to have said this? I've been told it was.

[Rosieeo]

We attended the wedding of a friend yesterday. It was lovely, but there was a little incident that has annoyed me and I want some perspective.

DS is 16 months now and is at the 'must look at and then touch everything ... and then I may break it' stage, so I spend most of my time following him around to make sure he doesn't break it.

The wedding was at a hotel with lovely gardens, complete with beer-garden type tables. People were lovely, adorable to DS and DD, who I (of course) think are pretty adorable too.

DS trotted over to a group of women in their mid to late twenties and did the rounds. I knew one of them and was saying hello when one of the women sneered 'Please don't let him touch me, this is a new dress'. She seemed really unpleasant so I led DS away to the other side of the table and said something along the lines of 'Well, this is what I spend weddings doing nowadays, stopping toddlers from eating things off of the floor' to the acquaintance.

The 'don't touch me woman' piped up 'Thanks for giving me another reason why I will never want or will have children'.

Arg! The boy may be busy and sticky but he is fantastic! I said 'Maybe that's the best thing for everyone', said goodbye to acquaintance and walked off with DS.

Later on that night, acquaintance cornered me in the toilet and told me that 'don't touch me' woman had been in tears all night and was devastated that I'd implied that she would not be a good mother.

Now I feel guilty as hell. Was IBU?

She was a dick and rude.

YANBU but also rude.

I'd have just sighed and done but then that's me, slow to think of the comebacks!

Well said Northanlurker! YANBU, if her initial comments hadn't exposed her as a precious moo, then the crying in the toilets certainly did. Pathetic. Well done you for holding a mirror up to her, she obviously didn't like what she saw but tough.

YANBU, and you should not feel bad about her crying in the loos. I have a sister like this, feels she can say anything to anyone, but is very quick to take offence if anyone pulls her up on it.

She was grandstanding and expecting to have the last word. You put the kybosh on that, so she sulked.

YANBU although I'm of your comeback, I'm in the 'oh i should of said' 3 days later camp!!!

YANBU in fact you were way more restrained than I would have been! Lets face it her tears could have been about any number of other issues.

For a start she'd probably had way too much to drink. I have been known to get over emotional about silly things while pissed as a fart

It was immature and unnecessary for the friend of "can't touch this" lady to corner you like that- dunno about you but I'd have been mortified if a mate of mine had told a total stranger I'd bawled like a big baby coz they had taken me down a peg or two. Bet she felt a right tit the next day

brilliant retort yanbu

I agree Northernlurker. And I also think OP was trying hard not to let her child be a pest by following him round making sure he didn't damage anything. I know that one, I've been there. She wasn't letting him run amok expecting everyone to love him.

It was probably the wedding that set the woman off, perhaps she wants to get married or something. She was just blaming you as the trigger as you had a slight run in with her. Bet that's the underlying cause.

I thought I was the only one reading this completely differently until Orm commented. I can't see how it was even a retort aimed at her, it was just a comment at your friend in what was probably an uncomfortable situation for you.

I agree, she sounds vile and attention-seeky and I don't think you've done anything wrong.

I think if people don't want to have unpleasant things said to them, they should avoid saying unpleasant things to other people.

Don't you dare apologise! I'd be telling them straight - if she makes nasty comments, she can expect nothing else from me.

Are you supposed to just allow people to say what they like because you should protect their feelings while they trample all over yours?

Fuck that for a game of soldiers!

If you give it, you take it. With knobs on. If that makes you cry then you should keep your own mouth shut in future.

OK, I'm trying to be objective. I suppose her 'thanks for giving me another reason* remark could have been meant in a jokey way. If it was, it didn't sound it. It sounded like a catty remarks that was meant to get laughs from others.

I could have misinterpreted it and taken it as a insult against DS when it wasn't but I don't think I did. I let the first one go but thought that was OTT, even if she did say 'please'.

I'm not normally quite so quick btw, don't know what came over me!

Excellent retort

YADNBU - if she can't take it she shouldn't dish it out.

If we're interpreting remarks in a better light it probably is better if women who don't want children don't have them. So OP wasn't BU to express that theoretically uncontroversial sentiment.

Ooh yanbu. What a great comeback and you didn't think of it at 3am after the event either. She shouldn't be handing it out if she can't take it back.

If you had left your dc to run about causing mayhem she might have had a bit of a point (although she sounds positively acerbic imo) But you didn't and were following him about and preventing disasters, so why why did she have to be so nasty?

Of course now I am wondering about children at weddings....>

she didn't think her comments had any impact on you

your comment wsa justified

I totally think YANBU!! Well done on the quick retort!

'lol!@junglist

'Don't worry, Primark stuff washes really well' '

LOL- pr 'It's OK, laods of them on ebay for a tenner, got outbid myself though, wouldn't go opvver a fiver'

No I woudln't eitehr but it's ncie to think of these things

Were you BU? Probably not very, but generally i think it's better to keep these things in your head- you never know if she's just been told she can't have kids or whatever. However, she shouldn't be dishing out what she cannot take so although not the best thing to respond with, not cruel either.

And I suspect the crying was preceeded by much gin, kissing old relatives and quite possibly reminiscingabout how she could have been the bride if only she'd taken her chances with the groom....... every wedding ahs one.

Doesn't matter if shes just been told she can't have kids/mums died/lost her job/insert another reason here, thats no excuse for her to be rude, she should be the one apologising not the OP.

I am not saying she should apologise- just looking at it from a different angle, why she may have had the mindset.

of course no apology needed.

Ohhh - I dunno - I think your last comment was way out of line but I can understand the provocation. Her reaction with all the crying a bit OTT but I think you could have shown her up without being quite so personal. Are you likely to bump into her again ? At the first christening for example ?

I think it is important lesson for her, if you are sooo thin skined the slightest insult will upset you, then it's best not to go round saying rude things to other people - and yes, children are people.

She was being a rude cow - you were rude back, she's cried her eyes out then maybe next time she'll remember to be a bit more polite.

YANBU

OP, I love your comeback and I bet she was pissed, mascara all over her pretty dress whilst in the toilets crying because Nathan/John/Steve hates her and she will never meet the one.

A person who is so self absorbed at this point in their lives is likely to become a really crap parent. Sadly.

she was a prat...a prat

YANBU at all, she most likely make a crap parent