To feel annoyed trees were cut down to print this anti-breastfeeding article

[cherrymama]

In the latest edition of Mother and Baby magazine (I bought it for the free gift) the deputy editor has an article about breastfeeding. In it she says that she "couldn't be fagged" to breastfeed and that breastfeeding her newborn using breasts that had previously been used for sex would feel "creepy". And that even the health benefits of breastfeeding "wouldn't induce her to stick her nipple in her bawling baby's mouth."

I think her attitude is horrible! I understand many people try to breastfeed and don't manage, but to say that it is creepy is another thing.

Fair enough. I don't disagree that there is a loooot of money to be made out of ff.

I do think some people who are pro bf get an awful lot out of promoting it too, and I don't mean that as a criticism in anyway.

Thinking of people like tiktok who give their time for free and willingly on here and know that they have helped someone to b/f (and I was one of the people she helped, incidentally).

Oh absolutely. I guess it is just the way that terms like "BF Propaganda" and "BF Nazi" are thrown out. It always reads to me like the person using the term thinks that the pro-BF person has an ulterior motive rather than a positive one.

Magazines can't directly promote formula for newborns so perhaps these sort of articles are a way of appealing to their advertisers.

BF is free. You wouldn't expect a magazine about luxury cars to be writing about how great cycling is.

I'm not stating this as fact by the way, just guessing.

I agree about those terms actually Morloth - I think the implication is that those people (whoever the hell they are) just enjoy making other people feel shit.

I have seen that term thrown at tiktok on here quite regularly.

Oh dear, I just misread your post didn't I?

Were you agreeing that the terms are appropriate or that they are used to imply that people who are trying to help/advocating BF for good reasons are trying to make people feel shit?

Second glass of rose...

Yep, I agree on the second point, I don't believe the terms are appropriate!

Hopeforthebest - you linked to a Times article. The quotations in there were refuted and denied by the Prof, who made a formal complaint to the Press Council about how he had been misrepresented - if you do a further search you will find out more details.

ticktockclock (wish you had a different name ) - no one should judge you or anyone for formula feeding, and I never have and never will. I think people's reasons for formula feeding are varied, and may be connected with choice, or circumstance, or physiology, or bad luck, or misinfo - and no one can tell and even if they can, they should not judge.

I respect people's experience, and don't make horrible comments about formula or the act of formula feeding - I would expect the same respect from people who write about breastfeeding. That, I think, is one of the reasons why this article in Mother&Baby is so unpleasant - there's not one ounce of respect in it

This is chiming with me because I was at a BBQ the other weekend, breastfeeding DS, when a (very lovely) woman said 'oh I bottlefed, just the thought of breastfeeding turned my stomach, it wasn't for me.'

I didn't get out any 'breastfeeding propaganda', just mumbled something about choices etc.

But it made me feel really sad for her - not that she FF, but that she had such (to me) strange feelings about breasts and what they're for. It seems she is not alone.

Anyway, this article. Whenever I get cross about DH (a journalist) tells me that columnists are paid to "tickle their readers' nipples" to get a big ole reaction. I guess this one is doing so deliberately (because that's what 'funbags - bleurghhh - are for!)

agree re lots of stupid advice given out re bf. i asked a friend back along how she had got her ds (couple months younger than dd, now 8.5 months) to sleep through the night when she had claimed she was ebf. 'oh easy' she said 'just give dd a bottle of formula before bed' funnily enough she had to stop bf her ds because their 'wasn't enough milk'. - don't mean this in a judgy way - she really beleives the above because, i assume, she has been 'reliably' informed by a hv/gp/mw - i assume

Oh and if another person tells me 16-week-old DS needs formula top-ups because "he's such a big hungry baby" (he is HUGE), I will scream.

As an aside - Tiktok, you are a legend in this house. You helped me get over problems feeding DD years back and I went on to BF her for 18 months. And I'm going strong with DS, who is a BF porker. Thanks!

TheOldestCat "Oh and if another person tells me 16-week-old DS needs formula top-ups because "he's such a big hungry baby" (he is HUGE), I will scream."

