How deprived do you have to be to move in a man into your home a day of ‘knowing’ him on Facebook? *[Content warning: concerns child abuse]

Then why not identify these women (& men) and ensure they are on long lasting contraceptives. Parents who want to adopt have to go through such rigorous checks and training, it’s not right that any idiot (or worse) can get pregnant.

Another child victim sacrificed to please the neurotic population of sheeple who welcomed the lockdown. Falling over themselves to give up their own and other people's rights and destroy lives while not being arsed to spend even five minutes finding out anything for themselves.

Sterilise the fuckers

There needs to be stronger sentencing and deterrents for child abuse and neglect. Including for survivors of historic child abuse. At the moment abusers know that short of murder they can usually get away with it.

It makes me so angry 😡

I know of someone who’s child has been sexually abused by her last 2 boyfriends.
After the second time the child was removed by SS and then eventually given back to her.
Then mum meets a new man and moves him in after 3 days and gets the child to start calling him dad.
And we have to just wait for it to happen again as SS can’t do anything because he’s not actually done anything wrong yet.

These women are vile and the vile men prey on their weaknesses.

I wish there was some way to protect the thousands of children that are the victims of their parents mistakes.

Please do not make this about people’s view on the lockdown.

People act like this regardless of covid.

This is my belief too.

I'm a single mum. I'm on many single parent groups and it shocks me how many women think it doesn't matter how long you've known someone because "anyone can harm your child whether you've known them 1 day or 3 years" so it doesn't matter how quickly you introduce them and many women defend it by saying they want to introduce quickly to see how he will react around their child as that's a big test so why wait to introduce.

I’m a die hard feminist, and some people (especially on MN) think that means you can’t criticise women. Ever.

However as a feminist to me it’s important to not peg all women as blameless victims. There are women putting their children at risk every day and moving a random man in after day dot isn’t terribly unusual. It’s scary - and I suspect they do it through desperation for a man. And I don’t know how we even begin to undone that need or educate them on how dangerous it is.

They don't care as it is about them.

Fuck me... OP add a TW if there are photos that distressing included on a thread, please.

My brother met his first wife online and moved 200 miles to love with her after they’d been talking for 2 weeks. She had a 5yo son.

Thankfully my brother is not a indecent guy (but a total fucking idiot) but I remember thinking what the fuck is she thinking. It worked out for them in that they had kids and then an amicable divorce but the quickness in which this child called my brother daddy, and talks of changing his surname etc was shocking.

Of course when they divorced when his stepson was 10, ‘daddy’ no longer saw this boy or even checked in on him. My brother is an arse for ditching a child he happily had call him daddy but I have to attrition Ute so much of the blame on his ExW for putting her son in that situation. Disgraceful .

Oh and on these groups many women think introducing a man they've just me to their kids is no different to introducing them to a new friend.

I agree.

And I include "You have a right to have children. Must have a child at all costs".

Because even unfit people "deserve" children as if they're properties.

When I had DS, 20 years ago I was all teary eyed in the delivery suite cooing over him and said "Oh what can I do to ensure he is always safe" or some such and the midwife said "never invite a step-father into your home" and walked out. It struck a chord with me.

Before this becomes yet another burn the single mothers thread, let’s remember about all those mothers, married or single, who are staying in abusive relationships endangering their own kids. They are as damaged as each other, as affected as each other… but keep the abuser at close distance knowing who they are dealing with.

It is equally bad moving someone you don’t know into your home as staying sharing a home with an abuser. One mother sins of lack of prudence, the other one of complacency. Both are victims of abuse.

Most sensible people don't even consider a scenario close to the one you describe.

I live very close to this and was absolutely sickened when I heard about it. That little girl must have been terrified in the one place she should have felt safe and loved. Both of the scumbags should never see the light of day again.

I have been a single parent for 3 years and have been celibate for that entire time and will be until my children are much much older. I can’t date (nor would I want to) as my children are with me 90% of the time and there’s no way I would introduce someone new to them. Their father did though after a few weeks of dating.

I got called a martyr on the other thread about this tragedy for mentioning that safeguarding is the reason I'm staying single until my DC is an adult. But I'd rather be judged than put my child in danger. I wish people would open their eyes to how dangerous unrelated men are to children.

Fuck, that little girl was born 2 days after my DS1, that’s just utterly broke me.

I’ve had this conversation with DH and we have both agreed that if we should ever split neither would invite another partner to live with us until the kids were adults. I couldn’t live with myself after all these terrible stories of abusive step ‘parents’ recently.

I think there's an element of truth to this statement that anyone can harm your child.

It's more about how much trust you're prepared to put in someone though and when it's appropriate or not.

I don't think there's anything wrong with introducing someone quickly to see if they get on (frankly, if they don't It's easier to find out sooner rather than later) but leaving someone with your child who you barely know is weird. Moving them in after a day is really odd.

You will be surprised. Children are more likely to be abused and battered by their own dad than a stranger, it is just that abuse is often ignored or forgiven and thoroughly under researched when it happens under the blessing of a marriage.

DISCLAIMER: Not saying that it is ok to introduce strangers to your kids that quickly but that these extreme situations are the exception, not the rule of what single/divorced mothers can put their children through.

@ForTheSakeOfThePenguin ofcourse children are abused by their parents, but they are much more likely to be abused by an unrelated male living in their home. Unrelated males living in a child's home are nearly always a stepfather, although sometimes they're a stepbrother or a lodger.

I read this today and felt sick. Poor little girl.

How the fuck do you end up living with someone after one day ? She allowed this to happen. Can't even begin to wrap my head around it.

Yeah sure but it's usually used as an excuse to introduce someone very early to their children. I got jumped on because I said I would not meet strangers from.old in the park with my kids for 'dates' or invite men from old to my home for 'garden dates ' men I don't know. These were actual suggestions from people so just because anyone can harm your child doesn't mean you should not use precautions and use it as an excuse to introduce them to any tom dick or harry