to have said this? I've been told it was.

[Rosieeo]

We attended the wedding of a friend yesterday. It was lovely, but there was a little incident that has annoyed me and I want some perspective.

DS is 16 months now and is at the 'must look at and then touch everything ... and then I may break it' stage, so I spend most of my time following him around to make sure he doesn't break it.

The wedding was at a hotel with lovely gardens, complete with beer-garden type tables. People were lovely, adorable to DS and DD, who I (of course) think are pretty adorable too.

DS trotted over to a group of women in their mid to late twenties and did the rounds. I knew one of them and was saying hello when one of the women sneered 'Please don't let him touch me, this is a new dress'. She seemed really unpleasant so I led DS away to the other side of the table and said something along the lines of 'Well, this is what I spend weddings doing nowadays, stopping toddlers from eating things off of the floor' to the acquaintance.

The 'don't touch me woman' piped up 'Thanks for giving me another reason why I will never want or will have children'.

Arg! The boy may be busy and sticky but he is fantastic! I said 'Maybe that's the best thing for everyone', said goodbye to acquaintance and walked off with DS.

Later on that night, acquaintance cornered me in the toilet and told me that 'don't touch me' woman had been in tears all night and was devastated that I'd implied that she would not be a good mother.

Now I feel guilty as hell. Was IBU?

YANBU
was she Liz Jones of Daily Fail fame?

full marks for very restrained quick fire comeback

If she can't take it she shouldn't give it. She had no qualms in saying something extremely upsetting to you, tantamount to :"Your child has put me off having children".

I only wish I were as quick thinking as you.

I'm impressed with your quick come back and you are not being unreasonable. With the tears in the loo thing she now has the moral high ground and everyone thinks you've been mean. So in the end she won that battle unfortunately.

''Thanks for giving me another reason why I will never want or will have children'.

That's fighting talk imo - yanbu and if she makes a habit of making other people feel crap about their children and being precious about her appearence she won't be a good mother.

YANBU excellent come back, the kind of thing i always think of saying hours later. silly moo.

When I got to the bit where you said she'd been crying all night, I laughed. What a stupid cow. I think you should feel proud you made her cry with such a small remark.

YANBU

you were both rude, but she started it

don't start it if you can't take it, so YANBU

< waves at J...hey, girly )>

YANBU - she sounds like she was drunk, feeling sorry for herself, and silently fuming that she hadn't had the last word, so was sobbing to friends.

She shouldn't be rude to people, and saying effectively your child has made me realise I don't want any of my own is rude and unnecessary.

Stuff her

She started it, I'm just impressed with your retort. She shouldn't have been bitchy, neither should you really, but if I were you I'd still be seething but with a bit of pride at my quick wit.

To make such a meal of it with crying etc she either has ishoos which anything could have triggered regardless of you, or she was pissed and a little unhinged, perhaps a bit of both.

I read it as 'your description of life with children has put me off' not 'your child has put me off'.

YABU - is it possible that the 'that's another reason I don't want kids' actually meant 'God - what a boring way to spend your time at a wedding' rather than directed at your DS?

And I wouldn't want a sticky fingered toddler coming towards me when I was all dressed up either.

I think you took it far too personally.

X posts Trillian! Just put it sooo much better than me!

YANBU -she was asking for it , i am in awe at you!

Oh and I have no patience at all with the ' you may think your children are lovely but they shouldn't be inflicted on other people' school of thought.
Our children are part of our society - they are the adults of tomorrow. The children you may sneer at today in parks or museums or trains or shops are the people who will in ten or twenty years be fixing your car and selling you a new bra or removing your appendix. We hold other people's children in contempt at our peril.
I would take my children anywhere and I've tried to teach them how to behave and how to talk to adults without being a pest. I expect adults to not be pests either and give my children the respect they deserve.
Dh and I once met two little girls on a beach when we were out with our two. They were pretty smug and bumptious imo but we talked and talked to them for as long as they wished and then signed huge sighs of relief when they decamped back to their parents. That's what we would have done with smug and bumptious adults - why would you treat children any differently just because they're shorter than you?

No you weren't. As she didn't want kids I don't see why she would care anyway. Nasty sort.

I don't think she has the moral high ground or has won the battle by bawling in the loos. I'd think she was a pillock and if she was my friend I'd tell her so.

You did and said right. YANBU - what an absolute IGNORANT bitch.

Nah - she provoked you and is now acting the big fecking victim. She was very rude about YOUR kid.

You don't need to know her any longer.

"I don't think you needed to retort 'Well, this is what I spend weddings doing nowadays, stopping toddlers from eating things off of the floor' as that would instantly rile anybody up"

THat isn't a remark to rile. That's a self-deprecating humourous remark - ie 'this is what my life has come to'. She is a fool

She was responding to that remark ...not the child

She sounds like she thought she was being hysterically funny {hmm] and then didn't like it when it came back and bit her on the bum.

I don't especially like other people's children, chocolate smears on my frock or not, I just don't much like 'em, but just how precious do you have to be to think a frock is more important than a toddler having a toddle round, or indeed say such a horrid thing afterwards.

Your reply was ace! Good on you. Presume she was crying because drink had been taken rather than because she was truly upset. Daft apeth.

If the OP's remark was a self-depracating 'this i what my life has come to' then the other woman's remark could have been a light-hearted 'rather you than me'.

Equally the OP's remark could have been a martyrish 'stop moaning you have it easy' and the other woman's could have been a bitchy 'you made the choice to have children so suck it up'.

Interpreting in a better or worse light works both ways.

YANBU. She was breathtakingly rude to you, without any provocation.

The bitchiest people often have the thinnest skins, maybe they aren't used to people answering them back.