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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Husband left me sleeping in hot car

471 replies

BlueNavy · 18/06/2023 22:38

We went out for lunch today. Husband drove home and I fell asleep in the passenger seat. We got home and him and the children all went inside, leaving me in the hot car parked in direct sunlight with all the windows up and doors closed. I only woke up about 15mins when my son came to look for something. I was boiling hot when I woke up and was so angry he'd left me there.

We'd had an argument earlier and I almost think he did it on purpose. He says he didn't know I was asleep and thought I was just sitting in the car for a while. I'd been sleeping with my head drooping forward about 10 miles so I think it would have been obvious. He says oh i told you "we're home" and you ignored me. I was flippin' asleep!

I'm upset what could have happened if I'd been there longer in that heat. There's no way I would leave a child in a hot car with windows all up so I don't see why he thinks it's OK to do it to me. AIBU? Thank you

OP posts:
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6
Catspyjamas17 · 19/06/2023 06:38

Spankydom · 19/06/2023 06:35

If someone is chauffeuring you around, it’s reasonably polite to at least stay awake.
sure she’s an adult and can make her own way out of the car? She’s not a baby

Bollocks. She's knackered and entitled to a little nap. She's not "being chauffeured", her husband was driving, FFS.

Spankydom · 19/06/2023 06:42

Lacucuracha · 19/06/2023 06:37

He’s not chauffeuring her around, the family went for lunch together.

There will be times when she does things for him, and he won’t be expected to be pay for it with his company.

It’s just kind not to fall asleep in a car when someone is driving you a long distance. I think, anyway. It makes me annoyed when my partner falls asleep in the car if we are going longer than an hour. And I make sure not to do it to others when they are driving.

Bananarepublic · 19/06/2023 06:43

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

It's you that's weird and also weirdly aggressive in every thread you're on. Not sure if you just like winding people up and then telling them they're thin skinned or you've just got a very strange view of the world. Either way it's odd..

Makemyday99 · 19/06/2023 06:45

Lacucuracha · 19/06/2023 06:02

What about all the comments saying OP is right and what DH did was dangerous and mean?

And all the posts disagreeing & saying she is over reacting which she doesn’t agree with. As she’s not interested in a balanced opinion as she clearly believes she is entirely reasonable then I don’t understand what the point of posting is if she clearly isn’t interested in another person’s perspective. Waste of time. Such a trivial post anyway. She fell asleep in car & he didn’t wake her..big deal

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 19/06/2023 06:46

Wow. Some absolute cunts on here isn't there? What the absolute fuck is wrong with you all?
Has someone actually had a go at the OP for sleeping during the day? 😁 Some of you wonder why you don't have any friends.
It's a running joke in this house how easily I fall asleep as a passenger, I dont know why I do but there we go. The bile and bullshit spouted on this thread is crazy.
How is you marriage generally OP? Cos yeah, he knew you was asleep and that was a pretty shit thing to do in this weather.

littleblackcat27 · 19/06/2023 06:48

airmaxJ · 19/06/2023 00:08

He could have been in legal trouble if you got Ill or died does he know that?

Shock

Really? from leaving someone in an unlocked car?

??

Misty84 · 19/06/2023 06:48

Some really mean responses on here, surprise surprise🙄
Yes you could’ve suffered from heatstroke. Therefore if he was going to leave you asleep in the car, I think the least he could’ve done was open your window so that you were next to fresh air.

BlinkeredBay · 19/06/2023 06:48

He’s obviously trying to loll you OP, log it with the police!

I”m surprised your two hour nap didn’t put you in a ether mood.
🙄

BlinkeredBay · 19/06/2023 06:49

*kill you

Northernsoullover · 19/06/2023 06:52

It was a shit thing for him to do. No way would I leave anyone asleep in a hot car. I can't believe people think it's acceptable.

