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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel annoyed trees were cut down to print this anti-breastfeeding article

607 replies

cherrymama · 21/06/2010 14:16

In the latest edition of Mother and Baby magazine (I bought it for the free gift) the deputy editor has an article about breastfeeding. In it she says that she "couldn't be fagged" to breastfeed and that breastfeeding her newborn using breasts that had previously been used for sex would feel "creepy". And that even the health benefits of breastfeeding "wouldn't induce her to stick her nipple in her bawling baby's mouth."

I think her attitude is horrible! I understand many people try to breastfeed and don't manage, but to say that it is creepy is another thing.

OP posts:
honeydragon · 21/06/2010 14:53

having read the article myself ... it is offensive to both bf AND ff mothers. I concluded that in a few years her child will feel like an inconvinience to her mother regardless of how she was fed,due to the whole articles tone. The comment that another mother came up to her, asked her if she was feeding her baby breastmilk, and then accused her of poisoning her baby seems a bit to me.

I debated complaing to mother and baby as I could not see who the article was aimed at, at all.

Original poster
cherrymama · 21/06/2010 14:54

I wrote them a letter... wonder if they'll publish it, or any of the others they'll undoubtedly get complaining about the feature.

OP posts:
EricNorthmansmistress · 21/06/2010 14:56

funbags

carolondon · 21/06/2010 15:19

I feel sory for her baby. From the sounds of it things are all about her. She wants her body back, wants to reserve her breasts for sex (what does she think breats are actually for?) what about what her baby wants and needs.
Like others i am supportive of every woman to choose how to feed their baby but surely when babies are tiny you need to put their needs before your own and she sounds really selfish and self absorbed.

carolondon · 21/06/2010 15:20

Also i thought it was pregnancy that made your boobs droop rather than breast feeding?

AhickeyfromKenickie · 21/06/2010 15:28

What I don't understand is how she struggles to make the distinction between her breasts being used for feeding her baby, and "for sex". The feeling of a bubby sucking on your nipple is so far removed from that of your DP/H, where's the confusion? But then again we live in a country where women are ostracised for Bfing in public, yet it's wall-to-wall tits on the TV and in the newsagents. Ho hum...
I can't remember what magazine it was... Pregnancy and Birth?... but last month's issue had an interview with Jordan in it talking about pregnancy: "I hate being pregnant". Well, that's helpful advice to the readers of Pregnancy and Birth...

ticktockclock · 21/06/2010 15:35

Agree with Housemum.

desanimaux · 21/06/2010 15:36

I think it's great to see someone writing about her personal feelings on breastfeeding. Soooooo much angst and negative feelings of 'second-best' attached to the BF propaganda lobby's tactics.

ImSoNotTelling · 21/06/2010 15:42

Haven't seen the article so hard to say, but based on teh snippets here it sounds very peculiar, to say the least.

VuvuzelaPlenticlew · 21/06/2010 15:57

Surely calling your own breasts "funbags" neutralizes their sexiness far more than feeding a baby ever could.

SloanyPony · 21/06/2010 16:02

Look, I am pro breastfeeding, but are we really at the point where we can't voice free speech on our views on both breastfeeding and formula feeding? Are we only allowed to say positive things about breastfeeding, not say what was negative about it in case we put someone off, and only say either negative things or nothing at all about formula?

She wasn't making erroneous comments like "formula is just as good as breastfeeding" or anything like that so is it really so wrong to voice her own feelings on not wanting to breastfeed? Are her views not valid?

It may well be anti-breastfeeding, but she's not the NHS, or the NCT, or commercially interested (as far as we are aware) in selling formula - she is sharing her own views about breastfeeding and why she didn't want to do it in a parenting magazine, which we read partly to gain insight into various issues that face us as parents.

Why is that wrong?

Baileysismyfriend · 21/06/2010 16:11

YABU, people have different views and they are allowed to express them whether you agree or not.

notnearlyasblondasiwas · 21/06/2010 16:13

I subscribed to the magazine in my post natal haze (waste of £25) and there is the odd decent article in it, but generally it is patronising and depressing imo. On the plus side, you do get the odd good free gift.

I read the article and thought it was a bit strange, but I agree she is expressing an opinion and I'll bet there are plenty of women who have chosen to FF who secretly agree with some of her feelings on the subject, but are just smart enough to keep those thoughts to themselves in case they are stoned!

