to have said this? I've been told it was.

[Rosieeo]

We attended the wedding of a friend yesterday. It was lovely, but there was a little incident that has annoyed me and I want some perspective.

DS is 16 months now and is at the 'must look at and then touch everything ... and then I may break it' stage, so I spend most of my time following him around to make sure he doesn't break it.

The wedding was at a hotel with lovely gardens, complete with beer-garden type tables. People were lovely, adorable to DS and DD, who I (of course) think are pretty adorable too.

DS trotted over to a group of women in their mid to late twenties and did the rounds. I knew one of them and was saying hello when one of the women sneered 'Please don't let him touch me, this is a new dress'. She seemed really unpleasant so I led DS away to the other side of the table and said something along the lines of 'Well, this is what I spend weddings doing nowadays, stopping toddlers from eating things off of the floor' to the acquaintance.

The 'don't touch me woman' piped up 'Thanks for giving me another reason why I will never want or will have children'.

Arg! The boy may be busy and sticky but he is fantastic! I said 'Maybe that's the best thing for everyone', said goodbye to acquaintance and walked off with DS.

Later on that night, acquaintance cornered me in the toilet and told me that 'don't touch me' woman had been in tears all night and was devastated that I'd implied that she would not be a good mother.

Now I feel guilty as hell. Was IBU?

YANBU .
And crying in the toilets ,weddings ...anyone else thinking a little alcohol might have loosened the tears ?

Of course YANBU. I expect the woman in question was a bit hammered tired and emotional by the evening, and focused on your comment as an excuse to sob drunkenly into her rose whilst being pandered to by her friends assess her life choices and ambitions..

Although Y may be B a bit U to say that she "sneered" her comment, when it may have been genuine panic that her very expensive new pale frock was about to be covered in sticky toddler prints...

Sorry but YABU. You cannot expect other people to be as enamoured with your DC as you clearly are.

The idea of having to spend your day stopping a child eating discarded food is a bit grim if you have not had children and so I don't think her comment was that bad.

And don't get me started with people who think I should find their grubby/sticky/snotty toddler pawing at my dress charming...

yabu. As my old dad would say, two wrongs don't make a right.

I think it depends how it was said, but that works on both sides of the convo.

I think she made an off the cuff comment and has taken yours to heart as she does really want children.

YANBU

She shouldn't have been so horribel if she couldn't handle the comeback.

YOu were not being unreasonable in light of her being a bitch. She is entitled to her opinions but I think she said it to hurt.

Sounds like she may have had a little too many wedding refreshments! Never mind, it may be that actually she does want children but isn't the position to have any, and that following tears etc, may wake up tomorrow and decide to do something about it (new relationship, single IUI etc) or she may just wake up with a hangover andn not give a monkeys...

I don't think this one needs overanalysing, really.

I'd say she was about 27-28. She also seemed very lairy, but rude and aggressive with it.

In my defence, DS didn't actually touch her, I stopped him before he got there.

I didn't want to make her cry, I just thought she was so rude; so my child is another reason you don't want kids? All he did was walk around

I was just so annoyed.

Not everyone loves kids, no, but there is absolutely no need to make bitchy 'And that is why I shall never have kids' type remarks.

She got what she deserved.

Rule in life: Don't serve it up if you can't take it back.

nancy the woman should have kept her comments to herself even if she found the thought of stopping toddlers eating food off the floor grim.

YANBU! I hate it when people make nasty/spiteful/thoughtless comments and then are surprised or upset when they receive one back. If you can't take it, don't give it...

I think you were a bit unkind.

If someone felt the need to corner you later, and not in a 'god,she's a nightmare isnt she?' way,then maybe you are underplaying what/how you said (it)? TBH Her first comment was totally acceptable and her second wasn't, which makes me wonder how you really reacted to the first one...

On reflection...I guess whether YABU really does depend on whether you misinterpreted her tone initially, and whether you were being a bit defensive about perceived criticism of your DS and overreacted a teensy bit. It all depends on how it was said, really. You don't know, do you - she might have just discovered she's infertile or had a recent miscarriage or something.

Or it might be as simple as my previous post!

yabu
much as you adore your dc's not everyone will want them arround.
then you were nasty...

"I wouldn't worry about spoiling that dress" would have been what came to my mind 15 minutes later

YANBU - I don't have kids (yet) but wouldn't say anything like that as it's just bloody rude.

Fair enough worrying about marks on your outfit but one can simply move out the way. I doubt your DS was making a sticky fingered bee-line for her (but I wish he was!)

And well done on the come-back - I'd be thinking of something similar about 3 days later

why does it matter whether she would be good or not at a job she doesn't want?

and no you were not out of order. with an attitude like that there is no way she would ever find someone willing to procreate with her anyway.

you were a darn sight nicer than i would have been.

I would have ordered a red wine and then slipped over right next to her, making sure it went straight down the front of the stupid stuck up twunt

The 'this is what I do at weddings' remark was aimed at the woman I knew, not at 'don't touch me' woman.

Oh dear, I feel a bit rotten now.

Silly cow (her, not you). Of course she doesn't want sticky fingers all over her. I don't want sticky fingers all over me (but I get them!) but there was no need to be so rude. A simple request to keep your ds away would have sufficed, there was no need to get snotty. She shouldn't dish it out if she can't take it back. In tears all night over your remark is pathetic. How old was she, 7?

lol!@junglist

'Don't worry, Primark stuff washes really well'

YANBU.

I don't think the OP was assuming everyone should be as taken with her children as she is - she was careful to ensure he wasn't getting into mischief, and the other woman was needlessly rude, twice, so deserved a retort. A resounding YANBU from me.

grumpypants I bumped into her in the toilets and she made a point of telling me. She didn't seek me out as such.

Am loving Junglist and Gigantaur's suggestions though!