Moveoverdarlin · 19/06/2023 06:52

What a fuss over nothing. You weren’t locked in, I presume you were on your own drive and you were stroppy with each other so he presumed you were ignoring him. You woke up and were a bit hot. That’s it.

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 19/06/2023 06:54

Makemyday99 · 19/06/2023 06:45

And all the posts disagreeing & saying she is over reacting which she doesn’t agree with. As she’s not interested in a balanced opinion as she clearly believes she is entirely reasonable then I don’t understand what the point of posting is if she clearly isn’t interested in another person’s perspective. Waste of time. Such a trivial post anyway. She fell asleep in car & he didn’t wake her..big deal

I think the OP has handled all the arsholes really well. She was asking advise on a situation that freaked her out and unfortunately the pricks descended. She hasn't being dramatic at all. Have a nice Monday 😊

pornyshroudofturin · 19/06/2023 06:55

Why?? Giving someone an extra bit of nap time is hardly cruel is it?

SlippySarah · 19/06/2023 06:56

I think as an adult you need to take some responsibility for your own health and welfare. Sleeping in the car in the middle of the day is not normal behaviour unless you were drunk or there is some backstory that you were up all night. Especially sleeping so heavily that you sleep through the car stopping and everyone getting out. Maybe you should see a doctor? If you do this sort of thing regularly your DH is probably fed up with it.

BoogiemanSam · 19/06/2023 06:56

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Why are you so obsessed with op being embarrassed? Talk about giving it a fucking rest…..

There is one embarrassing there here but it’s not an adult falling asleep in a car.

Makemyday99 · 19/06/2023 07:04

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 19/06/2023 06:54

I think the OP has handled all the arsholes really well. She was asking advise on a situation that freaked her out and unfortunately the pricks descended. She hasn't being dramatic at all. Have a nice Monday 😊

People with different opinions aren’t arseholes, personally I don’t think falling asleep in the car is a problem nor do I feel need to criticise every single aspect of the incident because ultimately it’s not that big of a deal really but op wasn’t interested in (sensible) responses suggesting she was making more of it than necessary. Passive aggressive comments are childish

Lcb123 · 19/06/2023 07:05

It’s quite weird thing to do, but you are overreacting.

Silvergoldandglitter · 19/06/2023 07:05

Op I do think you should think about getting checked out. Sleeping that heavily at that time of day isn't normal in my world. You say you slept with your head drooping for 10 miles then slept 15 mins in the car then went in the house and slept another 1.5hrs.
That's a hell of a load of sleep in the middle of the day.

PuddlesPityParty · 19/06/2023 07:12

I mean really this is all just daft. OP, if I’m being perfectly honest I think it’s really silly to fall asleep in the car anyway if you’re then gonna make a big deal out of not being woke up. You’re a grown woman, unless you have other health conditions you should be able to wait until you get home for a nap 😵‍💫

greencheetah · 19/06/2023 07:15

Oh come on @BlueNavy

You were either drunk, sulking and pretending to be asleep, or you have a strange medical condition.

My money is on a combo of the first two.

Itsbeennice · 19/06/2023 07:16

Were you really asleep, OP? Or testing him?

pillsthrillsandbellyache · 19/06/2023 07:18

@Makemyday99 you are 100% right, having a different opinion doesn't make someone an arsehole. Trying to be hurtful to an OP asking for advice however, does make someone an arsehole. A sad arsehole but an arsehole nonetheless.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 19/06/2023 07:18

I suspect he thought you were sulking and ignoring him after the previous argument and would come inside once you'd calmed down.

Whichwhatnow · 19/06/2023 07:19

Your husband does sound vindictive.

But the car fears are ridiculous, I've lived in vehicles for much of my life including actually living in a car (a Fiat Punto!) with two friends for two months in Portugal at the height of summer! Literally living in it, sleeping in it. If it got too hot we...got out 😅

DarrellRiversCriminalBehaviourOrder · 19/06/2023 07:21

It was a shitty thing to do and he was clearly getting revenge for the argument. What was the argument about?