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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to ask SGB a dirty sex question? Or anyone, really.

370 replies

HappySlapper · 10/07/2010 01:10

Swingers clubs... yay or nay?

Experiences?

I have a friend.... and after much discussion, we have decided to perhaps do this together.

All I want is some pros and cons really. You can judge me if you want, but I won't care

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 12/07/2010 16:13

sgb...I never said diseased

and I beg to differ, you are just as vocal about "hysterical monogamists" as you think I am about this

don't try to deny it...your posts are all over the relationship boards, looking down down your nose at the vanillas

Ladyanonymous · 12/07/2010 16:16

It just seemed you were alluding to the fact that some of those virus's and infections can live outside the body and be caught from places such as jacuzzi's and sofa's - which took me back to the inaccurate days in the 90's when people thought you could catch HIV from loo seats.

Hep B can live outside the body for up to a week but a significant amount of blood would have to actually enter an open wound on someone else for it to be transmitted that way,

Hep C can survive for about 16 hours outside the human body (up to 4 days but that is rare)but is very very difficult to transmit sexually although if you have several different partners the virus is more likely to be transmitted and the odds are raised again when the HCV virus is coupled with HIV.

Experts in the feild of HCV research no longer consider the disease to be sexually transmittable.

I have it myself.

Thrush doesn't live away from the body and it would be extremely rare for herpes to be transmistted in this way.

AnyFucker · 12/07/2010 16:16

Apart from DP, who appears to be talking to herself, this seems to be getting personal between you and I, sgb

I don't want that. I don't imagine you do.

Can we agree to leave it ?

I will let you have the last word if you wish (genuine smile)

daftpunk · 12/07/2010 16:25

Maybe we should some kinda weird threesome..?

y'know..where you two are really at it and i'm just talking to myself..?

AnyFucker · 12/07/2010 16:27

Don't try and rope me into your fantasies, DP !

swingitagain · 12/07/2010 16:36

lol at daft punk's 3some!

Gay40 · 12/07/2010 18:15

I love the way soem people like to enforce their moral code onto others.
If you want to live in a male/female 1-2-1, then just find someone else who does.
If you want to go on a Mexican picnic (look it up) while dressed in nappies, then find someone who does.
Mind, what I've noticed is the people who bang the "my wife/husband and I would never" drum the loudest are usually the most surprised when said husband/wife is discovered being shagged up the backside by a yorkshire terrier.

IFancyKevinELevin · 12/07/2010 18:16
IFancyKevinELevin · 12/07/2010 18:18

I'd be in awe of that Yorkshire Terrier Gay and its amazing ability to balance on a step ladder.

Small cock though, like a barbie lipstick I imagine (she adds hastily)...

AnyFucker · 12/07/2010 18:18

The next door neighbour has a Yorkshire Terrier...

Should I be worried ?

IFancyKevinELevin · 12/07/2010 18:20

Can't do a Mexican picnic dressed in nappies, unless you had cut two holes.

I WIN

AnyFucker · 12/07/2010 18:21

what is a Mexican picnic

is it when you shag each other whilst eating tortillas ?

SolidGoldBrass · 12/07/2010 18:22

You know even if sex with animals wasn't unethical, it wouldn't do for me as I am allergic to them.

DP: Well, BNP voters are on a sliding scale of wankerishness, I suppose. There's the dim, misguided but inherently non-violent ones at one end, and the nasty little shitheads who joined so as to have an excuse to beat people up, at the other.

EleanorHandbasket · 12/07/2010 18:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Gay40 · 12/07/2010 18:23

I reckon the issue over ladders would be the least of your problems.

AnyFucker · 12/07/2010 18:26

Barbie lipstick ! < roars >

Lottaluvin · 12/07/2010 18:30

Can you get HIV through oral sex?
Receiving Oral Sex
If you are receiving oral sex from someone else you are only being exposed to saliva. The concentrations of the virus in saliva are so low that nobody has ever been infected from saliva. Keep in mind, however, that you can get other sexually transmitted diseases (like herpes) by receiving oral sex. However, as far as HIV is concerned, receiving oral sex is extremely low risk.

Giving Oral Sex
If you are giving someone oral sex, there is a risk of infection, since pre-cum, semen, vaginal secretions and menstrual blood can get into your mouth. The more of these body fluids you are exposed to, the greater the risk of infection there would be. If you have any open sores, cuts, abrasions or gum disease in your mouth, the virus can get into your bloodstream. The risk is less than if you had vaginal or anal intercourse, but the risk is real, and transmission can occur. There have already been reported cases of HIV infection specifically through giving oral sex. In addition to HIV, while giving oral sex, you could also be at risk for other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) including herpes and gonorrhea and even syphilis.

