To think that women with more than two children are better mothers?

[kitpuss]

I think know the answer to this really but am so tortured about this I could do with some help to put this issue to bed.

I have 2 children, and keep torturing myself about whether to have a third.

I like the idea of three, but find two really hard work and think that three would just be too much for me to cope with.

But then I think about all those people who have more than two, and think they must be better mothers than me if they can contemplate having more, and that they must love their children more to think that having more is worth all the potential stress.

Does that make any sense? I am making myself totally miserable with this, thinking that because I don't want another I must not be as good a mother as all those who did go on to have more than two. I start thinking that if I was a better mother of course I would have another because all the stressful things about having children would be outweighed by the joy that they bring.

I know I am a good mother really but I keep making these ridiculous comparisons that are just making me feel permanently down, and I know I am stopping myself enjoying this time when my children are small.

A lady with 7 children once told me

'when I had 2 children they took up every minute of my time.So I figured that however many I had they couldn't possibly take any more time than that'

Like what katiestar says.

My mum had 6 kids and was a crap mother. We were physically and mentally abused (not horribly...smacks regularly, put down and ridiculed daily, set against one another frequently), so quantity and quality are not linked.

I have one child. She is beautiful, well behaved, bright and good company. I take FULL responsibility for this (clearly it's not nature, but nurture - she laughs hysterically and runs to hide...so not down to me) but I do consider myself a very, very good mother.