Pissed off at DH making breakfast

I think you've perhaps misattributed something to me. I know he was the one who binned it. I'm in total support of the OP.

Fried breakfast in the food bin and I've just eaten toast and banana. Fried breakfast in the food bin and I've just eaten toast and banana.

well done you

After your update a couple of pages back @SecretEater23 I had a feeling something like that was going on but I often jump in with the men are twats so tried giving him the benefit of doubt. Yeah, he is trying to sabotage your diet. Reeaally common. Dont rise to it,be annoyingly polite about it "no thank you, im dieting remember?" with a sugary sweet smile then float off. Will wind him right up. Then sit and have a think about why he is doing it and what this means for you both.

Her DH threw it away, she said to see if one of the kids wants it.
And when you're making healthy choices, we are constantly confronted with meals being made, meals out, treats being bought.. if we start accepting one meal just to be kind then why not eat that cake someone bought etc.. it all goes out of the window. You have to be tough with yourself whilst you're losing. OP said she was having banana and toast to him! And when she doesn't want the fry up he sulks. He should be supportive, surely he wants a happier wife.

When she's lost the weight she can say yes to a greasy fry up and make healthier choices the rest of the day and no harm done.

I can't be arsed either. This thread has got to be some kind of weird psycho-sociological experiment into British intelligence levels.

Behave! 😂 A BMI of over 40 is morbidly obese. OP was just in the obese category.

Ah of course! OP should have done a tinkly laugh and made a joke out of it… then thanked the nice man who made her a fry up despite her saying to him that she wanted to have banana on toast….

Fuck. That.

I think the only one acting childish was OPs DH who threw it in the bin when he didn’t get his own way - oh and who also didn’t eat his either… 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Rightiothen13 - apologies, this was already addressed 🙂

I think YABU. I think you should have had an egg, sausage and plain toast with some mushroom. Save the rest for later in the fridge, apart from the fried bread which you ditch. No need for all the drama.

Why should Op eat what she doesn't want & hasn't asked for?

Her husband already knew what she wanted for breakfast as she had gone to buy bananas!

I lost 3 stone over a year and have kept it off another year. I completely changed my eating habits to do it and I expect to eat this way and stay this weight forever.

Dh still doesn't get it and will buy food/treats based on my old eating patterns. But I don't blame him. I ate the old way for the first 33 years of our marriage and the new way is still a relatively recent change.

I would have maybe eaten the bacon and an egg with some tomatoes and had the banana with my tea. Him having to look at the left over food lying around the kitchen might have hammered home the message that I don't eat that stuff anymore.

Honestly you need to have a chat with him when you've both calmed down

He either thinks he's helping. That dieting is a chore and you're restricting yourself. So his offers of 'treats' like a glass of wine, crisps, fry up are his way of being helpful.

Or he resents you and this life style change and is trying to sabotage you.

Only you know him really. But his constant offers of temptation have to stop. This isn't a diet as such. It's a lifestyle change.

I think you've been very clear here HE doesn't have to change his diet. Which is perfectly fair enough.

🤦🏻‍♀️

OP did not want the fry up. OP wanted banana and toast. OP told DH that’s what she was having…..

DH ignored her and make the breakfast anyway and got in a strop when OP declined it.

If OP wants a treat she can choose it when she wants - not have it forced on her.

Also for the last time…. OP DID NOT THROW THE FOOD AWAY HER DH DID!!

Christ almighty some people on here…

If he was being a supportive husband he would have asked if she wanted any fry up as he was making one for himself. Once she had said no thanks, I’m having banana on toast that should have been it.

I'd be embarrassed to be married to someone who didn't "get" that there were certain things I no longer ate drank & that they shouldn't offer them to me.

I think you need to compromise a little bit because one fried breakfast does not make you fat neither will it sabotage your efforts. If I have a fried breakfast, I tend to eat less for rest of the day than I would if I'd had something lighter, just because it's a big meal and it fills me up and keeps me going for hours. At the end of the day it's a calorie deficit that will get the weight off, doesn't matter where those calories come from. Obviously there will be people jumping on to say not all calories are equal and yes most of us are intelligent enough to realise that 500 cals from fruit, veg & lean protein is more nutritionally rich than 500 cals of crips, but you need to find a way to live your life for the long term, not crash diet or start demonising certain foods. Your kids need to see you enjoy things too, otherwise they'll start to pick up on the arbitrary good food / bad food designations you are giving to your diet. Banana on toast is great but if the family is sitting down to a cooked breakfast then you should be able to do the same without thinking you've screwed up.

It's not about calories or whether or not one fried breakfast will make Op fat.

She had already decided what she wanted for breakfast & her husband knew this.

There was no need for him to make her breakfast of any kind at all.

OK, I think you're a wee bit U. I say this because it is up to us (the 'overeater/dieter') to learn to say no. Believe me, I've been where you are and I know it's hard and can be upsetting at first, but you need to learn to say 'no' to yourself rather than saying no to him.

I've actually learnt to say no and take great pride in doing so. It gives me a great sense of personal satisfaction to say 'No, thank you' when I'm offered something I don't want to eat. Do I fail at times, sure, but for the most part I'm successful and I think it's because I do take pride in my willpower and my weight control 'successes'.

At this point I've 'trained' my family to offer ONCE and if I say no they drop it. But I don't get angry or upset that they've offered. And I think if you start saying 'no' to your DH without dramatic gestures and he sees the food going to waste he'll probably stop fixing portions for you without asking. Actions being louder than words, as it were. If he doesn't, then he's a diet saboteur and you have a bigger problem.

I have entered a banana-based parallel universe, right?

My experience is that people who dont have to diet have no clue how hard it is and are often quite clueless about the impact of 'just having' one of anything, whether that is a glass of wine, a fried breakfast, etc etc. Also I think a lot of men 'listen' but dont really hear unless you are absolutely clear with them - I have to shout at my step dad before he really seems to register things, which is not pleasant for either of us, but until I lose my temper, he seems to just ignore a lot of what I say.

I like to send threads like this my friend who is a doctor of dietetics/university lecturer/researcher to give her a massive laugh. She will very much enjoy the 'banana is no better than a mars bar' bit. 🤣

Keep going OP you're doing great on the weight loss. You weren't being unreasonable and I'm glad you've managed to have a chat with your DH to try and resolve things.

Well done OP for losing weight & sticking to your guns.

Your DH is trying to sabotage your diet - maybe even subconsciously.

My DH does this. We are both a bit overweight. He will buy large bars of chocolate as 'a treat' for me a few times a week. I have no will power if there is chocolate in the house, especially if I'm having a tough day or haven't slept well. I've asked him not to but he stillI does it. I think it's a form of control.

And to of you horrified about the waste - it's just as much a waste to be forced to eat something you didn't want as it is to throw it away. Unless you are literally starving.

There are some very odd ideas on here as well about what humans ate in the Paleolithic period, as though they had no knowledge whatsoever of wild grains.

She did say no without the dramatic gestures though @AcrossthePond55 . He ramped up the drama and threw the food away.