Now, when we're talking about the levels of risk when you give someone oral sex, several variables actually determine the true level of risk. Let's look now, for example, at the risks of giving a man oral sex:

Both pre-cum and semen can contain high concentrations of HIV. Semen, however, is a riskier body fluid, because you are normally exposed to a greater quantity of semen as compared to pre-cum. Does that mean that pre-cum is totally safe? No! But we can say that the more infectious body fluid you are exposed to, the greater the likelihood of transmission. So, you can become infected by pre-cum alone, but you are much more likely to become infected if the guy cums in your mouth, since you're then exposed to a much greater quantity of his body fluid.

Of course, the virus must also be able to get into your bloodstream through some type of open sore, abrasion, gum disease, etc. The more openings that HIV has to get into your bloodstream, the greater your risk would be. So the more cuts or open sores in your mouth, the greater the risk would be. Or if a person has gum disease, the more severe the gum disease is, the greater the risk would be.

Without ejaculation, there still is some risk of getting infected through giving oral sex, but the risk would be much greater if the man ejaculated in your mouth. So rather than saying high risk vs. low risk, it's actually a spectrum of risk.

No exposure to pre-cum or semen: No risk as far as HIV is concerned.

Exposure to pre-cum only: Low risk (but still technically possible). The more pre-cum you get exposed to, the greater the risk would be.

Exposure to both pre-cum and semen: Risky, especially if there are cuts/open sores in the mouth. The more semen you're exposed to, and the more cuts/abrasions/gum disease in the mouth, the greater the risk. But overall, although risky, it is still generally considered less of a risk than unprotected intercourse.
So again, we're talking about a spectrum of risk. This is why there will be no absolute answer of high vs. low risk of giving oral sex. But we can say that HIV has now been found to be transmitted by giving oral sex especially if there is ejaculation but not receiving oral sex.

And by the way, a very important thing to remember is that there doesn't necessarily have to be ejaculation to be infected with other STDs. For example, if you give a man oral sex, and that man has gonorrhea, you could get infected with gonorrhea in your throat, whether the man ejaculates or not. Gonorrhea can cause a discharge that can be very infectious if it gets into the throat (or penis/rectum/vagina) of another person. So things that may be lower risk for HIV (giving oral sex without ejaculation) may be high-risk for other diseases, like gonorrhea.

Regarding the risks of giving a woman oral sex:

Keep in mind that if you are giving a woman oral sex, the exact same principles apply as described above, that is, the more vaginal secretions or menstrual blood that you get in your mouth, and the more cuts and open sores you have in your mouth, the greater the chance of infection.

veryconfusedandupset · 12/07/2010 18:33

The only pressure to behave in a particular way in relation to sex that I have ever experienced is the insidious, persistant pressure to be monogamous - personally I find the idea of a "swingers club" quite exciting, though I doubt I'd be brave enough to go to one.

EleanorHandbasket · 12/07/2010 18:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Gay40 · 12/07/2010 18:34

And as we know from the amount of people who can't be monogamous (ie the majority) it clearly isn't natural.

IFancyKevinELevin · 12/07/2010 18:36

Gonorrhea of the throat

Thanks Lotta am seriously regretting finishing off my son's Mr Whippy with raspberry sauce now.

blinder · 12/07/2010 18:40

I used to see swinging as a harmless hobby though not for me as (like DawnTigga) I have trouble sharing .

But this thread has revolted me so much that I have grown to really dislike the dea of swinging. I think it was SGB's 7month pregnant threesome that finally turned me. I'm not sure why because I think consenting adults can do what they like, sex is natural and no harm done. But the thought of heavy pregnancy being a turn on for some other woman's partner has really turned my stomach to the extent that I feel sick.

I guess I wouldn't cut it at an orgy.

AnyFucker · 12/07/2010 18:46

Yes, blinder

I am struggling to understand that too

I am struggling to imagine how I would feel to be indulging someone's fantasy (that wasn't mine or my husband's)

I think I would find that witnessing that particular couple's sexual excitement would make me feel rather sick to my stomach

Note the word "witnessing". I choose not to witness it...works for me

PfftTheMagicDragon · 12/07/2010 18:50

But lots of men find pregnant women a turn on, I don't think that's an obscure fetish or anything.

blinder · 12/07/2010 19:01

Well my DP found me attractive when I was pregnant but only as a result of the loved up ness I think. It wasn't because I had a foetus inside me. He wasn't turned on by other pregnant women. He didn't want to have sex with another woman because she was pregnant.

All very Oedipal. Yuk yuk yuk.