In the big scheme of things I don't think that this article is going to change anyone's mind how they feed their baby.

tiktok · 21/06/2010 16:13

Of course she can express these views. No one has suggested she should be prevented from doing so - but I pointed out that the way she expressed them was unpleasant and showed a dislike of women and babies, which is very strange for someone in a senior position on a magazine like Mother&Baby!

Her tone of voice when talking about the act of breastfeeding is just nasty.

Original poster
cherrymama · 21/06/2010 16:15

Sloany, I just think it's pretty weird to have an article calling breastfeeding "creepy" in a wellknown popular parenting magazine, especially when the article is written by the deputy editor.

Many of the magazine's advertisers are formula companies so it does have an interest in promoting formula feeding.

OP posts:
SloanyPony · 21/06/2010 16:21

I haven't read the article but if she's saying she found it creepy, I dont see what's wrong with that, as long as she did. If she is saying that breastfeeding mothers are creepy, that's a different thing altogether.

Sassybeast · 21/06/2010 16:21

YANBU - and I also disagree with whoever said that this article won't change minds about BF - people pay attention to these sorts of articles and if anyone who is having any wobbles about BF, this may be the one article which steers them away from it, if they think that being seen to BF is in any way 'creepy'.

And anyone else want to guess the time of the first post on this thread which refers to 'nazis' ? I'll say 16.34

Animation · 21/06/2010 16:22

Well I guess this woman has touched on a Taboo. I've never, as yet, seen the subject discussed. I guess she's trying to talk about the contrast in sensations in her breasts, from a lover and a baby. It's something that women generally figure out on their own quietly , and then learn to "multi-task". The transition's a bit strange.

tethersend · 21/06/2010 16:26

Pah. Some people just don't like breastfeeding. I didn't. I'm still a 'mother' (one half of the magazine's title).

Agree with Sloany.

If nothing else, it's provoked a debate.

The magazine is utter shit- but IMO, this isn't why.

ticktockclock · 21/06/2010 16:27

So she thought it was 'creepy' so what, that was how she felt. She was expressing that feeling and why she felt that way.

There are mums who feel the same way that it is 'creepy', 'strange', 'uncomfortable',
'weird', etc. The other women that feel this way should know that they are not alone in feeling this way, that it can be a normal psychological reaction to have to breastfeeding.

Animation · 21/06/2010 16:32

Yes it's true that some people don't like breastfeeding for other reasons.

I think the subject in question though is taboo - and women aren't comfortable discussing it.

TheCrackFox · 21/06/2010 16:37

It is hard to comment without seeing the article.

But if a woman finds breastfeeding "creepy", "strange" etc then she should see a therapist not write an article aimed at women who may well be breastfeeding.

fragola · 21/06/2010 16:42

I didn't like the article, anyone that uses words like "funbags" should be banned from print anyway! I do support her right to write it though, it's not like she was telling other women not to breast feed, she was expressing how she personally felt about it.

Some women do feel like this and I don't think that they should be silenced because they don't fit in with the "correct" view.

tiktok · 21/06/2010 16:54

It is absolutely not normal to feel breastfeeding is 'creepy'!

It does not mean the holder of this feeling needs psychiatric care, of course but it's a fairly unusual feeling, brought on probably by social and cultural pressures.

As a society, we should feel it's a shame that women and their babies are denied a rewarding and health-ful experience because of feelings like this - not simply shrug and say 'each to their own' and feel it does not matter.

Breastfeeding is a normal interaction between a mother and her baby. It should be supported and enabled, just as any other normal interaction would be. I don't think women who feel these negative feelings should be pressurised not to have them - it might be better in some individual cases to avoid bf, if it really is horribly repulsive to them, and to concentrate on having a loving, happy formula feeding experience instead. But no one should be thinking it doesn't matter that these feelings exist.

More than the 'creepy' thing, though, I found her tone unpleasant and aggressive - not in keeping with an accepting tolerant view of parental choices of any sort.

OrmRenewed · 21/06/2010 17:03

It matters because the default position for feeding babies is still ff. So saying she finds it 'creepy' is giving permission for other people, not just mothers, to say they find it creepy. And that is not a good idea.