I'm not against working Mums but this is going too far.

[Intefering]

Name changed regular.

A friend of mine has 3 young children with a partner in the military. He is due to leave in 3 or 4 years time I think.

Said friend has told me that she will be re-joining the Navy when her youngest starts reception in 2 years time, several reasons why, money issues, she's worried that after 8 years being a SAHM she will be unemployable, she loves the Navy and nothing else career wise interests her.

AIBU to suggest that this is a ridiculous idea?! I doubt she's considered all the time away from her DC, how her DH will cope picking up the slack at home on his own. Yes she may have loved the Navy but that's behind her and she should concentrate on her responsibilities as a wife and mother.

I'm trying to advise her as her friend but I can't see past her incredible selfishness, how can she have all these kids just to abandon them? She's worried that in 18 years time when all the kids have left home she'll be in a miserable job having watched life pass her by, I really want to tell her that she should of thought of that before getting pregnant.

AIBU and if I am can someone tell me how this will work because I really can't see it.

Op. I agree with you. Going back to work having raised children is one thing. Going off for extended periods of time , withouth seeing your kids is very hard for me to get my head around. I think it is selfish, and i find it really amusing on here that you are castigated for suppossedly being judgemental.
Pity more of us are not..
IMO, people accuse you of being judgemental, when they dont like what you are saying.
Tough really...

'I've come to the conclusion that I'm completely out of touch with the modern world.'

Well that's the first sensible thing you've said OP.

It's YOUR children I feel sorry for, being raised to believe that dads are lesser parents than mums, and that mums should have fewer career options than dads.

I hope you don't have a daughter. What if she one day wants to have a career which involves travelling? She's being raised to feel bad about that. And you are probably screwing up your children's relationship with their dad, by bringing them up to feel he is less important than you are. But hey, never mind, if it makes you feel good eh?

do you extend that ire to dads in AF.prolonged periods away and still love their children.certainly doesnt make them lesser parents at all

I think i've heard t all now,- a career which involves travelling.FFs what next!

"FFs what next! "

Ooh I don;t know. Women getting the vote maybe?

Please tell me you are joking curry?

PMSL Orm

Not even a teeny bit orm...

Not even going to bother reading the rest of this thread. I know from the first page that YABU.

Just want to pick up on one point (although i'm sure i won't be the first!):

"It IS different for Dads though, they can go away for months at a time, Mums are needed more, it's nature."

I lost my Mum when I was quite young (my brother even younger) and I really resent the idea that Dads are not good enough. My Dad did an absolutely amazing job looking after us completely on his own. At least your friend will be coming back!

Oh and one more thing. Before that, when i was very young (ie from birth to a few years old) my Dad was in the Navy and my Mum was a SAHM. I never thought then, or since, that my Dad had "abandoned us". So why would it have been any different if it had been my Mum?

Curry What do you mean?! Do you think sher daughter shouldn't have a career involving travelling? Confused....

I find the idea of describing working for the military as a travel opportunity hilarious.
go girl! afghiastan awaits

PosieParker "switching childcare arrangements for dcs that have been nursed and cared for by one parent to then have the very real possibility of her disappearing for 9 months would be horrific. "

Horrific is a word that ought to be reserved for using where something is, well, um, horrifying. Like death say. Or vampires.

Try disruptive, upsetting, or even discombobulating if you're feeling fancy.

dh felt very abandoned by his dad being in the navy, it has massively affected their relationship, so it can have an affect, I don't understand how any parent would choose to be away from their child. mother or father, but that is how i live my life,

discombobulating is a fabulous word -i t should be used more often

Discombobulating!! There's a word I don't use often enough!

Then you misunderstood that post Curry

Violet meant any job which involved travelling.

But you agree witn the OP so it's no wonder you didn't get it!

Ok, so the solution is we do not allow parents in the armed forces.

Well, bang goes our national security! I would place bets on the fact that 80% of our armed forces are parents.

X-posts T&F

Well said honeymon. Have no idea why anyone would join the services, and actually choose to be away from home/family.

this is quite cool is shows where the RN have current deployments

Interfering - you suggesting training to be a nurse - do you have any idea what that involves? The studying, balancing earlies, lates, nights, weekends? She may be around more in person, but such a move would be heavily demanding and her DH will still end up doing a great deal of childcare. Would this not, in your eyes, be 'detrimental' to the children as well? seriously, you have said that part of this is resentment and I think you need to deal with this - are you truly happy with the choices you have made? Honest question - not a dig

I completely understood her post, and yes i completly agree with her. You dont. Good for you!
It'what makes the world go around.

Curryfreak

There is so much wrong with your comment it's tricky to know where to start.

But how about with this.... naff off, there's a love.

earlier comment about 'people joining Forces'

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