Pissed off at DH making breakfast

A fry up brekkie without potatoes and toast is certainly a better alternative than banana and toast, which is just a sugar fest (have been doing low carb all year).

However, if OP is not on a low carb diet and just practising portion control and exercise to lose weight, then a fry up breakfast is not ideal.

I'd be livid if my husband screams at me for making him a cooked breakfast.

OP, you didn't have to explode at your husband for making you breakfast. If this AIBU was about how your husband forced you to eat a fry up or was passive aggressive / nasty to you about not eating what he cooked, then YANBU. But you yelled at him for not reading your mind, so YABU and possibly need a reality check, if you are still grieving over your friend's death and taking it out on your loved ones.

THANK YOU 😂

She didn't explode at him.

What is your point as I literally said and was referring to when I was younger and previous generations the English diet was no worse than any other it is when we started become Americanisd that the problems came in. You've literally quoted me saying that so Lord knows why you chose that to prove your point in the modern day?

Like most things in the UK, this comes down to income and affordability. I don't know anybody who is obese, I am probably the unfitest person amongst family and friends and I'm certainly not obese. My brother and family live by the principles of the 'blue diet' and this is generally the outlook of everyone o know. Your statistics are not familiar to me and like I stated, I was referring to decades previous where no the UK was not any different.

just saw the drip feed 🙄

OP, YANBU. Opens bin and tips the food inside... what a drama queen.

You say that he is a good husband and he has no form for this kind of reaction before. Quite a few spouses are threatened when their OH start making positive changes about their body. I certainly was, when my OH started gymming last year after a warning from his doctor. I started feeling insecure that he'd get better while I'd be still fat and boring (both of us are foodies and got fat together during the course of our marriage!).

Luckily that served as a push (because I was irritated with myself for feeling this way, when my husband had a health scare and was taking steps to get better) and I started low carb, now I am on my way a better body and healthier body too. I remember feeling threatened at the beginning. If this is what your husband is feeling too, some open communication is needed.

Not just words passed on as you are on your way to the store, but a proper sit down conversation like an important family meeting where you put your goals and concerns, and tell him what you appreciate about him and what you don't (him not listening to you reg your current health goals), and what you need from him (to support you unconditionally in your journey).

If even after this, your husband is behaving like a man child, then you need to take some decisions.

pressed send too soon.

*you need to take some decisions, as it'd mean that your husband is not a good spouse after all. Good spouses don't deliberately sabotage their OH's health goals. (Even at my most insecure, I didn't tempt my husband with a fry up!)

Your behaviour was the worse of the two. You “gave him both barrels” and swore at him. All because he made you a breakfast you didn’t want to eat. We only have your side of the story, of course, but I suspect there is some substance to his claim that you have become obsessed with food and mealtimes are now strained.

Imagine if a woman had posted here that she made her husband a cooked breakfast (or any other meal, for that matter) and he said he didn’t want to eat it. She was obviously a little upset about this as she thought she was doing something nice and had spent time making it. And then he “gave her both barrels” and told her “who the fuck do you think you are, dictating to me what I eat”. Imagine if that were posted on this boad. They’d be cries of “LTB” from all corners.

How is it? I really don't get how the cancer causing processed meats are 'better' for you?

Having too much protein is bad for the liver and kidneys, if you have an underlying kidney problem, high protein diets are dangerous. High protein diets in 'whatever form' including processed meats like sausage and bacon are not some kind of elixir ensuring good health!

You've missed a lot out from your hypothetical comparator here. For it to be comparable:

• he'd have to have told her that he was going to buy bananas for breakfast.
• he'd have to have suggested giving the breakfast to DCs.
• she'd then have to have binned it.

I imagine she'd actually get a lot of "I wish mine would care as much about losing weight".

There is some crap being spouted on here about nutrition. If you think a banana is as bad for you as a Mars bar you need to revisit your science books. Bananas have fibre in them which slows the absorption of sugar in to the blood system. As well as the nutrition value of potassium, vitamin C and B6. I mean you must work for the PR department for confectioners if you are advocating this preposterous notion. Or maybe you work for a process meats company if you think sausage is healthier for you than a banana!

Talk about changing the story when it doesn’t go your way. 😂

It would be a miracle if my husband cooked breakfast so I would eat it just on principle that it may never happen again.

This thread makes me think of another recent thread about a comedian pushing coriander into a woman's mouth.

The core question for both threads is:

Do women have the right to decide what goes in their mouths?

All the other stuff about allergies and how to manage them on the coriander thread and calories and "processed food" (whatever that even means) on this thread is actually completely irrelevant.

Do women have the right to decide what goes in their mouths?

The only defensible answer is an unqualified "yes". Not "yes, but...". "Yes, but..." is another way of saying "no" because whatever comes after the "but" is negating the "yes".

"Yes, but she shouldn't refuse a fry-up because that hurts "D"H's feelings" is a stealth wording of "no, because she might hurt her "D"H's feelings".

His attitude is a sign of the absolute cluelessness of someone who hasn't had to struggle with losing weight.

It's not malicious but it's so bloody thoughtless.

And all the people saying. "You could have nibbled on it....blah, blah, blah" are just as bad.

Losing weight is HARD. Changing your mindset is HARD. Many a binge has started with the slippery slope of giving in to someone "Just being Nice" and pressuring you into eating something you would not choose to otherwise.

So fuck off with the Be Nice. How about some pressure on the husband to "be supportive" instead? Or is that not being "nice enough".

MN - the only place a man can be in trouble for not making breakfast, and making breakfast!
You’re being massively unreasonable, if you don’t want it have some willpower ffs

She had willpower and told him no, suggested that he gave to the DCs. He threw a strop and binned it.

RTFT and you'd know that.

Many a binge has started with the slippery slope of giving in to someone "Just being Nice" and pressuring you into eating something you would not choose to otherwise.

This. I've mentioned food pushers at least twice now. There are the ones who think they are being nice by "treating"§ you, and there are the ones who want you to stay fat for whatever reason (jealousy, control, whatever). The second group will disguise themselves as the first.

§ The idea of food being a treat is in itself harmful, but I could fill the thread if I went into detail about that, so I won't.

Aye...

If that is what happened, which it appears... it isn't.

There is no need to 'mind read' if you listen to what someone actually says.

In this case the OP told her DP she was going out and would get bananas for her breakfast.

She did not explode at or scream at him for making a cooked breakfast, she lost her cool when he was passive aggressive, stroppy and childishly binned the breakfast she neither asked for nor wanted, rather than save it, give it to the kids or give it to the dog.

I do worry about the reading comprehension of posters on here...

I meant see a nutritionist with him to educate him, not you. But I see your point of why should your saying no thanks not have been the end of it.

Tbh I worry about the same too! Since you didn't read my next posts... this is why drip feeds are a headache

I also think you were being unreasonable. Your DH's breakfast would have filled you up for hours, so you could have had lighter meals for the rest of the day.

Obviously a banana is a much healthier option than a Mars bar, but when it comes to losing weight the nutritional benefits of food don't matter, calories do. I once lost a large amount of weight by eating one meal a day, and that one meal was usually a lot of rubbish foods - the kilos just melted off me. Of course I am not advocating that as a weight loss method, but there is a lot of rubbish spouted by people about how they can't possibly eat this, that or the other as they are trying to lose weight.

Did you actually read the post?

Why would someone on a diet want a fry-up? She had told her h she was having bananas for breakfast. He didn't listen to her, then got stroppy. The fault here is his.

Even if he had cooked something you said you didn't want? Something he knew was bad for you?

You need a better husband and higher standards.