How deprived do you have to be to move in a man into your home a day of ‘knowing’ him on Facebook? *[Content warning: concerns child abuse]

There was a referral made by the HV before there was even contact with the murdering fucker.
Makes you wonder what kind of person her father is too.
There are other children involved - poor things

That’s utterly disgusting. A piece of her tongue on his finger. I don’t even know what to say to that.

Let him swing from a rope outside the court. Dirty, evil bastard.

I think you have to be pretty messed up. That said, I’m as middle class as can be - ponies and boarding school, etc. - and my mum got with a man who on their first date, literally, got out his court paperwork over dinner to show her he had been convicted of sexually abusing his daughters. She moved in shortly after and they’ve been married for 15 years now. (We are NC as a result). You can have dangerously low self worth no matter how chavvy or posh you are.

101 separate injuries. That poor child.

These women won't give up their children to SS. These children are there pay packet. Many women go out of there way to have children to provide an income and a roof over their heads. The child is never their top priority. Often these women have had crap upbringings and find having a constant stream of men through the house normal. There is a special place in hell for them.

I read a report that said that the mum had tried to do a Clare's Law application but couldn't because she didn't know his date of birth.

He was living in her home, with her children and she didn't know his date of birth.

The other half of this equation are the men who basically are looking for someone to take them in. Housing for single men, with various issues is few and far between and they prey on woman who are vulnerable to take them in. It is a recipe for disaster.

The state of the house.

Our services are cut to the bone by this government. Home visits, support, kids removed, even before she met this man.

Poor kids, know no different.

That puts to bed any of the “she didn’t understand what she was doing” arguments. If you have the insight to do a CL application, you sure know that moving someone in after one day is mental.

She’s as responsible as he is, IMO.

The sad thing is I am barely shocked by these stories anymore. Horrified of course but shocked, no. So many stories like this now, women moving totally unsuitable men into their homes with their children - and sometimes the reverse too (Arthur LH, Emma Tustin evil step mum etc). Our society is just falling apart in the most deprived areas. The whole xl bully dog attack thing is another example of people literally not giving a shit about other people.

Yep.

I believe that the Clare's Law application was days before Lola died.
She absolutely knew but I do wonder if she was worried that he was going to turn the violence on to her.

My SIL moved a man in with her kids and didn't know his surname. It happens depressingly often.

A very small step would be to stop judging those who are single, be it living on their own or a single parent. The single parent is still often judged more than the other parent, usually a man. Maybe then a few women would not move men into their home without knowing anything about them.

It's not only those who are living on the breadline who seem vulnerable to unsuitable (or worse) men.

I worked in a secondary where a mum came in with ‘stepdad’ and wanted him made no.1 contact and to deal with all issues to do with DC (who had behavioural problems) because she ‘couldn’t cope with it anymore’. They’d been going out a few weeks.
She wasn’t pleased when she was told it wasn’t happening.
I won’t read this case but I am shocked at how women will just hand their kids over to a new man with zero thought.

Maybe she was worried he’d turn on her. Although if I’m honest, it defies ever ounce of parenting instinct that someone would think of themselves while their toddler is being beaten black and blue in front of their eyes.

How did it go for your SIL?

My ex SIL works with vulnerable women she has a girl 22 on her 6th pregnancy all the kids removed I said to her can’t you get her contraception no not if she doesn’t agree I said what about your managers don’t they have an opinion it must be so depressing she said the staff can’t voice reality as in this is a cluster fuck what can we do the managers just remain person centered bullshit

No one judges single parents and expects them to shack up with some randomer just so they aren't single.

My God. The timeline of events are so horrible, I couldn’t even finish reading it.

The man is evil, it goes without saying. But the mum??? What the actual fuck. So many instances where she could have stopped and thought, ‘why does my child keep having injuries around this man?’

Why didn’t she save her child? How did she allow this to happen?! In no way am I trying to take away the blame from the man who actually did this but why did she not protect her child? Surely she knew what was going on?

I’m so tired of hearing about kids being killed by awful people just because the parents trusted the wrong person

the burden of the partner who committed the act is greater than the mum who was reckless. There is proportionality to an act. It's not about gender. IF it were a dad and the child murdered by a woman I would have said the same, but the bitterness and eagerness to find fault and sexism will not have you accept this. You aren't educating us or exposing any hypocrisy you just sound stupid.

What sort of 'mother' prioritises her love life over her child?
She knew he was hurting Lola and did nothing to save her.

@usernamechanged1
He robbed her blind and brought the police to her door for drug dealing (which is when it became apparent that she didn't know his surname) but thankfully didn't hurt her children.

yes have known similar. Mum has mental crisis, goes on a dating spree, seeking distraction with men 'fake' telling her she's hot and loved, dodgy man sneaks in and the victims are the children.

When you have children, it's not just about your own feelings. If you didnt give your chldren that family unit to start with stop chasing it with weirdo online men WTF!!

The time to build a family unit is before you got pregnant. That's when you have the upper hand. If you attract mess, leave men alone and focus on your child and your own self. OK so your life won't end up perfect family but better than ending up dead children. can't believe I have to say this.

What sort of 'mother' prioritises her love life over her child?

Plenty. It’s all over these boards. Not to the same degree, but it’s constant.

Pregnant to men who treat them and their children badly

Kids desperately reacting against a new partner but ‘don’t let them dictate-you deserve to be happy’

Babies with multiple men in a very short time frame.

This situation is just a very extreme example of where this can end.

And I have the same vitriol for men who do the same - it’s just the majority don’t have residence of the children and the dynamic is different.