How deprived do you have to be to move in a man into your home a day of ‘knowing’ him on Facebook? *[Content warning: concerns child abuse]

@TruffleWaffle you have made some excellent points especially ones about generational poverty and MC families. It's true indeed.

@EffortlessDesmond @TruffleWaffle yes she is and sadly those people will disproportionately occupy more time resources money than others with no perceived improved outcome

controversial to say, and obviously not the case for everyone..but I think in some areas and cultures, it’s normal to have a child/children as it’s the only way they can get accommodation and benefits. They never really wanted the child, are often young when they had them, have missed out on life and fun..I think they then resent that child, never bond with it, see them as a barrier to them having fun/sex..happy to palm them off on anyone that will have them, like men they hardly know.

They do do this already. Plenty of women are assessed prior to giving birth. All of us were by doctors, health visitors, midwives. If a concern is raised, children’s services go and make an assessment. Plenty of mums are made to hand over their babies at birth based on a court order instigated by children’s services.

Don't assume SS will always remove a child in danger. Too many times i have been told by SS that it is upsetting for a child to know it is their fault Uncle Bob no longer lives with them and that makes Mummy sad and that sometimes it is better if SS monitor the situation. Many times i have told SS that they are worse than abusers for leaving a child in harms way.

Well, that would entirely depend on why "uncle bob" was considered a risk and whether he is low risk and can therefore live with a child. I think SS probably know more about situations than we as outsiders.

Physical abuse. Child had bruises every week and a broken arm that couldn't be explained. Man in question had already done time for child abuse, SS looked in on the family now then and insisted he was not allowed to be alone with the children at any point, the Mother ignored the ruling. Yes i knew the case as the child was in my class and it was myself and my manager that reported the abuse. Took him setting the family home on fire for the mother to kick him out. New man in the house within weeks. And the merry go round started again. Child never stood a chance in life.

Don't assume SS will always remove a child in danger. Too many times i have been told by SS that it is upsetting for a child to know it is their fault Uncle Bob no longer lives with them and that makes Mummy sad and that sometimes it is better if SS monitor the situation. Many times i have told SS that they are worse than abusers for leaving a child in harms way.

I know @slowquickstep 😔

I was one of those left to see how much more abuse would happen, when I was covered in bruises already. School knew, SS knew, the police knew. Nobody did anything.

The threshold for removal needs to be far, far lower.

The utter inadequacies are just so awful and wrong and unfair.

@Nepmarthiturn I’m so sorry you went through such horrors. They let you down so badly.

@TruffleWaffle absolutely this! Prevention and early intervention is key. Isn't this why Surestart centres were set up? To a) help struggling parents and b) intervene as early as possible if they thought children were being abused.
Unfortunately, like I noticed with our nearest centre, the parents it was aimed at didn't engage with it and were wary of it ( presumably because they thought it was closely aligned with SS)

Yes that is why surestart was set up and a lot of parents wouldn’t engage and now they’re gone there’s nothing of a similar ilk.

Another three just this morning in AIBU alone.

Two with horrible partners whilst pregnant and another with multiple kids even though a dick before having children.

I am so sorry to heat that. I hope your life is now one of safety and contentment. You are right the bar needs to be lowered.

The bar certainly does need lowering to help more children.

Unfortunately, that means the Tory government funding public services.

It won't happen.

I am so sorry to heat that. I hope your life is now one of safety and contentment. You are right the bar needs to be lowered.

Thank you. The emotional wounds can heal but the scars never go away. I am one of the "lucky" ones and have a great life now but it's very distressing that this is still being allowed to happen to children on such a scale. Nothing seems to have changed. It is a choice: with earlier removal far fewer children would suffer or die.

TruffleWaffle absolutely this! Prevention and early intervention is key. Isn't this why Surestart centres were set up? To a) help struggling parents and b) intervene as early as possible if they thought children were being abused.
Unfortunately, like I noticed with our nearest centre, the parents it was aimed at didn't engage with it and were wary of it ( presumably because they thought it was closely aligned with SS)

Saw this happen with my own eyes in an affluent town nearby but where I live, huge depravation and poverty Sure start did wonderful work. My jaw hit the floor when they lost funding

What on earth are you talking about?