Husband left me sleeping in hot car

YANBU.

Heatstroke was a possibility, and just waking up feeling pretty shitty was another.

You don't leave anyone sitting in a hot car, in direct sun asleep. It's just bloody obvious. My children would know better. He didn't even open the windows?

Yeah, I would be pissed off at the lack of care. I feel sorry for people who don't expect better in their relationships.

She could have woke up with a sunburnt face though. And for what? So DH could sulk? What next, can OP now refuse to make his dinner or would that be petty?

At lease you admit he did it out of sulkiness and pettiness.

I have no idea what he did or didn't do or why? I said I personally do little acts of care and appreciation when I feel like it and wouldn't feel like it if we'd been arguing. It's not petty, I don't have my partner's comfort and well being at the top of mind mind if I'm busy being pissed off with them.

I wouldn't like to be married to someone who would do this to me, and I wouldn't do it to DH, whether or not we'd had an argument. Dangerous or not, it's petty, thoughtless and unkind.

What planet are you on to think that someone would die from being in a hot car? You would wake up and get out before any harm came.

Why would she have got sunburned? Apart from the fact that car windows block most of the UV rays, she was only in the car for 15 minutes. Do you get sunburned while in the car on a hot day?

I’m surprised how unsympathetic people are being to OP! I think this is horrible. I could easily sleep through everyone getting out the car! She could have fainted or got heat stroke/prickly heat! I feel awful when I overheat, sick and miserable for ages. And I’ve burnt through the car window in my time too! Not relevant if she could have died or not, it’s inconsiderate at best and nasty at worst. I think this is awful behaviour. Husband treated her worse than a dog!

As I mentioned earlier in the thread, under very similar circumstances I didn't wake up until I was extremely unwell with heat stroke. Hospitalised. No booze, only 3degrees higher than in the OP's situation, and in the UK. OP says she was sound asleep and appears to be a deep sleeper.

As an aside, it's quite eye opening and stomach turning to see some people so openly admit that they wouldn't care for their partner's wellbeing and safety simply because they'd had a row with them. Yeuch.

Tomorrow on MN: DH woke me up from a lovely nap because he thought I would get too hot.
MN: What a nasty thing to do, LTB.

A bit over-dramatic. You are an adult, not an infant. And, as happened, you woke up because you were too hot, and got out of the car. Cars unlock from the inside exactly so an adult in a front seat can get out.

You can wake up
And open the door. An animal locked in a hot cat can't do that. That is the issue. Can't see what he did wrong.

This whole thing seems so weird to me I can't believe you went in and slept for another 1.5 hours! Could you sleep at night? That would keep me up for hours lol

Different sleep patterns aside while he's been slightly careless you're an adult it doesn't seem a big deal? Is there a lot of stuff going on in the background for context? I imagine it's more the straw that broke the camels back

Oh and for everyone saying "well, you'd have woken up if you got too hot, which you did"... from the OP, she only woke because one of her children came out to the car to retrieve something that they'd forgotten. So she could easily have slept until she became ill. As literally happened to me.

I don't think anyone who is sympathising with the OP is thinking that she could have had a seizure and died, but the potential was clearly there for her to have become quite unwell. And if her DH left her there on purpose because he was hacked off, then that's clearly a shit thing to have done.

See context is everything, it's so disingenuous to say that if he'd just woken her from a nap for the sake of it then he'd be being unreasonable. The point of this matter is that if he'd woken her from a nap it would have been the kinder thing to do, as he would have been preventing her from possibly sleeping too long in an increasingly hotter vehicle and potentially becoming very uncomfortable or even quite unwell. (As is shown by the fact that the OP then went on to sleep for a further 1.5hrs indicating that she was really quite tired and was likely to have slept for some time, if undisturbed).

I honestly think some people come on this board purely to be adversarial or antagonist and purposely misunderstand the point.

And some have too much time on their hands and write long missives, dictating how everyone should be like them and think the same way and if they don’t is “yeuch”.