I get this with DS2 (how to they think he got so big in the first place?). Very strange.

Agree, sungirltan. Think that's very common.

Morloth - it's strange isn't it...?

BF baby 'too small'? Give it some formula!
BF baby 'so big'? Must need formula!

Hmmm.

The people who really blow my mind are the ones that comment on his size, then make the formula comment, then ask how much he weighs, to which I respond "I don't know, I am not getting him weighed", they then freak out and say something along the lines of "but how do you know he is growing then? you should get him checked he might need more food".

Um, the fat rolls are a bit of a give away, as are the 6-9 month sized clothes (he is 12 weeks).

Yes, that sounds familiar!

My DD was, and still is, very wee. People thought she needed formula because she was 'too' small.

DS was big; 2lbs heavier at birth; and hoofed it up the percentile lines at an alarming rate for the first 2 months or so; weighing a stone by the time he was 6 weeks. Cue lots of comments about how big he was and questions about whether my milk would be 'enough' for him; HVs saying 'are you sure he's exclusively BF?' etc.

Social conditioning at its best.

I got the "are you sure?" comment from the MW as well!

My HV vaguely mentioned concern re "overfeeding" with DS, who was another breastfed Goliath. I don't think she believed he was really just bf ... don't think you can overfeed with bf can you? He was mahoosive though.

Anyway. Thread has gone another way now but I still think that article was horrid ... not because I want to judge FF, not at all, but because I'd rather people could try to be respectful and supportive of one another's choices; and that article sounds so incredibly sneering and disparaging of breastfeeding, to no purpose. Fine, so she formula fed, no problem with that, but what's with the attitude? Pshaw.

oh and I hope it doesn't sound smug to talk about our big BF babies ... in fact I was a bit self-conscious about DS's size for a long time, not parading him around or anything. Looking back now that I am more confident, I'm glad he was healthy but it just goes to show, even someone who is bf with no probs can be made to feel doubtful about their choices.

I am not smug, just gobsmacked at the scale he is built on. DS1 was long and lean, DS2 is long and round.

Haven't done anything different with them really, purely down to what they were going to be.

The article does seem out of place with M&B mag generally. It definitely would have upset me if I had read it when I'd just had my DD as I struggled with BF (and was completely devastated about it after switching to FF).

tinkle that's another reason why this article is so unpleasant - people like you who struggle and who end up switching in some distress really don't want to have their experience lumped in with someone who thinks breastfeeding is 'creepy' and who decided she 'couldn't be fagged'....she's not speaking 'for' formula feeders at all, as far as I can see.

Breastfeeding CAN feel creepy, isn't for everyone and the scare tactics used by the pro-BF fanatics are worrying and upsetting to many mums. DS is the tallest in his class and on the G&T register so don't give me that rubbish about obesity, stunted growth or low intelligence. Grrrrr, it makes me so cross when the holier-than-thou lot denigrate the choices of a vast number of mums!

Anecdotal evidence doesn't change the fact that breast milk is preferable to formula from a health point of view. Glad your son is doing so well though desanimaux

'pro-BF fanatics' are usually people who who want to help women to BF and to help improve BF rates generally. As a general rule, their intention is certainly not to scare, worry or upset people.

And I still don't really understand this use of creepy. Just seems a strange word to use in this context.

exactly olifin - being pro-BF is not (necessarily) holier-than-thou. most BF support workers, do not try to make FFers feel bad! I do understand though, that there are some people who do criticise any use of FF. that's just as harmful as criticising BFing IMHO. it gives people who BF a bad name as we're seen as BFing Nazis or weird hippies or whatever. that really upsets me TBH.

I'm training to be a peer supporter and our trainer was very clear that, e.g., if a BFing mum wants to use FF as well, we don't have a go, we support them just as much.

When a mum chooses to FF from the start it's seen as the mum's 'fault' - she must be lazy or selfish. But I think the choice is more a symptom of the FFing culture, so criticising individual mums is totally counterproductive.

It was really silly to publish the article in that tone, but I don't blame her for feeling BFing is creepy, because breasts are seen as sexual by society, not as baby-feeders!