.

My own husband has been nothing but supportive of my low carb diet. This despite the fact that eating out has become a massive pain in the arse these days. Had to cave and have a toasted ciabatta yesterday. It was that or starve.

Perhaps because you haven’t been married for decades and enjoyed something with your partner day in and day out for thousands and thousands of days!

I should have added. My husband eats what he wants and I eat what suits me. Mostly we have the same thing with adaptations for my meal. It's not that difficult to respect each others choices, or it shouldn't be.

I came on here to support as fuck me dieting is hard but as someone who's lived through domestic violence and partner rape please fuck all the way off with this analogy

"Maybe just give him a little bit of sex next time? Even though I don't want to, important to keep the peace, he's only trying to be nice afterall...?

Maybe let him smack me about a bit, just a little to take out his frustrations, it's only fair, he's working hard.....? "

If you think eating something someone made out of politeness is the same as experiencing violence you've got bigger problems than being a bit fat!

There's some good advice on here about protein etc, banana and toast is a good breakfast, but probably with a slight change you might feel even better.

Dieting and weight is so
Emotive as well as physical, best of luck I'm sure if he's as decent as you say in other ways he'll get used to it and help out more, maybe next time you'll come back to poached eggs and wholemeal toast!

It’s interesting how many women fall over themselves to defend the poor menz.

OP was clear in her first post that she was sorting out her own breakfast.
her husband is not being forced to diet with her.
she lost her rag at him for repeatedly trying to sabotage her diet and trying to make out she’s unreasonable when he was the one attempting to force his food choices on to her.

and yet the mental gymnastics to make the OP unreasonable.

Yes, I’d be hungry an hour later after banana on toast and it’s high in sugar. I used to do LCHF and was never hungry. Had my cholesterol checked and it was perfect.

Hello, haven’t read the whole thread but just wanted to wish you all the best.
i do know of a couple where he would ‘lovingly’ make sure his wife ate fried breakfast, biscuits etc he’d cooked - even tho the doc had explained she needed to lose weight. It seemed to be some sort of power game as she was totally reliant on him for lifts etc. not saying that’s the case, but as pps have said, of course eat what you choose. It’s your body.

Sounds like they both need educating about healthy eating tbh. That's not a snipe but a lot of people just aren't aware of basic nutrition and what works for them.

Obvs OP's choice but I'd personally have swapped the fried for regular bread and eaten a bacon and egg sandwich. If you trim the fat off the bacon, it's actually a decent breakfast.

Apologies if already said but definitely this.

Naturally if you don't want to eat a fry up, it's your prerogative but depending on the quality of ingredients and whether grilled or fried, makes a big difference. You might find that the bacon and eggs aren't so bad with a few minor modifications (trimming fat etc.) and potentially not worth a bust up over.

We buy our sausages from M&S as they have high meat content ranges 90+%. It doesn't have to be sausages but successful lifestyle changes involve cheat days and the ability to swap old favourites with similar but healthier options. Personally, successful eating isn't eliminating the bad stuff but eating well enough the rest of the time that an occasional blowout doesn't make a difference.

Banana on toast is great but personally I add good quality peanut butter so I have some protein in there, which balances it out more to give a better ratio of carbs, protein and fats.

7kgs is great though and just keep going. With a bit more research you'll be fine.

I've been married for 3 decades and if my DH decided he wanted banana and toast for breakfast, why should that remotely upset me, if he was the one going out to get his bananas? I do worry at the state of some marriages if you so are worried about upsetting your husband by changing what you want to eat. Do you stop being a person in your own right at a certain point in a marriage? DH & I never got that memo.

Need to have a conversation with him about how you need his help and that by offering crisps he’s sabotaging.

However, depending what’s in the fried breakfast it may not have been so bad. Banana on toast is very carby. A fried breakfast has more protein and depending on how large might not be any worse.

I also have to watch what I eat. I’d eat a fried breakfast (within reason, eg fried eggs with spray) but wouldn’t eat banana on toast.