I’m quite surprised at these replies! Of course he knew you were asleep and no he shouldn’t have left you. It was a mean thing to do OP.

@BlinkeredBay

Haha, you're quite the comedian, you've no idea how much I'd love to have too much time on my hands. No, sorry, I just use my time well. I'm perfectly capable of utilising my free time well, and it really only takes a minute or two to write a "missive" 🤣 in the time I apportion to perusing forums and posting and/or calling out people who are being nasty, disingenuous and confrontational when they really needn't. (Sorry you'd find that time consuming or taxing, there's help and resources for that sort of inability).

Oh, and please show me where I ascribed "yeuch" to anyone for having a different opinion to me. I found it distasteful that someone might openly state that they wouldn't afford their partner comfort or safety because they'd had a row 🤷🏼‍♀️. Quite different, and altogether reasonable.

This thread is bizarre.
A grown adult napping in the car during the day but takes no responsibility for herself.

Whilst sleeping, solidly enough to not wake up when the car stops and everyone else gets out, she is 100% claiming that she slept for 10 miles and knows that the people getting out the car closed their doors quietly.

AND ... having slept through the car stopping and three other people leaving it, whilst monumentally staying alive in 25 degree heat, she was then woken up by one of the ninja teenagers that had managed to silently exit the car but loudly came back to it

FFS!!

Oh and to prove she's not just a complete drama llama, there was also the mention of 2 weeks ago when her husband slept through her vomiting *right next to him!
*
OK 👌

I didn’t say anything about not caring about my partners wellbeing so not sure why you have directed that at me. I don't think leaving someone in the car for 15 minutes would be life threatening though as healthy adults would wake up if too hot unless under the influence of drink or drugs. I appreciate that you didn't but that would be rare and perhaps you weren't a healthy adult, even if you didn’t realise it.

So there are two options.

First, DH knew you were asleep and left you there anyway.

Going off the number of PP (myself included) who it didn't occur to that an adult may get heatstroke before being to rouse themselves, it's not crazy to think it didn't occur to him either.

He may have thought it was nice to let you doze for a bit, or just decided not to wake you as you'd rowed earlier and he could have a break from you - still not the same as thinking you could get heatstroke and not caring if you did.

2nd, he thought you were awake.

Possible, you may have stirred/opened your eyes when people made noise getting out and he mistook it for you being awake. People can have fairly detailed conversations with me if I'm nearly awake but not quite - I don't usually remember them though.

@WomblingTree86

I'm very healthy - I'm an emergency health practitioner so I know my own health, (and have unfortunately witnessed first hand these sort of cases happen more often than you'd like to think) but regardless of this, heat stroke can cause even the healthiest of people to become lethargic, disoriented and confused, and especially so if it creeps up on you - which is inevitably going to be the case if the circumstances arise when you are asleep. You don't get the chance, if you are in a deep sleep to recognise the onset and do something about it, which is exactly what did happen to me. (And if her child didn't wake her, what could have potentially happened to the OP).

Also, I didn't aim my thoughts about not considering your partner's safety or comfort if you'd had a row towards you - I specifically said "as an aside". It was @ohdelay who proudly stated that they wouldn't bother if they were pissed with their partner. Twice.

This is a fair point. I still believe, given the information that the OP has given us that her DH did potentially leave her there to sleep, thinking "meh, she can stay there until she wakes", being annoyed with her post argument. But that he maybe didn't actually realise that he could be leaving her in a situation where she could possibly end up, at the best, extremely uncomfortable, and at the worst, quite unwell.

It's the whole "well you had the responsibility not to fall asleep", "it's not as if you could have come to harm, you're not a child", "you must have been drunk", "he and your children were probably happy to have a break from you", "I wouldn't want to think of my partner if we'd had a row" "wow, you got a nap, what's your problem" etc etc that just seem harsh and unnecessary.

You're not a baby or a dog. An adult human being's body mass would not have dehydrated or gone into heart failure.