@captainmarvella

You say that he is a good husband and he has no form for this kind of reaction before. Quite a few spouses are threatened when their OH start making positive changes about their body. I certainly was, when my OH started gymming last year after a warning from his doctor. I started feeling insecure that he'd get better while I'd be still fat and boring (both of us are foodies and got fat together during the course of our marriage!).

Absolutely this. The OP's husband absolutely is threatened by her wanting to lose weight and make herself look better/feel better/feel more confident etc. As has been said, he is displaying 'feeder' tendencies. This is a common tactic with people whose partner is making lifestyle changes, exercising more, eating healthier, and losing weight. They get jealous and resentful, and worried that their partner is going to look better than them/attract members of the opposite sex etc... It's a well-known fact.

DH AND I are guilty of this sometimes...

We have both suffered with weight issues since we met 35 years ago. Been between a stone underweight, and 5 and a half stone overweight (currently somewhere in the middle!) If I have been 'a bit fat' for a year or so, I go on a diet, (say the 5:2,) and I say to DH 'I shall not be eating much on the 2 days, and am being careful on the other 5.'

Within days, he goes to get a bag of crisps for himself, and says 'want a bag?' Then several chocolate digestives, then a cherry bakewell, then a buttered fruit scone... Asks me if I want one... Every. Single. Time. Sometimes even brings one in and says 'g'waan! Won't hurt ya, it's only a cake/couple of biscuits/bag of crisps...!!!' Tries to derail my diet every time.

When I refuse to be derailed, after a few weeks, he often joins me on the diet, and then it's a battle to eat less than me. He eats hardly ANYthing every day. The weight drops off him, and his weight loss surpasses mine. He lost 2 stone in 2 months several years ago, and I had lost 12 pounds in 3 months. People started to notice his weight loss and not mine.

Understandably, his weight went back on very quickly when he started eating properly again. Mine carried on coming off, slower, but it was better as I toned up as well because I walked 3 miles a day. People started noticing my weight loss about 5 months in. My weight stayed off longer too.

As I say, I can be similar. Whenever HE has gone on a diet (and I'm not on one,) the weight drops off him, and people notice it, and his clothes size gets smaller quickly, and he looks better as he wears nicer clothes etc...

But he gets really annoying, and constantly talks about his weight loss, how he notices how much I eat and how he has had to poke an extra notch in his belt because it's soooo loose now 🙄 When he stops his diet and starts to regain the weight, I feel secretly pleased. Not that he's getting fat per se, and it's only a couple of stone, but I feel a bit threatened when he's slimmer/ fitter/ healthier and I'm fat and quite sedentary. And as I said, he is annoying as fuck when he's on a strict diet. (And I am not on one!) He gets obsessed.

Anyone who thinks what the OP's husband did was done out of 'kindness' and to be nice is deluded. She is trying to lose weight, cut calories, cut fats etc, and he lands a massive fried breakfast on her? WTF? Why? I am 100% certain that he would not have done this if she'd not announced she was on a diet/trying to get slimmer.

Also, a banana being as bad (or worse) that a huge fry-up?! LOL!!! WTF?! 😂 I can't believe anyone believes that! 😆

Also @SecretEater23 YANBU in any way, shape, or form.

The powerful Mumsnet banana is more potent than a Mars Bar, more dangerous than a fried breakfast, and is best handled only at the behest of husbands.

I wasn’t saying the breakfast was better, just that bananas on toast isn’t as healthy as some might think.

OP I have no idea why most of this thread is everyone dissing your preferred breakfast. It works for you - keep going.

Him making you something you haven’t asked for and don’t want is NOT kind or thoughtful - in fact, it’s just the opposite.

Some of you really haven't got the memo about processed and red meat and cancer.

Perhaps he unconsciously/ secretly prefers you overweight for some reason? It does sound a bit weird that he keeps trying to get you to eat junk etc when he knows you are trying to lose weight.

I can’t believe the vote is 50/50. 50% Stepford wives on Mumsnet who’d have thunk it?
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